Yo, what's up people? I'm your host Jay Will and I would like to welcome you to inspire guys people where we balance faith and business To guide you to your purpose. This is episode 216 truth is I'm tired. You feel what I'm saying?
I'm really tired out here on some real stuff like all jokes aside, but I got a dope guest today Young ladies bent on the show before Selena deal who's a licensed therapist out of the Chicago area So if you're interested in her story just search through our episodes I have to tell you exactly what number it was, but she's given like her whole like life story and share some unique Experiences and how she got to where she is in her career So we've done that and today is different I brought Selena back because I want to kick it with a professional you feel what I'm saying a professional that loves the Lord And let's talk about this idea of being tired being burnt out It's the beginning of the year I know but let's be real about it like some of us are so ambitious and got so much going on in our life They were constantly just trying to reach goals and reach goals and sometimes somewhere along the way We kind of lose sight of what's most important which is our relationship with the Lord as well as like Can I rest my way to success do I have to be stressful? Is this normal am I tripping so we gonna talk to Selena? We don't kick it You know I'm saying about some of those things and get her perspective and see what she has to say with all with the intention of helping You know your journey and walk with Christ You know I'm saying and also as you trying to like walk with the Lord and be successful balancing faith in business. So Without further ado Selena deal.
What's up? Hello. Hello. Hello everyone.
Happy to be here. Welcome to the show I'm excited to have you want appreciate you coming back again and inspire guys people like I was telling the people you know I'm saying You know you're a professional and you got this blog taste and see good therapy I advise anybody to go check it out, which you know, let me say this before we get started Selena I want to thank you publicly for giving me the opportunity to write on your blog. So no, thank you It was your story you and your wife story is Inspirational and we don't get it from the men's perspective often and so it was a delight to have you I should go read that really good. Yeah, you know I'm saying so I appreciate you for jumping on look I was a so I tell you I was reading your blog Taste and see good therapy on taste and see good therapy dot com all right I'm not gonna keep looking at but I want people to know where to get it But I was reading your blog and you did this series on rest and that's really what piqued my interest and kind of getting you here today So can we just start off just talking like what led you to explore that topic in particular?
Yes, and I don't know what's going on my camera. So we're just gonna act like that's happening. Okay, cool. Great.
Oh, yeah But why we want this to not be doing? So what sorry can't answer the case You get you good. Yeah, I just wanted to know like what you know kind of sparked You writing this whole blog series on rest Yeah, I have been intrigued by the concept of rest from a biblical perspective for some time now I did I think I did a conference on it. Maybe a representative conference in 2020 about it.
And that's where I got the initial Kind of like introduction to what biblical spiritual rest looks like and then from there I've continued to just in my own life and the life of my clients and the people around me see that that is the area that we really lack in and Trying to find what is the root of it and we all have our own but it comes down to lack of dependency on God from what I what my studies Have shown and so Since I know that that is a big part of a lot of people's lives the lack of rest I think it's a topic that you can't really exhaust because we will find ourselves exhausted often especially being here on earth because Rest here is going to be completely different than heaven and so we have to steward what we have now rightfully because the Bible actually says That we need to take the offer of rest. And so if it's a commandment Then we we are lacking ourselves or we are not lacking ourselves But we are prohibiting ourselves to get into a place with God if we're not taking a offering of rest that Jesus offers us Like a silly not to take it, but a lot of us don't what why do you think we've done? What is our challenge with rest? I Would say pride We think that we need to and we can do it all and so or we're thinking if we don't do it It's not going to get done.
We're not necessarily allowing God to come in and do something while we rest But oftentimes it's within our rest that God can show himself even more because you know that you did nothing to obtain what you have You just rested and you were still so be still and know and so that's a rested position doesn't say be active and know Yeah, but he said we still so what does that look like so sometimes I think it's our pride gets in the way of looking at that as someone who can work While we rest Too proud to rest. I think that was I don't know if that was the title of the blog But that was one of your lives you wrote was too proud to rest I thought it was interesting because I think that was the one where you talked about what you just mentioned which is which is this idea that there will always be work to do so is this weird balance of Wanting to get done which will never happen because that means if you're done you have nothing to do Be okay with the fact that there is more to do I thought that was a really interesting dynamic that I think sometimes we just kind of struggle to even think about rest, you know You think do you think and this is just me? I don't know if you might feel the same, but I'm wondering how you feel about the idea of just like Society right like making it hard to be a person that even talks about rest because that's not what gets the clicks rest There is isn't something you brag about like there's no way for me to show off like tonight Like you know, I guess if I'm like resting on the beach or something like that But do you feel like society plays a part at all or am I tripping? No, I think it's weird because now society we're into this Man, what did he say my cousin just said it recently and I'm not I'm not hip on all the some of the lingo so like soft girl era I think that's a soft life.
