To get it in. Yeah, that's easy. Okay. Explain.
You lube it up. You lube it up and you push it in. You don't think they would have opened him up. I gaped.
Yeah. Okay. Oh, like, okay. See, this is part of the explanation.
Do you think they put durable food inside his gay? Nah, nah, because they can't smell through the hole. Yeah, it's true. I am the king of the West.
So today, ladies and gentlemen, I have the great Uncle Laser on the show. But when we recorded the episode, we were in a brand new studio and things did not record the way we wanted for like 17 minutes. So we cut 17 minutes out of the episode because we made a mistake. But the rest of the interview was so good that I was like, man, I don't want to give up this whole interview.
And Uncle Laser is a very funny, entertaining guy. And he was here. He's from Texas. You can't, I can't let that go.
So here's me talking and getting you up to speed with me rambling on for 20 minutes or something with Uncle Laser and then the audio gets fixed. And now it's back to the show with Tully and myself and the great Uncle Laser. So I enjoy it. Enjoy everybody.
I apologize for the start. The mistakes happen. But we're back on track. So make sure you check it out.
Thank you. What is that drug? The one that makes them like the lean back like they're in a thriller video and they don't move like Danny. Is that tranning?
Would that be drank by any chance? That's that's ketamine. That's ketamine. I just can't mean it.
No, that's that's a fucking cake. Oh, if other that's why. No, no, no, because there was that thing that was going around where the guy the guy went and talked about living and stuff like like they have like video where it's like, hey, they like I'm trying to buy my cigarettes and she's like, they get stuck. Yeah, they get stuck.
I've seen people doing ketamine at bars. Oh, wow. Just go. I've buddy Bobby Flocko.
When was it? He'll go, he'll turn to a gargle and just wow. I'm like, do we need to get you to the ER? Because that doesn't seem it seems bad for your brain.
You know, it's like it's knocked out and they go. They freeze. Yeah, they do the what I call like they do a mummy or they go stiff. Like those ones are they scammy.
Another reason why hitting people is not cool. You know, I mean, like if you hit a guy and it's your friend and it's like not shot and he hits you back. I like those. Those are cool.
If you hit a guy and he goes, oh, I'm like, man, he might not be the same. And I want to be a part of that. When people hit him after that too, like a straight far too far. You two want to let me sing ecstasy of gold, but you'll watch a guy like a shit.
Yeah. Well, look good. There's there's homeless, but then like like God, they'll then meet wings and he's like, Hey, man, when you don't have the wings, can you send me the bones for you from away? Like I need a meal that I'll give money to that guy is going to ask me for my leftover wings.
I really want food. He's hungry. But if I see dudes that are willing and able body my age with pit vipers on and when I got money cash spare change on me, they go, I got paper. I'll just put it right here.
You're not homeless. I agree. You're a fucking like a piece of shit. I agree to that.
You're holding up traffic. I agree to that. I don't like that. I'm not going to throw a battery at him, but I will be like to get away from him.
I'm going to paint ball. Now we got a little money. Well, you'll give him money after you shoot him. Well, no, I'm not a fucking not scar from Lion King, but I'm not a villain.
Why never watch the end of it? I'm assuming Scott dies. I think he becomes the Lion King. No, December does.
December becomes a Lion King. Yeah. Yeah. He's a big star.
Yeah. Yeah. There's daddy. Yes.
That's good. I need to hear another fucking 10 songs to get to that part. I knew that was going to happen. It was pretty obvious when the get go that that that stupid little kid was going to be king.
Yeah. And did Scott kill the dad? Of course. Yeah.
Of course it was a set up. Right. It's self. Yeah.
Yeah. John songs really suck too. And I don't know how everybody says they don't. What did Elton John songs?
Can you feel the love tonight? Oh, OK. It's terrible. That's for the Lion King.
Yeah. It's even worse than a good one. John, but wow, he's terrible at that point. Right.
But he did do some other good. Yes, but that was. Yes, yes. Right.
He did. Disney also did some good things. Not a line. Rocking man.
Yeah. Rocking man. I'm a booty baby. Seems to me like Olivia.
That she was. But that's a great one. We're talking like. And can suck a golf ball through a water hose.
What a tree. They say that's what I heard. He's sick. Yeah.
What? Yeah. Well, I think it's like back before prepping on that. Right.
No, no, no, no, no, that's sick. No, he doesn't have eight. Oh, just six. Sick from like, I think like this is a certain amount of cocaine and ecstasy and alcohol that you can do for a certain amount of years where you go.
Right. That's it. Now I'm sober and you're like, yeah, but I'll, you know, I don't know. Keith Richards still walking around just fine.
Keith is just fine walking around. Yeah, just fine. That's a lie. Yeah, we know these people.
I've been close to. They're still on tour at 75. It's still on tour doesn't mean shit. Who's the guy?
