Oh, it's not the last we'll be hearing of that song this week. Nope. Ladies and gentlemen, Audrey's dance. Oh, geez.
Oh, geez. Boy. Welcome to a little thing I like to call. And twins.
Peek, Seeks, the only show that changed its name most of the world. There's a King Mead production, of course, which means I'm Dan and that's Rob Rob's call. I'm fine. No, please.
I saw it. I know what I saw. And we are in the home stretch of Twin Peaks the return. Part 16.
No knock. No doorbell. Yep. All gas, no breaks.
That's right. All gas, no breaks, knock or doorbell. A lot of people, everybody, fricking everybody's waking up. Everybody's waking up, Dan.
People. But what does that really mean when we don't even know who the dreamer is? Oh, yeah, I guess. Yeah, I guess.
What does it mean to wake up? Nothing. I guess if you don't know the dreamer. Jack shit.
Well, that's it. So we imagine that's all episode. Yeah. Sure.
One that everybody wakes up. Fuck off. Yeah. You go over to the you go over to the Patreon here the second half.
It's just more of that. Dan, yeah. Everybody's waking up this week to mixed results, I think, for them. Yeah.
Yeah. Man, Tulpa's all the way down, huh? I'm telling you, Tulpa's we've got sons of doppelgangers. Yeah.
All sorts of interdimensional what have. Now, I think you might even be able to consider Richard Horn, right? A son of anarchy. Holy shit.
I think we have no choice, right? But to consider him a son of anarchy. Throw a black leather jacket and a pair of white high tops on this guy. Put him on a motorcycle.
He's a son of anarchy. I'll tell you what, Richard Horn would be looking pretty at home next to I want to say Ron Pearlman. Yeah. Okay.
That's a safe thing, right? Yeah. That's the guy who looks like a motorcycle got turned into a man. Yeah.
This week, I mean, it does feel like every one of our, you know, every story thread that we've had going on is it's all just pointing to the one all the rivers are running into the same ocean here. We're converging on the same spot, of course. That's right. And thanks for putting in terms of our riverboat captain listeners can understand.
Well, it's a, you know, you played your audience. We have a lot of riverboat captains and riverboat gamblers to listen. You know, we podcast this huge on riverboats to play it on riverboat casinos. Played over the speakers while people were playing their games.
They shut the steam whistle off for one hour or a week. Yeah. To listen. Yeah.
We can actually, we could see the, you know, the analytics of like who's listening and stuff and where they're listening and the location keeps drifting. I was going to say, it says here, we've got 90% of our plays coming from the mighty Mississippi. So speaking of gambling, yeah, a lot of business to tend to in and around Las Vegas, Nevada, which is not what I call it personally. Right.
I'm more inclined to call it lost wages because of my track record in the city. Yeah. Remember if I've mentioned that before on the outskirts or somewhere, I don't wear a double Cooper and Richard Horn. Well, I mean, they have to be, I would think they have to be close to Washington because Oh, right.
Because Jerry, Jerry, unless he anywhere, though, unless Jerry has somehow wandered off into like the, you know, further east into the South Dakota region, he may have wandered 800 miles. It's possible. I mean, enterprising man such as himself. Yeah.
Let's see. Jerry went on his, his initial walk in the episode like two and he's been just sort of roaming in the woods ever since stone. Hey, nothing. What's this guy on?
And can I get some of it? Oh, where do I get? Right. Right.
Of course I would never. Never. Yeah, with nothing to guide him, but a pair of bad, bad binoculars. Yeah.
Turns out. Yeah, the binoculars that he might be cursed or something. So on, you know, on route to some set of one of his many sets of coordinates, double Cooper's sort of a Tom Hanks has his typewriters. Double Cooper's got coordinates.
He's collecting. He's a collector. What is that called? Oh, is it?
Fuck. There's a term for when like, it's like a real life scavenger hunt for people. Geocaching. Geocaching.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. Cooper, double Cooper here seems to be geocaching. I'll tell you what, I'm not cashing anything when I'm in lost wages.
