transparency - get to know me

audio from a 2 hour youtube live i did on april 20, 2026. i woke up annoyed and didn't know why, shuffled some playing cards, pulled the one that said transparency, and went live. this is what came out.what i actually get into:- the people i come from. my grandmother who kept a pistol and a vibrator in her nightstand and would throw a knife if you came at her sideways. my great-grandmother who was a businesswoman and a madame. why nobody who knows my lineage is surprised i moved to bahia alone with no support system- the lie about how digital nomads actually make money. who has a side job they don't tell you about. who lives off social security, child support, a spouse, military benefits. who's trying to sell you a course on something they had handed to them. and who's actually doing the work- retainers. why one-off contracts almost broke me. why retainers are the only model that ever gave me consistent income. why people stay scared of the word because they think only attorneys use them- the real cost of being a true digital nomad. domain names, hosting, software subscriptions, the things that quietly add up to a car payment every month. why i didn't get a manicure for seven years. why i'm explaining all this instead of selling you a course- the gap between how people fashion brazil online vs. how it actually is when you live here. the 2 hour bus commutes service workers do every day. catcalling in nyc vs. walking around safely here. dating as a gringa and the propane-tank-money game- what master craftsmanship looks like in the interior of bahia. men who can mix gravel into a fence and climb a tree to bring you fruit. ingenuity that you can't fake. why these are my people and why my mom said "i always knew you'd find your tribe one day"- visa types nobody explains properly. digital nomad vs. work vs. student vs. residency vs. citizenship. what it actually costs to do this without getting hustled- aging at 52 as a black woman in tech. why i'm not 100% confident about my looks or my work and i still show up. why insurance vs. assurance is a real conversation. why i think people stay stuck in jobs that stress them out specifically because they can't imagine not having medical insurancea heads up: i forgot i was live for a minute and a few words slipped through. consider this a flag for sensitive ears or kids in the car.if anything in here lands visit faafo.app. and if you want the rest of what i make: i host other podcasts on the faafo network --- you can find all of them on your favorite podcast app.