Dude, there's these videos going viral. Who's the guy? Someone's going to help me here. The old guy that used to be a young guy, just like everybody else in the world.
But like he's a he's they've got him singing, dude. And he can't he's heads real big and he's body's real little and skinny. And he does. There's like tons of videos now.
Viral on TikTok where he somebody else is singing his song and he's mimicking the words, but he can barely he goes like, you know, the Chuck E. Cheese puppet. The animatronic guy looks like he's putting in more effort than this guy. And it's like Richie Valor or somebody like some old like Italian wanted to be a mobster guy.
But now he's like singing like day shows where he's like man, and he's got like a whole bunch of people behind him vocal old backups and all this big thing. Like there's a big crowd and he's like. And it's him singing. It's not him singing and it's it's going viral because there's so many clips of people in the crowd and going, OK, is anybody seen this?
Because this dude is dying. He's dead. If he's not dead before this episode comes out, then he needs like another trophy. They got to pull the button.
Sometimes you got to don't live to watch yourself become a villain. The thing where I'm like, this guy, this guy owes money. And it's like if he doesn't perform, they're going to kill his grandkids. Well, that's essentially what they did of Elvis, right?
At the end Vegas, right? He just got so much in trouble with debt. Like that's why that's why he's that's why he'll do them show fell off the ball, take him on. Yeah, I don't believe that he had that much poo in his butt.
No, no, no, they just say stuff like that. You know, it's like Richard gear with the gerbils. Maybe he had like a toy stuck in there, you know, I don't know if it was a live gerbil. Oh, God, sorry about that.
Well, let's start with this. Do you believe that anybody has been sincere? Not as anybody done the gerbil thing has anybody sincerely been into that ever? Oh, yeah.
I know. I do know a guy who said that his brother's a doctor who talked to a doctor who was like, I was totally at the emergency room. Like there are there are crumbs leading back to the rich gear. The rich gear thing could actually be everything.
Yeah, yeah. Was just one or was it like a multiple? No, no, no, no. But he ever said that it was an entire family.
Oh, OK, I thought it was like a zoo in there. Like they were doing magical tricks. Right. My bad.
I know a guy had a baby in there. Think maybe. Oh, God. Yeah, like a rubber baby got stuck.
Dude, it's got to have been in some way or she before. But I don't think everyone put a live creature on my fucking anus. It wasn't live. It was rubber.
Well, the the gerbil though. Yeah. Yeah. Well, I mean, there's there's like the edge.
You know, it's like the guy from you too. Sometimes you just got to push it, you know. Sometimes you got to go too far. Yeah.
But you're going to go too far. You don't know where the edge is. Exactly. You've never gone far enough.
Think about it. Well, there's a line. Yeah, but where? Where is the line?
Because to me, you know, where the line is? It's on the edge. Where's the edge? Well, until I fall off it, I don't know.
So whoops, turns out live live creatures in me. That's too far. But I feel like the edge is when it edges its little whiskers right into the cusp of that little tuckus. That's when you go, all right.
Sometimes you don't get time to pull back. You want to see when it comes to drugs? Take give it take somebody drugs where you go. Oh, no.
Been there. Right. Right. But then let me ask you this.
Have you ever gone there again? Several times. How many times have you said ever again? Exactly.
Exactly. I never imagined in this scenario that they were romancing the gerbil into his ass. I don't think gerbils will play with that. Yeah.
Once he gets a hook in. Yeah. It pretty much he's going in and he's not coming out. If he's going in, he's going in.
There's not going to be any. No, no, no, no. All right. Yeah.
Like a preacher is like, oh, come on. Yeah. And then he's in. And then the main thing is like, come out.
And he's like, well, no one's pushing me from in here. So maybe not. And it's like you try to push it. Like one time I had a friend, there's a girlfriend and went to this broffer.
This is like Hell's Angels concert in Australia. It goes to three days and three nights and the security cops are at the gate. But once you get in, cops aren't allowed in there. So the cops are the Hell's Angels, which is really good because nobody fucks up because if you fuck up, you don't get a ticket.
You get shit whipped. It goes like if you're out of line, the Hell's Angels will beat you into a bloody pulp. So everybody's pretty cool. Yeah.
So she smuggled weed because it's back in the day where weed was illegal. Stupid. But she had like a foil of weed in her cookie. And then when she goes to take it out as a girlfriend of mine and my actual girlfriend and they go to the bathroom to get it out and I'm waiting and I'm like, how long does it take to get a fucking foil out of your beef?
And they come back out and one of them comes out and goes, hey, she can't get it out. You got to help her. And I was like, she's got to be joking me. All right.
So I go in there and now she's standing on top of the bowl and I'm doing it because I tried to do the scissor with just be two fingers and it wasn't, I could just touch it but I couldn't get it to come. So then I got two fingers in like this and I do more power, more shooting. Yeah, inverted fingers pinch. So inverted finger pinch and then I got it out.
