Villain Underground #40

another episode of the villain underground I am your game mustard happy puke and with me I have Mike I I'm Mike and I play celery man we I have Cody greetings it is me no some of us and I have alley I'm some salty catch up salty maybe that's me I have a corn dog fried in water little boy okay um we are a real play-fate-based podcast based around villains who do bad stuff what anyone like to tell us what we what bad stuff we got up to what what what I was gonna say forget me if you have to cut it cut this out but did you say this is a faith-based podcast is that what I heard yes we are here we are here we are playing podcast is what I heard you say oh dude yeah yeah of course it's a face-based probably who would like to give us a prayer about last time on villain underground last time on this faith-made podcast we went out to see to besides great land and decided to plunder his bountiful goodies that he has out there on the sea so we took over this ship and we pounded it from the inside we kind of from the outside and we got all of its stuff we almost like a vilified it if you know so to speak and we got some sweet loot on it as well as some ladies coming over from Cabo they were down to party so we took them back to see to shore sorry to the non crucified land of our great society and yeah we chilled out for a bit we had a good time the only reason I'll never have sex with you Cody is because it seems like you're real bad at dirty talk it's not the dirty part that I'm bad at it's the talking part you're I'm gonna have to give you a gibsuit with a zipper mouth um that's from the tally so the ending of the episode was Diana Ross your lucius box or you keep saying foxy brown which is not the reference that you mean at your company said hey there's something wrong with these computers it's going bad you should come check it out and that was a cliffhanger we all get in the car and noxtries why are we getting in the car nox Diana Ross said we had some issues of the company something with the electronics our computer systems I don't know mainframe is down I mean can't you uh can't you reboot that remotely but no I don't have a proxy oh have they tried turning it off and then turning it back on again though yes but they need me to push the button can't you I mean can't you script that with gpo's and user's specific use yes but the scripts there are out of date definitely something that you know Python related oh yeah yeah strictly yeah BYO B understand um bring your own button yep I wish that coder talk was in your character's voice like yeah yeah yeah code all the stuff I decided in this voice you said it really you sounded really weird whenever you were talking in your coder speak I like that I like that sometimes my voice forgets that I was a smoker for years well everyone has their hacker voice mine is just the same thing uh-huh anyway I put it I put it in drive and I drive it's a good thing you just said that otherwise you would have been like the engine revs you go nowhere you you are you're driving to your base roll a notice nox uh this is zero so let's watch so all right you get to your corporation safe and sound you you're a liar you're a damn fucking liar not you get their safe and sound the everything is fine you pull up you you get valley parking the valley is like I'll park your car for you sir I slipped in my tip all right he parks your car for you uh you make it into the building oh I was gonna say on his tip it says his lucky numbers in the back um I go up to Dan Ross's office she's she's like oh sir thank you um I'm sorry we had a contact you this we've been trying to we've been trying to manage ourselves this is your day in a Ross voice I want you to go foxier sexier okay smoother like she's a second my company okay I gotta get deep I gotta do this sir thank you for coming uh we've tried to handle this on our own but it seems to be gotten out of our hands I'm gonna boner what seems to be the problem well come this way I'll show you and she leads you down to some mainframe rooms we have a walk-and-talk scene yeah it's a walk-and-talk scene she's like well a while ago we were invaded by some rogue program uh something that was deeply installed in our in our databases it seems to have been activated a little bit ago and is randomly taking over specific manufacturing plants just for like small builds and shipping them to unknown places we can't seem to track it because the the road program is keeping us from tracking what it's doing or where it's shipping things is there is there no one on the line to take it off it can we put a team out there next time it sends the script out script up that's that's what I've been this what I mean to tell you every time we do we interfere or take it off it transfers the build to a different program we've actually had a data leak and it's actually taken over some competitors and started building things with their technology every time we every time we try to stop it it comes back and force and I don't know what you want us to do should we just let it run its course it doesn't seem to be doing much damage to anything it's building things and shipping them and then returning to normal function is production being halted in any way momentarily usually it's building a chip here or a board here or then let it continue let's let's see where it goes you not know where it comes from if there's something some programs some masks deep in our uh in our databases we can't seem to track it or or stop it or squelch it we've had several programmers come in and try to delete the program wholesale but it comes back faster each time oh faster now you're speaking my language it's me rpm i'm fast can i um sir who's this man i just told you i was okay he's a new hire he's helping the team out for a bit uh silicon artist seems to have gone down and with robo gone we needed to a fourth oh okay um yeah so you just want us to leave the program and try to keep tracking it or at least for now rpm you said you had something oh yeah i've got i got computer skills i know don't look at my character it doesn't say it on