I just heard about this last week. Okay. Go ahead. Yeah, okay You're making that like we old So yeah, the soft life I think it's supposed to come from a a restful perspective of how you're living you're like if I'm getting the concept correct Um, so I think society is trying to do it But it's a little backwards because you feel the need to show that you're having this soft life Yeah, so so I heard it through a slightly different lens that is similar but different I heard it through the lens specifically as like a woman that is chilling at the expense of a man So I kind of heard it in that yeah, but you know, I don't know which is the right way That's just the way that it was explained to me which is similar right?
It's just the idea like oh, yeah, I'm gonna I'm gonna rest but I got luxury and I think that's part of it It's this dynamic of like we want things. You know saying like even when I think about the struggle with rest, right? So I'll be transparent like for me. I am a I'm a person is just I'm a consistent hard worker I've been this way for years And now that I think hard work is wrong But when you're a person like that sometimes it's like you struggle with the idea of like taking the foot off the gas and resting because you Feel like you're missing some level of progress that needs to be done And I don't know if I'm an anomaly or if I represent maybe a majority of people who struggle with rest But that's kind of like my area of struggle of just being a person that loves progress and growth and when it comes to me doing nothing I can kind of just be like how do you do nothing?
What does nothing produce? So again, I think rest is this thing that we struggle with because of various reasons I'm curious though Like do you is this something you struggle with personally or is it just something that you've observed and like can you share a little bit about? You know your struggle with rest for the people. Yeah, for sure.
I'm getting better, but I was raised with With a mom who I love dearly But she had there's six kids in the home So she had to run it the way she ran it and that meant that we were on a Unrestful schedule often she would even close the kitchen at 10 a.m. So we had to get up and make sure we eat breakfast before 10 a.m And if we don't then the kitchen is closed You can't eat into lunch and so there's a little thing like that had been ingrained into who I am and so you know Going to undergrad and grad school. I still had this mentality like I have to keep doing something otherwise I'm being productive and I think my mom has that mentality as well So she just passed it on to us unbeknownst to her that it would cause exhaustion and her children but as an adult I started to realize that I was doing so much and I was so tired and so the Fulfillment started to disappear because it wasn't even worth it based off how tired I was and at the end of the day Realizing that sometimes the efforts have little to nothing to show. It's just it just makes me feel better that I'm doing something And then I'm challenged when I was preparing a 2020 for the women's conference about rest I was challenged with the concept that uncertainty is the reason why I cannot risk Because I don't know what's going to happen So I'm trying to prepare for something that I don't know is going to happen or not going to happen And that's why I can't rest But that's not something that is my job to do like that that is a bad problem for real And so once I found that out inside of resting and the fact that I know nothing and I have to trust the person that knows everything Then that started it started to come off of me a little bit and even still till this day I have to battle with the thoughts of I need to be doing something and not doing restful activities That makes sense and so it's a matter of like it's trust involved It's faith involved and so resting is a part of that faith in the Lord They're like all right I can take my foot off the gas and relax because Lord I know that even with my hard work Right, it's through faith and trusting you that you are actually opening doors and you're guiding the ship anyway And I think that's such an excellent point and gives us some comfort in effect I like yo, this God is actually in control.
So this is something that my wife kicked about often Just trying to like you know It's like again because I've been such a hard worker and in a doer and those type of things in my wife as well It's one of those things where you have to remind yourself to like even your success Like don't don't let the smooth takes food You like well very wise to stop in the midst of success and realize that yes I work hard But God gave me favorite he opened the doors he gave me these gifts and talents And so it's not me and I think as much as we could tell ourselves as believers It's not me then we can be more comfortable with resting. Yes, I have another I have another perspective That is just going to bounce off of what you said So I was I was writing today trying to prepare for another blog And I realized something that when it comes to especially You know these resolutions and we have all these goals and they usually we have like four pillars humans are so we are so simple But we think we're like We want more financial stability. We want our bodies to look better We want better relationships And that's about it like that's kind of like where the success of like new year new me This was what I'm gonna be doing What I realized in my writing today is that that is a dying hope which means is going to assist to cease to exist at some point Like that's a dying hope like all those things have to die because Jesus has to come back And so you have to rightfully place your hope in a living hope Which is someone who has no end something that has no end which is Jesus And so if you if you change the perspective like this is a dying hope because even even your spouse or you or even your wife To you what are you gonna die? That's a dying hope like you you love them Well, why they're here, but someone has to know like this is just this is just what life is about And so if your hope is wrapped up into all of these things And that's it when that thing dies you die and that's not what Jesus died for He didn't die for your hope to be in something that died But something that died and then lived and so that's him and so all that just saying success and everything Yes, but that's a that's a dying hope that is so that is so small compared to what he Which is a living hope I love that dying hope versus living hope somebody asked the question What's up gen gen acts did it teach you discipline?