So but it was, I forgot what I was saying, but that was like, it's not easy to get things out. That's what I was trying to say. Because they can't, you can push because think about it. Ladies push babies.
But not falling. You couldn't get a foil of weed out. No way. That thing was going to be in there till now.
Once again, Richard Geer, the logistics. What would the plan have been? Like obviously if it's true, things went sideways. It's pretty obvious.
If it's gone according to plan, you could have pushed it out. And instead of when he pushed it out, it was like, nah, I'm staying cozy. I'm talking soup to nuts. First of all, to get it in.
Yeah, that's easy. Okay. Explain. You lube it up and you push it in.
You don't think they would have opened him up? I gaped. Yeah. Okay.
See this is part of the explanation. Do you think they put durable food inside his gaped anus? Nah, nah, because they can't smell through the hole. You don't think they would have incentivized the durable going in?
I think maybe they've had like a two, a test tube, if you will, and then attach it to the gaping hole and like pushed him in there. Right. And then they take the test tube away and the dill of closes. Right.
And now he's just running around. That's supposed to be the part that's good, right? That he's running around your, uh, your, uh, yeah, but what's the thing? The button you press and it is.
Oh, and you're prostate? Yeah. He's running around the prostate and your old giggly just like muffin juice. Okay.
Here's another question. Do gerbils have claws? Yeah. Do you therefore have to declaw the durable before you do that?
That's animal cruelty. Yeah. This is all a way to wreck your rectum if you don't be calm, right? Well, I think that they want to be wrecked.
You think he wanted a dribble to scratch the fuck out of his process? No, that's good. Yes, I do. Dude, I know this is not the show.
Let's spin the def. Put the dribble at my ass. Who gives a shit? That's insane.
But no, but yeah, I don't want to, I, look, if, look, I've, you know what? I've seen a lot of stuff. I've been a lot of places. I know a lot of people and I just want to say that I think, yeah, it would have been okay if he got scratched.
That's all I want to say about that. I want to talk more about the Lion King. You good Raven or are you just trying to? Really?
Nice work. You know the scenes in Ocean's Eleven? No, right. The Asian guy is trying to knock up the lasers.
We've got that happening on the other side of the cameras and we're supposed to pretend it's not going to be hot. We love it. It's ridiculous. So, yeah, you're on the road, right?
Yeah. Yeah. And you know, you're a proper cowboy. I want to be a cowboy.
I'm going to ride a country song about how I'm a cowboy who has no horse because it's a sad song. Country songs can be sad, right? That's all they are. Right.
So I have a sad song about I am a cowboy and I want to be, you know, a cowboy if you don't have a horse, right? That's part of it. Yeah. Right.
So that's a big one. Yeah. Right. So I don't have a horse.
You have a gun. I have got several. Okay. Do you wear it outside your holster for the whole brand issue for the world to see?
Sometimes I have it in the backyard. Okay. Yeah. You're a cowboy.
But out here, you've got road horse. I do horse wheelies. Oh, that's right. I forgot about that.
Yeah. Okay. You're a cowboy. What are the other cowboy prerequisites in your opinion?
We got to know how to work lifestyle. Right. That's actually what cowboy is. Drive cattle.
Right. I've tackled a couple of cows. Like steer wrestling. Just big gills.
I know. They said I was an actual. You ever heard a bull? No, but I have played football against the bull.
No, that I lost. Yeah. Is this another sex joke? Yeah.
No, it was a real bull. And he got stuck between my legs because everyone was too scared to go out there and like really rump with the bull. Yeah. And I was like, all right, I'll see where this is going.
I'll do it. And then I got out there and like I duked the bull, but then I stayed in the pocket with the bull. So once I dorked him the first time he's spun around his home up between my legs. Then he picked me up between legs.
I'll spun around and tussled a little bit. You know, I was not going to lie. I was going to tell you to walk out a little bit. I dorked him a few times until I was like, he slowed down because the first time when he came out the gate he ran past me and I was like, gee, people don't care if you die.
Because they were like, get out there. And I was like, you get out there. Like one of you who just said that, get out of here. Because none of you will do it because you will die.
You know what I mean? For sure you will die. This thing was coming in where I was like, I don't know how fast bulls go, but I didn't want to be in front of it when it hit me. Like it was a hit where I was like knocked out, maybe dead.
Like it hit. Like it came in real hot. And then we went past the wall and it was me kick-hope and Sam Tripply. And it went past the wall and I ducked past the wall and hit the other fence.
And I look at my friend and I was like, dude. And he goes, dude, fuck that. Okay. All three of us were like, we're not going out there.
And I was like, we got to go out there. Dude, like it's a TV show. Like people are here. The cameras are on.