Well, that's well, yeah. But we're not. We're in the Greater Washington area, the Greater Twin Peaks region. Cashing out all of your, your bearabong.
Geowar, washington. Oh, sorry. No, no. I thought I could sneak that one in there.
Yeah. So, double Cooper is driving with his son, Richard Horn. Son slash hostage, Richard Horn. Yeah.
You know, double Cooper knows that it's his son, Richard Horn does not. But it's a nice little father son bonding moment for the two of them. Yeah. Yeah.
This is gonna, yeah, this is gonna work out really good for double Cooper. They get to a location and Richard asks what we're doing here. And double Cooper says, I received three sets of coordinates. Two of them match.
What would you do, Richard? And Richard said, I would go to the two that matched. And he's like, you're a smart boy. No, let's start walking.
And he's got this little like, I don't know, geotracker kind of a thing in his hand. Yeah. It's like a proximity sensor, but for, I guess, these specific coordinates. Yeah.
It's one of his devices. I don't know. He's got a device. And then just over the hill, who's cresting over, but Jerry Horn sees this.
He's like, oh, people. And he takes out his binoculars. And this guy's so fucking high. He looks in the wrong damn end.
He looks through one lens. Yeah. And the wrong damn end. It's funny.
Oh boy. Oh boy. But I'd like to know what it is and where it could get some. Yeah, I think, you know, he sees those he sees that his binoculars are now playing tricks on him and he is deeply disturbed by this.
But he watches as Cooper and Richard Horn, they walk towards this big boulder. And I like it. Cooper is like, yeah, I'm 25 years your senior here. All right.
I can't climb up on that rock. You climb up on the rock. That's where the coordinates are. Take this.
Once it starts beeping, that's when you know that you're there. He climbs up onto the damn rock and starts beeping. And he's like, I'm here. And then just a flash barely gets the words out before he starts sparking up like a dam, one of Jerry Horn's damn fatties.
Yes. Yes. It's lights and electricity. Yep.
It's looking like the 4th of July on that rock. You don't mind me saying. Hey, what is this? Plymouth rock where we're setting off a bunch of fireworks.
Maybe. Maybe. I'm sure they do. Maybe.
He continues to spark and electrify until he disintegrates. I do love how this looks. His body goes and then it's just his head for a second then. Yeah.
No love lost there. You know, fuck Richard Horn, of course. Of course, of course. And you know, Doppel Cooper memorializes him lovingly by saying goodbye, my son.
And then he walks away. Yeah. So when he gets back to the truck, he fires off a text to unknown, which we either be aware of the discerning viewer. We got to assume that that's what's her face.
That's her thing of the viewer. Since our attacks that it's like it's an emoticon, smiley. Yep. Now for all of our listeners out there, our 21 and under listeners who also riverboat gamblers.
Emote cons. I'm also with these young kids and riverboat gambling, right? It's coming back. It's coming back in a big, bad way.
This is the thing, Rob. Third spaces are dead. These kids, they need to put any places to congregate. The shopping mall is the thing of the past.
They're heading back to the mighty Mississippi. They're talking about Mark Twain. But in the riverboat, captaining nautical term where you're measuring the depth of a river. And that's the other thing.
They're not reading these days. It's crazy. I don't know how to feel about them. He sends it.
So he just a little colon dash clothes parenthesis, smiley face. I like including the nose. Yep. And it's smiley face all.
All. So it says in caps. Yep. Seems bad.
Yeah. That's you never want to get a smiley face from double Cooper. No, the things that make him smile, I would never smile at. No, you would have to be a sick puppy to smile at the things that's crazy.
Well, you're smiling yourself right now just thinking about it. I'm thinking about how crazy it is to smile at something like that. OK. It feels like a slippery slope.
Meanwhile, in lost wages, Nevada, you know, hutch and shunt howl are there. They're camped out. They're staking out Dougie's house waiting for him to come back. But of course, we know the Dougie is in a bit of a coma right now from sticking a fork in electrical.
