Okay, you might need to adjust your microphone. You have to speak into it Rules of pot and don't banger Oh Okay So what did you think podcast Do we have a lot of fans out there that are depending on another great episode? Don't look don't claim it see yeah, that comes across in the mic I learned that last week thanks to you so you want to put it down? No, but I mean if you wouldn't If we wouldn't have been here doing it if we wouldn't have been here doing I don't even like you now now you just did it look Okay, so now we're recording for real.
Oh great. Oh, yeah, it does work. Yeah, it does work bad They didn't hear me scolding you for being sick last night. Yeah, I was I was sick.
Thank you for let down Thank you for you know trying to take care of me and whatever I would have powered through I would have powered through to accept my voice was seriously destroyed and I got really really bad. What else do yep? Yep, so what I would have taken sick leave had I had a job to take Wrong anyway, so We need a revisit last week. Well, we left our welcome everyone to the second episode of UCM jag and I'm Josh and I'm Sarah and saving the show again and We are here to review You are absolutely terrible dude.
I was gonna tell everybody about how we needed to go back to last week Okay, remember we owe them an answer about the carrier landings we do so I just wanted to say that I work with a Navy guy I work with a lot of Navy and one of them. So hold on hold on well Well, send it up. So what was the big cliffhanger from last week? Well last week if you'll recall my good for actually two weeks ago Since you were sick last week and couldn't make the show We're talking about carrier landings.
We're talking about what cable is the appropriate cable to catch? Oh, yes I do we call you remember I said the third cable. I think you said the first if I remember I know no I'm pretty sure no I'm pretty sure so once again I prove right because in discussions with my fellow co-worker an 06 who happens to fly Hornets off carriers. He said yeah, you always want to try to get number three.
So right? I am I don't know how that happens wow wow wow So most of you may not know this but Sarah's actually part of the Air Force and I forgot what the first core value is First I think is kind of how they put it well. Yeah, okay. I'll go into with that.
So speaking of windows I meant third cable. I may have said first I maybe did but I meant third okay you meant third Even though you said first, okay Properly adjust that microphone. Yes, really I could have adjusted my own. No, I was just trying to help you out.
All right, okay. All right, okay So This is the second episode in the series. Yes, I like I like the submarine episodes in JAG they tend to have quite a few of them But this one It was a little painful We lost a character lieutenant Pike so in addition to well you say I like she died well I mean, it's it's not really that tragic We lost a Rudy you know who did die and then we lost Pike who will see again in a few seasons down the road here She comes back she does come back. She does she does but in her place this time we get lieutenant Austin JG Meg Austin from Texas Of course, I mean her name's Austin.
She has to be from Texas Yeah, and so this episode is called shadow and I open up my esteemed complete series collectors We just talk about this for a minute. We need to talk about this And I just have the mic so I came downstairs tonight We we podcast from my brother's basement in his music room the studio We remember otherwise known as the studio you'll recall that last week we were talking about this magnificent box set folks I purchased the box set for my brother because I thought it was the best birthday Don't ever it's absolutely gorgeous this box set is amazing. Remember the one with the hidden coin You said you bought it for us quote unquote not okay. Well even still if I bought it for us I would have taken care of it All right, so I come down to the basement and what befalls my eyes But the box set with the rank broken off of it in pieces It's not in pieces the rank is in one piece and Completely separated from the box was you bought this thing like a ten years ago No, and the glue dried out and it so when I tried to open it I popped off the thing and the brain came right off this is you and the enclosed book that's a collector's edition book is Split open you can imagine what the roof of a house looks like it's split open across the top of the box I feel like everything else down here I just need to tell the listeners because I obviously can't see what this room looks like but we're in a sort of a music room and everything is pristine pristine records all taking care of in their little plastic Sheathing all the pictures are well hung and framed evenly across the wall the guitars are lying all symmetrically And then and then there's the jag box torn apart the book split open.
You just feel like you just don't care Most people would just call it open because that's what it is. I would call it. It's split. No splits Okay, so but let's let's speaking of the manual good good transition Sarah must compliment you there So this episode is called shadow and the summary according to the special edition insider's manual is a disc Ground told software developer on a submarine pulls the Navy hostage when they release a torpedo that only he can control Harm is called in and meets his new partner lieutenant Meg Austin So last episode we basically learned the pitfalls of weightlifting contest This episode we find out what happens when basically comic book guy takes over an attack submarine, right?
That's basically what it came down to in my mind. Yeah, no, it did it did We should tell the listeners that this episode took place in the Bermuda triangle I was only hoping the episode would get lost there because it was terrible I was really hoping after the first episode pilot. I gave it its fair do but this one didn't get any Well, I mean it you're right. It was had some serious weak spots, but nonetheless we are here You know as saw work reviewers of this series, so let's go ahead and start by I don't know Can you start to start so it starts out under the water?
