Hey everybody welcome to another episode of Villain Underground. I am your game mustard, happy puke. And today with me I have four lovely faces and I will introduce them one by one first. I'm going to introduce them in ASMR way so first we have...
Hey guys, be sure to sign up for the SHU Patreon where you can get special access to the recording session where Villain Alex is character's f**k. I don't have a character but next we have that smooth jazz master Cody. Me and Vanita was, I really wanted to say that. Then we got that cool gato that master disguise that blues brother's 2000 looking motherf**ker.
Phil. Why did you pick 2000 version? Wait man, it's an American classic. What?
Delete your account please. No, become the meme I hate. I am the memester. What have you done to me?
You fool. I mean you out. And then we got that bucket of peaches to alley. Okay so I'm just gonna go cease and y'all are but now I'm here to name a bucket of butts so...
But peaches and emoji is representative of a butts so I'm a bucket of butts. Alright so I'm gonna pick somebody randomly because Ally admitted she doesn't know what the f**k happened. That's the thing I'm going to say. Will let us know what you think happened last time on Villain Underground.
Okay so the gang went to the evil swamp where they were hot on the trail of the hot DC Villain suicidal alligator murderer. What? Or something. I don't know.
We went to a base in the swamp. There was some motorboughton happening. We blew up a wall, got into the base, Robo got hacked, got all fucked up. We killed some guys listening to public domain racist music after bringing the disabled Robo Novo back to the base.
Stuff started going sour with a group. Golden Arrow had a tantrum. Went outside. Y'all emo started writing poetry.
He broke Knox's floor. Robo reactivated. Almost broke Knox. What are we doing?
There's feral dogs still running around the house. I don't know. That was about it. Anybody have anything else, Ed?
I feel like there's a lot of breaking of my stuff and mike in the last episode. I mean to be fair you have the most stuff of all of our k- trails. Right. So fucking live in my house.
Why does everyone live in my mansion? When did this become a thing? When you decided that your character has a mansion. Oh, I remember we even found Donaldson last week.
You did not. Oh, that didn't happen. Okay, never mind. Never mind.
Never mind. Never mind. Never mind. You just want that to have happened.
That's the other villain's podcast I listened to. Oh, yeah. The alternate reality. Let's open up.
It's morning breaks. Golden Arrow is shining outside next to the tent that is out in the lawn. And the camper of Twisted Arrow is still around there, correct? Yes.
Okay. And I've met, what was the zombies name? What was the pun? Billy the Gorse.
Yeah, Billy the Gorse. Billy the Gorse. Yeah, one of those. Yeah, that'll happen.
Billy the body. What does Golden Arrow do in the morn? Could you actually go to somebody else? Yep, I will.
Okay. Knox, you wake up in the morning. Kesha comes on for a brief second until he reaches over and smacks the snooze button. Kesha?
Wake up in the morning feeling like Pityity? Oh, yeah. I got it. Good.
Okay, cool. It's good. Sorry. I like it.
Yeah, it's evil as fuck. Shower, clean stuff off. Gorse's computer. Kind of tippy taps.
Word of the villains comes in, Jerry. He starts fixing the hole that's in my freaking room. Thanks, Gullnera. Gullnera's not there, but he says he was.
And then goes out to go get breakfast. Okay. You go to breakfast. You wake up as well.
Um, so I'm going to get out of bed and make sure all my various and sundry firearms are nice and clean and fully loaded and ready to go. And then I'm going to go get some food too. Okay. Roman Obel, you are done charging.
Your batteries are full. I'm sitting in what I guess is the living room. There's a couch in it at least. That's about as close to where the other living room is there.
And I'm just browsing through the internet looking up stories about pharmaceutical companies and gathering info, occasionally writing them down in my palm pilot, which is my palm that I'm able to write stuff on. Okay. You're taking a lot of notes. The note's pretty good.
You see that I anox in the breakfast nook preparing meals. Give them a side glance and then go back to fiddling around on the internet. Okay. Can I count my henchmen?
Yeah. How many henchmen do I have now? Nine. All right.
Cool. All right. Number seven is named Jerry, by the way. I'm just I had that in my notes.
