Villain Underground #39

Hello and welcome to another episode of the villain underground. I am happy puke and I am the game mustard and with me today I have Cody. Hi. Hi.

Allie Phil isn't here to interrupt the intro and Mike this this time. I'm not gonna play RPM I'm gonna play cat well there we go and yeah, so Phil is not with us today So we're gonna be going with a three-man crew kind of like two live crew, but one extra You know, I know it's weird as I thought that three life crew was the actual name I did not know oh was it actually three life crew those two I don't even know don't take my word for it Okay, that's a mistake who would like to let us know what happened last time on the villain underground? Well, okay, I guess I can start this off But it's not gonna be as good as Mike's was last time you already made the mistake of confirming that you listen to the episode So yeah, that was my bad So we went to this island with some flip manjals to steal a lamp that RPM was bound to determine to rub Furiously which he did because we found it and he also found a monkey's paw which he used to rub the lamp at one point Because he thought that would so Jeannie came out of the lamp This is a real good recap. Jeannie came out of the lamp and was speaking gibberish No one can understand him so our camp thought that rubbing the lamp with his monkey paw would make the Jeannie Understandable except if that didn't work and then we tried to leave with the lamp because that's what we went to steal and That the angels tried to kill us while we're trying to leave We managed to get away from them But it took a little bit because knocks like a dumbass beached the boat in a way that made it impossible almost To get it back in the water and then the angels were chasing us on jet skis Wait, were we on jet skis or were the angels on jet skis?

the angels were on jet skis because silicone artist was a sailboat that RPM was dragging through the water and Knocks was on the yacht by himself like a sad boy. Yep. You guys are on the boat You guys are going away from the castle. It's like an artist is still a boat It's like on artists disappears completely and they all fall in the water because they're all in synopon artists He's an NPC mode so every time you ask to like talk to him He's like I can't wait to get back to the castle and then if you say something else He's like you should check down by the river.

I heard there's clues down there like that kind of shit So he's an NPC mode so you guys are on the water. Are we just going back to land? Well, which land is very important Okay, okay, that's a start. I mean we're that other guy go he's a boat still oh, well, he's just he's on the quiet He got intimidated by RPM asking to make out with him.

Yeah. Oh, yeah So we're excited back to Knox's mansion well, what's left of it? So we still have like what was the timeframe? We still have like what a week and a half to get or was it?

This thing it was the lamp that was on like a time schedule right where we could only do it like once every every full moon Yeah, every other Thursday. Yeah, yeah full moon. So the other thing we can just do whenever well It is a shipment that is heading into Lake is harbor So I mean oh that's right. There's a specific time that's going but it is on the ocean and you guys were saying at one point You didn't know if you wanted to wait for it to land or meet it halfway So I guess the time frame kind of is yours because you are on a faster boat.

It's on a freighter. Oh, that's true Let's go get that shit. Yeah, we should do that. We should we should pirate it on the high seas I tell one to bring any minions.

No, I don't think I brought any minions. No Okay, can we go back to the shore real quick? We need like a full-on pirate scene. No We I want to sing some goddamn shanty's damn it.

Let's go. Let's go rob a boat Yeah, we're gonna go rob the boat and we're gonna kill everybody on it regardless of their retirement status retirement status 401k You know, I'm not really I don't give a fuck about the Roth. No, I mean The portfolio means nothing to you. Oh, no, of course not.

It takes a couple of days We'll be a drive to pilot the high season. Yeah, yes, wait, but not only one in the yacht. Yeah, I'm I want to pilot Silicon artist Okay, right now right now. He's just in the mode.

So are we all I got a three so you're able to negotiate the sea pretty well And you see in the distance there is the freighter. It's a big shipping for a bunch of containers on it So I can't artist is like any lay down. I don't feel good. So he goes in the yacht No, he's a smaller boat.

He became a smaller boat. He's like, hey, I need to go lay down and lay in the yacht So everybody get on the yacht and you lay down. Yeah, he's the doc the yacht Um, should we be should we be sneaky about this? Yeah, we don't do sneaky very well.

Yeah, no, um, some of us motherfuckers are sneaky Not especially doesn't do sneaky very well even when he's wearing his sneak suit. Do you all have a good burglary? Yes, I have a good blo shit up. Wait, is that one of your skills and what is your plus to that skill?

I mean it'd be an RPG and it's a plus five. That's good Because I was gonna say we could just try and like uh try and sneak up on that and then steal stuff and then after we've already stolen it Rub it in their face and kill everybody. I like this plan. I like you RPM.

I haven't said anything I know you had that ability to die. I don't you shooting me with mind bullets Where the two of you just staring at each other this is awesome Not don't worry about it. Wait. Did you say that or did you think it?

I'm talking? What are you talking about? Wait, I didn't say anything. How did you get my head?

Okay So I guess I what's the weather like the weather is pretty calm It is getting on tonight so the Sun is setting over the ocean, but the weather is pretty calm I guess we can wait for it to get dark. You know just kind of maintaining our position just on the other side of the closest water hale Okay, yes, just on the other water. Yeah, you know whatever those waves. Oh shit.