Like, and it's just us three. Somebody's going to do it. And we're going out there and we're running and it's coming after us and we're hiding behind the post again. And then he got a little tired and I was like, nobody will commit.
Am I all right? He seems a little gassed. I'll go. And then I bought him and I'm like, I'm not going to run away.
I'll stay and he can't get a run up. So now I'm just like near him. And I was like trying to like hold on and he got his horns on me and kind of flicked me up a little bit. So I wasn't, and he wasn't a full-size bull.
He's probably like 800 pounds or something. Still cowboy. But it was still, like, I mean, I've seen some pretty heavy stuff. And I was like, dude, this thing, one of us might die today.
Like, I remember, look, that was when I realized that the TV network didn't care if we got hurt. Like, they were like, go on. And I was like, did you just see? Because when it first came out, that was the first, he did a lap.
And the first lap, I was like, everything's changed. Because we were in the van talking, oh, this will do. Pass me the ball. And then when it came out, I was like, I'm not doing it.
Yeah. I'm not doing it. I'm not dying for spiking. Yeah.
At least premium cable. Yeah, dude. And I'm trying to think about how many people watched it. You got to laugh.
Oh, cry. Take a minute. It was pretty deadly. But I'm thinking what the question was is I wanted to potentially get a mule because of my skateboard background.
And my lovely girlfriend was explaining to me. She showed me some videos of mules doing sick aerials. They do sick aerials. They jump up on stuff.
Like jump up over five foot fences and shit. And I was like, with me on it, if you have the right mule, yeah. And I was like, I kind of want to get airborne. So at that point, you might as well get a horse and jump horses, ain't it?
I feel like it's a little more horses will do the same jumps. I mean, I imagine so. Yeah. Horse is jump stuff.
That's definitely what I was thinking. That's a aquarium. I don't want to do that because that's pussy shit. No offense to all you guys with your aquarium stuff.
But I'm a Western rider. I ride Western style. You know what I'm saying? Yeah.
Yeah. I don't have my black like three feet in the air. No. I don't have my black saddle.
Huh? Is that a booby trap? I know what side saddle is. I don't have that shit, son.
You like that? No, I don't like that. Okay. Okay.
They don't get a mule inside saddle. Fucking jump up five foot fence. Who gives it shit? Mules is bad.
That's what they meant for like riding jumping. Oh, okay. Yeah. They meant for plow.
An anchor and a mule. You ever heard the term? Yeah. All the men in the black person thing, right?
If you want to go there, but white share crop too. Okay. Yeah. Well, then I want to, I guess I want to horse.
It's just a budget. Probably everybody Jason Ellis here. I'm going to skate. You want to get healthy?
You want to skate with your friends? You want to skate with your kids? Do you want to do it and not go to hospital? I am the number one greatest skateboard teacher in the world.
If you guys want to check out the tutorial on how to skateboard, I teach the very funny Ian finance, even Kim Konden. I teach her how to skate. Father Grind, I have skateboards. I got, you can get set up to get pads.
You can get everything you need to shred. The Jason Ellis Father Grind skateboard made by Paul Schmidt, Tim Barrington, the graphics. These are the top of the line in the skateboard game. This is a top of the line skateboard.
You want to be cool? Get one of these. You can win horses at racetracks. Hell.
There was a man in West Virginia that I took a lot into and he taught me how to like bed on horses. And some of them quarter horses, if you get into the right race, you can actually show up with a trailer there, bed on that horse to do something and to some sort and win the fucking horse. I've seen him do it. I was young when he was doing it, so I don't exactly remember what bed it was, but you can some of them lower level races, you can bet to win that fucking horse.
He's not to win money to win the horse. You win the goddamn quarter horse. You win the horse because the horse lost her because it won. Once again, I'm not.
Can't remember exactly how the bet went, but he did something put on some and he showed up with a trailer and took that fucking horse home. I feel like a round of three trailers. Yeah, sorry, you have horse trailers. I've got three, but no horses.
I've got one horse. He's in here. No, it's at his horse house. No.
Oh, OK. Yeah. It's a coil. It's a chick's horse, which is pretty much my horse.
Hell yeah. It's an out horse. It's an out horse, that horse, it's my horse trailers. She's got a business show pony where she like caters, makes alcohol and non-alcoholic mixers.
Oh, and a little side saddle. Out of the horse trailer. That's awesome. That's awesome.
Probably where your coffee came from. Nice leg horse. Right. It's got fuel in it.
It's got a lot of fuel in it, honestly. I got to be having fun with that. Great guy. OK, good.
Have you seen the latest from our old friend JoJo Siwa? The latest? No, I haven't been all up in the ditty thing, man. What's up?
All TikTok shows me. Jay Z's next. Yeah. And I don't want to, I mean, if you didn't then no, but if you did, I hope so.