I wanted to reiterate that. Okay. Nine henchmen. Finally, take a note.
I've always taken notes. Okay. They just haven't been the greatest. All right.
Yeah. So did I anox you are in the breakfast nook making whatever breakfast you're making? There's lots of stuff I would imagine. We're probably making sandwiches.
Negative. I'm making some eggs. And then putting them on bread and making an egg sandwich. No.
You're not going to make an egg sandwich. No. We'll make some scrambled eggs and bacon and make a bacon and egg sandwich. There's a difference.
Okay. Golden arrow. Are you ready? Yeah.
Okay. I suppose. All right. Back out on the lawn.
You smell what smells like eggs coming from inside. And Twisted Arrow comes out of his trailer and he sees you and he's like, how was your night on the lawn? Yeah. It was a sort of cold, I suppose.
Yeah. I told you you should have slept inside. There's no reason you should have slept in the lawn, but you were pretty determined on it. I did have some time to think.
So yeah. You still want me to transfer you to another team? Oh. No.
No, no, no. I'm fine. Just right here. We're going to make this make this work.
Okay. And he says with a big smile. All right. I'm I guess I'm glad to hear it.
We're about to hear a night on the ground change your mood. Yeah. So you should probably get in there and have some breakfast. I'm going to be briefing you guys later tonight.
So, you know, maybe patch things up with knocks. So you aren't getting each other killed on the field. Yes. Of course.
Sure thing boss. Talk to you later. All right. All right.
Okay. And he walks away. Golden arrow. He walks in, sees the robot monkey, Robin Obo sitting on the chair.
And then we'll kind of tip his head towards Robin Obo. Okay. And then one. Oh, no, I just if Robin Obo doesn't react, the robot is a react.
Kind of size to himself. And then he walks right into the kitchen. All right. Golden arrow enters the kitchen where eggs are cooking.
What's up? You want some eggs? Yeah, of course. Love eggs.
Hey, knocks. Super sorry. But I'm eating my egg sandwich. What?
Sorry. And I go for a high five. Do you leave me hanging? He like reaches up and he touches his hand and then like puts his hands back down.
He doesn't do the high five. He just touches it. Okay. Good enough.
And I will make myself a plate of eggs and bacon. All right. Okay. The breakfast is delicious.
Does anybody else do anything doing breakfast? I feed my henchmen. Are they lined up in high chairs? Yes.
I individually spoon feed each of them. Open up. Here's the plate. I mean, they're like cold road men.
Oh boy. Okay. All right. The henchmen eat hardly.
Oh, cool. All right. So breakfast, breakfast happens. You have the rest of the day.
Tell me what you guys do for the day. Well, the henchmen have to train and they have to get their dietary needs situated. They also need to get enough exercise. So I'm assuming that they're walking all the dogs randomly running around.
And then I tell them to fix the rest of this goddamn house because it's a disaster. Okay. All right. And I give them money to do so because I have money.
Okay. Cool. They're like, all right. We'll go fix the disaster.
Yes, mouse. And they go off today and I clap for each of them. And I make them all feel like they're part of the team. Yay.
Everyone's feeling good. It's a good day. Twist Narrow enters later in the evening. And he's like, guys, I have another briefing for you.
So gather around when you can in the next 20. That's up tits. Excuse me? Tits.
That's Monday Nick name for you. Because you know, TA, Twist Narrow, Tits Narrow, Tits Narrow, your tits. Hi, tits. Does that make you an ass?
No. It makes you the ass. So I have both the tits and the ass. Oh yeah.
Cause you're a special snowflake. As an oxalox away. I call her double D. All right.
You are not allowed to call me that. Child. If you guys are dumb, don't be an idiot. It's a gather around Robonobo.
Go near it. Yes. No. Oh yeah.
I'm here boss. All right. So I have another mission. I need you to break into the headquarters of a hero team and steal one of the trophies they've collected.
That's a little odd. Why is that odd? I kind of thought you were a hero. Yeah.
I work for the US government and the heroes are free agents and rogues. They don't always play by the government's rules and sometimes we need to get things from them. So let me get something straight. We, oh I'm sorry, he killed a hero and then we got arrested by a hero.
