Villain Underground #33

Yo listen up here is a story about some villain that they're blue. And this one. Done. Bye.

This one's Phil, signing off. He is dying outside of the blue hair's house with a blue little window and a blue core of it and everything. And he's blue. And he had everything in his blue.

And he is sad because he's blue and everything he owns is really blue. And this is a podcast where everything is blue. And the first guy whose blue his name is Phil. No, I'm not on this podcast.

I don't know what the fuck you're talking about. I'm done. And she is early. Um, blue.

I'm in need of a guy. What? I don't even know. Then up in a boos.

There's another guy. His name is Will. I'm blue. Robo.

No. Oh, oh, oh. And the last guy has blew his window in his house. It's also blue.

His name is Cody. I'm very blue because the Robo. No, but I died and got to cry. Cry.

Cry. Cry. Cry. Cry.

Cry. Cry. Cry. Cry.

Cry. Cry. Cry. Cry.

Cry. Cry. Cry. Cry.

Cry. Cry. Cry. Cry.

Cry. Cry. Cry. Cry.

Cry. Cry. Cry. Cry.

Cry. Cry. Cry. Cry.

Cry. Cry. Cry. Cry.

Cry. Cry. Cry. I have so many recordings of me saying everyone's such a good nose but Cody and you go fuck God, can we put in a super-cat of that?

No, crap, I'll have to go back and find it all. I have to go find it all. I'm not gonna do work. Shit, so what did happen last time?

Last time on Villains, we had met, I believe we were still in Africa and we had met Robonoboe's arch nemesis brother. South America. South America, whatever, Africa. What about America?

What about America? So the two of them were fighting, Robonoboe got extremely damaged because it exploded. The explosion, Silicon artist had some issues with the Keurig. Did I try to join the fight?

Was surrounded by tiny robotic monkeys? And was also exploded. And was also exploded in the huge explosion. I left the team, or Knox left the team, to go get Jeremy and everything worked out fine.

Then we went back to the airplane and then Robonoboe didn't come back. And then I think we just went home at that point and we met up with Lady Bird. She was like, hey, do this stuff for me. Oh, and I was like, hey, Jeremy.

Lady Bird. No. Lady Bird. No.

And she said she needed each of the people to do something and that I was real upset that she was given orders. Yeah. So there you guys are. You're in the mansion.

All three of you guys. There's a bit of a hustle hustle because there's 23 guys now around. We're like starting immediately after when we come back. Yeah.

All right. Knox is going to a point to Lady Bird. We're like, oh, kid right on that. I just need to go upstairs and do a few things before we get on that.

Okay. And then she goes about her business. Jeremy, feel free to get yourself comfortable. This is home now.

Meet your brothers and sisters. Oh, wait, no, that's kind of a cultie. Meet your companion. Meet your fellow minions.

Reggie comes walking up. You mean cohorts? Thank you, Reggie. Thank you.

Cohorts. That's a very good one. Nice. When you're up, the sort is one of those.

Can you give me one of those? I went to a junior college. Oh, that would explain it. Anyway, this is Jeremy.

Jeremy, Reggie, Jeremy. Have fun. Goodbye. He's going to walk up the park.

All right. They go off. Didn't Magpah give Stephen orders to impersonate the mayor and she. She just asked to get dirt on the mayor that you can use to blackmail him because he's very anti-crime.

That's right. And so I turned into the mayor and said I was going to go have sex with a bunch of prostitutes. That's what you did say. Yes.

So I'm in the fashion of the mayor and I'm going to the part of town where one would find a sex worker. All right. So you're a whore too. Maybe.

The red light district. I don't have that much petty cash. How do you think about it? Five hookers.

I can get five hookers. Five hookers. You're going to have to go down at one in resources. So I can get the amount of hookers.

That's what we have to do every time it makes a big purchase, right? All right. So you're going to the red light district to buy in order to get the amount of hookers. Yes, indeed.

All right. Well, dresses. Right. Looking in the mayor's skin.

Yes. What are you doing? So Magpah first ordered me, which was not okay, but then asked me to kill the leader of the rival gang, right? Yes.

Okay. Can I like research this guy? Yes, you may. Roll.

I have an investigate. Oh, yeah. I think yeah, that's why I use it. Investigate is the research.