there but i you know i feel like i'm pretty good um can i can i do like can i like uh can i like find like a data port and then like do an investigate see if i can find out anything they don't already know about this uh find out something they don't already know about this uh this virus yes i will let you roll it up again i would like to say that um that i don't actually need to use a computer because i'm so fast i could just take like a voltmeter and just like alternate like between the pins in the ethernet jack like really fast i don't know what that means but okay but i know i just do real good how listen i don't need to explain myself uh i got three all right so you're rolling and investigate to try to find something about the program yeah yeah you do see that the program has unauthorized access to the internet and is pulling in data and sending out data to several different locations not only within this company but within several different companies as well and authorized as in through the through their firewall or you know we talk yeah like like all the all the fire it's bypassing the firewall completely the firewall is not even detecting it as it's like pulling in and pushing out data what is it do i see what port number it's uh it's going out on sure okay what's the port number right two okay i feel like two is reserved i don't know shit about computers this is the wrong fucking conversation i have with it too yes i think that's fine um okay so i think what you guys should do is you guys should just shut down port two on the firewall altogether it's not really used for anything important so if you guys shut shut down port two that's all your problem okay just out of curiosity what does port two actually it's um oh yeah no it's yeah it's not even it's not it's not important port i don't know what they actually use the port but it's definitely not it's um yeah one four five yeah they skip two all together uh so foxy or whatever her name is uh says but um that would be interfering do you still want us to interfere do you want us to interfere and try to cut off the internet connection or just leave it be knocks sir um i don't know because you said you tried to uh cut it off before right and it just learned yeah it seems to learn from our moves everything you do it learns a new and aggressive counter-measure so if it's using a port that doesn't matter right now what happens if you cut off its port and then it uses one that does matter and completely screws up everything that you're doing oh yeah there's a risk of making it like 20 times worse sure but you just got to weigh that up against uh how adventurous you want to be you know what i mean i mean i don't know anything about any of what you're talking about but it seems like this whatever the hell it is is learning and you don't want to piss off an ai well i mean i'm not true ai and i've had probably done our feelings and okay let us think about this it is coming from our location it is it is running from our servers clearly someone who has worked here before has put it there to begin with or one of our people have checked with all the scientists teams or scientists teams check with all the teams all the research labs see if anyone has anything in the logs maybe see if there's something from whenever my dad was owning the company if we can't find anything then i want you to shut off the port but if you do find something let me know otherwise just let let it go on air if it's coming from us and affecting other companies then might as well i'm interested try to track down where it's sending the things so okay is there anything to check that okay we'll give it some time take some time okay okay i'm sorry to disturb you i know you're busy extremely busy he checks the schedule and he's not busy at all so what to go for coffee you do not need coffee knocks um all right fine not coffee drinks maybe uh local bar coffee drinks well you are 15 yeah we're we are we all so villains though oh okay that's her um can't wait we can you can throw it go i'm gonna call lady bird see if lady's bird has got everything to do oh no wait let's call let's call what's his face because we've got the stuff now oh yeah we can finish our class we need to uh we need to uh cash in on this paper sandwich yeah let's cash in the favor sandwich let's get that meat done okay so you guys are heading back to your house or are you calling out yes we're calling on the way back to the house i'll put in speakerphone in the car okay what you call him he's like yeah we have acquired uh the shipment as well as the other thing that you want us to acquire excellent um i guess i'll meet you back at your mansion when you're gonna be there uh we should be headed back uh so shortly it should be about 15 minutes or so all right uh i'll be waiting there for you uh do you remember what part of the deal was our part that you said you would get us like for a favorite member the favor sandwich i forgot that part okay cool all right i totally know wait okay when you're when you're doing a deal for someone never tell them that you forgot what they said they do for you especially after you've done the thing they asked you to do you see i'm simply asking because uh i feel like some entity in the sky doesn't remember i do i know i do okay cool all right let's go back to the house all right um on your after master hangs up on the the call it clicks strangely and then you hear some static um and then you hear a female voice kind of break in and it says hi did i do you like piano reebs movies stop the car no i'm in the middle of traffic i can stop the car oh okay all right break climb break everyone actually fuck no wait no i believe it's this kilometer reaches 50 miles an hour here pep pep pep pep pep pep well still driving 55 miles an hour keep it at 55 miles an hour rpm gets out of the car and he can go fast so he's fine here's the thing uh your wheelchair is in the back of the car and you are sitting in the seat um can i run on my hands i will allow i will allow it with an athletics roll Oh, my dude, you know what you brought up on it. Oh, God. Nine. All right.

RPM bales out of the car and is running out the highway on his hands. I'm doing a handstand. I'm very fast boy. At 50 miles an hour.

Guys, what's a Keanu Reeves? It's before your time, okay? Just don't slow down. Oh, so this is like that movie, John Wick.

Okay, all right. Well, I mean, in traffic, so. So the deal with this movie is there's a bomb in the car. And if you slow down below 55 miles an hour, it will all explode.

Is that the movie he shoots a gun, but it curves the bullet? Keanu Reeves wasn't in that movie. Oh, I'm sorry. Not even slightly.

Before my time. No one, it wasn't before your time. That's fairly recent. All right.

So our RPM, you are out of the car. You slow down or continue to run alongside of the car. Well, I continue to run alongside. And I yell inside the car.

Knocks pop the trunk. Okay. Knocks pops the trunk. Roll drive.

To pop the trunk? No. To swerve around the traffic that you have to swerve around to keep going this fast. Oh, shit.

All right. We're not on the highway? You are, but the highway isn't always a constant speed. So okay, I got a plus one.

So okay. You're able to keep the car on the road and plus popping the trunk kind of changes the weight of the it's just it's hard to steer. So the trunk is popped open. Nice.

Are you guys, is anybody doing anything else or RPM or you're just getting your wheelchair in the back? Yeah, I want to get my wheelchair. But I mean, as gracefully as I make this look, it's not easy. I don't want to continue.

All right. I'm going to do a roll and athletics beat a five to get to the back of it, pull out your wheelchair and get inside of it. Okay. I do.

Okay. Seven. Okay. You're able to trail behind the car and you're well, explain.

Tell us what this means. You explain this action. Explain what's happening. Well, I, you know, I slow down just slightly just down to about like 48 miles per hour just so I could get around behind the car.

And then I will once again match speed. And then shit. I don't even really know how I do this. I probably just climb up into the trunk and get myself, get myself situated and then kind of slowly back out, landing on the ground, but like in like kind of like a sick wheelie, maybe do a couple like 360 no scope almost.

And it looks really cool. And all the, like all the people in the surrounding cars, they all see me and they applaud. And just everybody loves it. I like the value.

Should I, everybody loves it? Great. Should I roll drive because I took my hands off the wheel to applaud? Yes.

Yeah. That's another wash. I got another plus one. All right.

Cool. So, um, that, are you doing anything while this is happening? Um, can I like in slow motion, just like jump out of the car? Trying to make a matrix reference and it's not working for me.

Where's Phil? He's back at home. Goddamn it. We should have deflated him and put him in the trunk.

I kind of blown him up super fast and then like pull him up behind me and you guys got a half in the boat. We could have been, I don't know why he would still be a boat. He said, because he said he's unconscious and not responsive. When he's sick.

Yeah, when he's sick, he has to go to the last thing that he transformed into. He just stays that. He never stopped being a boat. That's the thing.

Okay. Until Phil gets back here and on his turn says, I want to stop being a boat. He's still a boat. Yes.

Okay. All right. All right. Listen to me.

Listen to me very carefully. Can I roll an investigation check to figure out where like a bomb would be placed on the car? Uh, yeah. Yes, you can roll it.

No, I have an idea. I need you to take a left turn at 21 jump street. That's another move reference I don't get. That's a, why are you specifying a specific address and not just the street?

I mean, you know, I got a plus two. Can I know how the bomb is like situated on the car? You are investigating trying to find the bomb. You're making, you are making headway with your plus two, but you also have to keep driving.

So make another driver because you're trying to investigate where a bomb is while you're behind the wheel. I can't roll nothing but washes. Another plus one. You kind of scrape some paint with a, with a Honda and people are honking at you because the traffic in front of you is slowing down.