Well, we said we were in the Bermuda triangle so we're somewhere in the Caribbean and the seas seemed awfully rough for the Caribbean But that's neither here nor there it starts off with a view of the submarine from the outside of the submarine So it silently passes by the viewer and then you get an inside view of the con where the captain is we actually never get the captain's name I'm gonna call him a nice shout out there. Yeah Sartre to anyway, we never get the captain's name It was played by Rex Lynn if you look him up he's been in a lot of stuff and he comes back in jag later Does he really look like a katie guy and he is somewhat pivotal to harm finding out what all happened to his dad later on down the road I don't like if I could say it again for the second podcast in a row I don't like that you've seen all these it's almost like spoiler alert to me. No, it's just it's a totally different character It's just it's just a foot note if you will so imagine a number one by this guy's head or something and you look down at the bottom Screen number one says this guy knows back later. There you go.
Okay. Well in this episode It's so we're on the con and the captain is smoking this 54 foot long stogie I don't know when they could do that in the Navy apparently they could do that in the mid 90s in the Navy Yeah, I don't know it seemed wrong to me But anyway, he seemed to be enjoying himself. They're in the middle of some sort of an exercise It appears that they are trying to they've got a drone ship out there or maybe there were people on it It really doesn't matter, but it's a navy ship. They see it in the little drop down Let me hang my hands over what he called that thing periscope periscope.
He sees it through the Paris well Good good good recall there Anyway, and so they fire torpedoes and the whole idea is that they've got this computer geek gadgety guy Dirk Grover mr. Grover is his name and the gadgety guys on the bridge the captains like all right Let's go through the firing sequence They fire the torpedo the torpedo goes in a test now and the whole idea is that the torpedo can you can almost call back The torpedo if you want to you know what I mean like if you if you fire it and you decide that was a bad target I really didn't mean to shoot it you can actually recall the torpedo and doesn't recall back into the torpedo bay But it will float around in the ocean or loiter in the ocean until you give it another target or you self-destruct it so the target starts closing in on this drone ship and The captain says okay, you know stop it at 500 yards or whatever the little computer geek guy mr. Grover then stops it and It looks to be a success. However instead of self-detinating Exploding the torpedo this mr.
Grover guy takes the torpedo down and it seems to be kind of on the run and mr. Grover says Hey, if you guys don't pay me, I think we should call him Dirk Well, his name is Dirk. Yeah, I think I see you should call him now mr. Grover.
Well, I don't like Dirk. It reminds me of Dirk Diggler Yeah, exactly anyway, well, I don't be reminded of that carry on all right So anyway, we've got this rogue torpedo out there and the captain and the crew were like what the hell's going on? Why don't we and mr. Grover a k-dirk says I'm not gonna The torpedoes live and I'm gonna take out a cruise ship.
We're in the Caribbean and take out a cruise ship unless you guys give me 40 million dollars So he's like dr. Evil as well a couple years before dr. Evil. He is a little bit he's a little bit So technical note here the subshots remember last episode a lot of the aerial combat footage was from Top Gun Are you gonna bring up red October?
Yes, I knew you were gonna bring up red I was gonna do it in my notes Oh, well, so folks we got to take a time out what you have here is you have For the more astute observer of this particular piece of cinematography You have different submarines that they're actually using the ones that they dropped into which I know you'll get here in a bit when Harman Meg get on to the actual submarine right and the underwater shots It's actually a different summary and you can tell because the top part which I think they call it the sale is different and It's the one is that the shorter stubby one. Yeah, yeah, and then at the end yeah Doing the Ramsey thing. Yeah, yeah one thing only yeah Practicing all day one ping one ping So so yeah, so got top gun now we got red October and so well red October was far better than this I don't know way better than this episode. So what are you gonna do?
I guess you got to call a lawyer right I Would have been my first thing to do yeah, so they do they absolutely do well harm is running in a park in DC He's got a white beater on and this horrible like squared off maybe hat Yeah, and he's running all sweaty through the park and he's pretty good though as you think so well Yeah, I mean very tone I mean, yeah, you know, it's nice other than his fashion So he stops to get a drink after he's running and who is the past by him? President Clinton yes, and it was really the real bill quinton Yeah, he was there for this but I mean, he was in the episode Yeah, I mean they filmed it they had asked the president can you come and be on this ridiculous show and the president actually must have said yes Because he was there yeah, okay, we can go with that Well, I didn't seem like they took the clip from real-life footage. It seemed like the president was really there. No, okay So anyway, he was there Well, I know you weren't a big bill Clinton fan but nonetheless I'm being on a TV show they understand as you'll see later on in this season I think the next is well Clinton got in her cut into quite a few different scenes in jag But I don't think he was actually credited as no, but he should have been for this one anyway He comes running by with his little secret service group and all of a sudden there comes a hilo dropping down into the park And you think as any astute observer would that the helicopter is coming out of pick up the president But it's not so secret service guy in his 1985 Sweatsuit tracksuit comes running out to the hilo he doesn't have any headset or on or anything But the aircrew says they point and whatever in the secret service guy points But he doesn't point to the president he points to yes harm and grab so harms like well, you know I guess damn I don't get to pack bags again I go on the hilo.