Are you talking about rest gen appreciate you as always tuning into the show? I'm assuming she's asking about Rest doesn't teach us discipline Maybe the trust or faith. What would you say generally? I was your thoughts around does this teach you discipline the rest?
Yeah, cuz Keep the Sabbath is a commandment. So that's a commandment. We just kind of throw out the window everything else. We can't you know We got a No, I am Holy But we don't overlook that one and so yes, it teaches you discipline just like these other internal boundaries that we have whether so like I'm not going to kill someone I'm not gonna say what somebody else is about I'm not like we have these internal boundaries as Christians And so why is rest that one thing that we keep stepping over the line with and so it does teach you discipline Once you think of it like this is actually part of the command that we're supposed to be following if we say we love God Yeah, and like you talked about that in your blog as well And just the fact that Jesus rested right and it's like that's what always hits me when when I'm struggling with resting and again I'm just being real my main struggle is like I don't know what to do I'm like like you said I am a simple person at the end of the day like for me I like winning stuff.
I'm just gonna be real if you gamify something I like winning awards at work when I was in elementary school I still got all the awards I want like winning stuff makes everything worth it to me So it's like because I like tangible like if I give something my time I like to be able to quantify that it was worth it right And where I where I have struggle and I'm saying struggle as a necessary struggle because this something I've been Intentionally working on at the same time But I'm just being honest where I struggle is where do I find the incentive and rest and I'm not saying that there's not incentive there That's that's a rhetorical question from the standpoint of like meaning I have to change how I'm looking at an incentive There's like a lot of my other things that I'm doing it's a physical thing I can quantify whereas rest is really spiritual It's like even if you look at fitness or health is like rest like you need the rest more and when I read that I'm like All right, what's more is it our is it doing nothing? You know, so it can be a tricky thing I think that's why people might struggle with and like you said skip past the commandment because I don't think we ever stop too often To actually figure out how do I apply this particular command? So can you tell us like from your perspective and it's just an example. This might look different for a lot of people What does rest even look like in your mind?
Yeah, and it's it is going to look different for a lot of people It is something that is fighting against productivity for you. That's that's the simplest form of it And so for me that looks like not checking my email first thing in the morning I'm not looking at Instagram first thing in the morning, but trying to and I'm saying trying because it's a surprise To do something that's why he gets productive. He said I'm going to sit I'm going to make my London fog and I'm going like I'm doing slow things and I'm going to read a book I'm going to have a slow start to my day because it fights product to be I have so much time to be productive if God gives me grace So I can also use some time to rest even if it's 45 minutes in the morning Because even thinking about how you're can you imagine so this is to me like this is like a It's like a metaphor or a visualization of You waking up and the first thing you start doing is like a whole bunch of pull-ups So that's what you're doing to your body. So like we think about your mind Why do you why do you start out of 10 and another thing?
I do a lot of scaling with myself and with my clients because it helps to fit things in perspective And so you already know that your day especially with people like you have a job will say you have a spouse Let's say you have children whatever it may be you already know that most of the time you're going to be heightened throughout your day at some point But something something's going to happen So if we can just start our day out of two that means that we'll probably get up to a seven It's like that's the highest and that's not the worst But a lot of times we start out of five and then I'm right at ten and we're ruining things like when we come home You're mad at people you're talking to people crazy and because you started your day out of five But if you could consciously think like how can I start my day attitude today? Like what would that look like am I going to take a walk and just breathe like what is it and so Scaling it I think is a big thing that can help us off the fight that productivity and to rest as well Slowing it down. I like that like that. It's this weird I know I got this thing that I say to myself in my head randomly sometimes like slow it down It's a way that I say it's really done but I think I think that's that's valuable especially for me because you said doing things that fight productivity like that is just I just feel like you punch me in the stomach on that one because at the end of the day like I said I am so like centered around being productive.
