Under The Mask It Is Absolute Chaos

You can spend decades thinking you are disorganised, too intense, too sensitive, or simply “not trying hard enough” and still look like you have it together. Then one ADHD assessment lands, and suddenly your whole timeline rearranges itself. I’m Nicky, and I’m joined by therapist Rachel Young for a candid, sometimes emotional conversation about being assessed for combined ADHD in midlife, and what it’s like to finally have language for patterns we’ve carried since childhood. We dig into why the word “diagnosis” can feel uncomfortable, and why we prefer thinking about neurodiversity as a culture the world often fails to accommodate. We talk about masking, high achievement, and the exhausting gap between what people see and what’s happening underneath. If you’ve ever pushed harder and harder, only to crash the moment you stop, you’ll recognise the cycle. We also get practical about executive function and coping tools: time blindness, overplanning to compensate, missing things even with a colour-coded diary, and the very real shame that can follow. You’ll hear how ADHD can show up differently in women, how childhood experiences shape adult self-talk, and why perimenopause and menopause can make old coping strategies stop working. We also touch on friendships, the pressure to “do relationships right”, and the relief of finding people who understand that silence does not equal lack of care. We end with the most important takeaway: shifting the inner voice from criticism to compassion, and building support that fits your brain. If this resonates, share it with someone who needs kinder explanations for their life, then subscribe, leave a review, and tell us: what part of ADHD do you wish people understood better?Resources & support (UK)Samaritans: 116 123 (free, 24/7)Shout: Text 85258 (free, 24/7) Explore more tools & training: 🌐 www.nickyperfect.com 🌐 www.thecommunicationcoach.co.uk