I wonder what they want for me. Nobody on the hilo has a headset. No, but they can all hear each other It was a quiet person It was so cheesy and that's really where the episode lost me that part that part because I just thought this is just going down the same Corny hole. Yeah, well it lost me when they get on board They start convincing and turn around lieutenant Austin who starts giving him a bunch of crap right from the get-go You know jokingly and all that like they don't mind the fun little banter, but the banter is so contrived Oh, but so I agree with you that helicopter scene is just cheesy and who's on the helicopter But that creepy little lawyer guy from the first episode Yeah, they haven't written him out the little wiry glasses guy who's wearing his hard like wheel cap Yeah, I don't know but I don't know but I wouldn't wear that but he's wearing it I can't remember.
No, I think it was in his khakis at least he wasn't in service whites So we are growing as a show here anyway He's on there and then suddenly turning around is this blonde. I Don't know did you think she was cute. I don't really feel like I was a little hard on women in the last Cute she's fine. Okay, well she's she's there old Meg and she's donning her orange Survivor suit harm is still in his wife beater and shorts from his run and he's like who are you and why are we on this helicopter?
Why did you pick me up in the park? What's going on? And they learn about this rogue submarine and all of a sudden she says well I'm your new partner and harm is taking it back because his partner is really was a captain pike I want to say captain pike one for you Controls Right Sorry they do their thing they end up getting the mission brief and whatever right so they have so really what he learns is that They're actually en route now from Washington DC to the Caribbean to this submarine that's out there in the helicopter And so arms like one dress for this well Yeah, we got this orange suit for you too buddy So he puts on the orange suit and what's funny is this is where it draws parallels to red October So they got a lower Lieutenant Austin down into the sub so she's from a helicopter into the sub now there last time I checked these he-lows actually had a crew and there was somebody in charge of the whole What do you call that the cable thing that lowers people sure? Oh, no not this time now harm is gonna do it Himself stop making a video for that I was trying to remember I had an arm signal Well anyway, so stop cuz now I'm just anyway So harm is running the the cable control system and he's trying to lower down this lieutenant Austin And she's like hey, she's flailing about the weather has turned terrible it's a dark and stormy Daniels afternoon and She gets lowered down, but she misses the mark.
She just can't hit the target and so Herms like I've had enough I'm bringing you back up and she's she's not gonna have it So she disconnects herself from the cable the touch and falls into the ocean around this submarine Ocean around this submarine so the guys on the submarine that are kind of the catch crew are just rolling their eyes the captain among them It's just like these people are idiots so then harm is like well I can't I must save her so he without any regard to himself jumps out of the hilo and lands in the water to save her And this captain is is just so captain of the south Something tells me if there's standard operating procedure for how that's supposed to work that They follow it. Oh, and what was really funny is now you have two sailors in the water and the helicopter just returns to base man Yeah, they're done. They're like alright. Well, he's out you didn't need my help with the cable Yeah, so you obviously don't need me to rescue you either So that's up to the sub crew at any rate they they get these two on board They look like a bunch of drowned rats the captain sees them straight away Says get these men and women and ways a woman on my side by the way and harm says well She's my partner and everybody kind of looks at that like okay Well lucky you and put these put some dry clothes on get some coffee and meet me on the con the captain in this Episode was not one to be messed with really didn't think I don't know I got a different impression I thought if we were just to use the first episode as a comparison that the crew the leadership on the sub was way more Concool and collected certain the carrier aircrew guys were I don't know if that's a reflection of how things might actually be in the Navy because some readers are a different breed well They're very different but to me they were very much nothing seemed to face them even this whole incident going on didn't seem to make I mean there was like no emotion associated with any of this other than the guys just like well I guess my career is posed because you know We launched this tour You know from well he was thrilled to have lawyers on board though well until they said until until it ended Austin said You know I think captain you might have it a complex like there this this crazy guy who's now locked up in the captain's cabin Because we couldn't know that's where he demanded he demanded to be locked up I didn't have that in my notes well well we won't comment on your notes, but he Yeah, he'd be in the captain's yes really well So so this guy is in the brig aka captain's quarters drinking Kool-Aid and eating pizza pizza and Harms trying to get a sit rep from the captain and the in the XO and trying to figure out what the heck's going on anyway They know that this guy what do we say is dirt They know that he's got this this torpedo out there and it's gonna go after a cruise ship and the cruise ship has I think 2000 Crew ship first of all cruise ship does not hold 3000 people who knows look it up I'm not gonna because I know it's not true Just like you knew about the carrier landing sequence Josh I thought it made perfect sense that it's plain would try to catch the first cable as opposed to trying to catch the third or fifth Okay, fine carry on carry on Well anyway, we should say by the way that the name of the submarine is the tiger shark the name of the torpedo is the shadow Yes, also the name of the episode so okay.