I don't know why it's probably like some if you go through I'm sure there's reasons right like I can pull some stuff through my childhood like Why do you want to be so productive or whatever? But just find and comfort and peace and doing those things that fight productivity like that's something I'm gonna take away from this conversation for myself. I'm like oh just just fight it in so as an example for me I've been mostly off social media for about six to eight weeks now, right? And Like you said, it's just like I was finding myself like and I've been like a person that like have boundaries with scrolling and stuff Like that's I barely scrolled my timeline But it's just like I'm like I just waste random time like even me and my brothers and friends they send me funny videos and stuff I'm like I just waste a lot of times and I'm doing that first So like you said I think it's like um Finding purposeful things that you can do to rest because as we're having this conversation You said some things read a book, you know drink some hot chocolate or something like relax stretch And I think we just have to be purposeful at least in my mind It's like I want to be productive so I almost have to view resting as like be purposeful Which are rest because I'm gonna be honest and saying all that I have to say I think what I really struggle with with rest Is that I sometimes don't see the line between resting and wasting time is a blur for me and I don't like to waste time so But doing things that fight productivity.
I'm definitely gonna take that away from this. That was dope. Yeah, a lot of people look at rest as a waste of time And so we can we can just name everything that's a waste of time then like if we really want to But it's something that you need and that's that's what God said he said that this is an offer and the truth is It doesn't sound like you're not going to get into heaven if you don't rest But I was speaking somewhere and the thought came to me that rest here on earth is you operating in his grace And then rest in heaven is you operating in his glory? And so either way for us to fall short of his grace because we are too prideful to do that That's all that's turning us like I don't think I don't think you know kick you out of him whenever you don't rest however Yeah, and you know what um and there's for me right like so let me see how I can Um say this always I'm sorry.
I have to pause before I get transparent mostly because I try to make sure I'm not about to say something That involves people where my work life Um direct that is like now and not the past but I'll say this um in the last year. I really struggled actually did a I did an episode called he saw the stress in me and I was at the super stress point last year And a lot of it was just around business, you know what I mean working At a high level of sales and and account management and things like that And I found myself in a place where the stress is what actually made the rest serious to me So it's like I started getting stressful at a level that I don't typically get to And it led me to like getting back in the gym and that's why I'm in this process I've been in it probably the last four to five months of like kind of recalibrating and refocusing things that matter where I should be putting my time But how does somebody prevent like getting to like a dangerous space of like stress or health issues? Um and kind of see this before it gets there because I don't know I feel like at least sometimes myself included it feels like We wait until stuff get too bad. Yeah, so like take action on it.
Yeah You have to be mindful of your body And so again that scaling piece is is a tool that I use because you can check in with your whole body with a scare Like you know, okay, we were talking about back being earlier. I said like okay my back my back is that a six today? So what does that mean? We're not going to be lifting weights today because why am I going to exact worry about like it hurts So I'm not going to do it.
Um and so just being mindful and aware of your body is the first step to me and so and also thinking about Knowing that you may be going into a stressful season of life And so preparing for that season of life like if you get a promotion and you know You already made the decision. This is something that I'm going to do And so if that is the case you have to count your loss Like what are you going to lose with taking this offer? And then what am I going to do to make sure that I don't lose my mind while I'm doing the same thing? Like if people get a newborn puppy or baby like you're going to lose something You're not sleeping you're not sleeping you're changing but is this too?
It's a lot going on you're going outside to make sure the puppy is about very too much So staying staying inside of your body and knowing like, okay What do I have coming up? What do I need to do today? How do I feel and progressing that way the hope is that you're in tune enough once you continue to practice You're in tune enough to know that okay I'm at a level where I'm about to like burn out and I could have a panic attack For me oftentimes like something in my body is just shaking like either It's my leg or like my shoulder is switching and I need to go and walk and once I walk That's kind of my that's how I relax myself if I walk in nature I'm calm enough to now make a decision That's the other thing that my decisions when you're in that like seven to ten threshold Because things that's usually am I that's where people end up going to jail. This is a theory But seriously seriously Let me make decisions from a very stressed or high emotional state Unrested state art decisions are usually garbage.