I hope everybody goes down. I don't know what it is about me. You might be right. I might be like Scar from the Lion King, but I kind of, I'm like, if you did do stuff, go down.
If you just been like rolling around, like plant, like I'll tell you what, if you had something to do with with Puck and Biggie dying, which is looking like it is now. I did. Did he did it? I mean, we kind of knew that in the beginning.
Yeah. I always assumed it was like, hey, man, why come here? We'll get along and then the two kingpins die and then you make a song with Sting where you make all the money from Biggie. And I'm like, wait, and then I hear Biggie like, one out of his deal.
And I'm like, of course, one out of his deal. Like, why would you be with Diddy if you were Biggie? Like, you know that Diddy's a tool and you're like the shit. And then two pucks was always talking about, you know what I mean, like, about some, you know, Bumby.
I'm like, I gotta meet you so much for some of these gay guys in the rap scene and it's like, I see the vengeance with the gay thing now, because it's like, there's gay guys, and that's cool, but then there's gay guys that are like secretly banging each other aggressively in the ass and like booby-trapping other dudes and making them suck it and then filming it and saying if you don't give me half your royalties, we're going to tell everybody. That's a different kind of gay. Same with DMX, all angry about gay people because it's like, you get beat up and you get Buff-Fucked and I'm like, yeah, that'll make me mad too. But if your friend is like pleasantly doing it then it's different.
Like, did that happen to DMX? I think some stuff has been around it. I'd say he copped it, but definitely he definitely knows a guy knows a guy that coped it Or he just knows a guy But I'm hearing like there's a book that the girl was married to Diddy she wrote a book about Jane and Puppy combs all doing stuff to each other and not in and like Bieber and usher like they booby trapped a beaver And usher made him do us just a piece of shit to allegedly all these things allegedly But it looks like all these guys trapped all these other guys into doing stuff They didn't want to do Jamie Foxx all these guys were like man All you kingpins out there buying stuff and getting shiny cars and being in movies and telling us all what we should do What we shouldn't do it turns out you're a piece of shit I hope you go down man I really do because then what's like the real people in the world that like we should be looking up to people that are good good inside Not just look like like all these things have like influenced us all and they're all steaming piles of shit humans You know like just making money out of all of us and scamming us all into buying your stupid-ass vodka or whatever It turns out you're a dickhead, you know like if you were a sweet guy Yeah, then have my money for your beer your vodka, okay? Are there any real role models out there?
I'm gonna laser you have any role models you know, who's probably the best human being I remember my life is it? It's jelly roll. Yeah, it seems pretty cool. Okay.
Go because he's saying stuff about Fentanyl and he's like trying to help people with drugs and alcohol and stuff and I'm like yeah That's it does seem like a good God, but he comes from that gutter and like you could tell I know some of some people He used to roll around with back in the day and but I saw jellie roll this little private concert party I went to and he stopped and you know There's people take pictures with the fans doing it at the marsh booth to shit But he genuinely like when he talks to you don't talk through you he talks with you Yeah, you know I'm saying like I've never met a human being that is so genuinely Like in the moment with that person. He's honestly like all the fame and fortunately I'm blessed it's come away because he deserves these good people very good people. They're still fine I'm just hard. I'm sorry.
Hox one. Yeah, Tony. Oh, it's like a great. You know real shit You know nice person have ever met there's people out there that you know, that's a difference like you know jelly roll It's a sick ass musician But now it's mainstream and everybody knows he's cool because there's other people out there that we don't know are cool They are godlike you know There's this guy that I had on the whole first of the other day Andy Anderson this skateboarder dude who's just like this crazy talent like Unbelievable and if you're not a skateboard you probably don't know who he is One of the most magical humans I've ever met in my entire life like just a heart of gold Just such a good guy resonate that you can feel it.
It blew my mind like I've seen you skating I was like wow that's incredible and then I met him and I was like I'm ten times more blown away You are a fucking great guy when people are humble I was like that approach than being a prima Dona asshole That's the thing that rubs off, you know, like there's a time there where you know I grew up with AC DC and stuff where you know You know, you didn't care You didn't matter if you had money and then there was a time where Skateboarding got into the hip-hop world and it was just like, you know the Jay Z's of the world where it was like yeah Yeah, shiny. I put your finger in the ground turned around I was like yeah kingpin shit, you know, yeah This stuff where I was like that's what it's all bad like get your rims and get your chains and and yeah And bottle service and and speakers in my car and I was like there's a little part there where my friend had a car He had two tens in the back seat and he had 22s on his rescue lead and I was like America man like this place fun And after parties in the in a hotel VIP loungers and stuff and I was like this is living man Like this is real living but because I was I got put in the cloud of bullshit and I got puffed up And I couldn't see the reality of anything anymore and it carries you away And if you don't pay attention, you'll never get back you never get your feedback on the ground and by the time you do What everybody leaves you because it's over it's too late nobody cares anymore. It's over Well, hopefully that will not be the case for JoJo Siwa So I unveiled another new look on the cover of something like Lady gun magazine She's the dumbest person in the world. He's scrolled in you'll see this.
