Toxic Shaming: An Intensely Powerful Tool of the Covert Narcissist

Toxic shaming is about obedience and compliance. Narcissistic people use this tool often to manipulate their victims. Covert narcissists have a defining sense of being defective and unlovable. This haunts them all their life. It creates a lifelong fight against shame. Shame is an emotion experienced when one’s flaws and deficits become known or when one is afraid they will become known. They actually get trapped in a cycle of anger when their shame is triggered. Their anger is their way of not dealing with the painful feelings of shame. Instead they just get angry at the person who evoked the shame, whether they intended to or not. They rage at them, blame them, and project onto them. Narcissistic people get stuck in a cycle - feeling shame, lashing out in rage, feeling more shame, lashing out more, and so on. It grows and escalates. Covert narcissists project all this shame onto you, their victim. They make you look and feel inferior to feed their need to feel superior. They control your self-perception, undermining your self-esteem and driving you towards self-destruction. They manipulate you to take blame for their behavior. They use this shame to isolate you from others. Intense shame can lead to intense anxiety, self-hatred, withdrawal, fear, addictions, self-harm, anger, and more. Start learning to speak your truth. Give yourself permission to feel your own feelings and room to be human. It is okay to do things that you could have done better, to say things that you could have said better. There is nothing wrong with this. No one died and made you God that you had to be perfect. You are human! You are allowed to be human!! --- This episode is sponsored by · Anchor: The easiest way to make a podcast. https://anchor.fm/app Support this podcast: https://anchor.fm/covertnarcissism/support   I am Renee Swanson, and I help people recover from covert narcissistic abuse. Are you tired of feeling isolated and alone?  Are you searching for people who get it?  Are you confused, reactive and unsure what to do?  Are you running in circles in your mind? Are you worried for your kids and the effect this is having on them?  Do you want to know how not to raise another narcissist in this world? I can help you! I offer both group and individual coaching, which you can find at www.covertnarcissism.com   Renee Swanson, Certified Coach and Advocate for Victims of Covert Narcissistic Abuse http://www.covertnarcissism.com https://www.tiktok.com/@cngreneeswanson https://www.youtube.com/@cngreneeswanson https://www.facebook.com/renee.covertnarcissism Hosted by Simplecast, an AdsWizz company. See pcm.adswizz.com for information about our collection and use of personal data for advertising.