That's facts I read um, I want to say it was Jordan Peterson's 12 rules of life where I read this But he actually talked about that if I'm correct about the book I read it in He talked about the idea of like most people in prison and again, I'm not gonna say no percentages Nothing because this is a couple years ago that I read it but it was like most of the people in prison are Spinning like most of the people spending their life in prison like 30 years plus or because it's because of a decision They made in 15 seconds. So it's like don't let 15 seconds ruin the rest of your life I think to your point if we think of it through it through it that way of like not making decisions Why you stressed and relaxing it's funny because I've actually had a couple conversations this week and I'm not going to go into detail because One of the people I talked to was like, man, you're gonna be talking about this on your podcast. I was like no Right, it's happening right now But it's just funny because I talked to a couple people this week and it was like it was just that even though I wasn't thinking through it that way It was like don't make that decision now like sleep on that and I think again rest on that Sometimes we have to know like when to just chill and not be hasty Because when you get stressed I think that's the reason I brought up stress is because when you have a lack of rest And it kind of throws a lot of things out of wack and like you said you come home You mad at people that ain't there nothing to you and you're just different and I I found myself in some ways not necessarily like lashing out at people But I found myself last year dealing with a level of stress and I was like whoa like I was telling my wife I legit don't this don't feel like me and I thank god Um since then that has changed some things have changed Um and it's funny you talked about a season I was like the last two years felt like that for me like that I had to get through that maybe I didn't properly assess And I got through that now and I'm just trying to know and this might be maybe another I guess topic of the discussion The weird thing i'm dealing with now Selena is like now that I have kind of changed and reevaluated everything It's being okay with the calmness Like it's cool You're not stressed because you could be stressed for so long that that becomes normal to you And you're almost like am I good that i'm not stressed and it's like yeah not being stressed is normal So I don't know how you feel if you ever come across people that you know or something that They live in such a high pace life or fast life that they're that like calm things make them uncomfortable But I know people like that and I struggle with that at different points in my life Yeah for sure even even with my own life feeling like if everything's cool Something right Yeah And i'm wondering when you were saying that i'm wondering if that's I look at everything from a spiritualize I'm wondering if that is that is a mindset that enemy utilizes to keep you productive and keep you from entering into the rest Because if you continue to think if everything is calm If god gives you the grace to have a calm season a calm day and that's not like you you're thinking something is wrong It's so backwards and that's what the enemy just makes everything backwards And i'm wondering if that's part of it Of course it is because I mean we have a we have an enemy that is proud and honest day to day And so if you can come for something that you're not even thinking of as spiritual It's over that's facts. No, and i'm not going to deny that because I think it's a good point Um and again like for me it's like you I'll say it this way like all right I grew up in in the hood and Detroit right?
So there's this this period of life where you grind and you're working hard because you're trying to get out Like you're trying to make sure that you make something of your life or maybe you grind in at one point because it's like oh I'm saving money to get a house or whatever whatever and it's this weird thing You know, I've experienced this at different times in life where There's this balance of like being satisfied and thankful and grateful when you achieve something But then on the other side realizing that achieving the thing doesn't solve everything And I think that's where the rest being necessary really is maybe evident or has been in my life because it's like oh You can get a certain car or whatever Whatever just example is not saying i got anything but like you can get things and then you get them and you're like Oh, like it. It's just still a car It doesn't solve like like you know what i'm saying? And so I think that's where i'm also seeing that like it's okay to rest Maybe you had to grind to get to a certain point, but don't allow yourself to be in a loop And maybe got a rest and then grind again for something else and rest but the rest is important. Yep 100% I think the the side is that guy he modeled that so well like he worked then rested like the bible says you got to be both It's it's clear like you got to work and you have to rest and so learning what that balance is for you and making sure That you are doing both Well, and if you need direction in that asking him like god i'm struggling with figuring out how to balance this resting um Help me figure this out because I want to see what it feels like to be rested in you and be productive from a place of rest Rather than being exhausted and that's what's causing me to rest or burn out or whatever it is like We don't want to get to that point every time That's facts.