Yeah. Well, that is a plus two. Yeah. All right.

You do get some information. It seems like the police have been unable to put this guy in jail. He kind of runs the mob in your particular neck of the woods. Is he like known for doing anything in particular?

Does he have known hangouts? There is a nightclub that he frequents. What kind of nightclub? It's kind of like one of those like hip nightclubs where it's kind of like young kids dancing on the floor and then there's VIP areas on the upstairs all around where like people pop in bottles hanging with that models in the VIP.

So there's no windows in this place is there? There are like there. Those windows are like blacked out. So like it keeps it dark inside that kind of shit.

All right. I don't think I'd fit in in this place either. Are there any other places that you frequent? That's what you get from a two is you get the hangout that he likes to hang out at the club.

What Jamba Juice does he use to? What is it? Where does he? Where does he rent his movies?

Does he go to the beef palace? Does he still rent movies? Why? Okay.

So I think what I'm going to do is like go to this nightclub and not go in because there's no fucking way I'd fit in this nightclub on two awkward. I will chill outside like on a rooftop outside the snowboard, a snowboard, a sniper scope. And watch for him and then like tail him when he leaves just to see where he goes. Okay.

So you're scoping up the nightclub? Yeah. Gotcha. Knox.

What are you doing? I feel like Knox would probably go up in the room and like get down his computer. I think I mentioned earlier touching the picture of like him, Robo and Donaldson and crying. But then after that he's probably just going to look up junior colleges.

Okay. He's going to sign up for some classes. All right. You're still like 15 right now.

He's like 15. Okay. All right. You know, sign up for like advanced like you're like you're having been high school in fucking months.

Right. This is not been a class after that. Can I look up like she wanted me to do something? Lady Bird wanted me to like intimidate somebody.

She wanted you to go intimidate all of the businesses down by the dock so that you guys can have a stranglehold on the import of town. Can I go? Maybe things about the people who have a stranglehold on the dock. Yeah.

We're all investigate. I'm not sure you had to do it. Is this like you can investigate? Are you ready?

Nope. I'm not. All right. I got it for.

There are a number of businesses around the dock from like like shipping companies and like like mom and pop shops and whatnot all around that area. Most of them have been kind of resistant from what you know from like your your men have been resistant to like giving into the peer pressure of like paying protection money or like pledging allegiance to any kind of criminal element. So it's like mostly just shops who are just like trying to stick it on their own and they've been relatively successful because the mob in your town isn't too big. So they haven't really taken over the dock.

It's mostly just about independent businesses. So like no show of force is really forced them at the dock to really give up control. Can I make a PowerPoint slide about all of the police activity in that area and around the city and like have like slides dedicated to like videos of like other mob members attacking other people and like heroes destroying things and like people basically just general destruction in the area and be like we can save you from this. Okay.

So you're trying to make a like rather than intimidation you're trying to like convince them via PowerPoint information. Yes and no because as I'm doing this I'm also going to like I'm going to burglar myself in there along with a bunch of my career and then whenever they come in I just want to like turn on the PowerPoint presentation be like sit down you're watching this rather than coming in and be like bashing everything and destroying everything. Right. I got you.

Okay. So to make a PowerPoint slide you need are you going to lie on the information of the PowerPoint slide or are you going to get accurate information? Okay. So you have to roll and investigate for to gather information and then you have to roll a craft to make a PowerPoint slide.

Shit. You're going to touch the Robo novo picture again. Okay. What is happening?

Well the investigation was a two. I'm going to wash and then the craft is a the craft is a negative one. So you got pretty good information but you put it together very poorly. Okay.

So your power like there's no clip art there's no animations in your PowerPoint slide. It's mostly just like bricks of text that kind of pop up or like or star swipe in. This is why I need to go to college. Right.

So you got really great information in your PowerPoint. It's just your PowerPoint presentation is kind of below. Okay. All right.

Fine. You rolled the negative craft. What do you want me to do about it? Intimidate is good when you go to the other day.

Don't pay attention to your black on the text. Why you mad me? Not mad at you. I don't know what you're talking about.

I'm going to click clippy for some help. Oh no. No. Robo will play clippy.

What if instead of like clippy he just has a little mini robo that pops up on his computer. Oh no. Like a friend of AI that comes up. Yeah.