Oh, who cares? So she has it wait is that a winner? Well, we both thought the same thing lady gun That what everybody thinks that's the question everybody is asking is because she have pecs and a six-pack and a plang Oh, she just put a man cup on yeah, you can tell by the shoulder bones. Oh, she put a man's chest on yes Oh, okay.
Yeah. Well look she's a lesbian. You know that right I do. Yeah, I think she mentioned that a couple times right Yeah, so I mean Yeah, I mean this is a It's a clown, you know like this is a this is basically to me what I'm seeing here is Coca-Cola trying to relate to the kids you know, it's like shake it up and be Relevant you know, they like have a thing because we don't care and then you're like hey I invented this thing I've got a secret now I'm like darker and everybody made fun of her like she is one of the bigger things on social media as in laughable like everybody Think she's the dumbest person in the world.
It's constant videos of how dumb she is and how many dumps thing how many dumb things She says and her mother makes her stuff like I don't I don't know one of her songs you can play it every single part I've never heard of any of her songs. I could not give a shit shit her dance moves There's millions of people out there that mock her dance moves and said proper dance people go She is a laughing stock of a person and now they've got they've got millions of dollars And they like let's do this and then we get a shout out here And I will say this this photo of her because to me she's always been like not hot You know like she's kind of chubby and yeah, she just says her voice is like oh, you know bro Oh my god, you're so not hot This is more of a like apart from the dude parts that she's stuck on her She looks more attractive than she usually does but that's also you do you know who looks hot who isn't hot that might be hot now Oh god, who's Britney's archenina? Dude I serve video of her. She's singing a song with machine gun kelly who's playing guitar poorly and Got some bar chords got a razor blade guitar with a razor blade necklace to match and I'm just like dude I'm gonna punch myself in the face and he's gonna lead break and it's like dude your lead break mid calm down Dude like everybody calm down, you know, there's other people if you Sessary hot you mean like shut up, you know this is actual real guitar.
Have you even heard of Joe Sessary on? I Don't look at the way I look at the way I go look at the way I go Go go go go go go and then come back to me with your way out like if you get it if I can do it don't do it What was I saying? Christina Guler is now attractive to it's not her. Yeah, my chick.
Oh, you know that is and I'm like what do you mean? It's like Christina Guler and I go no it isn't Two different people she died and came back another person and it is insane. Oh insane. Oh insane That's not it.
That's not it do the video of her Do the video of her with machine gun Kelly on a couch because she's it is you don't know it's her You never would have known it was her. It's not her. She's had so many surgeries and it's like oh She lost 42 pounds and I'm like 42 pounds my ass Wait go back go back the middle one so she did a zen pick and then they put all the plates in her face. Yes It's I'm watching it and I go who's this chick that's friends with machine gun Kelly and I'm like that's not her now look at her Does that look like her at all?
Now I can tell all of her dumb mannerisms, but other than that if she wasn't moving I would never know that that's That's a different human being it is. That's a different human man It's insane and then you got this guy over here. Just I know he's cool. He really is cool.
You know, but like yeah, if you're into that now him Him going rock is like Michael Jordan playing baseball. It's like it's the best analogy I've ever heard It's pretty good. It's like you're you're passable at this but you're in this game of things you're a clown at this No one talks about and post Malone did it to another post another great guy, but they start off You're from the post Malone. I've met him in passing But he's I don't know but he can see he does think cool.
He seems like a genuine Yeah, I don't get enough time in interviewing. You know, but he might have been doing the rock though But this is the rock is full of shit right the what the rock Dwayne Johnson Bullshit bullshit everybody you talk to is to tell somebody that you're a genuine guy because you're a bullshit artist on the most Every proportions ever you're the biggest liar ever. So you're saying post Malone. Maybe faking his sincerity.
Maybe I don't He seems like a really yes energy. Look dude. I'm gonna be honest with it If a man is still drinking but like playing beer pong after him before shows That's some shit that you're you're that guy, you know saying like you're not gonna fake that like I've seen it But you're not gonna fake I don't like because he genuinely loves it for the competition aspect Which you think at whatever age is you grow out of that I'm actually playing beer pong for money living in college, you know But like there's some things like oh you're from that right at least in a small meeting that I'm passing I thought he was a but on the flip side that to get to your point machine gun kelly to they all started in that rap shit And then they just hey now we're gonna do country and rock and it's like oh Oh, so you just garnered something to get out and now you're gonna do something. I'm just like yeah the post Malone's I'm sorry to go ahead.
