Oh, and I was. You did that to yourself. I'm leaving that in. Leave it in.
Hello and welcome to another episode of Villan under ground before I can be an order to get. That's why we are a real play faith based podcast in a super hero universe based on villains. I am happy puke and I will be the game mustard today. With me, I have three of my lovely peeps.
I got Phil and Stein. Hi, I'm Phillip, not Phil and Stein with 13 L's. You can call me Phil with 13 L's. We got Ali one a day now.
I was going to ask if I could be the Saratia Mayo. You can. We're always making a delicious brand with you. That's a studio.
And we got the code man Mountain Dew. I'm the nice ending to your meal. Do you drink it afterwards? You don't drink it there, right?
No, I drink all my drinks afterwards. You save your entire drink till after you're done eating? Yeah. What?
Are you fucking kidding? That's ridiculous. No, but why did both of you answer in unison? Well, OK.
You're saying it like a totally normal thing. Yeah, it's not a normal thing. So for me, if I drink anything while I'm eating, it makes me have to burp, which makes me feel like I'm going to throw up. So I just don't drink anything while I'm eating.
So you're entire meal before you drink any. Yeah. Yeah. I'm glad she had an excuse because I'm just fucking weird.
So you'll eat like eight crackers before you take a drink of like water on your shoes. No crackers and cheese. You got to put the cheese on the back. Oh, so it's not about having a drink.
It's about the cheese. So you'll you'll down a bunch of dry-ass crackers and sticky cheese and then have a glass of water. Yeah. Once you're once you're telling us full of cheese and crackers.
So let me get OK. Milk and cookies. You eat like three or four cookies and then have a glass of milk. No, you don't.
The cookies and the milk. That doesn't bother me. But I can't drink the milk while I'm eating the cookies. OK, so like if someone's giving you a steak and some red wine, this is way off time.
Like the red wine is supposed to come on at the steak, right? I'll like sip the wine, but I won't drink drink it until after the meal. Take notes. Only will was here today to help us break this time because currently we're at a sale date with even people.
Yeah, I think they're gross. You guys are disgusting. I don't think they're disgusting. I think they're just very weird.
There's been some. I'm down being disgusting. I'm right with that. It's a big trash version.
There's so many sandwiches I've had to wash down with a drink like every few bites. I like you have to have water. Why just say which isn't it? I'm just like every meal of mine.
I have to wash down water or drink. Yeah, my throw is not big enough to choke down a pack of crackers before I even consider drinking. Like this is disgusting. See, you just eat them like you eat the cheese puffs.
You just stick them in your mouth and let this alight of us soak in. If you're eating a full meal, that's too much alight of us. That's vile. You don't get any flavor profiles.
Like if you have a meal with like multiple different items and you're like, I wonder like, does the wine taste good after the potatoes? And then you get the corn mine and the green meat? Like, but no, just you eat everything on your plate. You scrape it clean and then you start your water.
Yeah. I don't know that the food pairing thing works because they are enjoying all of their food undiluted by the Coca-Cola's and the Pepsi Cola's and the Pepsi Cola's and the Pepsi's. I don't drink soda. So it's all like water or like a complimentary wine for me.
No, nobody drinks anything on this podcast. Cool. Any? Awesome.
Fantastic. Well, just I don't have soda. Yeah. I was going to say the vanilla Dr.
Pepper. Okay. I like Dr. Pepper.
Anyway, it doesn't matter. We are. Hold on real quick. Since we brought up Dr.
Pepper, raise your hand if you think Dr. Dr. Pepper is an acceptable substitute to regular Dr. Pepper.
Oh, diet, anything is not an acceptable substitute for anything else. Good. Because diet Dr. Pepper is the fucking devil.
You're here first. Keep this in. If you like diet Dr. Pepper over to regular Dr.
Pepper, find me on Twitter. I will fight you there. No, what is your opinion on Dr. Thunder?
Mr. Pepper. Do you like to get a second opinion? I prefer the Mr.
Pibs. Not really. Mr. Pepper sucks as well.
It's been five years. I remember when I said we should do this episode quick because I have other things to do. I think it's a six minutes to do this. All right.
So anyway, who remembers what happened last? I'm on Villanuea. Anybody? We stole a dude from a dude and I thought the red baron stole his delicious pizza.
