Understanding Joy and Pain with KJ Ramsey

What if joy isn't waiting on the other side of your pain — but is actually woven through the middle of it? In this episode, Jamie and Blake sit down with KJ Ramsey — trauma-informed licensed professional counselor, author, and self-described "increasingly feral mystic utterly devoted to the joy of being alive." KJ's newest book, The Place Between Our Pains: A Memoir of What Joy Can Survive, grew out of a personal dare: to discover that joy is more trustworthy than trauma. What followed was a cross-country adventure to revisit the national parks of her childhood, a near-death health crisis, and one of the most honest accounts of living with chronic illness, complex trauma, and radical joy you'll ever encounter. KJ reframes everything about how we think about hope and joy — not as light, aspirational feelings, but as heavy things we were never meant to carry alone. She argues that joy isn't on the other side of grief, it emerges from within it, like mycelium threading silently beneath a forest floor, sustaining everything above it without anyone seeing. This conversation will move you. It may also wreck you in the best possible way. TAKEAWAYS Why hope and joy are too heavy to hold alone — and why that's actually good news How joy emerges from grief rather than existing on the other side of it What it means to "welcome grief expecting joy" Why stories are both sustenance and bridges — and why KJ wrote a memoir instead of a self-help book What tenderness toward your own pain actually looks like in practice Why people who suffer with chronic illness or trauma may be uniquely positioned to experience more joy How avoidance is a privilege — and why that doesn't make it useful CHAPTERS (00:00) Cold open: those who struggle are positioned for more joy(03:00) Introducing KJ Ramsey and The Place Between Our Pains(07:00) What KJ hopes listeners take away: hope and joy are team sports(15:00) Why hope is terrifying — and joy is not what we think it is(19:00) Joy as mycelium: the hidden web threading everything together(30:00) When your life tests the truth of the book you're writing(35:00) The difference between looking for the good and holding tenderness for the bad(39:00) Reading from the book: the Moon Face chapter(49:00) The book cover, the thread metaphor, and living through a tumor on her face(57:00) Avoidance is a privilege — and those who can't avoid pain may become the most joyful LINKS & RESOURCES Three Percent Website: https://threepercentco.com/ Join The Basement (private community + reflection guides): https://threepercentco.com/membership KJ Ramsey's Website (book sample + links): https://www.kjramsey.com/ The Place Between Our Pains — buy the book: https://www.kjramsey.com/ KJ Ramsey on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/kjramsaywrites/ Scott Erickson (mentioned by Jamie, friend of the podcast): https://www.scotterickson.art/ David Gate's Substack review of the book (mentioned in episode): https://substack.com/@davidgate KEYWORDSThree Percent Podcast, KJ Ramsey, The Place Between Our Pains, joy and grief, chronic illness, complex trauma, hope, memoir, men's mental health, self-compassion, tenderness, mycelium, healing, connection, vulnerability, faith, wholeness, disability, personal growth Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices