Turning 40 and resigning as the family fixer

When Elizabeth Makepeace fell for a younger, free-spirited musician, she thought she’d found the love foretold in a dream. But what began as a spiritual connection turned into a controlling, emotionally draining marriage that forced her to confront an old pattern she thought she’d outgrown: the compulsion to care for others at the cost of herself. In this deeply honest conversation, Elizabeth shares how she broke the cycle, rebuilt trust with her children, and finally found peace—not just in a partner, but within herself. If you’ve ever wondered why certain roles keep showing up in your relationships, this episode offers insight, healing, and hope.Guest Bio If you're curious about energy/magic then you need to meet Elizabeth Elenor. Her journey through her 40s was the progression of taking back her power as she left her narcissistic marriage and he started dating a 21 year old. A deep dive into personal power led her to discover the secrets of alchemy; she merged this knowledge with 25 years of being a healer to create The Ascendance Code and energetically align with her Higher Self Wisdom.Turning 40 and resigning as the family fixerElizabeth Makepeace was living a vibrant life in the tropics of Far North Queensland—raising her kids, running a successful healing practice, and feeling aligned in mind, body, and spirit. But when she met a charming, younger musician who swept her off her feet, her well-calibrated world began to shift. What started as a dream romance quickly turned into a rigid, emotionally complex marriage that echoed a painful pattern from her past: the need to care for and fix others, often at her own expense.In this candid and deeply personal episode, Elizabeth shares how a midlife unraveling—marked by loss, anxiety, and the crumbling of family trust—pushed her to finally recognize a generational caretaking pattern she’d been unconsciously replaying. Her story is one of heartbreak, healing, and ultimately, liberation. And yes—her real-life love story ends with a twist that feels straight out of a fairy tale (complete with a symbolic last name!).Episode HighlightsElizabeth’s early life as a caretaker for her ill father shaped her subconscious belief that love means caregivingHow a “dream come true” romance slowly morphed into an emotionally taxing marriage marked by control and rigidityThe moment she realized she couldn’t heal her partner—and the empowerment of walking awayRebuilding trust with her children and healing her own trauma through bodywork and reflectionThe emotional and spiritual reckoning that came with turning 40—and the clarity it broughtHer advice for listeners: examine the “movie” of your life and ask why certain characters keep showing up in the same rolesThe joyful discovery of a new, healthy relationship built on peace and mutual careElizabeth’s story is a wonderful reminder that no matter how much personal work we’ve done, there are always deeper layers waiting to be revealed. Her midlife unraveling wasn’t a failure—it was the doorway to true healing. By identifying the patterns that kept her stuck and tracing them back to their origins, she was able to finally break the cycle. And in doing so, she made peace—with her past, her pain, and eventually, with a man whose name poetically symbolized that transformation.If you enjoyed this episode, don’t forget to rate, follow and review the podcast. Your support helps more listeners discover these transformative stories.Guest ResourcesGet Elizabeth’s Love CodeConnect with Elizabeth on FacebookConnect with Elizabeth on InstagramConnect with Elizabeth on TikTokDo you have the Midlife Ick? Download Stephanie’s guide to the Ick to diagnose whether you or someone you love is suffering from this insidious midlife malaise. www.thebigfouroh.com/ick  ConnectTheBigFourOh.comTBFO on InstagramTBFO on FacebookGet the Email DigestListen, Rate & SubscribeYouTube PodcastsApple Podcasts SpotifyAmazon PodcastsSponsorThe Big Four Oh Podcast is produced and presented by Savoir Faire Marketing/Communications