Traffic School - 08/08/2025

Oh, buckle in, because this episode of Traffic School Powered by The Advocates was less of a radio show and more of a high-speed demolition derby for the human brain. The hosts somehow managed to transform basic legal questions into a full-blown carnival of chaos: one minute they’re debating whether saying “goodnight” to your bros is the new masculinity benchmark, the next they’re uninviting spouses from a quadruple date to go see Weird Al “the tweaker” on a street corner. Listeners call in with questions ranging from “Can I put my kids in the bed of my truck while I speed down the highway?” (answer: yes, if you don’t mind proving your love with mild child endangerment), to “What do I do if I hit an eagle with my motorcycle?” (answer: hope the eagle doesn’t press charges because it definitely doesn’t carry insurance). Then it spirals—pipe bombs in Fords, exploding beached whales, people surfing on Chevy Blazers through lava rock beds, and a woman named Ravonda casually admitting she’s drinking a beer, driving with her kneecap, and pelting cars with eggs like some outlaw Easter Bunny. Every single caller is either confessing to a misdemeanor, begging for a tuck-in phone call, or plotting how to weaponize agricultural byproducts. The entire show plays out like a fever dream where Weird Al, Rick Astley, and Louie Louie are the horsemen of the musical apocalypse, while Lieutenant Crane tries desperately to keep people from setting off explosives or recreating Jackass on Idaho highways. By the end, everyone’s still alive, slightly traumatized, and somehow craving ice cream from a sketchy West Yellowstone knife shop. Truly, a masterpiece of roadside delirium.