Yeah Roll roll a drive to get close up being seen is you have disadvantage for carrying another boat? I don't know if disadvantage is a thing in this game, but No, no, not that okay that no I got one you get close, but you think you think it's pretty sneaky. I think you've voted sneakily Dm says you think this happened like chances are you fucked up That I's like packing an RPG just in case So I assume now we're waiting for is it already nightfall did we already say that we waited for nightfall or is it are we now waiting for nightfall? It's getting pretty close night nightfall.

Is that what you guys are waiting for? Yeah, I think so. Yeah, it's hard to see ships when it's dark out Right, that's just physics. I guess why they pass in the night Exactly because I can't see each other Actually, that sounds like that might actually be what that means.

I don't know It probably is what that meant back in the day. Yeah, yeah So we're gonna we're gonna do a play on words with that and we're not we're two ships not passing in the night because we're following them Wait, okay, I have an idea do it a turn to mm-hmm. I'm gonna pick up the receiver and I'm gonna call them It's it's not dark yet You're healing the boat I picks up What do you say when you hail the boat? How we have it like canonized like this is the United States or whatever That what you live in the United States?

Yeah in the United States. Yeah, you're in international waters at the moment. Oh shit, okay, I didn't know that That's gonna have Prince Albert Nick Just gonna like hail them. He's be like this is the US this is the US sub deep diver Hold your position current or do a position currently and we will not take further actions You are in you're in tangerine a top secret mission and I'm gonna provoke them.

Well, that's a seven Jeezums Okay, you hear you hear a voice from the other side. This is the cargo ship Maria You are far smaller than a submarine. So if you do come close, we will open fire Do you think we do not have radar on our ship listen listen? I'm used to I'm used to playing a game That takes place before radar was invented.

So I don't think that that's a fair trick to play on your guest here Catch me off garden shit. I'm not gonna hit the machine again ago Well, does your radar indicate that we have a nuclear missile on board? I'm sorry. Does it does it indicate that can it detect that?

Are you you? I'm sorry shipping cargo Maria capable of detecting nuclear weapons. There's some spotlights on the top of the ship They start pointing in your direction and you hear the rat. It's out of gunfire Guys I fucked up.

I noticed I was gonna do the thing that I'm good at but it didn't work They're provoked they're provoked into defending themselves. Mm-hmm. Can I Take to the water. I want to do like kind of like a given like a wide a wide berth there and come in from the other side But I want to bring on a drag What's the space with me our boat boy?

So just still kind of still kind of alley. Yeah. Yeah Yeah, so I want like you know and bring him because I want to hit people with him later Okay, all right. You can use them as a weapon.

Yeah. All right. Yeah, you could you drag up So you're you're running around the freighter in a wide berth Tokyo drinking a problem, okay? Rolex love to fight five total All right, they are firing at you, but they're not hitting you like as you're running around the ship like they're firing guns at you And shoot in the water, but they can't you because you are too fast nice somewhat furious that I and knocks you are still on the boat RPM is drawing their fire by running around the boat knocks getting closer and I can I didn't shoot at their hole Okay, Knox has like a has it set so the raming speed and he gets on the front goes by zimis ais Right, so you're you're on a collision course with your yacht to a cargo freighter Don't hit the boat with our boat knocks.

Okay. All right, not raming speed I'm cruising cruising speed, but I will fire some missiles. All right, roll shoot. That's a plus four What were you shooting for in specific?

I want to shoot for the hole like just above the water line Okay, so you're trying to put a hole in her. All right, you're able to hit the side Uh for is pretty good you blast a big hole inside the waves do splash up in a little bit of water gets in there But it's not sinking so speak. Go to the other than driving the boat your boat at their boat. Is there anything else you're doing?

Uh, can I roll resources to cap grappling hooks because those are cool? You just have Okay, cool. You're gadget. Can I hand one to can I hand one to Dead eye and then like shoot one towards the boat.

Yeah, go away. I'm gonna try and get on the boat After all shoot for that because I'm yes. Yes, I will make your own shoot to get your grappling hook onto the boat All right, that's a negative three All right, tell me how bad your grappling hook fails to get on the boat I'm gonna look at it did I and like you know how about this? Can I I'll do a trade here Can I look at that I shoot it and like he'll kind of like some like yeah This is how it's done and then as he's looking away it drags him into the water He's sure hooks but he's dragged into the water Knocks gets drug into the water RPM you're running around the boat drawing the fire.

What do you do now? I will attempt to approach the boat. So I mean kind of like a kind of like a drain You know just kind of like getting closer and closer with each with each circle Okay, try and make it out of the book maybe I'll make it through the hole That was just made in the boat. All right, so you're gonna try to go through the hole Yeah, is it big enough to bring Silicon night with me Yes, okay, yes, and then that's what I do what you need for me all right roll athletics.

I can do How's it nine good? Tell me how you tell me how you get on the boat fast? Audio I'm gonna submit to the Smithsonian for This is how you tell the guy to go over quinton tearntino Did I knock Scott tossed into the water and you're still on the boat in his cruising speed through the ocean kind of in the direction of the of the Frater I don't want our boat to hit their boat. That's a bad Do you have a drive?