I had to say the funny thing I just thought you're in my notes the funny thing about the this part of the episode was that they're talking about harm goes down to see Dirk harm and lieutenant Austin they go down to see Dirk and Dirk's just a total smart ass and just a jerk you will call me sir. He says you will call me sir or you will call me Mr. I think he said mister Grover anyway, so harm and old girl they whatever they call him sir That's kind of funny and so Dirk makes this comment about how they've sailed in the harm's way I'm not just not that funny as freakin line harm's way get it because it seriously Yes, yes, I know that just amigos to the the writing here was was a little bit poor to say the least and the dialogue was Was lacking but okay, I mean one of my favorite lines cutting to the end of the episode. No, please don't yeah Well, you brought up your favorite line.
Why can't I bring it? I'll bring it up. I'll remember my favorite line at the end of the episode we brought it up now fine Okay, so my favorite line was when I finally got him sort of you know at the end and Meg's she says something like not a chance jerk Just like yeah Better lines and I actually made notes of all of them well There was a really good line from harm which leaves us all kind of wondering about them a bit, but okay go ahead Well, so I don't now. I'm wondering what that line is.
I don't know if I wrote that one down Yeah, it's the best one about about the girlfriend. No no the best line in the whole show Let's see Yeah, I broke one and they wouldn't give me another one. No just continue on She's dude. This is what happens when you try to take us out of order We're in sequentially order on the show and you're like let me tell you about the last quote in the show that I thought was so funny But it was it wasn't funny.
It was not there. I didn't say it was funny. I just said it was my favorite line because it was so bad Anyways, so of course it's your favorite line. Yes, it was so bad.
It sticks out You know what fine we forgot to mention to that old lieutenant Austin young she might be cute She might be very cute. She might come back and Further episodes of the show, but she has a problem with claustrophobia and it affects her from the moment she gets on the sub So I think that's important. She's we slowly see her fraying at the seams in this episode. Yeah, so by the end She's just she's crazy kind of a wreck.
She really is so let me see so we start to see her freak out Harm and lieutenant Austin are talking to Dirk in his quarters and Dirk is like, you know I have control of this torpedo so from my laptop which I don't have to plug in this entire episode Yeah, the battery will never die and the laptop is like the size of one of those brick blocks College, you know, they didn't even have those invented do they didn't have those inventing I think this is like this is like apples version one of a laptop. Well, anyway He's so he needs to assert his control over not just the torpedo But his ability to also influence activities on the submarine so he sets off an explosive device in the forward one of the forward Bayes of the not the forward Bay That's the money, but you're trying to make a funny correlation to another movie Wow, anyway, he sets it off. It's in like a forward bay escape hatch kind of thing It's in a bottom line is it's in a place on the submarine where if there's an explosion you can quickly remedy the situation There's all kinds of nobody's gonna die The crew's got it taken care of so he explodes this thing and Floods a compartment, but no worries nobody was in the compartment Nobody dies everything's fine But it does show that this guy has power over the submarine he could potentially sink it if he wants to arms trying to figure that Peace out because obviously if you're if you're willing to sink the submarine or willing to die That's always the worst kind of enemy to try to fight so they really got this is a pickle. This is a pickle So eventually a conundrum Well, maybe Maybe anyway, so once the explosion occurs in the forward compartment and even though nobody dies There's clearly no quick solution on this problem set and so President Clinton agrees to pay the 40 million dollars and get this guy to Cuba where this guy can build his dream home and live out his life So I think it's important here to talk about Why he was disgruntled in the first place?
Believe it or not. He worked for the government before yes He worked for the government and he apparently invented this amazing computer program that you type it in It prints out in Japanese. Yes, no some kind of a translation for some reason back then this was worth millions and millions of dollars Although it doesn't really sound like too much of a big deal today, but I have an interesting story I mean, it's not that interesting. No, no, no, this is good This is good.
So when I was sick and you know for the last two weeks I was thinking I might need to bring up you know Someone for last rights or something at the time But I was binge watching a breaking dad because I was like you know I know I'm a little bit behind here, but Like five or six years on this but I was watching the show in one of the early episodes Mr. White is teaching his chemistry class and and he's like hey There was this dude in GE named dr. Tracy Hall and dr. Hall apparently this is all real invented pass invented We are losing the only Just now because they're like good god.
He's speaking The geniuses don't want talking now so so dr. Hall invented the first and only well the first process where you had reproducible synthetic Diamonds diamonds and he did this while he was working for GE and all this stuff is used in industry computers everything today worth millions millions of dollars and GE gave him a ten dollar savings note in addition to his regular paycheck That's all he got for that invention So it does happen not only in the government put in somebody like as well But I don't recall dr. Hall taking over an attack submarine and trying to sink a cruise ship as a result of being disgruntled But anyway interesting correlation, right? I'm sorry.