First pizza pie empire. Who wants to do it for real? I guess I can. It's sweet.
Mostly because I'm still angry. So there's that. Drive angry. The glistage.
The glistage. So we went to this militia compound to steal this dude Pablo from this other dude, Pan Marocgett. Phil did have that part, right? Yeah.
We got the dude fairly easily, actually. And then as we were leaving, we got to the choppa, but there were two choppa's. And Twisted Arrow put all of us in one of them and took Pablo and himself and the other one. And then shot us out of the fucking sky.
Yeah, he did. Because he's a douchebag. He did the activate the bombs. Yes, he activated the bombs in our skulls.
We crash landed in a big old pile of these militia dudes that are now trying to kill us. Well, because if you were a pile of flaming corpses, you wouldn't have been a bunch of distraction. True. To let him get away.
Because he's permanently on my shit list. Now you're there in the jungles of Panama surrounded by militiamen and Panama rocket who was flying there. And he said, who are you? And that is where you are at the moment.
The end of the needles. Me amo es Stefan. That's not how you say that. He's like, you obviously speaking English.
I speak English vibe. Okay. Yama es. Signor Negra.
I hurt. Who are you? And why did you steal from me? I appreciate you speaking our native tongue.
Thank you. It's very accommodating of you. It's much easier for the podcast. So here's the deal.
Sir, we were a distraction. We were kidnapped by those guys and kind of forced we were slaves, basically. And please don't hurt us. You still sold something very special to me.
Well, it was either steal him or be killed. So options. Your dilemma does not mean much to me. I still need penance.
Well, I mean, personally, and I'm sure my compatriots would agree. We do too. We don't like that man. That's totally for me.
Don't like is a nice way to put it. She hates. Actually, we all can hate knocks. Do you hate him?
I don't know. I hate my head really hard. I'm not really sure what's going on. What's that helmet for then?
Well, that's what I hit my head on. There's no chalk stabilizers. Why is Barney here? There's no padding within the helmet.
It's just a giant nut like maybe it's called the electronic scope. Oh, God. It's just blood starts ripping out of the bottom of the collar. Oh, OK.
That was the power ranges. I love the power ranges. What are you talking about? What is he talking about?
He may be slightly concussed. Yeah, I'm pretty sure he's hallucinating. We're not medical doctors either. Just a little bit about ourselves.
We're not. But if he needs to be checked out by a medical doctor, I can bring him back. And then maybe I can decide on what to do with you. I don't want Barney to touch me.
I mean, it doesn't seem like we have much of a choice here. Am I correct in that assumption? Ah, I mean, everyone can choose to die. Well, that's kind of how we got here.
We chose not to die. Well, then it must be an easy choice. Please, this way. You're very cordial.
After our last encounter with people that wanted to kill us, it's kind of refreshing. I'm not going to lie. I don't want to kill you. I want your institution.
Hey, hey, Stephen. Stephen? Yes. Where's Curious George at?
Where'd he go? Curious George had to go back into the jungle we crash landed into. Will your disabled child be OK? He might need to see that, doctor.
Hmm, right. Please. He signals to some of his men and some of his men start escorting you back to the little village they have going. Stephen will go.
Yeah, I don't feel like we have a whole lot of a choice here. Real quick. What is up with Robo? He's going to, but he's being quiet.
OK, cool. OK. Well, when you get there, they're like, he says, if you would, for the safety of my men, several of which you killed. Could you please push your weapons here before you go into this area that we're going to hold you for now?
You can call it jail. That's perfectly fine. Well, we don't really have a jail. We don't technically keep prisoners.
But on this rare occasion, we're making an exception. See, I don't want any more blood today, personally. So I'd rather you not force my hand. I'll lean over to Knox.
Didn't we just break a guy out from being kidnapped? No, I'm not sleepy. I'll lean over to that. Didn't we just break somebody out of prison that he doesn't keep prisoners?
Yeah. Weird. Do you say that audibly or not? I mean, I whisper it.
He's like, if you would, if things work out properly, you will get here all of your equipment back. I just, for the safety of my men, so you don't kill any more of them. What if they deserve it? How do you know the ones that you did kill deserve it?
They came at me. They did not. In fact, you began firing a sniper rifle into my village, unprovoked. Well, we were provoked.
It was either kill your people or die. But that doesn't mean they deserve it. Please, just, please, I'm just a pie. Just put your weapons and be the basket.
I don't want to make this any more difficult than it has to be. And so the TSA basket way I walk through the box. Go get them on the other side. So what Dedi's going to do is she's going to put most of her weapons on the table.
But she's going to keep, like, a concealed. OK. Roll a skill for that. Oh, shit.
I should probably have my character sheet pulled up, shouldn't that? That's probably a good idea. D. I will say steal.
Roll steal. I rolled a three, plus three on that roll. So that is a plus four. Damn.
All right. OK. You're able to conceal a handgun. Steven will put his fist on the table and have a nice hearty chuckle.
The guy that's kind of waving you into the area goes, and they're very funny. OK. But he says it in Spanish. I hand him a dollar.
He takes your dollar. Doc starts playing with a detonation, like a little button. Doc, they take most of your suit off. They're like, this disabled child can't have all these things.
No. And they take off my helmet, though. They take off most of the actual weaponry and put it in the basket. And then you guys are in a room pretty heavily guarded for a bit of time, a load.
Is there anything you do in this room? Do we have a deck of cards? I don't know. Does that do any of you have a deck of cards?
Hey, Steven will turn his fingers into a deck of cards. Oh, god. That's disgusting. They'll make them very thin and splay them out and put up like they're like indented in the suit and the number.
So we're just playing with the cards. I'm just playing with the cards. That's vile. OK.
But harmonica starts like appearing from Knox's mask, and it starts playing. It goes to her bonnetica. But like, Knox's entire time was like, where's the noise coming from? Does anyone to check on the head wound of the child?
I'm not a medical doctor. This is a state of dark. OK. After a little while, what looks like a physician does come in, and he's like, which one of you needed help?
I'm going to point to Knox. All right. The doctor checks out Knox. I can't get to his head unless you take his helmet off.
Does anybody have a way to take the helmet off? Knox. Who's there? It's someone who needs you to take your helmet off.
Someone who needs to take my helmet off? Who? Your mother. He starts crying.
The guy asks, is he normally disabled or is it just he got like, what's going on? I think he has some sort of head wound or something. Well, I can't get to it unless he takes his helmet off. Yeah, yeah, we got that.
If you think this is like, if you think it's bad enough, I mean, I don't know how he normally is. But it looks like there's breathing events. I can fill the whole thing with water and put him out of his misery. Oh, no.
No. That will not be necessary. All right. Well, I guess page me when he gets his helmet off.
And then the doctor leaves. Sir, real quick. Yeah. Well, I'm just saying because you seem to speak English like I do.
If you're talking America, like am I licensed in America? No, not at all. I have the green and Venezuela and then Chile. That's fine.
You're just two options where remove the helmet or drown him. That doesn't seem very medical. Well, I'm not practicing. And I mean, there's no where you're not practiced up.
Quote, unquote. Is that what you just said? No, I do mostly. Like first aid stuff, I'm not like a surgeon.
I'm out here in the jungle to patch up people like get full of holes. So usually for concussions, it's nothing. You know, if you have internet access, look up the Hippocratic of. Why don't you?
They don't have that from the institution I graduated from. Stephen will sound stand there dumb. All right. Are you a doctor?
You seem to know a lot about it. I'm willing to admit that I'm not. That's my biggest difference from you to me. Well, I never said I was in America.
I guess I'm in America. Jesus. I know. I'm sorry.
I'm not up to your standards. I apologize. Stephen turns it. Not like a not like a turn to do a puddle.
It doesn't want to be part of this conversation anymore. All right. We did get gold arrow back. Very good.
All right. He leaves a little more time passes. You guys do it like can I roll an investigation to see if anyone is listening in? Are you actually backing your right mind?
Knox was playacting the entire time. I want to say, but I don't know if that's actually true or not. You can say that if you'd like. OK, but anyway, all right.
He's just going to lean over. Guys, I was just pretending I'm trying to get out of this place. The other means maybe they'll take me away and try to take off the helmet. He just tried to drown you.
I know I heard that was terrible. It's like he didn't know they had a crowd of gopher or something. Stephen's still a cussing mad. So he's a puddle.
Why is the water in the floor boiling? That's not water. That is even you. My face appears still in a puddle.
But like I have my facial facial features. It's not that weird. Oh my god. That's what it's terrifying.
Holy shit. You're going to put a water in a dirt hut suddenly growing a face. All right. A couple of guards come in.
They're like, all right. He summoned you guys. So come with us. OK.
I'll follow you. You two coming? Yeah. There's only one in the room.
OK. I'll turn back into a human. I walk with him. OK.
They walk you over to where the factory area is. And they go into a building that's a little more technologically advanced than all of the other buildings. There's a big bank of monitors. And there's a few other people in a robot suit as well as the guy with the Panama flag on him.
And he turns as you enter. And he's like, welcome. It seems as if we do have an opportunity here where we can all, how do you say, benefit? OK.
We, the child, the brain damage child. What about him? We know who he is through connections. I talked to some of my compatriots.
Oh, so you know me? Yes, we do. We also know some of your holdings. And there are parts we need manufactured.
And if you agree to manufacture some of these not so above-board parts for us, we can have a business arrangement. It seems as fortune has smiled on all of us. You get a cut on the back end of the profits. We get a quiet supplier who is a little more trustworthy than our last supplier, hopefully, because we had to fire bomb and destroy everyone in the company.
So I understand you don't like the truth. Yes. And he gets to benefit because we are an organization worth getting to know. Just as a precautionary, who was your last partner that you had to fire bomb?
He names a corporation that you're familiar with, the Coppertone Company. The Coppertone Company. They were pretty active a while ago. And then their stock markets crashed.
And there were mass deaths and a bunch of mysterious shit. And they all went belly up. And all of their subsidiaries went belly up too. And they were our last company we were in negotiations with.
But trade us. So we decided to, we needed someone new. And we haven't had anyone to produce these parts for us. So we thought, it's their independence.
You fall into our laps. We can have an arrangement. I mean, there are going to be some costs, manufacturing odd parts in America and then shipping them. Well, for one country, it might be dangerous.
We have Americans with those as well. We just need a company to produce parts for us. It will be fine. I may have to talk over with some of my representatives.
But I think, yes, I think we do have a deal. But I would also like to know, maybe you see that you have a lot of people in robotic suits. Maybe we can discuss more on this grounds. I have an interest in suits, as you can see.
Yes. And like, displays themselves. We already have. Only wearing the helmet.
Yeah. Wait, did you take off my suit? We already have an American rocket, the US rocket. We usually relegate our membership for one per country.
But sharing some secrets or information about our attack wouldn't be completely out of the question. Have you ever heard of a hero named Excel? Nope. Should I have?
You haven't had my notes. I did the research in the person that had the suit I stole. Their suit was Excel, or at least they had something to do with Excel? Yeah.
They just don't know who that is. OK. He's like, no, just like, never mind then. OK.
But I believe we have a deal. And then we can be let go? Yes. Where do you need to go?
Because we can fly you out of here. I don't mind. I have some friends that need to take a trip to America anyway. Where do you need to go?
Lapis Harbor? That's not bad. That's not too far out of the way. It's a port city.
So it's probably close. My friend here, he just has over two other men in a robot suit who has the Cuban flag on his shirt. On his shirt, steps forward. He's like, this is the Cuban rocket.
He needs to go to America for some business. Wait, do you just have different rockets from different countries? Yes, one poor country. Do you not know who we are?
No. No. So when our planned concentration, I will be the leader of animal. And this here, the Cuban rocket, or as he's sometimes known Fidel Clonsro, he will be the leader of Cuba.
He then drops dead. No, he's actually a clone. He is one of the many clones of Fidel Castro who decided to join us. He is Fidel Clonsro.
Many. He said there weren't many in there. Most were used as body doubles or target practice or experiments, but this one, he decided to use better than the original Fidel Castro. But now he has joined the rockets.
Quite a team of rockets you got here. There's over to 100 of us. Oh, there's one for every country. I'm glad all of you are blasting off in your respective countries.
Thank you. There must be some lost in translation. I'm not honest. I'll just keep that one way in pocket.
Yeah. Steven says having stroke. Yes. Should we talk more about Fidel Clone's stroke?
Fidel Clone's stroke is going to fly you back to a observer. So you can talk to him all you want. I am tired of this conversation. Yeah, I think Olen Arrow is here.
He'd give Fidel Clone's stroke the number for Grave Digger. Like if you ever die, put this guy in your will and you'll be back to life. So I will hook up some business deals and you will produce parts for me and I won't shoot you. But now that we have your name and you are involved in this, if you betray us, there will be dire consequences.
I think this will be a beautiful partnership. I believe we have somewhere to go together as well, yes. Oh, you're going back to America also? No, I just mean as an organization being involved, I think we have a lot of benefits mutually.
You said it like you were coming with us. No, I just mean to go forward into the future. English is not my first language. And just a question for your little organization for the Rockets.
Let's say that maybe I thought myself as better power for the American rocket position than the Kurt American rocket. How does one go about hiring themselves in the system? Well, you probably have to convince us that you are a better fit in the American rocket. That you are more apt to run the country.
Okay, I'll keep this in mind. I haven't heard of you, but now that I have, I believe that we shall go far and above and beyond and other things that Rockets do. Indeed. So are we through or do you have anything else?
No, I think it's time for us to blast off. There's no way you're making fun of us. It's not incredibly wise, but I don't care. Get on the plate.
Leave me. I'm going to get all my weapons back. Okay. All right.
You get all your shit back and you get on the plane with the Cuban rocket, aka Fido Clunster. You begin to fly back to Leepus Harbor. We get home. We play party in the USA by my listeners.
The whole thing. Oh, Fido Clunster is not having that. He puts on Luther Vandross, his favorite artist. No, a chain.
It's his plane. He overrides it. I have a plus one in AC. AC is in a skill.
It's burglar. What? It's only for AC. I don't know.
I'll change it. We told you about AC. Oh, yeah, probably. All right.
So you guys, you guys are flown back home. Yay. But Oakley's throw drops you off on the lawn. He's like, he gives you one of the little salutes and then he flies away.
Oh, Stephen makes his hand really big, sick and see him waving from miles away. Okay. All right. As you are home, a couple of your minions come running up and they're like, where have you been?
It's a long story. Oh. What was the one I hated that I wanted to take to the bricks? Shit.
Shit. It wasn't nice. It wasn't nice. It was a redgie.
Redgie. Yeah. Yeah. Redgie there.
I stink. I am. Why? Still?
After all. Come on. I don't say anything. I still stink.
He knows what he did. And I think now it's time to enact my plan that I've been scheming for so long now ever since I got back from our last mission. I'm going to go on Twitter and call out Sports Boy and his dad or whatever to a rematch baseball game. And I'm going to take the glove and the baseball bat that I got from the other.
And we're going to have a rematch. And this time it's personal. All right. All right.
So you're going to try to call it like, why do you need the henchmen to do that? Or do you want them to retweet it? Or? Need a field of team of nine?
Exactly. I've got nine henchmen. Unless we're playing the American League, in which case we'll need 10 because we need a dozen of you to hit her. Well, I mean, I've got nine henchmen, but I've got like you guys as well.
I figured she has like, you can shoot a baseball, right? With the baseball bat? That's the thing. I feel like if we got stretching, man, he's able to catch those pop flies.
You know what I'm saying? Yeah. All right. You don't hear anything on Twitter right away.
Fuckface. Okay. Okay guys, my plan is not going as well as I thought it would be. Is there anything else you guys want to do?
We need to find a way to get these bombs out of our heads so I can find that son of a bitch and kill him. Maybe go to like an actual hospital and not the one where they threaten to drown you to get that bomb out of your neck. Yes, true. I would prefer something less indie open.
I mean, I could always call Dana Ross and see if she has something for us. Dana Ross. She's she's she's foxy. She's the new head of my corporation.
Right. Are you guys doing anything more this day or are you going to do that tomorrow because it's getting pretty late? Stephen doesn't really have anything. No, we can do it tomorrow.
Yeah. All right. Late in the evening, you are woken up knocks by Reggie. Damn it's Reggie.
He's like, sir, the security team. He says they might have it handled, but there has been a break in in one of our factories. All right. We just fuck.
Well, I'm just I'm just letting you know case you want to do anything. If not, the security team and I have handled that. So they do have an in that I'm not mad at you, Reggie. I'm mad at the situation.
You understand? Sure. Um, so any information on who was breaking in? No, it's like the alarm just went off.
I woke you up immediately. Oh shit. The security team says that they are responding, but other than that, I think I kind of want to handle this personally because you only tell the security firm to back down. Maybe stand there ground, not not chase after.
I think we may try to intercede though. I think the others and tell them to meet me in the war room. Okay. All right.
Uh, that I and Stephen, you are both awoken by different henchmen. Reggie doesn't dare wake up. Stephen, uh, and told that Knox wants to meet in the war room. What the hell is the war room?
It's like, oh, it's the living, the second living room. We haven't really built an actual war room yet. It's just living room. Not just the least spray painted war room on one of the empty walls.
You're the worst billionaire. No, that's DJ Calvin. Does everybody go to the war room? Yes.
Yup. My factory, they probably have like security cameras. Is there any way I can like get access to that and like maybe try to see what's going on? Yes, you can.
You can try it. Yeah. Uh, but Stephen and I do walk in. Are you accessing that before or during or probably during like as they walk in just kind of like accessing it putting up on the screen or something or the TV, not the screen is like just putting it on the TV.
I use my Chromecast to connect it. I'm going to do the TV and print out pictures and just tape them on top of your TV screen. No one hands. I'm going to say eight by eleven.
You just keep putting up closer pictures. No, the henchmen just lean over with like magnifying glasses. It has, it has. You hand out like opera glasses.
Oh, God. What are the two fucking muppets that like sitting that little rafters up at the top of the, uh, welter is one, I think. Yeah. Yeah, it's Walter and Bernard.
I'm pretty. It's not me. Um, yeah. So you are able to access the security cameras.
It looks like about half of them are down. You do see one of them. There seems to be some activity three figures into the room and one of them. He points at it in the flashlight and then it goes on it.
The hell is going on? One of my factories is being overrun apparently. That's right after that we got to deal with Mr. Rocket.
Um, what is that factory make though? I don't, I don't know. How do you not know what your own factory makes? I have a lot of assets here.
Okay. Chip of Cheetos. Well, I mean, we do make chips, but they're not like, no, those are like computer, like computer parts, not, you know, snack food. Oh, okay.
Those are my favorite chips. This is a, if it was a snacks. Robos won't wake up his batteries really low. No, it's not.
Make a few plans and it comes back to Honshi. I see how it is. Look, I apologize for what happened in Panama, but we need to get the situation under control. Did you recognize anyone in the video there?
Can I roll notice? Yeah. Okay. Uh, Stephen, you aren't really super deep into the villain community quite yet.
Um, you do notice one of the people has like a weird faint glow around their body. Uh, you can't really tell because the security camera isn't super high quality and it wasn't super zoomed in. Um, I, uh, that I, you have been in the villain community for a while and you do recognize the mask of one of the assailants is somebody you've worked with once before named adrenaline. Okay.
Do I remember what adrenaline does? Yes. Uh, he has a bunch of chemicals in his belt that he can inject into his brain to alter his brain chemistry. Alrighty then.
And he usually does it to like dull pain or make him stronger. Uh, okay. Um, so one of those guys I kind of recognize. I sort of recognize one of them as well.
Uh, her name is afterglow. He's such a liar. I'm not familiar with this villain. Um, I'm actually familiar with who did you say that?
Oh, adrenaline. His name's adrenaline. Oh. Yeah.
No, I've spoke to him personally before. Um, not sure why he's here or attacking the factory. Uh, we need to deal with this situation though. I'm not sure what they're doing or planning, but probably something pretty vicious that afterglow is a real monster.
Is she? Yeah, we don't want to, we don't want to get blinded by her. Blinded by the light? No, no, no.
She emits. Well, it's a. Yeah. So what do you guys do?
I call Reggie to ready the chapter, the chapter. It's kind of like motorcycle. Yeah. He's like the chapter is ready, sir.
Okay, we all get in the chapter and go out to my factory. Okay. What does my factory even make? Cause I know I like set you some things and be like, I want to make this and that and this and that and this thing.
And we also do this thing. It's an R&D factory. Like you have research developers in your main tower, but they send out like their plans and inventions for like, practical testing out to a factory on the outskirts of town. This area is like a research and development testing lab for like experimental technologies.
Oh, so hell no. Okay. All right. Get the fuck.