Unlearning and existential trust. Delivered Aug 10, 1986

Zen Roshi, Lola McDowell Lee, explores the concepts of unlearning, existential trust, and the structural dynamics of the ego.Lola describes the state of an enlightened individual as one whose nature has completely sunk back into its roots in the One. True spiritual power, she argues, is not achieved through cleverness, daring, or accumulated knowledge, but rather through an intense process of unlearning.Within every person exists this pristine, unconditioned reality—the true man of no rank.An obstacle to realizing this wisdom is the modern obsession with cleverness and interpersonal strategy. Individuals constantly construct internal scripts, planning how they will speak or act based on anticipated reactions (if I do this, they will do that). They even include their spiritual development as part of their ambitions for the future.It is an exercise in delusion for an individual ego to attempt to outsmart the source from which it emerged—and to which it must inevitably return. It’s like a tiny ocean wave attempting to outwit the vast sea, or an individual leaf plotting against its parent tree. True liberation demands that these mental structures be abandoned in favor of self-understanding and self-acceptance, which renders cunning obsolete.To dissolve the artificial armor of the intellect, we must acknowledge: I don't know. Strip away conceptual hand-me-downs, leaving an unclouded personal trueness, enabling an individual to walk through existence with the unvarnished trust of a small child holding a parent’s hand.Lola distinguishes between two dimensions of human capability: phenomenal intelligence, which governs analytical, academic operations—and numinal intelligence, which manifests as an innate, structural wisdom born into all living things.Numinal intelligence is not characterized by cunning or calculation. It manifests as a profound trust in reality. The simple act of lying back and falling asleep is a marvelous expression of our underlying trust in and connection to the totality of life.Lola tells a story of an eighty-year-old sword-master and an ambitious disciple. Despite his high technical proficiency and physical power, the disciple remained trapped within his own ego, constantly demanding a duel to claim the master's lineage. The aging master instructed the disciple to first defeat the master's former disciple who had long since discarded his sword to become a contemplative monk.The aggressive disciple angrily found this monk and demanded a duel with him. The monk calmly declined to pick up a weapon, stating that he would simply allow the disciple to attack him. Upon standing, the monk effectively transformed into a terrifying, slightly swaying pillar of energy. The disciple panicked, discarded his sword and fled. By provoking anger in the disciple, the monk instantly exposed vulnerabilities in the student's being.Lola quotes the biblical passage, “Blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the kingdom.” Spiritual poverty is the absence of a grasping, possessing ego-self. When an individual is dominated by pride, jealousy, or desires, their vital energy is continually fragmented and leaked away. But when an individual achieves true desirelessness, their energy ceases to scatter outward. Instead instead, they move inward, compacting the consciousness into an unassailable, solid field—a pillar of strength, light, and focused meditation.It’s what Plotinus meant when he called it the "flight of the alone to the alone.” The seeker must strip away personal trappings, cultural embellishments, and egoic self-beautifications. Delivered Aug 10, 1986