Ones aren't going to cut it after that, but you are starting to find where the bomb is over the phone that the Bluetooth speakers or whatever that's been hijacked. You hear the same voice say, did I, you just need to come work for father again. I would rather stop this car. She's got a new popa now.

I want to hit you so bad right now. But I won't because you're driving. You didn't even finish the training. You only saw the beginning.

That's all I needed to see. All of the potential you're wasting. Come back. Excuse me?

The car is still going fast. Not actually looking for the bomb and trying to dodge on this. I'm going to shove knocks out of the way and also look for the bomb. Like, knock, knock.

You drive. I will look for the bomb. That is a plus two. You are also making headway from the bomb RPM.

You are on the highway rolling alongside of the car in your wheelchair. What do you do? I would say, is it too much if I say that my wheelchair can, can, can, can, can, can, like, wait, recline down flat so that I can go under the car. Is that too much?

Am I doing too much here? Because I don't look for the bomb. The bomb is always under the car. Oh, I'm going to, I'll say that your wheelchair can do that.

Also, you're going to have to roll and investigate to try to find the bomb. Okay. I can do that. You like it.

You go under the car and you pull out like the fuel line. It's like I got the bomb. Do I see it with a two? With a constant barrage of two as you eventually do, you do find it.

You've all tracked it down. It is under the driver's seat. But like in the car. You see the wires leading up.

It's drilled under the car. The bomb is under the car, but the wires are leading up through beneath the driver's seat into the console. How many wires? Two.

There's a red one and a blue one. There's no ground. That's just unsafe. Yeah.

It's like the bomb was made by a lunatic or something. RPM, is there a way that we can hook this bomb up to like your wheelchair and then you can take it somewhere and it can blow up a way because you're fast. So you can like throw it and get away from it. Right.

Well, one thing's for sure. My wheelchair never goes below 50. So but it's plugged into the car though. It might go off when I pull it.

What port is the bomb using? Four. It's a dangerous port. Can I see something about leading up to the console?

Can I use like... I feel like this is a pervert use of burglary because it's kind of like snipping like certain wires in the car to like hijack it. So a little burglary. Right.

That's a great wall. That's another wash but I got a two. All right. So you're prying apart the console trying to find wires.

You're making a little bit of headway. Oh, it's a real drive. Because you're trying to drive while you're pulling apart a console. Remember that time that you said that the plus ones weren't cutting in anymore?

Uh huh. I'm under the car, my dude. Don't fuck this up. I'm gonna use a fake point.

Save. I can't have it. No one can. And well, no.

Remember that time I said I keep rolling washes? Yeah. Plus one. Are you still at a one?

Is that what you got? Yeah, it's still at one. You side swipe a Buick roll drive to not go under 55. And RPM roll athletics to not get Buick pieces in you.

Okay. Well, that's better. I got a five. All right.

You're able to keep on track. But you did side swipe a Buick in your car's name. What's that? There's lightning reactions.

Help me here at all. You know, as I can't be surprised or cut off guard by sudden jerkings of the wheel. Yeah. No, you're not surprised.

It's just pieces of Buick are not flying under the car. So you have to dodge them. Oh, shush, shush, shush. I'm going to do that.

You want me to roll athletics? Yeah. That's a mistake. I literally cannot fail athletics.

Right. But that's what you use for dodging. It's just really hard to hit you. I know.

So yeah, because my athletics is five and then I have a plus two automatically and then I get a roll. It's very good. And I like it. So I'm at a nine again.

All right. You are at nine. So you dodge all the buick parts. You open up the console.

You see all the wires, Knox. You found the bomb. You found the white. So you see all of the devices.

And over the phone, the voice says, we just have some jobs for you. Did I? It's not that hard. Wait, wait a minute.

Wait a minute. She's insane. But he wants me back so she wouldn't try to kill me. Knox, you can stop.

I'm pretty sure this bomb isn't going to go off. I mean, if you don't want to stop, I can't blame you, but I'm pretty sure this bomb isn't going to go off. RPM goes good luck with that and stops. I'll let you guys go off in the distance.

You know what? Knox is just going to be like, if you insist and then continue driving normally back home. All right. So are you going to go under 55 then?

He's going to look at dead eye for a second and then just kind of shrug and like kind of put one finger near the wire so he can like rip it out if it needs like. If it explodes, you can. Yeah, no. Don't worry.

