Traffic School - 09/12/2025

This episode of Traffic School was pure chaos in the best way possible: it started with an impromptu interrogation about a suspiciously large duffle bag being smuggled into a station vehicle (don’t worry, it’s just “hats”), then immediately spiraled into a live commercial for Idaho produce at Walmart in Chubbuck, which somehow became a running joke about peaches being the most dangerous contraband in the state. Lieutenant Crain wandered in wearing a Freddy Krueger shirt like it was Halloween in September, only to be roasted for canceling a Harley ride because of “a little rain.” Listeners called in with everything from Pinto-bragging, kidney-rattling bass trucks, and grandpas forging optometry forms to keep their licenses, to dirt bikers accidentally turning a joyride into a survival expedition up a mountain. Carl nearly blew the speakers out of the broadcast just by existing, Peaches threatened to walk through the scene of an accident on Highway 20, and someone seriously asked if Rexburg had outlawed skateboarding for being “too fun.” By the midpoint, the hosts were plotting helicopter escapes from traffic, threatening listeners with eternal sentences to “Peaches’ Pit Party” if they didn’t call in, and debating the legality of tinted license plate covers like it was a Supreme Court case. The whole show felt like a fever dream sponsored by Walmart, the Advocates, and pure gasoline fumes—ending with the revelation that the only real law in Idaho is: don’t get too close to Viktor’s vehicle, because you’ll never know what’s in the bag.