Okay, I only put a cruising speed it's keeping pace that rammed it You know what fuck it knocks me that's another boat. I'm just gonna can I see Knox like flapping about in the water? He went right in the water in the boat's are going so fast that he just you don't see Okay, so I'm just gonna be like not this is how it's done and then shoot the grappling hook at the boat that is a plus six All right, you shoot your grappling hook on the boat and you are on the boat describe how that looks So the grappling hook like does that really completely and utterly nonsensical thing Where it like wraps itself around one of the poles on the railing and then pulls tight and that I just like yeah And goes sailing off as the boat just as the yacht just cruises away There goes our yacht not cuz you are being drunk through the water holding onto the grappling hook. What do you do?

I not die How do I not die am I still holding on the grappling hook? Yeah? Yeah, okay? Can I try to climb up it with maybe like an athletics or something?

Sure, yeah, go for it. I think not like wraps it around his foot and like tries to pull himself up slowly inching his way It starts yelling for help a plus two. Hey, I used to only climb the rope to get onto the boat Okay, you are on the boat now RPM what do I see inside the boat the room that you've entered is kind of like a quarters area So like there's like a couple of beds and a door leading into a hallway. Oh, I don't even like an arcade No, yeah, it's where they store the quarters from arcade to the back see Are there like do they have like foot lockers, you know at the end of their beds?

Yeah, totally what's in them close personal effects pictures Uh one guy has a handgun. Okay Maybe I take like some of that pictures Okay, all right. You take the the personal pictures. What do you call a bed on a boat a bed a Bunk a bunk.

Yeah, that's it's bonk right. Yeah, everything everything on a boat has a different name So you gotta name it properly. All right, so what else are you doing? You go through their lockers and you get the other personal effects?

Well, do you think I mean would you say like you know any of the pictures like you know they have any messages written on them? It was like maybe even like names of the people that are pictured would you say? Yeah, yeah, there's a you find a typical like Polaroid and it's got a young girl and a woman on it and on the back It says we love your dad and it's just like Janine and Michelle perfect. That's what I'm looking for Okay, I guess I'll I'll you know exit the hole the hole.

Yeah, I want to go up I don't want to go back out the hole all right, so you're going up to what like the deck right? Yeah, and it should be assumed that any entrance or exit that I that I traverse through I only want to do so if it is large enough to drag Silicon Valley behind me you you make it to the top of the deck as Dead eye is climbing over the railing and you guys see each other. Well, take you so long Hey, I've been here a while I had to watch Knox shoot himself into the ocean You should just she just drag him along like I did with a With I'm running out of ways to get his name wrong silicon artist Yeah, he's a little bit of dead weight though, so I don't know that I could have carried him up here His suits rather heavy for some reason not even gonna defend yourself with that comment it nobody that nobody's spotted us yet There's no you haven't come across anybody you are just walking out from underneath and she's just climbing over the railing I was gonna let Cody go one more time. Are you still trying to climb up?

You're about halfway up? Oh shit, all right, I got a plus four you get up to the top and you climb up after that I you're all in the same area now as a number of men and with machine guns come from behind a bunch of the storage graders And they start firing at you right it's a tad wait. Can I climb back down? I don't want to climb up anymore They get a plus one so everybody defend against a one with athletics I got a plus three I got nine again.

I got a one so you guys all defend against the machine gun fire All right, so did I your top of turn so I'm gonna hop up on one of the containers because run a run a Container ship, right? Yeah, yeah, I can't even ship so it has like it's got big old stacks of those like multicolored containers That look like the backs of some ice. Yeah, I'm gonna hop up on the top of one of the stacks Like climb my way up there and run into line closer to the guys that are shooting at us And then I'm gonna start taking them off You take out a couple of dudes That's our second submission to the submilt cement God fuck damn it All right RPM they are there's still a bunch of them coming but dead that I did shoot a bunch of them So okay, well, I would like to still dragging Silicone artist behind me. I want to sprint up the one of these stacks of cargo containers I've four men and when I get to the top just kind of like you know Do like the kind of like a little slingshot maneuver You know swing this boat over my head and back down into the nearest grouping of of said said dudes What would that be fight?

You're using a weapon kind of a melee thing real fight? It's a man Those motherfuckers with another motherfucker That's gonna be a five all right you take out a bunch of them. Oh, they all fall around his boat damage Damage Okay, he's just he's got all lip he's got he's got some sort of cold and he's listen if I could leave silicon artists in fucking tatters Knocks it's your turn okay, so I just assume that we're on the boat with the ship yeah Can I look for the bower or an anchor carried up a bove ship? Oh my god, did you not do it?

Jack power You're just on the you're just on the deck. It's a cargo ship. What do you do it? Nice stuff.

Can I stealth away? You can try to go. Yeah for it. I'm trying to stealth away and go to uh move towards the captains the helm So you are stealthing away the gun guys see dead eye and RPM up on the top of containers They are firing guns at them dead eye.

They're shooting at you defend against the one Well, I rolled a six so they're firing at you, but you are easily able to defend so on this cargo ship There's all of the containers and there's the deck which is pretty flat But then there's like kind of a building on it which has like the captains area and the place where the steerer of the boat would steer the boat from Out of that area a man in a long cloak or a coat Sorry comes out and he's like how dare you attack my boat the boat is driven by the vilifier and he puts his hand out And he's got a ring that's like a weird deep blood red ring and he points it at rpm rpm and make a will roll I will roll. Let's see the the geisters the boat is the helmsman by the way Yeah, it's gonna be a plus two All right, he got a four so rpm on your next turn you have to attack one of your allies I can do He points his ring at you and he goes hate and then like like weird red circles come out of his ring And they hit rpm and rpm seems to be mesmerized by the hate coming out of vilifiers ring I'm I had Canada. I like to think that rpm just seems normal That I it is your turn. I'm gonna shoot this dude's hand off.