What are you talking? I fell asleep like four minutes ago and missed that entire This was good material terrible I mean just do my podcast myself. It just so happened It just so happened that I was I was I was writhing in pain and suffering and this episode of Breaking Bad What just happened to correlate with this with this episode about the shadow and the sea wolf or the tiger shark or What I was talking about because we were talking about she wolf in the last episode Yeah, the tiger shark the sea wolf whatever that oh no they are on the tiger shark. Yeah.
Well, what the heck did I get sea wolf? Well, I don't know it is something anyway, so perfect perfect The plan is something yeah, so okay, so carry on can we just have a transition? Okay transition back to whatever? You were talking about well, I don't really know where we were now Oh, yeah So we were talking about how this guy used to work for the government Yeah, yeah, and he invented this great translation program, which is like Google 1.0 and he apparently could have made millions But he never got any sort of money from it He obviously couldn't sell it because he worked for the government So he's highly disgruntled about it.
Don't you dare take my drink? I didn't I saw you eyeballing it because your glasses empty Don't you dare I would not do that. I would not do that. I I'm offended that you would actually you were thinking about it I saw you eyeballing it.
She's I'm gonna move it a little closer myself There you go. I told you nothing I didn't mean to clank it. I didn't clank it. I didn't clank it.
You cliked it He said stand doing this I can't even tell the story about the episode without getting briefed about where my cup is and as because you're clanking it People hear that I didn't clank it wasn't me stop I bought this equipment anyway, I'm gonna clank my glass. I'm gonna clank my glass. You didn't buy anything here You didn't buy any of this stuff. I bought what you're drinking Well and the glass.
Oh, well looks like an expensive glass. Let me tell you hundreds of dollars on the glass folks Jimmy freak out. Now your phone's going off. Well, I got fans out there.
It's only we were live Sounds like a disaster's occurring, but I'm just gonna avoid that text. So anyway Shadow was launched 12 hours ago max speed for 12 hours Oh, so this is the thing folks that we got to find this missing torpedo right and there's all these ships out there and all and so the Ronald no no no the Roosevelt strike group is in the area Thank God for the carrier strike group and they've got sub hunters and torpedo hunters assigned to the Roosevelt Alas, there are so many ships in the Caribbean. There's no way to know which ship this guy Dirk has targeted with his torpedo There's no way to know and so harm brilliantly on the bridge is like What's the max speed for 12 hours of this thing and if we can eliminate any targets? Can we just give a scientific explanation and just say they used a little The ductive reasoning to kind of figure out how far the thing might have gone and so now Yeah, some people listen to this podcast because they like the science behind what makes things work The fact that you don't like it really isn't relevant.
I do like it. I just what you don't just told me can we just move on? They got it from the up-it's mode Fine they may not if you don't let me go into these details then one the podcast is extremely boring to it leaves listeners wondering How they minimize the search I just said deductive just a little bit of logic. It's not that hard And the captain's like well, I didn't think of that well, then it's hard isn't it because he's a captain No, he's probably thought of that Alright fine So harm says while they while they're trying to deductively reason their way out of finding this random torpedo that's lost somewhere Harm says hey Meg.
I think you should go flirt with Dirk to which she's like I really don't want to but okay fine So she goes down to his quarters. He had kind of been flirting with her before and she says I had a lot to play a computer game on your laptop She's loved to play more more than that. I think but he says he says are you playing me a fool? I'm not gonna let you near my laptop and she starts freaking out whenever little claustrophobic episodes and I think that's legitimate.
I don't think that's anything that's made light of on this broadcast that goes out to millions of listeners That's a very serious thing. I mean I don't know Anyways, okay, so anyway, so she starts flirting with him. Well, I don't even know if it was flirting It really wasn't she was trying to get into care about Well, I think he already did no I mean care about her in terms of like being concerned trying to help her get through these little Episodes that she was having I think that was the whole goal To get her to trust it get a stabs a little trust it worked because he she's like please Please just let me play a computer game on your laptop Just anything to keep my mind off of this claustrophobia that I'm feeling I thought we just talked about This serious question you do an impression of her. I don't I you can't do impressions.
No, I can't Another reason why I get paid to do the podcast myself I don't get paid to do the impressions. This impressions are your part of the episode other than the John Connery one Which I clearly pulled off with to this It was okay. It was okay. I wouldn't say it was okay.
It was okay. Anyway, he falls for it And he says okay, okay fine. I don't see any harm and you playing a game harm I don't see any harm and you playing a computer game so fine, so she gets access to his laptop she sees certain things she leaves she goes to the bridge or the con or whatever the heck they call this thing and She is trying to figure out how to disarm this this torpedo and she's going through this guy's laptop up on the con and she says And Harms looking over your shoulder and she says you know this guy Dirk. He's actually quite a talented little guy Oh, yeah, she does say that.
She says that. She says that. Well, why you all? You said harm said that.