Whereas I call it lost consciousness. We get some fun stuff with them. We see our Las Vegas FBI agents poking around the Dougie and Janie's house. They're like, all right.
Now you go to his office. They're trying to track him down. You stake the place out. I'm going to check out the workplace.
Lucky seven insurance. That's right. So over the hospital. Oof.
What? This was emotionally heavy. It's so emotionally heavy. We have Janie, Sonny Jim, just sitting there waiting for Dougie to come out of a coma.
Bushnell is there. He's showing support. I really love Sonny Jim. Ask's Janie.
He's like, did electricity do this? And does electricity cause comas or something like that? Janie's like, oh, no. And then Bushnell is like, well, in this case, yes.
Just at that moment, the Mitch and brothers arrived with the girls. Man, the Mitch and brothers, huh? They're good people. It turns out.
When you first saw them in this season, did you think that you would be so excited to every time that they appeared on screen? I couldn't have guessed. There's in a lesser show. There's just a couple of scumbags.
Sure. I do. I mean, later on when Cooper says, you guys have hearts of gold and then candy agrees, it's just very fun. They do show up with some catering trays of finger sandwiches and stuff.
And then Rod asks Janie for key to the house because they're going to fill up the house, too. Thanks, guys. You too. You too.
Come on. Back in South Dakota. Oh boy. Oh boy.
Oh boy. So we're with our FBI agents. The real ones, not these lost wages punks. Yeah.
Gordon Cole. Gordon, the scene of Gordon just standing in a room amongst all of the equipment and just sort of beeping and doing things and whatever and just looking over everything. Yep. It seems like a confused old man, but he's got it under control.
We have to assume. Yeah. It's also Rob, all these machines, they run on electricity. Oh boy.
Oh boy. That's the thing. It's like you never can't be like Tony's soprano going into the basement to talk by the air conditioner. It's true.
How are you getting away from electricity? It's all around us. It's all around us. We're using it right now, Dan.
We are. Yeah. Oh geez. Oh boy.
I got it. Yeah. Bert doesn't like it either. I should close the door.
If I didn't like when I closed the door either. Yeah. Don't close the door. Oh wait.
Is he in here? I don't know. Yeah, yes. Oh shit.
There he is on the bed. That's sort of a bitch snuck up on you. Yeah, he did. I shouldn't have known.
He loves his son of anarchy. He truly. Truly. So back in South Dakota here, right?
We see Diane sitting at the bar, sipping what I assume is a vodka on the right side. Well on the rocks. That's how you should know something's up with Diane, right? That she's buzzing.
It's just not a normal human drink order. Vodka rocks? Vodka rocks. You know, Dan, as somebody who has tended bar, a lot of people order vodka rocks because they don't.
I think they don't like drinking. So they get the most drinking possible? Yeah. Yeah.
They don't like the taste of spirits. So they would rather have the taste of nothing. Oh my God. At least got like a vodka soda.
Nope. There's some dignity in that. Wait. I was listening to the Sloppy Boys podcast.
And they in under booze news, which I'm sure you're familiar with, they talk about the drink. It's called it's been re-appropriated as gay water. And that gay water is vodka soda. Oh, OK.
So I guess that's off limits to a lot of people. Well, I suppose much in the same way that piercing your right ear is all. These are facts of life. Yeah.
Yeah. Next time you're at the bar and you want a vodka soda, ask for a gay water. One gay water, please. And then on the flip side of the coin, when I'm bartending and somebody asks for a vodka soda, I'll say, oh, a gay water?
No problem. And then I'll fix that up for them. Nice. Yeah.
That's like, that's doing more for LGBTQ rights than certainly like Chappell Rohn. It is. That's the. So when Alex Jones.
Yes. And then I'm going to talk about the frogs with a frog simply enjoying a vodka soda. Well, yeah. I mean, I guess, right?
Maybe those frogs when he was like, they're turning the damn frogs gay. I mean, what he forgot to mention was that they were splashing around in vodka sodas. Wow. And this just goes to show you what happens when you stop drinking Budweiser beer because the frog knows the drink Budweiser beer.
And it was a different story. I remember when frogs just drank Budweiser. And that. Back in my day, they just drank Budheavies.
All right. Serious adults, serious adults, the angriest people alive. That's what they're angry about. Man, not to spin this off even further, but you catch in any of this RNC business.
Just enough, I would say. Just enough. I saw what I needed to say. Did you?
I mean, I'm sure you must have seen whole Cogan in his speech. Yes. Oh, Terry? Yeah.
Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And his shirt opened to reveal a second shirt underneath that said Trump Vance 2024.
That's correct, Dan. Yeah, I did see that, actually. Uh-huh. Nothing really to say about it.
It's just, I mean, it is. Are you trying to not say, uh, idiocracy? No, I'm not. I have no, I have no interest in talking about idiocracy.
Good movie, but no interest in doing that. It is one of those moments when you're like, we have gone so far in the other direction as a society of unserious people that I can't, I don't even- They really treated it as like, um, like a victory party? Yeah. Yeah.
And like, not for no reason, mind you. Um, just that Trump is still alive, I suppose. Well, that Trump is still alive and there's no one running against him currently and they control the Supreme Court and- Yeah, yeah. And they have a base of militant boomers who will bring guns to Washington, D.C.
If Trump doesn't win the election. If daddy doesn't win? Yeah, if daddy doesn't win. Yeah.
Yeah. The frogs they're supposed to drink beer crowd will be mobilizing. Oh man. Um, very, I don't even know what I'm rooting for anymore.
I think it's just the end of the world that I'm rooting for. Yeah. Just a swift death. Give me, give me the Richard Horan special, please.
Please, please. Give me that. Yeah, I gotta tell you this, uh, the way things are coming. Every election, I mean, this now being like, uh, the third of a, of a series of, uh, increasingly dumb elections that we've had, maybe more, but this, the last, the last two were especially dumb.
And this one really is, it's just pulling out all the time. It is, it is like the third in a trilogy where you're like, we have to keep ramping things up. Things have to get increasingly more, uh, you know, uh, crazy and interesting in quotations. And now, uh, now we'll go again to speaking at the dam R and C and fucking, uh, Biden's getting the weekend at Bernie's treatment.
Yeah, full on weekend at Bernie's. As of this recording, when's this come out in like two weeks? Uh, I think in a, uh, yeah, maybe, I don't know. Yeah, I think that's worth noting because by the time this comes out, there's everything could be different.
Probably going to be a different democratic nominee. That's my suspicion. Who could it be though, Dan? I mean, we're only, we're only a simple riverboat podcaster here, but, uh, well, the smart money, uh, at the, at the betting, at the bookie is, uh, probably on old, uh, coconut tree herself.
Right? A coconut tree? Oh, uh, Kamala. Kamala.
And I think that's her. The whole thing. Um, I did. Anybody heard from Kamala over the past four years?
Oh, yeah. They got her doing, they got her, uh, you know, when like, uh, when a baseball player is coming back from an injury, they'll have him play in the minor leagues for a few games. Yeah. Yeah.
Rapsen. Yes. They have her doing speeches, denouncing 20, a project 2025. Oh, good.
Yeah, she's, uh, she's in the weight room. She's getting ready. She's warming up. Yep.
They've cut back on the, on the zannies and she seems pretty sharp. So we'll see. We'll see where we're at when this episode drops. And we kept her fucking like lubed up on zannies for the past four years.
Yeah. You were loose. Yeah. No, we can't have you getting too stressed out.
Yeah. Yeah. And then, yeah, let's, all right. We're going to lower that.
We're going to bump this up and then here we go. Yep. Yep. Oh, oh, speaking of receiving medical care back at the hospital and lost wages, uh, Janie and Sunny Jim, they leave the room.
So Mullins is there with Cooper. And it's at that moment that someone from the insurance agency calls old, emotional. And we learned that the FBI is looking for Dougie now. Right.
He learns. He learns. We knew. He learns.
We knew this. Yeah. He's, he's sort of the last jabroni to figure it out. Yeah.