But then they gave them to you and now you're freelancing us to get back at the heroes that we technically killed and they arrested us. It's a different group of people and you can't murder and this particular mission, you can't shed blood so you can't kill anybody. And if you do kill anybody. Lame.
Come on. You have to know restraint sometimes. So on this mission you can't kill anybody. Wait, wait, you just said no restraint.
Why would you? No, why would you then to KN, O-W, you have to know restraints. Okay. I like Knox's idea better.
Well, he said the damn words, but you know, context. So anyway, what we need to do is we need you to go in and steal an item for us from the trophy room of a group of heroes. So do that and don't get caught. And if you do get caught, we're going to announce connections with you, of course, and don't kill any of them.
What's this item we're supposed to be getting? It is a doorknob. A doorknob. Yes.
Tits needs a knob. Oh, I'm going to high five Knox. He high fives that I, while staring at Golden Arrow. You guys are seven year olds.
I don't care if you call me names. So we're going to do this mission and we're going to do it tomorrow. So get ready, get prepared. If you have any other questions, you can ask me, if you'd rather go in blind.
That's your, that's your funeral. Golden Arrow. What's the heroes? Go ahead.
That was just going to say who are the heroes. The new Paragons. The new Paragons, all right. Yes.
What do they do? It's a group of heroes out of Forest Art City. Well, yeah, but I mean, like who is going to be there? Usually on the team is a hero named Om, a hero named Light Speed, Rubber Maiden, Shift, and White Matter.
Can we maybe slow it up and I don't know what the distraction thing has worked for us in the past. So maybe make a distraction, draw them out. We go in, that kind of thing. That's fine by me.
You guys work out your plan. Cool. All right. So let's start brainstorming.
If only we could enlist to help on my old teammate, the orchestrator. I haven't heard from him since we were captured by Shelter Girl. Unless I heard he was being made into lipstick. Okay.
Did the robot monkey, did you guys fix the robot monkey? Because he's like, he seems different now. He's, um, he really did. I don't know.
Yeah, we must have recovered from a very, very, very recovery file. Apparently, look, you're going to have to go into this mission without me. So make whatever plans you want to make, uh, because they know me and if they see my face, then, you know, there's going to be issues. So, um, I can't be part of it.
I will be on the outskirts at the rendezvous point. So you will go in, you will get the object and you will come back. Do they have any sort of security since you know them? I mean, you should know that, right?
I'm sure that they do. I'm sure that their base has some sort of security system. Well, you're so helpful. Thanks for all of that wonderful information.
Hey, if you don't want to hang out with me, you shouldn't have murdered a man in the street. I did no such thing. Oh, well, wait. Yeah.
Yeah. You're in a complex deal. Shit. Hello.
Maybe society shouldn't have murdered my own teammates like orchestrator who was a whale. Wait, was he an actual whale like in the water? Yes. I don't think you do so well in water.
Like, I don't think that would work as if like a team dynamic. Well, that doesn't matter now. I guess it is going to move, but still. Okay.
All right. Well, I'll come collect you tomorrow. I'm going to be a trailer and then he leaves. Goddamn, we'll just thinking about monkey puns for other real names.
Just animal puns. Is that what we're doing now? Yeah, basically. There's got to be something with a rangutan.
I don't know. Anyway, let's workshop this. Yeah. We'll do that.
We'll do that later. So what do you guys do in the coming day? Well, I mean, what do we want to do? Like, how do we want to go about this?
Knox retreats to his room and goes on the computer and investigates. Okay. Do not talk you to golden arrow. Dang.
He's really mad at you. Yeah, it wasn't out. I mean, I kind of don't get why. Seriously?
I mean, I think I really don't know. I mean, what is your take on it? My take on it is that he kind of trusted you and you kind of fucked with that. So I mean, I'd be pissed too.
I mean, like, what was the biggest part? Oh, no, I'm not a 14 year old boy. Well, true. But you were there.
Yeah. Like, what is the thing I should be apologizing for? I don't know. Maybe having some Czech hands cut off and not telling him about it or helping his psycho of a daughter, I think, is what you told me she was, but I still don't quite believe you.
Well, I guess I'm sort of seeing your point. Should I go apologize again? You think that's like the road to recovery here? You've already apologized once.
Just give him some space for now and then try again later, maybe. So I don't think he's going to be open to it right now. Okay. Why am I giving your relationship advice?
Is this my life now? I mean, you're like my only friend here. Oh, sweetie. What?
Now I just need to hug you. Says, Ali, not dead. I know. I was like, oh, sweetie.
I think like it's punctuated with like a copy of a gun. I'm like, oh, sweetie. Oh, he got feelings. I'm a killer.
Feelings. They're so, no. Feelings are gross. No.
Shit. What were we doing? I said you were my only friend. Oh, that's a little sad.
In the canon, in my mind, it has been the equal amount of time from when I last said it. Continuing on. Just awkward moments. Go on there.
Well, apparently stand up, dejected and walk away. Walk upstairs, I suppose. All right. So what was everybody else doing?
Sit in my room. Sit. All right. Can I look up more about maybe security of the new Paragon's place?
Sure. Yeah. Yeah. What are you looking for?
Any particular? I just want to know kind of like, where's it at? If there's any blueprints on it to see like who built the area? If it's probably got to be contracted out to somebody.
Try to see if I can hack into their systems and figure out what the fuck is going on. Okay. All right. So you're going to look up about their base of the particular role research.
If that's a skill. I have I have investigated burglar. Investigate. Roll that one.
Is that investigate the new Paragons? Goddamn it, Siri. This is how I hack apparently. That's a series.
Siri, please hack. I don't watch the role. So I only got it too. Okay.
All right. So you got it too. You know a little bit about their base. You find article where they're like, they got a new base or when the new Paragons came back, which only was like a few months ago.
Well, like about half a year ago. The new Paragons finally came back or the Paragons came back and they got a new base. Um, well, we've answered old one or whatever. And they're like, oh, it has state of the art sensors and security systems, but they don't need that much since blah, blah, blah has this power and blah, blah, blah.
Wait, wait, wait, it says blah, blah, blah. How are we? When they talk about light speed and how fast he is and like once he's alerted, he could be there in a moment. Oh, fuck.
So they're like, they don't need all they need is good alarm because light speed will be there and a flash. And then there's like a big long interview with light speed and he talks like forever and hits on the reporter for a long time and then talks forever more about himself and his new video game and how he was going to be putting an MMO and just on and on and on and on. Wait, so he's sitting on this reporter? Yeah, like during the interview, like they have that like they have an interview up and he's just like he's sitting on the reporter and like talking about himself and action figures and brand deals.
Okay. Knox makes a note that he hit the reporter that he's easily swayed by attractive women. Okay. All right.
You're gonna put on a dress or you're gonna bug money yet? I mean, yes. Let's do that. I'm gonna do that.
That's not what I had planned, but I'm gonna do that now. Wait, can Ruben, Novo, transform into a dress? Ruben, Novo, to craft a dress and put it on himself. What are you actually doing?
Well, I mean making it over that because I feel like that can be useful. All right. What's everybody else up to? I want to try to use my contacts to get in touch with one of my old teammates.
All right. Do you have a name for this teammate? Up on his name for this teammate? It's the Orangas Strangler.
Nice. Nice. He was a stealth villain. Well, okay.
All right. You call up the Orangas Strangler. Bob at Mage is looking pretty good right now. It doesn't mean Alex.
Oh man. I got a plus three to my roll. I rolled a four. Okay.
What kind of response do I get? He's like, I haven't heard from you in a long time. You sound different, Orangas Strangler. Yeah, I've had a rough couple months.
Do you have any intel that you could give us on the new paragons? I've held them once a little while ago. I got away, but they're rough. What do you need to know?
With your self abilities, what do we need to know about their base? What do we need to look out for? I'm going to end up dead like Baboona Tick. God damn it.
Was that character a hybrid of Baboon in a tick? It was crazy. I was thinking more of like a Baboona Tick, but I like a tick idea better. This is like a way to be a part of your six people's blood.
Blood attaches to him for weeks without them noticing. Yeah, Baboon attaches to the back of your neck. You're like, you know, simply like he's a really tiny Baboon. He's the size of a tick.