I was just trying to harm said that. I said for the record your honor. No, you said harm said that Why would harm say that? I don't know.
harm doesn't even like this guy's not gonna compliment him on anything Anyway, she's looking at the laptop and she's like, you know, this guy's actually really talented I mean, he's funny that those things that come up here on his laptop that are really quite humorous and they're actually not vulgar as most Computer sort of hacker people. Well, that's a gross stereo. Well, that's what she said. That's what she said not what I said So harm's like well Meg what usually comes up when you look through people's computer And she kind of gives him that sweet little, you know, flirty look and I just I don't like that part of the show I think done this twice now in the first episode and again in the next one and it's just this flirtatious sort of unprofessional behavior from two Navy officers and I don't appreciate it.
I don't think it reflects real life. So Really? Are you not gonna say? That's interesting.
Well, well So so the scipper says you know what regardless of whether or not you can disarm the torpedo Which I hope you guys can but at the end of the day Otis has agreed to pay this money We're gonna take this guy to Cuba We're gonna complete our mission and harm says well, no, we need to disarm this torpedo and this guy needs to go to freakin jail So yeah, and we are this close to cracking the code even though Lieutenant Austin has no idea how to crack this guy Oh, she knows how to do it. She just doesn't have enough. Well, she says as she's looking through the laptop She says, you know, this guy's got all kinds of programs that look like they'd be important and look like they would be relevant But they're not and she says and I quote I found a program that looks good But does nothing and harm says I know a woman like that Funny We gotta lose torpedo out here folks from Germany That's gonna get some you know, it's from German they said it in the episode what from Germany Yeah, transporting civilians and sauerkraut they said it on the thing I don't I write these nice things to do kind of make it up. So anyway, dude So this is where again, it goes off the rails for me because you have the president says this is what we're gonna do and you know The president was gonna give in and harm basically was like no no sir.
We're not gonna do it. We're gonna go ahead and just Gamble that we can figure this all out before the torpedo Even the captain of the submarine is like dude You're telling me to disobey a direct order from the president of the United States and harm says sir I'm telling you to use the initiative initiative that the Navy is so famous so famous for it I think he said Submariners. Yeah, because he wanted to make it personal to that captain. Yeah, I think you're right I think you're right initiative.
Yes, yes, yes, so use the initiative a lawyer ignoring the captain to directly violate the orders President Has to say So the captain says well, all right, then let's go kill this torpedo so old girl lieutenant Austin She's kind of haggard. No, heres a mess Clostrophobia BS I didn't like her again. This is and apparently not one no because she doesn't last in jag This is just like captain Pike no not lieutenant Pike. Sorry one for you.
It's too for now. It's clearly a no She made it through the season and and the thing is this girl does yeah She's his partner. Oh, yeah, I hope you enjoy it. I didn't really like her.
Do they sleep together? Not that I recall no no harm is above board please. I don't know like See I'm doing a one night stand no, maybe I got the looks for Grief dude, you're pushing me through this episode so fast. It's not what we really need to dwell on well I just feel like you're rushing me and there's there's a lot of things if you rush me I'm gonna forget things and then we're gonna then it's gonna end and god forbid we I don't know detail such as how they put their minds together for the radius of the Nevermind actually that was really pertinent to the entire episode and you made me skip over it Well now the listeners are like well, how the hell did they even figure out which ship these guys were going after sure the listeners are just confused Well pins and needles I would be needles and pins anyway off we go Pins and needles why are you being such an ass tonight?
I'm trying to get through this episode with clarity brevity style hilarity and you're over there being a total douchebag. No, I don't know why is it because you're still sick I'm a little sick still. I'm I'm geez you seem perfectly fine to me. Look at you cross I'm perfectly fine gonna try to steal my check Daniel leave it.
No, I would never I would never how dare you how dare you bring that up Josh, okay, geez you're incorrigible sometimes all right, so here we are again for the 11th hour of this dog on torpedoes missing So she cracks the code lieutenant Austin she cracks the code and the torpedo veers away No, she doesn't Two hours ago. Don't tell me what she doesn't know okay. Go ahead Misinformed I'm not misinforming them. I am telling them as it went.
I'm going through my script and my notes Okay, well, why don't you tell us what you don't know about means? How long's it been a while? Yeah, it's been a while. So go ahead So don't listen to the girl who just watched this two hours ago Okay, after having to watch it twice because I thought we're gonna do this podcast last weekend you sissy out on me I got sick I don't buy it.
No, anyway So she figures out how to how to move this up. It's it's or this torpedo. It's no longer a threat to the cruise ship But alas the torpedo is now coming straight at the submarine On a direct course for the tiger shark. Yeah, imagine that so the tiger shark crew swiftly goes into action evasive maneuvers the captain says This annoying little horn it's called a clackson well Like Appreciate your technical inputs into this podcast a clackson.
Yes, anyway, okay The thing goes off. It's really annoying and even the captain says shut that damn thing off Well, he calls it a horn then so it's a horn or a clackson. It's just fine. So he says shut it off So they shut it off, but and evasive maneuvers evasive maneuvers, sir I love how on submarines you have to have 18 people repeat one command.