It just doesn't know how to fucking operate anything either. Oh, I see you're not watching SpongeBob. We'd like to watch SpongeBob. Do you remember to play the cable?

Yeah. To Silicon artists. You are down at the red light district. That's not what I thought you were going to go with that sentence.

We need a low as it were. Well, what we're going to have Phil do is we're going to do a crossover podcast. We're going to have him write a smart corner for GLBB. It's like an artist does these five.

Can we have a GLBB Dylan's underground smart story? Yeah. I mean, that's Cody's area of expertise, right? All right.

Yeah. I'll get on that. Just take a note. I don't think I've had such people before.

I'm going to be dropping Knox's resources so you can get the finest of figures. Was that the plan? I like how you're going to make Knox to Rob Lowe. Was that the plan to look at artists?

Don't deny me my nut, Cody. Look, you can do what you want. I'm just saying. Yeah, I'm doing it.

I'm having sex with five fuckers. Okay. I'm dropping resources by one. I hire five hookers.

That's what I'm doing in this red light district. And then I want to take them to a nightclub. Coincidentally, the one that did I is scoping out. Yes.

Okay. All right. All right. So you're scoping it out and you see the mayor come into the nightclub with five ladies of the Eve.

Now the ladies of the Eve that you're getting are they like high class like I'm trying to quantify people. I'm just saying like what level of prostitution are you shooting for? Sure. Well, if I'm spending resources, I think I get the high class.

Yeah, I did like reduce one resource to get a plane. So they're not huckers. They're escorts. Yeah, yeah, they're escorts.

But there's five of them. The mayor comes into goes into the nightclub with five very well paid, very high class top of the line escorts. Oh, yeah. I'm just saying I think I'm going to get more use of these escorts than I am that plane.

Oh, okay. At least you get to write it more than one. You could combine that to enjoy my high club. Yeah, I do it.

By one more. Son of a bitch. No, we have a plane. We blew it up a little bit.

You can fix it. Did we find other one? I need all five of me there. All of me for the five escorts.

I can't sacrifice enough to patch a plane. You can just borrow an escalate. Jesus. Oh, okay.

Where did this turn bad? Okay, did I? You see that. Do you have any reaction to that?

Did you communicate with one another about what you guys were doing? I think so. Silicon artists turned into the mayor while all of us were still standing there. Yeah.

Yeah. So you know it's probably like, yeah, so I'm just going to laugh and then keep watching for the the guy that I'm watching for while also kind of bleeding a little bit because I haven't had time to go to a freaking hospital and I got blown the fuck up. You are watching outside. You see Silicon artists with the five escorts enter a little while later.

You notice, you do notice the mob guy come in. He's got a big crew of people. He cuts the front of the line and kind of waves himself in. Like he's kind of running the joint.

Did he come in a car? Yes. And I put a tracker on the car. Yeah.

Sure. I'm going to do that. You put a tracker on his limousine. Okay.

So I do that. I make sure it's hooked up to my cell phone GPS. Okay. And then I go to Knox's research facility because I'm sure they have doctors there and I don't want to go to the hospital, but I'm like burned everywhere.

All right. So you're going to like knock his headquarters of his company? Yeah. That's not how my new suit is doing.

So you should go there. You put a tracker on the limousine and then you go there. It's still a card is the club. It's bumping.

Nice. So I'm making a show of everything. Obviously flash in some cash. Spending a lot of money at the bar, like buying like the club shots and whatnot.

And I'm in the VIP. I'll be in just a dancing. So you're like making a big show of I'm the mayor on what these lookers. That's what you're.

Yeah. Okay. Classy. Also the mayor of this town is a lady.

Why not? Okay. Well, I don't. That's fine.

I didn't specify either. So okay. That's Canada. Yeah.

What's the mayor's name? Oh, come up with it. Betty Saperstein is the mayor of Davis, however, who is apparently boosting it up with the club with five escorts. Yeah.

Are they male escorts or female escorts then? Look how I may look on the 5050. All right. So you are there.

Knox back to you. You are making your PowerPoint presentation. You're just about done with your PowerPoint presentation. Oh, when you get a Google alert, you set up a Google alert for a bunch of things that you might be interested in.

So your phone goes off every time somebody mentions or the news mentions a thing that you're interested in. Is this what junior college gets you? Damn. Does the Google alert say, no, actually, haven't filled out your duel yet.

