Triggers for Addicts and Partners

Every recovering addict has to face their triggers at some point. Triggers that are handled in a healthy way don't result in regrettable behaviors, while unmanaged triggers can lead to additional pain and loss of trust. Seeking Integrity's Scott Brassart joins Tami for a conversation about the nature of triggers and the options that addicts have when dealing with them. This session was live via SexandRelationshipHealing.com on December 20, 2023. TAKEAWAYS: [:30] What are triggers? What happens when they are set off? [2:04] Internal triggers relate to feelings such as fear, shame, loneliness, and boredom. [4:06] External triggers include arguments, visual stimuli, unstructured free time and more. [6:04] Not all triggers are negative, but all triggers elicit a response. [7:04] Betrayed partners are often dealing with post-traumatic triggers. [8:10] Step number one when feeling triggered – pause and figure out what you're feeling. [12:05] Triggers are simply data that you can use intentionally. [15:23] Your partner is not always the best support person to turn to. [18:13] The importance of gratitude when facing triggers. [19:00] Being triggered can be considered a gift. [24:37] People trigger me – am I even fit to be a partner? [27:15] My sleep is affected by my trauma and pain. What can I do? [36:25] Intimacy and anger avoidance both point to trauma and underlying pain. [43:06] How can I manage my triggered feelings about the other addicts in my husband's recovery group? RESOURCES: Seekingintegrity.com Email Tami: [email protected] Sexandrelationshiphealing.com Intherooms.com Out of the Doghouse: A Step-by-Step Relationship-Saving Guide for Men Caught Cheating, by Robert Weiss Prodependence: Moving Beyond Codependency, by Robert Weiss Sex Addiction 101: A Basic Guide to Healing from Sex, Porn, and Love Addiction, by Robert Weiss Cruise Control: Understanding Sex Addiction in Gay Men, by Robert Weiss Seeking Integrity Podcasts are produced in partnership with Podfly Productions. QUOTES "Triggers spin us into a cycle of something that we don't want to be in." "Triggers are normal for addicts, they're normal for betrayed partners, they're normal for people whose lives are perfect!" "All feelings are driven by needs – good feelings are met needs, bad feelings are unmet needs." "Triggers lose power when they're not rewarded."