No, but I but I post Malone's country It's not terrible, you know, but it does not cowboy country where I'm from now I'm gonna disagree through there It's terrible and I was shocked and I was disappointed because like my kids got into post Malone It's like the one thing they listened to that came out after 1985. I'm like, okay, why I listen This is your yeah, this is your generation. I get it this guy is respectable I'm okay with you listening to this all came with his being on in my car and then he put out a song with Blake Shelton stuff Trust Wow, and I'm like oh did he make did he pull did he pull Blake Shelton into the kind of not terrible world? No, he went and he made a fucking stuff croswell.
I'm on the voice. They got a song called stuff cros I don't even know this now. He does the pizza. Oh Calling him stuff cros for years.
That's hilarious. I've never let it go. I can't hey Would it be a professional if I peed right now? No, when you come back ever to put in here I've been that wheel it's working.
Yeah, yeah, okay quick Pete breaking and we'll spin the wheel I'm sorry. I don't know if we have any ads to do for blue shoes. We just give a freebie man I'm mad at blue shoe. I moved I moved address and they don't send me blue shoes and I pay All right, and I told him hey, I moved.
Uh-huh. They go. Oh my bad the next one's on the house. Yeah, nothing.
Oh, man Yeah, I'm starting it's freaking me out. I'm really freaked out about it Michael I just like having them in my pocket knowing that whenever you want one you could have a boner Because I got a bit of a no, but I just like Irrational yeah, my rational boner where it's like I could do a handstand and still have like a Ripper, you know, I gotta be honest with you the handful of times that I did it. I was excited about it Why does someone said my audio sounds totally blown out? I could tell you it's one person though When was that sent?
Fire miles show sounds like shit today. That's two people Jason your mic is messed up Unlistenable hope it's fixed for a show. I mean that was at 242 so that was an error ago That's exactly when we started nobody has said that since then no one has said anything since then yeah, okay So it may have something to do with the intro Mike also we're obviously working through lots and lots and lots and lots of stuff here What they are hearing through YouTube is not necessarily what's being recorded here Right and I'm willing to believe that what's being recorded here sounds like what we're hearing here Maybe we just need to tweak what we're sending out to people by YouTube It would be in the scheme of things a small problem. Yep.
Yeah, so we have this wheel of doom that was constructed for us by a listener many years ago I remember and it's got some things some activities some more fun than others on it and And do I get the pleasure of spinning this if you would like holy shit that's the dubious pleasure Oh, I don't get to see the spin either. No, I kind of like that. I kind of like the the the secret history Yeah, so I just like we were fortunate bitch. That's right.
Give it a little tug Well done. What is it? I got a kid's that fucking cat blindfold make out with pet Let's do it. I'm a worse fucking ring in the bean and blindfold.
Wait a minute now. I'm getting a bunch of text messages see It's better now. It was bad for a 20 to 30 minutes. Oh first six minutes audio was bad.
Yeah You sound fine right now didn't hear when it showed my bad audio was trash for a while but cleared up eventually I Just appreciate everybody for getting back to me sounds great now, but for a little bit was bad Thanks everybody for trying to help the show and you know obviously brand new studio New people and all old equipment all tangled up and you know some people That we're here that set up stuff set it up incorrectly and and this is this is a thing You know, okay, I think when we first did a show a long time ago in the new studio everything was bad I think the first time we ever did the serious show in my house the audio was bad. I just bring it on in Why are you holding him like there's something wrong with him? Yeah? So we blindfold him or More fair, but Rebel bean oh any's here.
Well, I mean now when I was faced people okay I instantly regret that but this is a goddamn adorable kid He's like a guy some people have said that he looks and feels like a scrotum I guess the question is does he also taste like one I used to roll up on a ball and suck my own dick back in the day And now he's better better clean than I am wait what real slow that down what? You still roll what up yourself myself? Remember when all the shit came out with Marilyn Manson? We're like broke his ribs on dick Yeah, I put that through the test and bring my ribs, but my legs and my mom's cock table roll into a ball and you get it Yeah, I got them fucking head of an in and then you're just like oh, I'm sucking somebody's dick now And then you're like clicking your neck for weeks It seems like if you can't if cuz I if you can't get into a comfortable position you can't enjoy it now Yeah, no, it's kind of like a it's kind of like getting a blowjob while somebody puts bamboo under your fingernails You know me like I want to enjoy it, but goddamn that fingernail thing is really pissing me out Or you like a TV blowjob someone doesn't use her?
Oh, yeah, it is Yeah, there's only so many it's like somebody's like super into it and they like really trying and their teeth are hitting you're like ah ah ah Okay, baby by the sixth or seventh tooth scrape. You're like I can't hang I'm good. Yeah. I'm good.
Yeah We'll see you down the road. That's kind of where that ends up. I got you over. Yep.
Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, that's not Christina Aguilera It isn't right which I thought was quite it was actually kind of cool because I was like I Here's the thing when you do that much that you don't look like you It's a bit sad because you are gone, you know like if I look in the mirror and I go I look and I go whoo You know, he been around for a while, huh? But I still see me.
Yeah, you know like if I see my kids and I go I go All right, or I show photo to somebody that doesn't know me from when I was a kid when I was little and they go wow That is your daughter or wow that is your son. It feels good You know cuz I go I mean I do have kids it's cool to know that they came from me, but she will never have that again But I also think that there's a thing where not everybody but a lot of celebrities Always wanted to be something else and they hate who they used to be and they would prefer if they could have a choice where Nobody ever knew the person that isn't this big thing that they have created. Yeah, and I think somebody like her could be that Oh almost without a doubt right because to me it almost seems like it's like a desperate for attention right It's like whenever you call her out on the she was innocent Then she became like a sex person. Yeah to like get attention cuz Brittany was doing it like she's had many She's changed her whole persona.
Yeah for the sake of popularity. She went full-scank hard She was a genie in a bottle remember she for a brief moment attention She was a genie and then she was dirty with two hours Oh, yeah, I forgot about that you like that jerk off that means video really the boxing gloves did for you Yeah, that one in the Missy Ellie one one though. Well on Rouge I did my blood. Yeah, let him on my long really joke off doing that The one with the cat tattoos on her.
Yeah. Yeah, I'm either. Yeah. He was fun.
Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
Yeah. Yeah. Yeah My friends in that yeah, look at that little cam got time simpler then. That's what we're beating off like BET and I never beat off.
I'm older than you. I never beat off to music videos. Well, isn't that like that? Yeah, all right.
I mean I'm freaking down. We can say I'm kind of showing off rock Well, we're both the people that you are top to well So we got the cable TV there HBO I used to beat off to like skin a max and goddamn taxicab confessions Oh, I keep that uh, I'll be scared at night like someone get up to see me So I keep a remote control by my bets. I take one have the previous channel button on Nickelodeon nice and then y'all I'm like actually ejaculated cuz I thought somebody was coming in to fucking hey Arnold Yeah, I see that you know I'm saying like switching over and being them big things on this is a black chick That's my cam and it's my not oh, yeah, it's like a little Kim, but my oh yeah. Yeah, who's my oh?
She was big arm be there for a while she was she sang the hook on get a superstar. Yeah Yeah, I interviewed her one time right around that I don't care no, there's nothing like who gives a shit Absolutely one time I bought one of the most like high high roller things I ever did I leased a Audi and I was at one desk in the dealership and she was at the next desk also getting an Audi at the exact same time yeah, yeah, but I was like yeah, she's a celebrity like it counts kind of it's not very hot Neither is little Kim in that neither is Christina you got some weird taste of jaggin it Hey, man, you like what you like. I don't know I feel like Christina Gillera in that particular era is worth joking off on It's all matter what you're in I don't want to say it's like I who I want to joke off on because one of my best friends Is married has children with her but I've pink off looks pretty heart-right there and I would if if I would if she wasn't married to my friend and has children with my friend and She was like a time machine before she was married to my friend. Yeah, I would joke off on her I think I'm okay with saying that I don't think she's gonna see this But if she does see this I think she would understand where I'm coming from for sure I think she's taking his compliment.
That's what I think too Michael. She understands So be out of Photoshop Jojo with the bowl chain the background of this photo that would have made a Mate like they think about because they say that kids don't have sex as much as they used to like with any hour I'm right and I wonder it's because I wonder if it's because there's nothing to jerk off to because I don't want to Joke off to that. Yeah, but they do the jokes off the her limitless pornography at their fingertips. Oh, yeah, right Oh, yeah, we turned off to marry with children.
No, Kelly Bundy. I did Kelly Bundy. I literally I don't wait Did you check off to her walls? She was on the show one time isn't oh, yeah, I'll bunty talk Look at dude.
Oh my god. She's not saying I'm not saying she's not worth joking. Okay. Here's what I'll say Here's what I'm saying.
One time I was my then girlfriend when this was on TV My then girlfriend was babysitting and invited me over and whatever we got up to she and I got up to it on the couch And I still had full view of the television. Yeah, unless you say the critical juncture. I was looking at Kelly Bundy not my Then girlfriend right what tree. Yeah, man.
That was about Jennifer love you it. Can you pull that up? That's my favorite. I never liked it.
Yeah, I hate her face Wow, he was looking at her face. Okay. Yeah, well that's right Jennifer love you it doesn't make me different. She got it.
She's got a she's got a cobbler tree a shaver us teacher walk backwards Well, she's got a mop face It's a very head like a powder weight ratio head to body mass. It's insane, dude. It's insane She's a bubble head stop dude every time you know, right switch. She's in that movie with a murderer guy She's like, yeah, we're gonna get me.