Truth, shame, and love

John 4:16-18 He said to her, "Go, call your husband and come here.” The woman answered and said, "I have no husband." Jesus said to her, "You have correctly said, 'I have no husband’; for you have had five husbands, and the one whom you now have is not your husband; this you have said truly." At first glance, it appears that Jesus was shaming the woman. If He knew she had five husbands before telling her to call her husband, then why did He do it? In an honor/shame culture, this would have been extremely embarrassing and shameful for the woman to admit. However, if we dive in a little deeper, perhaps we can see the love behind Jesus’ exposure. Let’s remember that love seeks the highest good of someone, no matter what the cost, in the power of the Holy Spirit, for the glory of God. Love was revealed in three ways. First, giving the woman an opportunity to speak the truth, to agree with what God sees, is in her highest good. Second, security and safety is revealed when someone knows the shameful truth about another, yet still leans into the relationship. Usually, when darkness is exposed, people reject and run away. Jesus knew the pain and the cause of the pain in her life, and she would have been drawn to His compassion and mercy displayed to her. Third, the stage is set for this woman to despise the shame, that is make light of it, press through it to find this living water that Jesus offered. If one is ever to find satisfaction in Christ, he or she must despise the shame that the truth reveals, embrace it, and put themselves completely at the disposal of Jesus. In so doing, forgiveness, healing, restoration, and a new life may be experienced—in a sense, resurrection after death. That’s how Jesus overcame sin, death, the world, and the devil. He despised the shame of our shameful sins, endured the cross, and was raised to sit down at the right hand of the Father. He surrendered all to His Father, and was raised so that He could become a well of eternal life to all who will despise their shame and surrender to Him. That describes God’s love for us and our love for Him. The highest good of another person is not to tolerate or avoid the shame of sin, but to help them embrace it by speaking the truth, showing them that their sin and shame won’t drive you away, and then lean into the relationship with acceptance and love. God used Jesus’ love to draw this woman to His Son. You may have the opportunity today to love someone like that, hopefully with the same result. These verses encourage us in how to love like Jesus. I invite you to become a partner in our ministry. Would you pray about becoming a regular supporter of Elijah Ministries and the Live to Love with Jesus ministry? I hope you will receive the joy and benefit of “giving it forward,” so others may receive encouragement to turn their hearts to God and to live to love with Jesus. You may give online or send a check to the address listed at www.spiritofelijah.com/donate.