We saw such a scandal is going to be. No, the Google alert is for the shelter girl corporation. Okay. Stocks are going down.

No, apparently their early reports are that there is a terrorist attack on the shelter girl gigafactory in Nevada. In Nevada. Wait, yes. We did that.

No. No, I'm not. It did, it did, it did. You just get the Google alert that like early reports are in and there was a bombing.

They believe like early reports are in and then people are arguing, oh, there's terrorism. The other people are like oh, it's faulty factory. The shelter girl corporation hasn't made a statement yet. Somebody's speaking about fake news.

Fake news. Yes, somebody's like this is under reported. Next, there was a phone across the room. We just got fake news.

All right, but it's happening. So there's that. Okay. Like the finishing touches on this PowerPoint presentation.

PowerPoint presentation grab a few of the guys really are I guess all right so they're like you want to go tonight I'm not a pop so pop shops aren't open this late. How late is it because they're like a party and shit? Yeah, it's like club times it's night times I don't know what else to do I pick up the phone and I look at the Google alert And I look long and leave back at the picture and then I go to research more about what's happening in this this tears attack in Nevada It's early reports are in but like there's nothing definitive yet, so they don't know exactly what's going on Alex I want to get that deep dive I want to do that hacker stuff I'm gonna do that thing where you like type in your keyboard a lot and things happen right But if you have a second person typing on the second half of the keyboard maybe a little faster Yes, I told Reggie to sit down on the other side and type on the number pad You have another person on the mouse clicking Taking Reggie out hold on Hacking them I am totally hacking them Bell. I'm at Bell.

She's my number one henchy She comes in she's like what what's up ask her she has a degree in anything a degree yes I was a biology major. I didn't graduate. I was like I was like 14 credits away from graduating microbiology mostly Okay, you go away you get your degree. Oh someone fuck bring back in Reggie She needs to go here biology major you sit down and do the super thing with me I just went to a junior college.

It was just like a basic Matlers, I mean it's not much of anything. That's why we do support Bell and Fisher College get down here and hack with me Okay, all right, so you and you're hacking both typing on the keyboard rapidly. Okay, roll hacking I hack real good. I got three.

So what are you trying to hack specifically? I like I want to see if I can get into the shoulder corporations like mainframe and then look at the security cameras and be like What what emails are going where what kind of communication that they're talking about? So you are hacking that currently back to Silicon artists. You're having a good time at the club with your numerous call girls and guys I think Escort is just a gender neutral there it is so my escorts and I are getting crazy Like drinking a lot and making out with a lot of them like in public not hiding it at all right And then I think as it gets like closer to like 4 30 in the morning.

I think that's when I'm gonna call it at night Okay Still drinking a lot, which is which is a thing and then I'm gonna get in like a limo and leave Okay, but I'm not actually going to copulate with any of them Okay, so yeah, I dropped them off at their respective Residences, I think them for a good evening and I tip them generously in addition to paying for services rendered and then I'm more back into Steven and I head back to So you are headed back to Knox's mansion. Dada. You are getting medical attention. Yes All of you.

Yeah, your boxes are now unchecked and they can they'll move your your consequences up. Yeah Knox you are able to hack into the cameras of the shelter girl corporation. Okay Peek see what's going on you hacking to the cameras and you act you are able to get into the security cameras of the Gigafactory from the security footage you see that there is a fight between two beings happening in the Gigafactory and lots of damages being done Do I recognize either one of the beings you have to enhance roll to enhance Hold on Cody you have to look at somebody's iris and then So I got a two on the roll who's all see a skill am I using to enhance You get a three in enhancing you enhance, okay, you can almost tell it out you have to enhance again No, no, it's a forensic science the greatest scary. It's the best it hands all of the things This won't come across an audio, but Ellie is literally just flopping around Why do you do this to me roll to enhance again?

You have to enhance twice the first enhance never gets it. Oh fuck all right. Well if I'm using burglary I got a wash I got a zero because it's possible to enhance once less twice It seems like the second enhancing is it working, but Reggie's like I have a plan and then he calls in a few more people So like six or seven people And they give you a plus two to your next role on an answer. Yes, okay next world with hands 30 minutes always is the charm I got another two so it's three plus a two five is somebody fanning the computer to keep it from overheating right now Yeah, so what is like as the fan off the work?

Okay, so all five of you typing on the keyboard are able to enhance the video and You see the main room of the Gigafactory and there are two robots fighting and you recognize one of them as robo no And the audio comes through and the first thing you hear robo say is It's this robot no, but come on and the other robot says robo you can't beat us all I will be the one to kill you and then the other robot turns around and let big hatch opens on his back and fires out a bomb And blows up part of the wall he's just shooting it into the wall or is he shooting at robo no Well, he's shooting at you, but he misses. Okay. Do I know this? Yeah, you've been fighting it for a little bit now Baboom you must join me for what they did to us never I am a true loyal member of the shelter girl corporation So robo no steps into the light a little bit It seems like he's he's changed some his face looks a little bit flatter And he kind of has like an orange tint to him and he's kind of Like waddles around a little bit more than usual so he goes didn't taste my gibots So I'm going to launch gibots at him it looks like thousands of little robot monkeys attack baboom and start tearing him apart Did I suddenly had flashbacks for no reason?

And then the the knocks the the feed goes dead knocks I like looks around a room at all of a century and kind of like gathered around and he just likes to get out get out Go go ready goes. What if we try to enhance again? No, it's a slap ready across the face He's put points the door just get out after all the minions leave No, it's just gonna take the picture like off of the desk and just like shut across the room and then like jump on his bed There's silent we've heard from that room Silicon artists you have returned are you returning to the mansion? Yeah, I so I get back and despite everything I am a wee bit intoxicated And so I'm back in Steven form and I plot down on the couch in the living room and I pull out my cell phone and I dial up Baron Von heat.

Okay, so I bring him up. I'm like Bb h I fucked up Steven. What's wrong? I drink fuck it.

Do you need me to come down? Yeah, man? I don't know like my new boss start me to and I didn't want to but I was gonna force to and it's shitty Where are you? I don't know where you are.

I'm where you're currently living. Oh check your text messages And I drop him a pin I drop him a pin I'll be there shortly dope bring more booze No Not what you do and I throw the phone across the room and I pass out. Dada. You are at the Hospital alright, so I'm gonna patch up So I'm gonna pull out my phone and check the GPS where is the limo the limo has left the club Because it's been like the club night is over it seems to be at an office building I'm going to go there you go to the office building you see the limousine parked in the the parking lot of the office building and there's a Limousine driver kind of like playing tunes really loud in the front seat He's like tap it on the tap on the steering wheel kind of like jam in with his eyes closed So I'm going to assume that the guy that I'm looking for is not in the limo anymore So I'm going to find like a sniper perch on a different building and I'm going to use my infrared scope that I totally have To search the office building for the guy that I'm looking for because that's how my friends go to work Just like enhancing security fees Totally you can do yeah roll notice to try to find his heat signature five.

Okay. Yes, you find a heat signature There's an office up at the top of the sea before people in it. I'm going to shoot it There's four people which one are you gonna shoot? Oh shit?

There's four people do I recognize one of them as this guy's heat signature Just four bodies you can't tell which one is which Just kill everybody well fuck me. That's a plus two. Do I need to roll it four times? Yeah Well, that must have been a bad role it was a negative three That is a plus five plus seven and a plus eight so the first one is just like he has he has bullet-resistant glass So the first one is just punching through the glass.

That's why it might miss right? Okay, you you take out four of them like five shots ring out real quick One of the dudes is down because he's gonna be crawling away from the group of the other heat signatures that also to be like dead All right, roll shoot again. Jesus. This thing doesn't want me to win.

That's a plus two all right You hit him again, but after if you second starts crawling again Again, I fucking I can't this plus three you finally get You feel kind of ashamed though because it's like three fucking Shout to get it Okay, yeah, we're just not gonna tell anybody that took me three shots and I'm just gonna leave all right knocks You're laying on your bed weeping you hear a soft knock on the door. What what what you should you should really check out the news? Do you want to DVR I think you'd be interested I'll be on a second all right. We have it on the big screen.

I'll make you some popcorn I'm like that luck hold on Yes Knocks goes goes and gets his mask to obscure his crying But he also gets like a silk robe and like puts it on and like okay puts it like the hood up and everything and walks out All right, you go to the the big screen There's news it looks like there's a new chopper circling around the gigafactory Which seems to be leveled and they're like there's some mysterious figure rising from the rubble you see robo no Bo who seems to have changed again crawling out of the rubble Steven would like to grab the remote and change the channel What are you changing the channel to? I'm seeing it really cartoons Yeah First Actually going for like a regular cartoon network channel, but it's the like all on all the time channel Yeah, boomerang or whatever like old school cartoons. It changes the boomerang All right, you change the channel and read you like I think not do you want to see that? Do you want to see what's happening?

You ready? Boy I Ticking person cat team to what's on television right now. I don't know what did you put on cartoon boomerang? So they're playing old justice league Do you see universe canonical in arts?

Actually Hong Kong food that's not DC canonical I know Regis like okay, well, I'm gonna go to the home theater down the hall then watch the news because I'm interested What's happening so I'm gonna go that way and do that so Reggie goes off into the home theater the remote very very close to Reggie Like at the ground, but I break the remote Not just any they're watching like this happen Just kind of like looking around everything and Knox is gonna like step in front of Silicon artist and just like stare At him for a few seconds beneath the mask silicon artist like it gets right up against the mask and Like presses his face into it but like Flattens out his face and like makes it rap begin to wrap around like the whole mask and my eyes press right up against the eye The eye sockets or like whatever you're a sucker I go problem in fact. I do I have a major problem with you squatter You've just come in here and believe that this is your location your place. You're so malleable so changeable It's the only thing you do is just squirm your way through Society everything that you do is disgusting deplorable as if you had a solid thing in your body as if you had a solid stance on anything So you know what why don't you go back down in the basement and be the layer of shit you are in my life and Knox will turn around and go back to his room. Make sure listen next week when Phil has another character Steven will as Knox is leaving take a shit on the floor Knox where are you leaving to just back to the room?

Okay, you're not gonna watch the news. No, I think Knox is projecting his feelings a little bit Just a bit angry drunk and kid who can't deal with his emotions break So then you return to the house To the house I'm returning to the house. Just as Steven is taking a dump on the Yeah, he's taking dump on the floor It looks like all the henchmen are in the home theater watching the news they seem to be Raptured by something that's happening in the news Steven is watching cartoons The shing on the floor knocks in order to be seen I'm stopping it into the like rug that's in the living room Okay, I'm gonna make a note to burn that rug it But I'm gonna go see what the henchmen are watching in the home theater because cartoons are really interesting You see what looks like a destroyed building with Robonobu who looks very changed from last time you've seen him He's fighting a group of like police military who seem to be trying to stop him But not making much headway Robo, what do you say to the police as you are beating them the heavily? CGI'd robo Looks very different goes he shouts at the police look at the state of the world today You will pay for what you have done so he sweeps his hand and there's Mechanism fires off of him that knocks in some of the henchmen had seen him Getting shot at with It's like a armament that baboom had they now house on him the ass cannon or whatever He goes Cannon Fires on them he activates his red-ass cannon and blows away all of the police and the feed from the helicopters goes dead I'm just gonna be like well damn robo gruesome balls and walk away, okay Sorry robo I love you Two passes and then there's a ring at the doorbell So Congress are you well enough to actually make it to the door?

No? I have actually like legit passed out. There's wrapping in the door and doorbelling knocks and dead I both know that there's wrapping on the door doorbelling. Oh my god I will answer the freaking door.

Can I not get two hours of sleep in this freakin place? Okay, you answer the door at the door there are 12 men with flamethrowers and a man made of molten lava and When you open the door the man made of molten lava says my friend asked me to come and who the fuck are you? I'm Baron Von Heat. I am Steven's sponsor We have addiction issues he called me because he fell off the wagon fell off a wait.

Oh, oh, yeah, you're gonna need it Don't step on the rug. He's in the living room The 12 men with flamethrowers they all got flamethrowers and gas masks They all kind of march into the house and the man made molten lava follows behind them They pick up Steven and they're in fun heat looks at you and says where's his room? Um, do I know where Steven's room is? Yeah, okay, I'll point them to Steven's room There's be like don't burn the place we kind of live here.

So I can control myself. Well, you're dudes have flamethrowers I don't know about them don't worry about them. They're fine. Okay, and they all go to the Steven's room.

Knox. Are you awake? Are you sleep? It knocks it probably No, not just probably like a week but like on his computer ignoring everything else going on in the house All right, you hear soft knocking your door.

Hey, no, it's ready He's like Knox. I just wanted to keep you updated I know that you don't want to talk about a man made of lava. Just walk to your house and think it out now I don't know the fuck is happening. Just thought you should know.

Okay. Bye Great team The night passes does anybody else do anything this incredibly weird and eventful night I'm going to ask Baron Von Heat if he can burn the rug in the living room, but not the rest of the house I guess I could I'd probably say for if you remove the rug from the floor is it carpet or is it just a rug? I'm not touching that and if you want to ask me why you're more than welcome to I Mean no, I don't really care. What's happening to your carpet carpet is at least my concern Well, it has to do with your best friend Steven so I'm just worried about sobriety right now I'm not worried about carpets.

Well, I'm worried about a sobriety too since when I came home He was shitting on the rug and stomping it in it's not the worst thing we've done. Okay. Can you just burn? I mean it's gonna smell like first shit, but it's better than me stepping in it cut the carpet off of the floor and I'll burn it That's fine.

I'm gonna go get just like a kitchen knife that isn't very sharp It's gonna take me hours and I'm gonna be so pissed all right You you hack your way through the carpet um and as you're hacking for the carpet You know, so there's pretty nice hardwood underneath, but you are using a relatively dull knife to chop through carpet So you're kind of just destroying the anti-card would underneath. Oh, no, because I would see the heart Okay, this is me is Ali not me a step that's that I never mind I just don't give a shit. So now there's the carpet. There's a big square missing and in that square some anti-card would just scar to shit by knife So the next day comes knocks you are like when you wake up in the morning you there is a message on your phone to You it is from Robo no Bo and it is regarding a satellite uplink It's a it's like a text message.

It just says if you if you ever cared knocks You will you will help me and find Robo Okay So not skits up and like out of bed and he's gonna go wake up all the other henchmen Okay, just like round them up and take them out back towards like the hench the hench maze the But like is going to set up like targets and have them practice shooting in the morning and like sort of like adjust their positions and aiming and stuff and Then like sit behind them and look like stares at the message you do notice when you're doing this There are like 12 dudes like inflamed or like with flamethrowers and gasps and around eating breakfast with them too They don't follow your orders because they are not your henchmen. They're so sentiment Okay, they're not mine. I don't care. All right.

I'm just like they're like in your house and they're eating eggs and toast with Can I get one of my henchmen to like add up all of the stuff that they're eating and like tell them to make a bill? Guess we're just having friendly henchmen talking man Discount all right. All right You're trying to crawl the egg Sammies. Yeah, okay, so you go out for shooting practice in the morning.

What's everybody else doing in the morning? Can I hear the gunshots? Yeah, I'm gonna get up and look out the window to see what the fuck is going on He's gathered all of the henchmen for gun practice in the hedge maze Can ox even shoot? No.

Oh good Lord. So I'm just imagining all of all of the henchmen are doing the sideways kill shot I'm sure some of them are and it makes a cry on the inside Can I at least come over and adjust for that like he doesn't know how to shoot but I feel like the entire night He's been like researching stuff and he's like no just stop. You're not a gangster stop Yeah, one guy's turned around and he's like bending over sticking his hand between his legs Yeah, okay, so I'm gonna see that and I'm gonna be like oh my god. I can't get One good night's sleep without something in this house going to shit And I'm gonna go downstairs and I'm going to actually teach them how to shoot so they don't shoot their own faces off or mine, okay?

When he's been throwing a gun at the target shooting He's doing that thing where like you pull the thing back in the bullet shoots on the top and then trying to slap it towards the target Hangover and you notice Baron Von Heat and some of his heat-mizers are there Yeah, 100% great. He's there and he's like we're gonna get you over this. So we're gonna get you sober again, bro New situations are really tough on me. Yeah.

No, we need to get out of this as a bad environment. No, I think I'm okay Just need it some time adjust. I think all right. I'll get around here until you're ready.

Thank you any hugs Like like your modified hug just a full like embraces him like you know, I'm right that see it It seems genuine because you're not doing like a weird hug but you do bubble and it doesn't like burp rubber like throughout the entire Made of Right you bubble a bit and everything smells like a tire fire for I try to fix it up. That's where I got it is All right, Knox how do you respond to the message? He like hits a few buttons and responds. What do you need new?