What's dude? Fire I'm gonna shoot his hand off. He's got it sticking out so conveniently that is a plus six He got a three you are able to do three damage to him You are not able to blow his hand completely off but you're able to hurt him describe how you hurt him without blowing his hand off Can I blow his finger off specifically the one with the ring on it? No Did you somehow raise the ring through the hand?

I don't know why you're so concerned about his hand, but you are able to injure him You are not able to completely disarm him from the thing that he's using which is his only power So how about I shoot through his hand so he can't really like move his hand a whole lot Listen, I don't know why you're making that being his only power our problem You should have come more prepared If you would have done way more damage, I would let you shoot his finger off But you only did three so you are able to shoot his hand. You're able to shoot his hand. It does not disable his ring finger RPM is your turn I Been around on the spot. I just flinging silicon artists into a bunch of shipping containers That's the ally you decide to attack Three you did three to him yeah You don't you definitely don't get the impression that that RPM did that because of anything that happened with the ring Well, you see he seemed like he's gonna do it anyway And just now he had an excuse so now is just gonna sneak up to the helm and like I imagine There's probably like a door way with a window on it He's gonna smash like the window and like check in a smoker name and then yell clear and then just open the door and wait for them to like Surfiring at the door.

Okay, hold on. I don't think I understand what you're doing You're throwing in a snow green smoke So you're throwing in a smoker name and yelling clear than opening the door and then yeah I see okay, you're trying to fool them into firing onto nothing, right? Okay roll shoot for throwing the smoke grenade I need to get oh God negative to You try to throw this smoke great smoke God damn it You try to throw the smoke grenade into the hole that you created with your elbow But bounces off the glass into the area that you are in and feels where you are with smoke. Do you still open the door and yell clear?

Yeah, okay Still surrounded by smoke I guess they're firing into where you are but you can't see them well enough to dodge They do neck they don't hate you they are not firing into your area that is not full of smoke. Okay, the gun guys They are firing at RPM They got a two seven all right totally good a villa fire He's not happy that you shot his hand he points at that I he says hate and the waves come out of his ring again roll will versus a four All right on your next turn you have to attack one of your allies RPM you're not free from the having to attack your allies But I don't know if you're actually free So this guy you said was at the helm right he was coming out of that room he was coming off the bridge yes Can I see not no I'm in smoke no no you can't you know where knocks was yeah Yes, but I also I have I have blind fire which is one of my stunts and my shoot is not reduced by darkness blindness or invisibility So I can see you so for RPM There wasn't a lot of psychological stuff happening when he got hit with hate ring But for that I like you see the waves of the hate ring come over like they hit you in the face And then every wrong thing knocks has ever said to you every slight every problem that's ever happened since you met him Bubbles up to the surface and like in an unspeakable rage And this ball you can think about has disappeared every single goddamn time we're in a fight and I'm sick of it You're very lucky I really need some sort of interrupt mechanics. I could block the shot with Phil Oh god, so what you had a plus five yep, okay, so I have a negative one So you are hit with us what is it sniper ball that describe how you snipe knocks? So I'm gonna like get right between his beady little eyes in that mask.

I'm just gonna nail it right between the eyeballs Um that's a kill shot. I'm not dead yet. You're not protects you very it protects you it protects you pretty well So you're not dead but uh a bullet does hit you right in the center of the head and you do get slightly concussed Just a yellow what what the fuck was that? I'm trying to get control of the ship.

It's not many dudes. We got left. There's a lot of infighting. I'm not really sure Yeah, there's the vilifier who has the ring and then there's uh like a couple there's a couple of dudes You'd say like maybe 12 dudes with guns left But like with the fate system like every hit you do takes out one or two of them So they're you're taking out swasm when you hit them can I Aim Philip at at the vilifier's hand when I hit his hand with a boat If that's okay.

Yeah, go for a roll fight. Oh, that's not good though. That's less than I wanted You can spend you can spend a fate point. You have three fate points again Again if you can invoke an aspect you can reroll Wait, wait if I've got if I've got three fate points Can I go um can I go use between seconds again and hit him three times with a boat four times?

Okay, um, you know, I feel like this guy's gonna need to get hit By boat at least a couple of times. Um, so I'm gonna I'm gonna use I'll use one fate point. Okay. I'm gonna hit him with the one two combo Uh, so now I should roll fight or do you want to take that fight?

Did I do a fight roll already? Yes, I did. Yeah, you did take that one. Yeah.

Yeah, so then you would for your second attack you could roll another fight What do I do if that one also misses They both miss I wait what are your numbers because he could roll bad on his defenses. It's not like a miss or hit thing. Okay, um, Yeah, plus three minus Four Okay, so negative one. Yeah, is that good?

No, that was my first no my second one. The first one was zero. Okay. Uh, he got a zero for the first one.

So you tied My boat strike. Yeah, uh, let's see if he gets worse than a negative one. Uh, he got a One. So yeah, no, he blocked both of your boat strikes guys.

This guy's good He blacked my boat like it was nothing. Oh, no. All right. Well since now I'm fucking concussed because someone shot me in the forehead I think not sees like rp.

I'm struggling with this billifier guy And he's just runs out of the smoke like keep flapping and runs up and tries to punch the vilifier All right, roll fight. That's negative two Rolled zero He takes a swing at him and barely clearly misses and he's like take that evil doer Hi, yes, bro. All right. The it's not as machin gun guys.

They are shooting at dead eye and they got a negative one I got a plus three. Okay. They don't hate you the vilifier sees knocks now and he's like he points his ring directly in your face and goes Uh, roll a will versus three Goddamn it. I have good with It's a one.

Are you guys better fake point or you're gonna stick with the one? I'm gonna spend a fake point. I fucking fucking my fucking heavy three. Well, I beat it already.

I don't fucking overdose Pissing me off. Okay there. I got three Okay, uh, you tie he was trying to bubble bridge in your mind, but you were able to stave it off Dada you are now free from the vilifier's effect. It is your turn.

I am still incoherently angry So I'm gonna swing at my sniper rifle back towards the vilifier and this time I'm gonna go for a headshot because this fucker Just mind fuck me and I'm not okay with that plus eight Okay, so um you don't kill him, but you hit him real good. He's pretty messed up. I guess I'll I'll try and hit hit him in um, not like Like which knuckle is the ring position? It's where it's ring finger like up up here where normal person.

Okay. Okay. Perfect Uh, that's where I want to hit him. Um, I'm gonna just like I'm just gonna I'm basically a whirlwind of broats right now Um, I'm gonna go ahead and you I'm just gonna do it once we're gonna see what happens because I don't wanna we have if I'm gonna whiff I don't want to whiff as bad as I did.

Um, oh That is good though. Um, would you say that in uh that is seven? Well for fight really? Yeah, I got I got four successes Oh nice.

Uh, yeah, he rolled a one so you could do uh, someone's wanted you to six to him right to the knuckle You bust his hand into pieces and he falls down. Uh, you basically knocked him out. So tell me how you knocked him out by smashing his hand Um I said okay, so I smashed his hand and the force kind of travels through the hand Um kind of obliterating it into into into like shards as you said, um, the ring becomes separated and As he gasps in pain the ring finds his way into its into his throat. Um, and he's now uh, yeah struggling to breathe and passes out for the lack of oxygen That happens.

Can I kick him? Yeah, he's down but yeah, you can kick him Kick him in the stomach so the ring pops out again. We need it. Okay.

I kick him on the stomach and hopefully the ring pops out All right, roll fight Fuck is it fight if the guy's unconscious on the ground? He's taking the one Okay, you give him like kind of a sissy kick to the stomach He's like yells out at shooting me wait. He wakes up the machine gun guys still fire onto That dude all the machine guys they get a four they roll well. Oh shit.

Uh, I'm gonna use another fake point to Like activate my stealth thing and then I'm gonna grab him and pick him up and we can't at burn. He's him Except not really we can do burning because I'm using him as a shield I'm gonna use my still so that's a three. So I take one okay. So yeah, you take one your wing to buy a bullet The bullets fly at you and hit him a little bit, but also wing you in the shoulder Uh, I'm just gonna start like I wish I had some sort of like massive Area of effect damage, but I don't lame Wait, oh, I'm gonna shoot an RPG of them.

I'm like going over the top because I'm still really pissed off I'm into it. That's my kink Good plus six you blow up the rest of the machine gun guys. They are all done now There's like a bunch of boat nameage and everybody is down and the boat is under your control When you say boat damage are you talking about Phil? Uh phil is kind of flopping around.

He's kind of a deflated dinghy at this point. Oh I thought he was a wooden boat Yeah, but he is a man made of rubber so like yeah, but this just got a lot less cool in my head I was imagining like shards of wood like shooting out all over the place and like okay. Well, that's fine We can we can say that He turned into a wooden boat man. Yeah, we're just gonna we're just gonna completely just like drag him through the mud not just physically but also In our peace sense.

Yeah, sure why not? So you get from missing? He's not he's now he's now would artist That's yeah, that sounds like a stage name Yeah, you guys are in control of the boat. I'm gonna look for that stuff that we're here for the Zenithium.

How are you going about that? I'm going to look in their records. All right, so you're searching the records Uh the boat is still kind of going an autopilot. Are you gonna do anything about the it's still seaworthy though?

Uh, yeah, it's starting to take on a bit of water through the waves. Uh, yeah You got it. We got it's still floating at the moment, but it's probably won't be floating for forever Okay, but you don't think we'll be able to make it back to shore with this boat. Probably not.

Okay. Yeah, I could go back to the yacht super fast And get it. I mean, I don't know how to drive it. I'll do it You can rudimentary instructions.

It's gonna have to be very rudimentary. Oh, I forgot. God damn it I was gonna use the the picture of Janina Michelle is psychological torment But now you just have it. Yeah, no, I just have it you can put it in the spokes of your wheelchair like a baseball card Yeah, I'm gonna put it on the dash of the of the yacht So there's a concert reminder.

All right, so what's everybody doing? I'm gonna go up to the villifier. Can I tell he's alive? Uh, he's he's alive, but knocked out but like kind of barely he's got a couple of gunshot wounds and his hands all busted up You should get that ring though.

Can I take the butt of my gun and just like smash it into his face? Yeah, are you trying to kill him? Yes. All right.

You you kill him. He's just a dude with a ring I imagine you just like Give me that ring though. Give me that ring though I mean if you want to dig it out of the bloody meat pile that is his face go ahead worth it. I don't want Are you gonna make me do this are you looking through the records or digging for the ring?

You guys make I'll look through the records. So Alex, I'm mad at you for not forcing me to take phase in this At this moment I was an option. I came to the option. It was an option Did I is just gonna reach into the bloody meat of this guys?

What was this guy's face and take the ring? Okay, um On his clothes. All right, the ring the the ring has a nice aura about it. It's glowing You can feel like emanating rage coming out of it.

Does the ring only do hate or does it do other ones? It only does hate. Oh, do you want to know the the the history of the ring? Yes.

Yes. So roll or yeah, I don't have that All the fucking minus three ice to rate up. Don't give a shit. It's just mine now So if I don't have it, can I still roll it?

It's just I don't get a bonus. Yeah, yes. So I got two It's it's pretty famous because uh people know of the adventures a long time ago There were a group of sassy teens who had five rings Each of them had a control of a different element. Oh and one of them was heart And a group of villains created a antithesis of those rings and there there were five of those as well And one of them was the antithesis of the heart ring, which was the hate ring So that is this particular guy's ring Well your powers combined Had sometimes summoned a man named admiral earth And he has not been summoned for a great number of years Wait, wait, so wait if that's what the the spunky teenager someone what what did the villain summon?

Uh, it was uh corporal anti-natter I think it was like uh because it was captain pollution in the show. So it'd be like corporal corporal sludge Admiral yeah Admiral sludge something like that He wasn't as popular as admiral earth So you guys know in like in captain planet how they had like five rings You guys know why they have five rings? Because five is a cool number because if you tried to do it with any lesson that they'd summon captain planet He'd be like missing body parts like gone Who summons the torso? Arguably they're the most important I would say Exactly It's probably heart right.

Oh, yeah, that makes most sense. But yeah, so this is the hate ring of the anti-planet rings I'm just gonna put it in my pocket. Okay. This might come in handy later What else does this boat have it's got the it's got the stuff we're going for but like is there anything else?

Oh, there's tons of shit It is loaded to the gills with all sorts of shipping stuff There's like materials and like a whole thing. There's a couple of like really nice cars There's some that are like blacklisted. You can't find the nithium on the the manifest But there are a couple of containers that don't hold anything. They're like basically like blacklisted quote-unquote empty containers So they're like not on the manifest, but they're on the boat.

That makes sense. Yeah These containers like three of them so there's ones and funny I can face through them Yeah, so there's three that are black or like black on the the manifest so there's like there doesn't seem to be anything on the manifest for them But there's only three of them. So what do you do? Just like dash through them all and open them.

Okay. Yeah, I guess you could do that Um a lot of them are stacked in weird things or weird situations So some of them are a little more difficult to get through but you can you can dash through them I can I can run up walls. Yeah, you can so you are dashing through those. What's everybody else doing while he's dashing through the containers?

I thought wait, I thought rp I want to get the yacht Oh, yeah back Okay, he's fast like that. You know, yeah, yeah, okay. Are you guys stopping the boats? Is that what's going on?

We should probably stop the boat. Yeah, I'll probably just stop the boat. I'll just let him sink where it is Well shit, I just kind of set the throttle on the yacht and I came back so Let me stop that boat. Good news is it's it's moored to the to the ship I just I just made that up, but it's true.

So you you tie the boats together. You're stopped in the middle of the ocean You're going through the containers. What are y'all two doing while he's going through the containers? I'll help him.

I mean, okay. I do not want to be around knocks right now. Okay, get that ring. Let me get that ring Let me get that ring.

Did you take out the ring? No, it's still in his meat pile. Go grab it Okay, I reached into his fucking throat. All right, your Roll what is it?

No to search something It's a roll investigate can I roll empathy because he's dead? You're dig caress him because I like stick my hand in it to his throat. It doesn't really matter what you roll You're digging through meat for a while and not find much. Um, those searching the containers You find some that are filled with uh like tax dot tax tax tiles tax tiles like there's silk and There's one full of like cheap toys coming over from China.

There's like all sorts of shit You get to the three blacklisted ones before that you do find one with like a couple of really nice cars in them Somebody was shipping some really nice cars like high-end sports cars. Um, but you get to the three blacklisted one like that like Mazda Miata's Yeah, but most of me at high sports. Yes. Yep Um, there's gonna be at the bottom of the ocean soon.

Okay. Yep. So you open up one of the blacklisted containers and it seems to be full of drugs Drugs. Yep.

Like just like yeah drugs like okay. Okay. Okay. Why?

Because people ship drugs. Oh, I got an idea. What kind of drugs are we talking? Uh, cocaine.

Okay, uh, so uh, I do I this rpm does some of the cocaine it's fine because his metabolism will go through real fast But then he he takes out and rubs the lamp. Do I understand the genie now? No, not at all. Okay.

That was really shot. Was it? Yeah Listen, man. I'm gonna solve that puzzle.

All right. Um, you open up the second blacklisted container and it is the zenithium Zenithium comes in it's a metal alloy and it comes in bars. So it's a shipping container full of metal bars But kind of like we need to get like kind of like gold bars. It's just a whole shipping container full of it Were you asking?

Nox, how much of this crap did we need to take back? Uh, I don't know Will the shipping container fit on the yacht? Oh, no not at all It's a big. Uh, damn it.

It is a big. Yeah, I don't think there's any yachts. I could hold a entire shipping container We'll just have to stack the bars on the yacht Which is like take for friggin ever. I can put I can put a bunch of them inside Phil That's true.

Wait. Can we can we just put it inside Phil and have him go in the yacht? Is that the plan? Is it like?

I don't think he can carry all of it. Just like tie him around the shipping container and then drag him along behind the yacht That's a good way to make sure Phil drowns, I think No, whatever part is tied to the yacht it can be his mouth and it could be above water the rest of it can be below water So that's the point is that tie silicon artist to the shipping container and use him as a tow line. Um what I was thinking Is um, you know because you said that this this uh, the ship can limp along for a while before it starts to go under I mean might as well get it as far as we can on that boat and then try and get it on the other boat While we're trying You know because it's good you're gonna lower it into the water because the ship's sinking and once it's down in the water You just back the other boat, you know back the auto It's like a you know, you open up the cargo bay door that the yacht definitely has Yeah, and then all the gold goes in there all the And then the cargo ship goes Titanic and we all drown That don't be on the yacht. Yeah, we'd be on the yacht.

You find It's not long enough for it to break in half like in Titanic. I think we find that that's the plan you're gonna like take both of us for a little while I don't know that that's the plan. It's my idea But this is a team effort. We're all right.

I should do that but while we're doing that like start moving some of the bars onto the yacht So we don't have quite as many to move Okay, this ship starts to sink if that makes sense. Yeah, yeah, I'm into it Is there any way to fix this hole in the ship like it like looking at it? Is there any way to like patch up? Can I plug it with a boat?

Yes, you can plug it with silicon artists Okay. Yeah, there you go. So kind of nice to go on. We'll drive the boat back to shore Are you going to check the last blackless container or do you not care?

Oh, I want to know what's in it? Yeah, okay. Yeah, all right. You open it up and you find 13 Slavic women.

Oh shit. Um, I close it again Okay, I will open it back up there speaking Russian. Do any of you speak Russian? Can I speak Russian?

Uh sure Yes, I'll give you that one. Okay. Greetings comrades. It sees the means of production You come from other man.

They're like well, since you're speaking in Russia. They're like you don't have to be a teacher I had poor teacher. One of the women who's be the leader of the the women are says, uh, have we reached land yet? No, both is going to think slowly maybe are you going to be with men?

Are you going to bring us the rest of the way if you want to? Uh, we do what you do want to live in America like your cargo your slaves slave is a strong word. We are product being shipped. Yes Okay, I guess you stand here for another Okay, we should not go into the same port that this thing was scheduled to go to oh hell no Yeah, that's all right that I see is not slowly shutting the cargo container It's just gonna like punch him right where she shot him in the mask and open the door back up and be like, uh, You ladies can come out if you want.

I want him says won't we get uh, I'm here anymore. Won't we get arrested by port authority? I don't speak Russian. I'm sorry.

She speaks English enough. Well enough for you to understand that she said We're not going back to that port. Oh, are we so I really I really want like 10 minutes Of like Alex you saying something and then Cody having to repeat it and All in English the whole time they say they like the dog. They're going to stay in here Are we still going to America?

Yes, do we still have to work for demeats three? No, in fact, tell me who Demetri is tell me about this man. Uh, we don't know much. We just knew that we were going to go work for him Wait, what kind of work They look equally.

I don't know maybe they're gonna be like stockbrokers or something. No, I don't want to judge They they make it clear that they are being human traffics for okay. Oh, yeah. Oh, that's bad Sorry guys.

I'm up to speed now. I see what I did there. Hahaha. Who boy.

Okay, so you guys get you guys Back. Um, what are you all stealing from the boat? Everything I'm gonna call them to call the guys up and we're telling them dress like pirates and they're coming over here We're taking everything off his goddamn boat. All right, so he's we're gonna put it all we don't have a house You can actually build some pretty sweet houses out of shipping containers like uh for a pre-cheap I've seen it on on a TV and also on the internet.

That's so that's what's happening. Okay, so at the end of all of this What happens is um, they brought all of the shipping containers to knock his mansion and now that is mostly your walls No, don't put it the mansion We fixed that well, no, I mean it's gonna be like classy and modern. I mean, you know your mansion is now made up of storage containers It's it's cool looking it's got so much storage Why are you deciding? They have so they had to put them somewhere so they started snacking them around the house So then like these decks so high and so wide so they're like they started drilling through the containers to get inside So now there's like a bunch of doors and windows that have been retrofitted the storage containers So now your house is surrounded by storage containers.

Why is my mansion like fallout three? Like what is this? See? Okay, you guys are you guys are Making it out to be bad.