How do you think he died? Orangas Strangler is like, I didn't go to their base, but I had an encounter with them. I can tell you about them, but I don't know about their base. Okay, what do you got?
Well, I fought Shif and I fought Rubbermaiden. Rubbermaiden is pretty much indestructible. But Shif, he can teleport and his portals, and he's really, really strong. So if you can do anything, just avoid those two.
All right, good to know. Rubbermaiden will be out. See you later. I'll go tell them the info.
Okay. Rubbermaiden, you said she's indestructible? That's what she said. Yeah, that's what she said.
I wonder how she's indestructible. I guess do things just bounce off of her, and that's how she's indestructible? So she's rubber and someone else is blue. Ah, I get it.
Wait, do we need some glue? Rubbermaiden, do you have any horse compatriots? Let me get that too on that. Oh my god.
That's a good one, Cody. I'm glad. I'm glad it landed. I don't think glue is the method we should use.
I feel like we're getting a lot of information about these heroes. When all we really need to do is just get in and get out without being seen. That's, I understand you're all looking at me with this crazed look, but we've never done that before. That's the problem.
True. I don't really know what to say to that. I mean, you had a good idea, Golden Arrow, where we distract them with something and then everyone else goes in and takes the fucking doorknob, I guess, and then we back out. Wait, did we have a figure out which doorknob?
It's just any doorknob? Do they even have knobs? They said they updated it to the recent state of the art, so I'm assuming they just had automatic sliding doors. Why would they have it now?
I think he said like their collection, like their loot and pool, their trophy. That's the word I'm looking for. It's like a trophy there, so I don't think they just put it on any ramshackle janitors closet. It's probably like hidden or on display somewhere.
Okay. I don't think, I mean, not the brains of the group. So like, Nastas leaves as soon as he says that. Roman Obel, your phone rings.
Who is it? It's Baboom. Baboom. Baboom bomber.
Oh, no. I'm going to answer it. He's like, Roman Obel, I heard your active again. Baboom could hear from you.
Have you heard anything from the old team? Anywhere about some Nastes layer? Our worst friend? No, I have not heard from Nastes layer, but I did just hear from a Ringo Strangler who said that you're back in action.
That's right. We're going to get back attack pharmaceutical and make up company. Yeah, I agree. We should get the crew back together.
I'll start making phone calls. It's good to hear from you again. You too. Roman Obel.
Okay. I love that so much. Mattie asks if your group is called The Heard. Which I think it should be called now.
Sure. Why not? If you would like to offer us name suggestions, head over to YouTube. Where are we live?
I would suggest Zukru, but I mean, Heard is great too. Can I look at more about this damn knob? Can I search knobs? So you're just going to Google search knobs?
Please, don't be safe searches off. I'll let you. Yes. That's safe, sir, John.
Just you hear a knobs. Oh, come on. You see a lot of eggplant. They backspace is the door knob, new pair.
You find a small article that's about the treasures of the new pair of guns and a blogger got a tour of the new pair of guns based and they wrote a little thing. I'm like, oh, the cool treasure they got. And one of them mentions a door slider. And there's like a small JPEG of it.
What's a door slider? What? A door slider? Yeah, a door slider.
Like it looks like the handle to like a sliding door, like a glass sliding door. And like where the screws would be, there are like these long like purple crystal picks. They look like like kind of like stalagtidy, but like they're really, really sharp. It's kind of like on a thing under a piece of glass.
Can I go and can I print out the picture and show it to Twisted Arrow? Be like, this is the thing you want us to get? Yeah, sure. You can do that.
So you're going to put in a picture. Anybody else doing anything while not doing research? I'm trying to figure out if I have any non-lethal weapons. I don't.
You could just load up rubber bullets. I could. Oh, no bean bags hurt more. I'm going to load up some bean bags and a big old shotgun.
Yes. Okay. All right. All right.
Anybody else doing anything while Cody does this research? Nope. All right. Okay.
Vail into it. All right. You do go to Twisted Arrow. He's like, yes, I mean, I was going to give you information before we flew out about that specific device, but yes, that is what I needed to get.
I mean, a little bit more copper operation. If you already had this information, you could have given it to me. I was going to give you the information before we flew out. But, but, but, uh, just like the Rose the Paper up in the air.
