Trauma Fights the Clock But Caregiving Fights the Calendar

When someone we love is hurting, suffering, or impaired, we often heroically leap to action and fight the danger. Although a good trait in an emergency, it's unsustainable in the marathon of caregiving. Unlike trauma, caregiving requires a different approach. In trauma, the clock is the adversary, but it's the calendar in caregiving. Emergency circumstances require immediate action, but hasty movement can engage caregivers in way too many battles on multiple fronts, leaving us depleted – or worse. As Don Diego stated to Alejandro in The Mask of Zorro, "Oh, yes, my friend, you would have fought very bravely and died very quickly." While actions remain important, discretionary valor is equally, if not more, essential as a caregiver. That discretion of knowing when to act, speak, or be still—comes with time and practice, but it's a necessary part of our journey in becoming healthy caregivers. Being still often requires enormous discipline and is its own form of bravery. Although some may not recognize it, knowing when to act often reflects extraordinary valor. "Don't just do something, stand there!" - Unknown