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What the fuck? Go. Speak. Are we on?
Yeah. I'm really confused. Hello everyone. Welcome back to your favorite podcast with your boy, Mattie Ice, and my lovely co-host, Lisa.
What up? What up? We're heading back with our WTH3. What the hell happened here?
What the hell happened here? No, no, no, no, no. We need to make that a contest. We make that so it's gonna be WTH3.
If you come up with a rap to go with WTH3, I swear if you submit the video to our Facebook page. This, all right. I'm submitting a personal contest. All right.
There he goes. No. Here we go. For all of our WTH3 listeners, I want you guys to submit a song, a rap.
It's got to be less than 20 seconds is fine. We don't need to go crazy here. But about why WTH3 is awesome because I'm going to submit one myself. Matt's entering his own contest.
I'm not competing. I'm just throwing out the standard here that we're going to be issuing. Lisa and I will judge the winners winner, and that person is getting a giveaway from me personally. Perfect.
That's exciting. Yeah. It's gonna be something good too. We're talking something seriously.
Oh shit. The anti's up. So like Matt's out. If you have a WTH3 rap rhyme song, and Johanna Joe, we're looking at you.
You better enter this. Yeah, Hannah, we're shouting you out. You better submit something to this. Lord knows.
You should witness. Yeah. Right. All right.
All right. So before we get started, we just want to remind everyone we have our Patreon page up. I've been doing a really good job not to my own about getting things out early. So if you're a Jones in for some new episodes, full episodes, WTH3s are out there early.
Sign up pledge, make a little donation. It doesn't. I'll tell you we're always going to give out free content. That's always going to be the goal.
We're never going to charge money for our actual podcast itself. No. However, any donation really does help. It takes a lot of time and manpower on both of our ends here to make this podcast happen and a lot of money out of pocket.
More leases than mine. I understand my technology capabilities are limited. Yeah. So really anything helps.
Literally you can donate as much as little as a dollar a day. Even probably less. You could do 50 cents if you're really feeling great. And we have some amazing perks that you can enter in on.
And we'd really love for your support there because it means the whole entire world does. Anything and everything helps you guys. Literally up. Honey helps.
We don't care what it is. Honestly, if it's US currency, how could we Canadian currency at this point? Give us an Australian dollar. Give us whatever the hell you got.
But that link is in our show notes. It's also patreon.com slash iFryPod. And you can find us on Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, really everywhere under that same little name there. iFryPod.
That's what we are is everything. Come chat with us. We're on Twitter, Instagram, Facebook. We have a Facebook group.
We're always always causing a ruckus everywhere we go. Oh yeah. We don't mess around. Well, we sort of do.
That's kind of how it works. Kind of the point. Yeah. So that's some of the business.
Let's get into the WTHC map. Let's dive right on in. This one is utterly ridiculous. And I mean that quite literally since that is actually the title of this podcast.
WTHC, what the hell happened here? So let's dive in. A man in Brazil was killed in 2013. So it's not a funny part.
Lisa's not laughing at his death. A man in Brazil was killed in 2013 when a cow fell through his roof onto him while he was sleeping. You fucking imagine. If he was just newsing and all this stuff, then he had a fucking cow.
John Nathan, I'm really wishing you could drive in on this one because I'm seeing some great puns already here. So he just wanted you to move. So while Maria de Sousa, 45 years old, had been in bed with his wife with his wife Lenny, when the animal fell through the ceiling of their home in Cartagena, southeast Brazil. I'm sorry, Cartagena, southeast Brazil.
I misread that. I thought it was killing me. The cow is believed to have escaped from a nearby farm and climbed onto the roof of the couple's house totally in shock this animal made onto the roof of that house. Like what happened?
I mean it back up. So I back up to a steep hill, but I mean this thing meander down this big house. I thought cows couldn't climb stairs. How the hell did this thing climb down the hill up to a roof?
All right, I don't even want to know. So you ready for this? The corrugated roof immediately obviously gave way. How much do you think a cow is?
Like over 1,500 pounds. I mean like that's a big fucking animal. 1,500 pounds. A full size male cow.
I need to know. A full. Okay wait it says here. The one and a half ton animal.
Okay, are you kidding me? That's double what I said. A ton is 2,000 pounds. Wait, okay wait how much is a cow?
Wait I'm gonna be my band. It says right here was a 3,000 pound cow. It's not funny. This is like this guy wasn't counting sheep, it was counting cows.