I see y'all in the comments would have gins said if god need to rest why wouldn't we that is straight facts And genus is team balance. That's right gen i see you on facebook on the road and your truck posting stuff So it's good to know that you're getting some rest you always post some nice sceneries and stuff too Um, you know, I think when we when we think about rest there's there's another aspect and you say that like you make You think of things through a spiritual lens that's perfectly fine with me on the same way sometimes i'm like i'm too deep I know but um I wonder too if there's an aspect of working hard outside of the will of god Where sometimes it's like you just tired because you ain't even doing what god wants you to do You know what i'm saying because like we can be working hard and i've experienced both of these so i'm not pointing to finger it But it's like times where when i'm working on things and I know this is what the lord wants me to be doing That doesn't come with the stress a lot of times But it's when you start taking the wheel and being like I'm doing this thing and especially if you haven't even you know tried to view your life through the lens of Salvation through christ then sometimes you might not know it's like man you carry in burdens. That's not even yours Yeah, well, you said that I don't know why but the visual came up of someone trying to make some of their wife so bad And got it like and nothing's working out and you're like exhausted pursuing this person It's like it's not for you. It's not for you and can you accept that it's not for you and that's I'm reading this book called shattered dreams.
I can't remember who the author is I think it's Tony clap or something like that But he talks about shattered shattered dreams and being okay with the fact that the things that you desire May not happen like the things that you hold so dearly May not happen and i'm like Right like yeah, I agree Right, and so thinking about You be okay With all the dreams that you have in your mind and this is again in your mind Unless god has promised you these things which sometimes it's hard to confirm that until it happens How how can you live a life? pleasing to god arrested life And still hold open your hands with your life and say whatever happens I'm going to pursue what I believe you want me to pursue but whatever happens god It's in your will and now and he also mentioned How jesus when it came to the point where he was about to be crucified even jesus was like if there's another way Are you sure? So we can add to we can add that if there's another way right? I would like to take that option, but if that is not your will I would submit to that I mean that's what we have to come back to every time with All these hopes and dreams like this dying hope i'm gonna hold fast to that even though like success and money and relationships I get it help I get it, but it's a dying hope if those things never happen Are you okay?
Because that is the will of god that's his will for your life. Are you okay without and some of us got it looking really Not really Right Never figure out how to get there. Yeah, sorry Like I literally as you're saying that i'm thinking like like it's okay, and I think It reminds me of consentment. I guess and like In our pursuit of ambition and success We have to be content with where god wants to set you know and If I haven't seen nothing else i've seen in this life that there's always more to get right I mean in this temporary more on this earth like there's more so like you can go and make 100 million dollars and then go to a certain place and then there's the guy or girl That's where 500 million and in that setting they're the man they're the ones that everybody's gravitating to And I think sometimes when you're when you're climbing right so I speak you know again So that i'm not talking about other people i try to speak from a personal standpoint of like I've been climbing a corporate ladder for for years You know what i'm saying and you know about a grace of god I made it to the executive level and it's funny like there's two things that kind of happened for me It's like you get to be an executive and then you realize like Well, it's levels to this too.
So it's kind of like you go from like being at the bottom They're like oh, I'm gonna be an executive. I'm gonna get to this level and then you like work up work up And you get there and he realized like oh, I'm like to i'm the baby in a room of executives You know what i mean is like i'm getting this kind of money or they doing that And so what i'm learning through that process is being okay with where god wants me and understanding There is always going to be someone That is higher that has more and so I have to be careful not to not to be pursuing someone else's blessing Yeah, that's good. That's really good. And if you think about it, it's the cycle of life like going back to school You thought once you were uh eighth grade.
Yeah, i'm on the top now you gotta be impressioning again All right, cool. Then you're a senior high school now you're a freshman again And then you graduate let's say you go to grad school you're the new person in class again So It's the new you're going to your job you're the new person again is going to continue to happen And so your right contentment is the greatest gift that you can take hold of that god gives us Because in these seasons where you're going to be the new person Are you going to continue to pursue something somebody else's dream that god doesn't have for you? Or you're going to look at what you have and say i'm good where i am I love it. It's such a it's such a balancing act because then i think about the other side of like Making sure like all right.
Just anything can become idle. It's crazy Right like hard work can become idle, but then like laziness can become idle and it makes me think of like ecclesiastes That's why like ecclesiastes. I can just I can get it personally You know, there's a time for everything like and sometimes I think That can be a challenge for us when we're reading a bible and we're seeing these different sides of the coin We can be like well, how can god do this and then do that when it's really like that's kind of life It's this balancing act between all of these polarizing ideas And trying not to allow yourself to go too far over here and i'm lazy And now i'm not even doing the work that god wants me to do and i go so far over here that all i'm doing is working I've lost everything else that god wants for me But some of you say earlier reminded me of Jonah Because you talk about not getting what you want sometimes right and jona did not want to go to Nineveh Like at all to the point where he went into the opposite direction to tarshes like he went He didn't just not go where god wanted him to go. He went in the exact opposite direction Yeah, but it created all of this turmoil and it was really like it was really rooted In the fact that he didn't want that so when you when you said that we have to be okay Sometimes with the fact that god don't that shattered dreams like god don't even want that for you, bro Mm-hmm That's tough what what pointers would you have for somebody that struggle with that idea the whole idea of like, you know I want to be this and you see celebrity say like oh, there is no plan B This is my only option and it gets a point and it don't happen.