That's not just that though That's the one thing. Okay, so remember I will digress a bit So next time you talk to your your navy pals. Well, I have a question and it's not really submarine because I you know I don't know any some air. Well, no the regular guys the surface guys Oh, this was ask him ask him ask him why the captain says something and then the dude three feet away from the captain says the exact same Something and then the dude two feet away from that guy repeats the same thing like okay after other hopes or It sounds like a garden to repeat it like five times and everyone's right there It's not like they got you know music in the background and video games I mean they really need to repeat it like 50 times That's the one thing so I anyway Any clarification on that for the next episode for me like why they have to do it that way?
It'd be great because I kind of well it is a nuclear submarine. I think you know I'm not sure again surface even on the the surface ships On the bridge. They're always like everyone has to repeat something. Well, I'm sure there's good reason for it I just I'm not quite tracking on it because I mean I could clearly hear it But apparently it's got to go down the chain of command then back Up the chain of command before it's understood and received and whatever.
I don't know either But that's a good point. I will ask I will ask that at work. Okay. Yeah and report report back to you I'll report back to our listeners because we're talking about it's an rfi Yeah, you do know what I do.
I don't know if anyone listening. No, why I don't understand this mood tonight I really don't get it like I'm here. I came over here on my own time to do this podcast You have been nothing but mean to me all night I've been nothing anything but interested in this episode and uh Boy, anyway, okay, is there something wrong with the techno tronics? I hope not.
I think it's fine But go ahead all right. So the torpedo is the shadow is coming after The shadow is coming after the tiger shark and There's panic among the crew the crew is while calm under pressure You can tell that you know, they're sweating It's like everybody on a submarine it I feel like it's a prerequisite if you're assigned to a submarine that you have to sweat all the time Isn't really that hot in a submarine? I'm sure it is. I mean what sub movie have you ever seen where people are not just sweating?
Constantly profusely and it's really dark Every day really dark like they can't afford the extra light electricity bill Which is a shame because there's a lot of tripping hazards on a submarine Yeah, the door is held the little hatches you gotta crawl through and it seems really dangerous Really dark really I wouldn't want to do that why dark and hot and miserable. I just that's why I joined the air force to be honest Anyway, uh, so I'm glad that's the reason why Some people are quite a patriot You know something I should just walk away It is only because I am loyal to our listeners that I choose to stay here and finish this episode All right, well good idea So everyone on the con is a little bit tensions are raised They're like oh my god This torpedo is coming at us including dark digler who's on the bridge and he's really starting to get worried now Because he's trying to figure out how in hell this torpedo could possibly have locked on to the sub and now it is his very life That is at risk and he's concerned And so lieutenant austin says I don't think I can't figure it out. I can't figure it out Time is running out. I can't figure out how to disarm this thing.
I can't figure out how to make it explode to self-destruct We're all gonna die And suddenly dark digler from the top rope says control f9 control f9 She's like but i've tried 500 technical ways to do this and he's like it's just control f9 So she hits it and the submarine explodes no the torpedo I'm sorry. I was getting carried away Um, that's right the torpedo the shadow Explodes the funny thing is the shadow explodes at the back like in the water behind the cruise ship It was never even close to the submarine. So it was all a ruse It was a ruse to get this guy to give up how he controls this torpedo Now some problems with the episode that I had where that they never answered the question about how he could be communicating with this torpedo from a laptop That's never plugged in in excess of their yeah They never really did reveal that I made the assumption that he could re-control it get launch it and he could disarm it If they got close enough to actually do anything with it But yeah, they never really did come circle that lead the circle on how he was in control of it the whole time No, they really didn't or how those explosives got planted in the side well They said in the episode that probably happened during well they did yeah, but how patient I mean, I don't know how long it takes to build a nuclear submarine But I would think it takes a while so this guy had been planning this attack or the series of attacks for years Well, it's 40 million dollars. I mean he's making some serious sacrifices to get well years and he's obviously been colluding with other people yeah, I mean there could be a Huge government conspiracy that harm could have uncovered but it didn't is the thing I mean that was so just oh oh Oh, the episode doesn't just end I You forget about the last ever they copy right October again here at the end with the let's stand at the top of the Subhere and this is where it's a different sub because it doesn't have a stubby little top piece well So fast forward to the end thankfully because it was another terrible episode They the sub is surfaced Blondie and harm are up on the The little tower there where they can step out and enjoy the fresh air and the islands around them in the Caribbean And it's so so beautiful and and and he says well I guess you're not so bad Basically you can be my partner anytime and he accepts her as his now new partner since lieutenant Pike is as a has been And that's where the episode ends.
Yeah, yeah, that's it. That was the end and They seem to be satisfied with one another at this point in time Well, I thought there was some in you I know there because in that last scene He's got that stokey harm does at one of those big old stokey's like the captain of it smoking the entire How long was that? Con 54 feet, okay We had it professionally measured by another man of course because a woman would have said it was like six inches But anyway, it doesn't matter that's near your north air. I think that's right in there It's in that range somewhere between six inches and 54 feet.