Wait the answer on Google. Wait for this answer on Google. The answer on Google is Barry Cow's way a lot. Well Google can certainly offer us some insight.
Wait, average breed. Wait, I don't know the difference between these breeds but basically it meanders between 1,000 pounds, 1,800 pounds and then even more I guess. Say anything about big fucking Brazilian cows because this thing was big as hell apparently. 3,000 is worth this.
A ton and a half. I'm no math expert but if anybody out here understands what I'm talking about that's what I'm talking about. So here's my question. Okay, where the hell did they let this cow escape?
Get down this hill onto this roof to this guy side of the bed. This is the worst luck I've ever heard. I'm so sorry Mr. DeSusse.
Rest in peace. His wife and the cow. Both escaped unharmed so the cow just got off and walked away. That's just that's the good thing I guess.
Is it like the woman's house? The cow or the woman? Oh no. Oh my god the poor woman.
That's just horrible. Can you imagine the fuck you would come from a cow falling through your roof? You would never be able to sleep peacefully again. She probably has a steel roof now.
She probably moved. That was not a nail. Well rescuers did take Mr. DeSusse to the hospital where his leg was fractured and there were no other obvious injuries at first.
Reporting to be was conscious and talking normally at first. Hours later however he died from internal bleeding while still waiting to be seen by doctors according to his family. So the ultimate cause of this was... Internal bleeding.
Well no I'm saying the cow falling on him. He died of internal bleeding but I can think if that's the case that there was also some medical malpractice there and then he was not properly cared for. So Mr. DeSusse's brother-in-law Carlos Carrea told Brazil's quiet MDI newspaper.
Being crushed by a cow in your bed is the last way you ever expect to leave the surf. Carlos no true words wherever spoken my friend. He said but in my view it wasn't the cow that killed her. Wow.
How do you say that? You're asking the wrong person. Wow. I like that.
Good enough. But in my view it wasn't the cow that killed her while. It was the unacceptable time that he spent waiting to be examined. Oh see the doctors fuck that whole hospital.
I hope they see the doctors. His grieving mother Maria DeSusse told Brazil's super canal TV channel. I didn't bring my son up to be killed by a falling cow. That is so horrible.
It's a little bit like. I like what a laugh but I'm like can you imagine I like that. No I'm gonna buy a two-story house now. Not near a hill or a farm.
What in your cows? I don't even want to drink milk. You're gonna protest in honor of his memory. Well police in Carreitina launched a full inquiry into the bizarre death and the honor of the cow could potentially be facing involuntary men's.
Now can you let's go over that for a second. We're doing an episode on that if he goes to court. We're gonna find out the same statues. He can't fucking like he can't fucking get women out.
You can control your cows to a point like how did the cow get out at the end of the day. It's like you can't make your cow. He didn't push his cow into this person's roof. As far as I know he had no idea the cows did.
So how did you be charged with the voluntary manslaughter if you didn't even know that this was a thing. Where were you when the cow was on the roof sir? It's like a sick game of cliddle. It's the worst fucking murder charge ever.
No I'm not buying Mr. Farmer down the road. Wait a minute. So what if the cow also committed other crimes while he was out any like.
What if he stole someone's like flowers and ate them and like is that felony murder? Is this dude gonna face first degree murder charges on the count of a reckless cow? It's horrible. I think they should go after the hospital if we're being honest.
I totally agree. I think there's a civil suit. Well if he sat there for hours I mean we don't know what their circumstances were but. But doctors should be able to tell that there's an internal bleeding.
That should be part of the check. I mean a fucking three thousand pounds cow to sell through his roof on top of him. Clearly there's more damage than a broken man. Whereas he wasn't rushed to the head of the line.
Like my man just had a fucking farm animal fall on him. Through the roof of his house. Are we not gonna seek attention here? No.
All right. Let's just seriously wonder what the hell happened here. Okay. What the hell happened here?
Not red sub. Everybody get out with your night. Oh my god. This is why we're all going to be vegan.
Just kidding. I like my mistakes. I'll let me get into that conversation yet. It makes me more pleased at.
Well that conversation another time. All right. All right. Good night everybody.
We're just asleep. Wait I wonder if this cow is euthanized. You know the euthanized dogs. Ah we can't get into that now.
We don't want to know. The cow is not right. We hope he's returned to the farm and he's not facing charges himself. Have a good night everybody.