Valentine’s Day Isn’t the Problem—Unspoken Expectations Are

Valentine’s Day has a way of turning love into pressure—and connection into conflict. In this episode of The Spaghetti Wall Podcast, Jason Wilcox, LCSW, and Dr. Tanay Lee unpack why holidays like Valentine’s Day, anniversaries, and birthdays so often lead to resentment, disappointment, and fights.We explore the difference between invitations and expectations, how unspoken needs turn into silent tests, and why unmet expectations hurt so deeply. The conversation dives into negative core beliefs—like “I’m not important” or “I’m unlovable”—and how they quietly shape our reactions when our partner doesn’t show up the way we hoped.You’ll learn how to communicate desires without making them demands, how to stop using holidays as emotional tests, and how to create connection without conditions. Whether you love Valentine’s Day, hate it, or feel anxious every time it comes around, this episode will help you approach it with clarity, compassion, and a lot less pressure.