Um, what are you going to do with these uh 13 women? um, we are going to Get them well taken care of well, hold on wait. They want to work right? Yeah, they wanted to go to well I mean they were sold to someone in America, but you intercepted okay cool.

Uh, well now they work for me I don't own them first off. Let's not do that because not just not about that. He's about self-employment They have new locations to live because the storage containers. Okay, so you're you're employing these women as minions.

Yes Okay, so Yeah, I'll let you know Not so much you also while you're doing this make them some light make them some fake papers so that they can go if they Don't want to work for you then go do whatever the hell they want to do And give them insurance and stock options. I'm not giving them stock options first off I probably give them insurance though. What I'm going to need you to do though is roll some sort of social skill to talk them into being Working for you. So there are 13 now.

So either are you going to intimidate them rapport them? Like what skill are you going to use to try to talk them talk to them about being your minions? Oh god, um Well, I feel like the highest one is provoked so I could yell at them But I don't feel like that's appropriate you could empathy them. Can I be like I understand it?

Okay, that works. Yeah, I understand you people you could totally I think if you use provoked that I would shoot you again Yep Like about to yell at them and then just look over to dead. I'm like she shot me last time I just got like her arms crossed and just looking at you. All right.

Well, I got a four All right, so you get 10 new minions Three three of them are like we don't really want to live a life. We just want to we just want to go see our families Um, so oh, okay. Hold on. Hold on.

No, no, no, I also don't I would put up the option of like two options here minion and then also Uh, like maybe like help around the house. I don't want to call them age You also have a research facility they could work at nice Corporate just makes it sound like their lab rest Scientists I don't know the occupation. Can we like figure out what that empathy role can I figure out like what some of them do? Maybe you could stimulate the economy by offering them on the job training.

Yeah Oh, so I'll tell you what if you off if you offer corporate jobs to the three that don't want to be minions They will take you up on that offer so you will have three intern trainees Working real life. No, I were getting the economics of these three women, right? So i'm gonna call up. I'm gonna call up.

I remember from my notes Diana Ross Which is foxy, which is my second command when at the uh at the corporation and i'm going to let her know the situation Interesting if she can get a position for the three ladies. She's like, yeah, I can totally do that But um one other thing there's something very very strange happening with computers. Uh, I really need you to come check this out Uh, it does have something to do with a um, uh, clippy monkey looking-ish thing We don't know we just know that a lot of our production is being hijacked by some rogue program Ah And that is where i'll be there. That's where we will cliffing this episode of villains underground Uh, I have been your game mustard.

Have you can you can find me on the twitter machine at happy puke? I'm Cody. I play knocks and you can find me at co-3 I'm alley. I play dead.

I and you can find me at aluminum underscore. I had I I'm Mike I play rp m and you can find me at the mike bachman And if you like the show as a whole you can find us on twitter at shg podcast We we like to hear from you. We like to hear everybody if you want to be a supporter on patreon You go to patreon.com slash shg podcast. We also have something coming up if anyone if any of our listeners are going to geelycon We are having a panel in which all of the audience members get to participate Everyone in the audience gets to be a hero brigade member and you get to stop the or try to stop the villains as they cut through swaths of the Audience members so everyone gets a chance to try to take a swing at the villains while the villains cut them down mercilessly So come with a character.

Don't be sad if dead I shoots them in the face Which is highly likely you know everyone's gonna dump hell on knocks because knocks don't know how to fight Right, but i'm giving you fair warning too Goddamn it So so yeah, um audience if you want to fight the villains come to geelycon Uh with the character in mind you get to do one role against them and then they get to fight back at you You will be weak and most likely die Yeah, bring it everyone can be there everyone that's in the audience you get to participate if you want If you don't know pressure, but it should be a fun time and it will be economical episode So your personal characters will be in the universe I think that's about it I don't really have much else to put does anybody have anything to plug the hole in the boat? I mean, I kind of do a plugging podcast where we talk about Call of good luck, but books. Yeah, Cody's also on the podcast. Cody.

Do you have anything to plug? Right the dairies was but you know Even molly can't It's a really bad time. So All right, mike. Are you on anything?

I'm on drunks and dragons other than that nothing at the moment and I guess we will see you all on the dark side of That was bad. Is that your sign off always? No, it's not That's not my bad Guys just can you just cut that clip and just attach it to the end of every podcast? Hey guys, that was a good episode.

Do you think our podcast is that good? What podcast are you talking about? The one that we do you know dairiesels? Dairiesels that doesn't ring any bells.

Can we talk about cute animals? What no we play Dungeons and Dragons I mean kind of Dungeons and dragons doesn't bear shit. I don't know how that stuff works You know how that works. We play it like every Tuesday on a stream on twitch at like 83730 John standard The best time zone.

Um, I mean at least it's not an official podcast, right? Like that'd be embarrassing We do that too. We relate it's dairiesels real ish Dungeons and dragons actual play podcast we're on iTunes Google play and poppy like come on guys So we're kind of legit. Oh, yes I've only recently joined but you guys have been on for like a couple years You guys have a twitter and a patron and everything.

Okay, that actually sounds ready though I'll be sure to check that out. Thanks for the recommendation man You're welcome We're sorry. I'm not sorry. I'm not sorry.

We're sorry sometimes. I'm sorry August's roaches