How does somebody how does somebody gain content if they're not content? This is such a boring answer seek god Talk to him continually And the reason i'm saying that is because He will speak to you If you open yourself to listening and I think the lack of rest also closes you off the listening to god Because you're doing so much. How do you have time to listen? You're listening to everything else but him and so that could be another slow start to your morning I'm going to intentionally try to listen to god and so seeking him The hope is that seeking him whoa if you if you still don't get answers because I don't know about anybody else sometimes, you know, it's silent No, you're not getting up, but you're like, all right.
Well, I was looking for an answer then get it cool That I'm just gonna keep trying to pursue what I believe you want me to do Um, but the hope is that if you don't get an answer you're resting in his presence regard I rather not I rather be uh, and I don't know anything anyway But I rather not know something and be rested in his presence Then not know something outside of his presence and unrested That is my preference personally and so seeking god. I would say that's that's the that's the advice And what that can look like tangible steps to do that obviously Praying but genuinely praying like having the conversation with him and then taking time to try to be silent to listen to him I will also say Surrounding yourself with people who remind you of god So I always reference my pop up that is that is someone who I know is going to talk about that at some point We may talk about everything else, but we're going to come back to god So sometimes god is speaking through other people that's why you have to keep those people close to you Even listening to music gospel music christian music keeping yourself just in the presence of him because you're fighting against something Often and we have to be we have to be aware that every minute of every day the enemy is going to try to implant some type of thought It is what it is. And so if that is the case do what you can to fight to fight it I get subconsciously until the conscious battle comes up because we know when the conscious one is here We know The subconscious ones are a little bit more sneaker. So that's why you do the things that you can and the things that you can do often I can pray often.
I can talk to people who know him often. I can listen to music often, but when the big battles come Yeah, we're calling um was it in in football audible? Yeah, there you go. Oh, you got a football referencing and that's what's up Um, no seeking god.
I love that because like you say like sometimes we can it sounds simple But it's really not because sometimes you can be so busy I've been guilty of that before where I'm doing everything goes and then I've gotten away From the foundational things and seeking him and giving him his time daily And I think you know part of this discussion for me And I'm hoping that people take away is like We all have things that we can work on in this area So this is not a finger-planting contest and like you're more wrong than I am or the next person is most wrong It's like always say we got to look in the mirror before we look out the window And a lot of times looking in the mirror is tough and being like, okay, I got to work on A, B, and C, but part of this life like you say like this isn't heaven So while you're here, you're gonna always have to be kind of like preventative maintenance, you know, I mean That's that like that's the approach of like doing things as best you can to prevent and keep yourself cool While also understanding that sometimes you may um, you know fall short in the area and you got to pick yourself and does your self-off and trust god and Kind of start over, but yeah, that's I don't know. This is this idea of rest. It For me just from a time in perspective It feels so fitting especially to start the year because we usually like you talked about the scales and stuff Like we usually start the year at one team hundred percent. Yep And it's like we need to slow it down like yep, especially let's be real coming out of the last, you know Few years pandemic inflation and um, I think that's why I talk about society sometimes.
There's so much stuff Like social media, you know, the news where there is just stuff being thrown at us every day And I know for me, I'm like, I have to admit like bro. I can't I can't even handle half of the stories people say every day Yeah, I'm trying to do it. I'm trying to process, you know, this agency. I'm dealing with over here this project I gotta work off work.
So, you know, um, yeah, I don't know any any this has been great So I appreciate it and before we go I do want to talk a little bit more about your blog Specifically and uh, you know, tell people about it But before we go do you have like any kind of final thought not final final But you know like thoughts of the day that you would like people to take away from this conversation and idea risk Yeah, I would say that um, we are drives of clay So that means we're being molded often and so if you look into other leaves, I believe that they're not already To patter houses that's wrong or Isaiah. It's Isaiah. Um, I Since we are We are being molded often and so you get to you get to decide how you're going to be molded in this life And so if you're just thinking of something something of clay made so Unrestfully everything everywhere. It's it's uneven.
