Toxic productivity, self-abandonment & regenerative self-care. Tamu Thomas #75

  Where did you learn how to be a woman who worked too much? Who modelled it? And if you don't identify as a woman, stay tuned. The women in your life are likely overwhelmed and constantly doing – this episode will help you to understand why.  Tamu Thomas is a former social worker, and now a coach and author of Women Who Work Too Much. In this conversation Tamu and Mandy discuss toxic positivity and self-abandonment, and where these can come from (Tamu shares how she learned to overachieve in her Sierra Leonean family). You'll also learn how to reclaim rest and regenerative selfcare, and how Grace Jones championed Tamu through hard times (Grace is available for pep talks, by the way). Mandy gives Tamu three real-life coaching scenarios to unpack. Insightful, powerful and radically practical. 2:06 How Tamu learned to work too much 6:37 Toxic Productivity 10:34 Self-abandonment – "It's not your fault" 11:45 Being "nice" means it's okay to feel bad, but not to look bad 12:46 How we learn to ignore our needs in favour of people pleasing 13:41 Tamu's late diagnosed ADHD 15:28 Women and ambition; bossy leadership 17:46 The antidote to self-abandonment is safe community 19:23 Grace Jones gives Tamu pep talks 21:42 Post-traumatic growth and compassion 23:45 Regenerative selfcare – What is it? Why it matters 26:40 Boundaries 28:04 Regenerative selfcare in action 28:50 Good girl conditioning and stepping into bold womanhood 30:58 Regenerative selfcare is reading about political policies and voting 32:46 Coaching question 1: Corporate Armadillo. Woman in her 50s, has spent her corporate career armoured up. Wants to change 36:40 Coaching question 2: Woman of colour in her 40s who's a people pleaser 40:35 Coaching question 3: I'm a midlife corporate lawyer and I've given myself to my job and my kids. I miss ME. 44:08 Tamu's Brick of Wisdom 44:40 Outro LINKS: Tamu Thomas' website and book. Tamu on Instagram Mandy on Instagram