Tortured by Rider's Comet with Persephone Page

Written and produced by Ronald Bell and G-Dawg Trading~  Title: Still Here Waiting for the Colors(Verse 1 – the low) I wake up inside the same grey room Ceiling presses down like wet cement The air tastes like pennies and perfume From someone who left three years ago, unspent My bones are full of concrete and rain Every thought arrives already tired I tell my hands to move, they just complain Like they've forgotten how to be inspired (Pre-chorus) And I remember when the lights were loud When I could taste electricity on my tongue Now the circuit's blown, I'm screaming to a crowd That never showed — the silence won (Chorus) I'm still here waiting for the colors Still here counting heartbeats in the dark Tried to outrun the black dog with my disorders But it just learned to run beside my heart One more morning, one more cup of nothing One more promise that I'll try again Manic depression taught me bluffing But God, I wish that lying hurt less when I'm still here (Verse 2 – trying to cope) I make lists of things that used to matter Cross them off like debts I'll never pay Brush my teeth and smile in shattered Mirror pieces — call it a good day I text "I'm fine" with shaking fingers While the room spins slow like cheap red wine I tell the mirror I've got this, but it lingers That old familiar whisper: "You're not even trying" (Bridge – the tiny rebellions) So I open the window even when it's freezing Let the wind slap color in my face I water plants that look like they're leaving Sing off-key in an empty space I stay. I stay when every nerve is begging "run" I stay when the sadness feels like oxygen I stay because some stupid part of me still Believes tomorrow might let the light back in (Final Chorus – quieter, bruised but breathing) I'm still here waiting for the colors Not the manic blaze, not the blinding white Just a soft gold hour, just a few less hours Where the weight lifts enough to feel alright One more morning, cracked but never broken One more breath I didn't want to take Manic depression — you haven't spoken The last word yet… I'm still awake I'm still here (Outro – almost whispered) Still here. Still here. Still...