Hey, all worthless. Ah, all right. Okay. Okay.
Okay. Anything else before the day concludes? Anybody? Uh, Knox, you know, Golden Arrow just wants to take a walk around the mansion.
See what is new. All right. You take a walk around the mansion. You get a good pretty good lay out of the place.
Uh, a couple of dudes walk back to the go hang out with me. What's going on? I tip my head to them and say fellas. They're like, all right.
Cool. Hey, do you like ICP? ICP. Yeah.
I forgot my instrument like ICP. Why? Is ICP. Like, oh, dude, it's a sweet band.
We've been doing some like wrestling in the basement and listening to ICP a lot. So like, if you ever want to, you can come down and hang out with us, uh, henchmen and wrestle and listen to some ICP. I mean, look at me. You know, I love wrestling.
Yeah. I mean, you look at, you look buff as shit. I mean, you can probably help someone who's doing like with a workout routine. Oh, of course I could.
I'm always, always looking to help. So sweet. Awesome. Yep.
Cool. Well, I guess we'll see you down there. I go for a high five. All right.
They give you high five enthusiastically or not. Yeah. All right. My henchmen are good boys.
They love ICP. They do. They love ICP and are moderately fond of I5s. That makes the best characters in the group so far.
Oh, oh, I earned roasted. Okay. So then if nobody does anything else, a twisted arrow eventually reenters the home. Yes.
Okay. He ran into the home. He's like, I need everyone to gather together. Get together.
What's up? What's up? He doesn't respond to secretly pleased. Does everybody else got it?
We got it. That's brings in a manila folder and like looks at twisted arrow and like starts burning it and forming in a trash can. It's like, well, let's see your information then. All right.
He puts a little disc on the table and it shoots up a hologram. The hologram shows a picture of a door slider that I described before. He's like, the paragons have captured what is known as the Dimension door slider. We need this from them.
So what we need to do is we need to penetrate their base, retrieve the item and bring it back to me at the rendezvous point. Okay. Tits want some penetration. So that's it.
We just need to get in, get that, get out. Yep. I the we're planning on going in tonight. We're going to fly into court, our city.
We're the reason we're doing it tonight is because white matter and shift are out of town and they are some of the more powerful members of the group. So you only have to deal with home, rubber maiden and light speed. Currently. So while they are out of town, we have reports that they will be out of town for about 24 hours.
You have a day to do whatever you need to do as far as surveillance, getting in, getting out and reporting back to me at the rendezvous point. Quick. Because I'm Q. What's up?
What does the door slider do? Like can we use it to get out? I would not recommend that. Wow.
Because it opens up into alternate realities. And if you use the door slider, you will be brought to another reality, lose connection with the device and all of your hands will explode. So if you leave the city or if you use the dimension door slider to get out, you will probably die in another dimension. Good to know.
Interesting. The device basically works by you, you push it into a wall and then use it like a door handle and it opens up a door into an alternate reality. If you don't know how to use it, it's basically a random alternate reality, parallel earth, whatever you want to call it. If you have the ability to use it or know how to use it, you can actually control where you go.
Since you guys don't, there's no telling where you'll end up. If only we had our own brains of our operation in our career, we could probably use it. Who was your own? He was a great code breaker, the Morse toad.
Every day that passes will. I do have a question. Why would you tell us how to use it? I'm not telling you how to use it.
I'm telling you that by using it, you will probably die. I know, but then you instructed us how to put it onto a wall, slide it open and we could stuff through it. It would be random, but still you instructed us to do that. Yeah, but I ran into a point where you might open up into a universe made of where the world is not yet formed.
There's no oxygen like without the ability to control it, your chances of death are 99.9%. I agree, but I'm just saying you gave us like the owner's manual. Not really. I mean that information you can find if you do enough research and it looks at Knox.
He just shakes his head. Well, I guess I don't have time now, do I? No. Well, speaking of these bombs in our heads, hey, Tits, is this our last mission?
You have one more after this. Dang. What? That was really, what?
That's a dang. Not bang. Please don't blow up my head. Okay.
Either way, all right. We're going to be taking off for an hour. So get ready. And then he leaves.