Okay. Anyway, sorry mom We are kind of old old enough anyway So he's so he's about to put the stokey to his mouth as he tells her that she's gonna be a great partner And we're gonna do great things and we're gonna conquer the world together And she takes the stokey from him and and and like smokes it herself And I just thought of all the endings that was really the most corny just absolutely just it was and it was in the innuendo Was was clear and I didn't really get that it's just you know, I thought it was very professional and she She was been the one suffering from claustrophobia throughout the entire mission and probably just needed a little nicotine hit to calm her down a little bit Try to find every excuse for these women and they're just such whores in every Them she was coming on to him the entire episode He was to her initially on the helicopter when they were leaving Washington to go to the Caribbean He was coming on to her No, no, she was so and they don't click they there's no chemistry between these two characters Well, they're brand. Yeah, I kind of agree with that I just didn't feel it I had to play these scenes where they're kind of flirty with one another and it doesn't work That proves my point that she just needs a little bit of that nicotine rush to kind of calmer nerves down after this stressful claustrophobic Experience should have never been on that submarine she was she was completely all about herself the entire Yeah, if you put all the time she disconnected herself from the helicopter and flailed into the sea Becoming a liability for everyone and when the rescue helicopter leaves your ass out there then you know nobody cares if you survive the episode Yeah, if you put all the elements together on this episode of All the different pieces particularly of that character all her flaws everything she did and then harm just kind of saying oh that came for the President disregard But you know again When I wait this episode against yeah, yeah, yeah why they're attitude change about the fighter pilot Because everybody respects harm by the end of the episode This is a running trend if you can make a trend out of two episodes I mean it is people don't like him in the beginning the captain didn't like him at the beginning And in the last episode you remember his fighter pilot friends didn't accept him But it seems that at the end of every episode All two of them everybody is like this guy is a badass. He is a bad.
Where is he bad? All our life all we need is an able aviator whoa solve all the world's problems Enabling either slash where and they get that for another 10 years. Oh my god. No one of the show is so successful You know we bash on it folks.
I gotta tell you it is incredible. It's brilliant. It's brilliant. I say okay So the listeners have been captain suspense long enough.
How would you judge this episode? You think are still listening to this podcast? How many well we've given them bonus minutes this time around So so what's your what's your overall rating this time around the last one of five which was a pretty good Again, this is almost like a pilot part a kind of because they clean the slate basically with all the characters from last time With the exception of harm and that lieutenant commander dude everybody else was pretty much brand new. Yeah, so Yeah, I think maybe the whole first season might be like that Does it get worse?
It doesn't get much better I don't know you know it's funny I watched this episode twice and I thought it was absolutely horrendous the first time I watched it in the second time I watched it I thought it was bad, but I think it was as bad So I would encourage people to maybe watch it a second time Wow, so I had the exact opposite I was it a couple of times and I didn't engage, you know, I tend to it to yeah Nobody can see that money So it got worse for me the second time because when I watch these things I suspend disbelief and critical thinking at any capacity and just watch it For brain crap, you know, whatever crap Don't call it crap. I'm just saying I'm just saying I just let it go I don't try to think about it like hey Here's a problem with this that of the other thing but then when I watch it more I definitely say oh, I've got a I now I'm seeing all the problems and because I don't need to worry about the story anymore I'm just worrying about does this even make sense and There's so many levels that this doesn't make sense on We've already talked about a lot of it But just the fact that this was a test and how a test would would be done well, let's talk about that a little if we have time no We're actually running a little late on time Tell your story. I just want to tell the listeners one thing Okay, well, let me know at least rate it before we wrap up but go ahead and tell him your No, well, you said you wanted to rate it. No, oh, yeah, well, you got to tell your story.
What did you rate? What did you rate? I give it a six. Okay, I would I would tend to agree well, no, I would tend to give it a five and a half Jesus, of course you have to change your rating because you were originally gonna agree with me, but that's not possible So you got a five point five.
Yeah, I mean you tend to I mean you know what you inflate either You inflate down too much like it did last week or up too much like it did this week I did a six is terrible. That's like a D. We never even said how much How much thanks out of ten? Okay, well, all right Okay, while he's talking about listeners the story that I was gonna tell Drum roll I can't I can't remember what story was wow You're such a jerk that was a good story I was gonna tell the story and then you you've been barbed me with this stressful question about how I would rate the episode When nobody really cares how I would rate the episode they don't care But it takes my mind off of the story.
I was gonna tell and now I can't remember all right all right well I do apologize hopefully you don't you're not sincere. I am so you're not you just want to end this podcast I call it a night well, well, no, you do I do with your stupid little grin. I do really want to you and try to keep us on time. I am I mean How long have we been going an hour?
Oh, well, we have standards here, and I'm just trying to keep it fine. Okay, so you write it Okay, I read it up five and a half and I guess more to come next week so Are you done? No, it's not gonna come back to me sure It's not good anyway, it's probably best that I skipped it. No, that's that's probably true So should we consider ourselves adjourned fine excellent You didn't get that