Sin pack a data pack about a satellite of link. I seriously thought you're gonna say dead parrot there first I was like what I'm a pirate now. It's just like I understand and like smash cut to link them on a pirate ship out at sea If you want to do a full sea change to do fucking pirate adventures, let's go to the Bermuda triangle figure out what's up with that So what's up with the satellite uplink like I access it and I he's giving you instructions to like a specific site that had like is Firewalled that he's basically saying break in there shut down the firewall so the satellite uplink can be reached Basically, there's a physical there's a physical location that needs to be accessed so that a firewall can be taken down so that a satellite uplink can be interfaced with Hackett or get to the firewall. I've got to go to a place.

Yeah. Yeah, basically like go to this place and do it It seems like it's a relatively well-guarded place When do you need this done? There's uh no response Knocks just kind of like size and then gathers out the rest of the henchmen and like rounds them up because guys We have a meeting to attend to and then smash cut to the PowerPoint presentation Well at the docks you're going to eliminate it Yeah at the docks and like it's just knocks and a bunch of henchmen in a small room with a bunch of like the mama pop guys like stolen with like Can I have them like tied up and stuff and like knocks with it with a switch in his hand just kind of like slapping the board And like you see this area right here. This is your destruction.

This is what's going to happen I didn't bring all of these many here. So since your world poorly undercraft is like msp and just base Fucking powerpoint Yeah, roll intimidate Yeah, you intimidate the docks. They're like yeah, what cooperate with your organization I uh, I go to regi and I hand him back the switch and I go regi. You're right.

I'm so glad that I that you gave me this switch That's the Nintendo. Okay. Um Ah, I got it. I was trying to do long setup for that one I think that's where we're gonna call this episode of Zain villains on the grunt Easy.

Yes. Anything else anybody wants to do for the episode too bad? I have been your game mustard happy puke. You can find me on the twitter at the happy puke Uh, I'm Philip.

I play Steven silicon artist. Uh, you can find me on twitter I'm at canada underscore Philip with two L's I'm Cody and I play knocks and you can find me at co-3 Um, alley I play dead eye and you can find me on twitter at aluminum underscore. I died That's will and you he plays rewinnobo. Maybe sort of a little bit Um, you could find him on twitter at role will underscore If you like the podcast as a whole you can find us at shg podcast on the twitter machine And if you like the show, uh, you can be a patreon of the show patreon.com slash shg podcast Uh, we've got some decent rewards.

We used to give out stickers But I'm switching to magnets because magnets are collectable because we have a few patrons say hey We have a bunch of stickers and we don't want to stick them on things because we want to actually keep them Uh, so we're switching to something actually collectable. My bad. I'm an idiot. So But No, they are they're totally I just I realize I wanted something Actually run out of things to stick things on right?

Yeah, or yeah, or you just don't want to stick because you like oh, I like the Secret but I don't want to stick anything unless you have a stick or whatever whatever Does anybody else have anything to plug or promote? Arclay. How's arclay doing? Arclay.

Um, it is a actual play mutinear zero podcast that I run. Philip is me Um, I am the gm of it or mute master of it and Alex and will play mutants trying to survive the post apocalypse So check it out. We're part of the s how studio network you can find us on twitter at arclay podcast or just uh, search it In the itune podcast or anywhere else you get your podcasts should be there Yeah, and uh, allee and kody are part of glbb which we've been had the bumper on for since We like talking about this. Yeah And avocados I should make sure to check out glbb for the latest villains underground spantic that they'll be reviewing Yeah, we need to cross our episodes because the bumpers are fine But across our episode would be great So go ahead needs to play a character come on here do something and then we need to do a fan fiction of the characters from this show on there I think her name or the name of the villain should be come on here Oh, no Yeah, baby I'm kody i'm quid and i'm larly We're all host of good looks bad books a podcast where we read and discuss bad romance novels We go in depth on topics like what the hell's a Swedish parasol?

How many fingers does it take to make you a slut? Nice Magic be a clear dicks at people dyno penises and so much more So go ahead and give us a listen though. Please be honest you might regret it Either way, but we'll definitely brighten up your day and your asshole