Um, he, but you know, is, uh, and he's, he's pretty surprised by this, I think. What the hell is the FBI involved in now? Like what do you, what are you up to? Like all of this, like the, the, uh, sheriff's apartment they wanted, uh, uh, to talk to Dougie, his car exploded, all of this stuff, like a Dougie action.
A lot of Dougie acts big. 10 days for Dougie. All the while he has forgotten basically how to speak. Yeah.
Um, back at a, at Dougie's house, um, like I said, hutch and shuntal, they're staking the thing out. Um, then we see, um, we see like an SUV that's the FBI agents there, also staking it out. And then, uh, who, who drives up, but an accountant and he's very angry that he was trying to count and yeah, and hutch's van is blocking his driveway. And he asked them to move and they tell them to go fuck himself.
Shuntal isn't especially, uh, in a bad mood because they're on the last bag of chips. Hutch asks, are you on your period? And she says, so what if I am? Okay.
So after telling him to fuck off this account, he says, I'll move, I'll move your car. Yeah. Says it like, don't worry. I'll take care of everything.
Gets in his Mercedes, his white Mercedes with his, uh, insurance company logo painted on the door and just proceeds to ram their van head on to try to move it. Right. The tires are spinning out. Um, and shuntal grabs a gun and, uh, and shoots at him.
Yep. Then he grabs a gun. Yeah. He goes into his truck and grabs like one of the, what did you call it, a submachine gun?
Yeah. It's like a, like a whole hand, like a one handed, uh, machine gun, like an oozy style. One of those. Yeah.
Where like the clip is longer than the handle. That totally. Yeah. Yeah.
Looks pretty cool. Um, shoots, shuntal wings are, um, fucker winged me. Yes. And, uh, so, uh, they started trying to drive away and they get down the road, but we're dealing with like, we're dealing with the accountant.
We're dealing with the accountant, arguably. Yeah. The accountant. And we, we're, I was going to say we're dealing with like actual bullet physics where like, they just go right through the van and, and just make Swiss cheese of hush and shuntal.
Yeah. Just kill them real good. Um, uh, they, they die, the van sort of like rolls off the road. The FBI agents, uh, decide that now is the time to jump out and do something.
Um, I like that bit. They tell the guy to put the gun down, et cetera. Meanwhile, the, this whole time the Mitchums are loading up the Jones residents with, uh, with vittles. Yes.
And they're just commotion and peek their heads out. One of them's got a gun. They both have guns. No, they both have guns and, uh, ultimately decide they're like, this has nothing to do with us.
Sort of in like a, a Bronson Pinchot, true romance way. They're like, let's just get the girls and get out of here. Yeah. Um, I like, uh, I think Brad is like, what kind of neighborhood is this?
And Rod is like, people under a lot of stress. Uh, stress, Brad. Um, oh my God, I think, I think Rod has like the best line of the series in a little bit. First of all, when they get to the, uh, the hospital, he does also conclude that electricity did this.
Yes. Yes. Um, but then later when Cooper wakes up, spoiler, Cooper's back. Yeah.
Um, his line about what happened, uh, where he's just like side effects. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Side effects.
Oh, side effects. Yeah. Yeah. That was very good.
Speaking of which, I think now is a good time for a break. Dan, you think? Yeah. I do.
I'm doing it. I'm taking a break. I guess when we get back, Cooper will be back. Oh shit.
I guess when we get back, the situation with Diane quote unquote comes to a head and we find out what happened with doppelcooper on that fateful night. The last time they saw each other. Yeah. So if you want to hear more about that, head on over to patreon.com slash can be pod and sign up for the $5 month tier.
Yes. It couldn't be easier. Yeah. It's so easy to do.
You get a week free. It's very casual. All right. You test it out.
If you don't like it, hey, no obligation. But if you do like it, we'll just stick around for a little bit. We'll listen to us. Gabb.
Pull up a chair. Like Dan said, we just, we just did true romance. I think that was last week. So yeah, check it out guys on our bonus show, patreon.com slash kingypod would be right back.