Oh, like all this is happening But if you allow yourself to be molded by the potter if you're if you're rested on the wheel that's like what the this made on Made on this wheel thing if you allow yourself to be rested on the wheel and not combat the potter Is such an easier molding process and either way it ain't gonna be easy But it's easy here when you're allowing yourself to just let go and let that like pj more in an episode Um and so what I all I want to say is that think of your body or soul As a drive play that is being molded often you get to decide how the potter is going to mold you and the truth is He's not going to do anything without your permission because he's a gracious god He's not going to overbear you you have to allow it and so allow it like what what do you lose if you rest Hmm I like that. I'm gonna uh, let's go to a comment before we get out of here. Jen also says It feels like that's why god wants us to surrender to his wheel because his yoke is easy and his burden is light It takes a load off us. Yes.
Just keep seeking him. Love that. Thank you. Jen.
No, that's right right in the line Um, what you're saying selena so before we get out of here, you know, I'm saying if y'all like me and I have enjoyed This conversation with selena. I am gonna go. I'm gonna go to the blog real quick. You feel Okay, let's go.
We're gonna check out check out this blog This is uh taste and see good therapy dot com y'all can see that and look you can subscribe. It's a prompt But look this this is really dope. I really think people should check it out Um, you have a lot of other topics. This is these are the last three that we talked about two prompt arrests Rest and clay y so tired so read those for a little more insight, but i'm just scrolled so people could see a little bit of the Explorin.
I don't know. Oh, I might have to get you back to talk about that the time for season You see the type of topics look um from me from a personal perspective You know when I think about needing to surround myself with godly content that is relevant for my life Um, this blog is something that i'm telling you has it does that like some mornings I just you know type in and read it and a lot of times it's interesting to hear a different perspective A professional perspective, and I take things away from it So I would encourage anybody to check out taste and see good there. Yeah, keep going to yours There we go. I'm gonna say it, but I'm gonna check out this one out, you know, I'm saying that I was able to write Um, and I really loved um your feedback.
Um, you did when I was feedback on here that really blessed me So, um, thank you again for that opportunity But anything that you want to say about taste and see good therapy or where people can find and locate you Um, you know beyond this interview. Yeah, so take a secret therapy that is my blog Feel free to go in there and look through the topics this year Um Through the blog. I'm going to take a different approach and I'm going to do a lot of Um more quotes on my instagram for like a morning taste that's what I kind of want to name and kind of keep going About the faces see um, and so if you want some like daily devotional thoughts or prompts to like go throughout your day Um, you can follow me on instagram. That's why I'll be doing some of that and the blog is still going to be blogging I'm going to be writing it's not gonna be weekly, um, or yeah, it's not gonna be weekly I'm not sure might be by weekly or something like that, but um, I'm always going to be talking about a christian center perspective On mental health that's kind of what my thing is and so, um, the hope is that you find something in it That is good for you if you need a therapist hit me up.
I know people are people are people Um, and so I think that is I think that's it. Thank you so much for the opportunity. Um, you're making you are such a blessing to the christian community And I'm looking forward to what that is going to do And you while you are rested. I bet you he'll do the most while you're rested rather than when you're un-breasted So I appreciate it.
No, thank you. I appreciate it. Selena the feeling is mutual love what you're doing Um, and like, you know, I'm going to find a way to get you back on inspired guys people again These are rich conversations, you know, and we need them like we need conversations as so much craziness going on in the world I feel like as believers we should be leaders we should be leading conversations leading Trends and not following just whatever the world is talking about so that we can get a whole bunch of extra clicks and you know And be relevant from a worldly perspective. Um, and I love what you're doing in taste and see good therapy So thanks and you know I'm saying like I told you before we got on here.
Um, I'll be following up with you Um, and getting on your nerves and uh, figure out a better way to connect. So thank you so much. All right. Thank you.
All right, see All right guys people that was Selena deal from taste and see good therapy calm Uh, enjoy that conversation with Selena. It was a blessing to me. Sufficiently, you know, I'm saying I read the blog So whenever I'm a fan of something I can get the person on the podcast, you know, I'm saying I try to use this podcast for that because I know that or I think that if it's blessing me that it's blessing you so Thank you all so much for watching and y'all have an amazing amazing amazing day. All right, that was