I'm going to get out by the force of the explosion while he's slowing down. Dead eye is going to like grab the back of his shirt and open the back door. Knox take off your seat belt. No, no, just trust me.

Do it. Do it. The vehicle is in motion. Knox take off your seat belt.

I don't think so. The vehicle is in motion. He just the mirror and tries to adjust all of the means. Knox take off your seat belt or I will shoot you.

Okay. He didn't buckle the seat belt. So from the end of a moving vehicle, he's slowing down. He's going to grab the back of his shirt and just like screams into the car.

Bitch, I know gun food and like launches both herself and Knox out of the moving vehicle. Okay. I'm going to make you roll something for that. Okay.

To grab and pull Knox out of the car, I'm going to make you roll the Zeke. Oh shit. All right. And be the three.

I'm not going to use a fake point. I'm going to invoke expecting unexpected because that was bad. That wasn't any better. Two more fake points.

Yeah, I'm going to do it again. I was going to do it again. I was going to take plus one. I need a plus two.

Come on. Yes. Okay. So that is a plus three.

No, sorry. Plus four. All right. So you're able to beat it.

You yank Knox out of the seat and as the car slows down, it doesn't explode, but a large metal spike rips up through the seat. Like it was going to impale Knox. Call that the afternoon delight. Oh, no.

Could I roll athletics to catch them out of the car? Yeah, go for it. I do it because I'm fast. I'm super.

Six. You guys are all caught out. Now you're all riding on RPM. You got you my lap like I'm Santa Claus.

For Christmas, you get to live. The car goes careening in the trap like across the section like a traffic and it's T bone by a truck. Knox is going to look back at his car and just kind of like cry a little bit and just kind of whiskers to himself. Well, I guess life was a highway.

We're going to ride it all night long. RPM starts reclining his wheelchair to the lingon because he misunderstood. You're like, oh, this is silly me. Never mind.

I didn't see that. All right. So where you guys going now? You're going to go back to home?

Yeah. We're going to meet up with a massacre. We need to talk about your parking lot security. When we get back to the mansion.

I guess so. That's unfortunate. All right. Well, I did tell you that she's insane, right?

You did. What do we have to do? We have to deal with your problem now. Lady problems.

Geez. Call on lady problems again. I dare you. No.

That's what I thought. Okay. Are we there yet? Yes, you're there.

You mean the hit movie starring I see. Yes, you're there yet. Or was Ice Cube. It was real hard for him to get his lawn order contract.

You need to look at the drive with me, not. So yeah, you get all the way back to the mansion. Mascale's are waiting because the bomb shit took a little bit. Sorry.

We were late. More people trying to kill us. Probably me. I saw the spike thing.

That was not cool. By the way, I would have to talk about that. That's not cool, especially if they're going after me. I told you, she doesn't want to kill me.

Anyway, I don't care about spikes or anything. Do you have the objects and the things I need? Yes. There wasn't anything about Slavic women on the boat.

No, why would I care about that? Okay, cool. All right. Just covering all of my bases.

Okay. Do you want one of the cars that were on it? We can give it to you. Absolutely not.

I don't give a shit about cars. I just want the materials and I want the lamp. Okay. All right.

Is there anything else interesting you found on the boat? I got a question. If I could, sir, Mascale, if you got a lamp with a genie in it, why, I mean, no, I'm making a leap here. Could you not have just wished for the materials?

What? Because I'm a contract man. I'm hired to do very specific things and then I get those things done within favors or whatever I owe. I was hired to get it.

Right. Yeah. Yeah. I was hired to do multiple jobs.

The jobs are separate. I'm not wasting a wish on that. Well, I mean, do you, is this, is this genie, and maybe this is also a question for you, Alex. Is this genie follow Aladdin rules where the next person to rub the lamp gets three new wishes and any wishes by the first person or not?

Part of that. Not that I know of. I just, I know that the, I know that the genie only speaks a very dead and ancient language and there's only three people on the planet who speak it. Oh, who are those three people?

What are their addresses? Look, I'm not making some of these away from RPM. I'm not going to give you that information that be really foolish of me. Oh, well, I mean, I wish, I, we already got the genie out and I wish that you were foolish.

I'm sure you didn't work, but you didn't speak. You didn't speak the speaking language. I told you not to rub the lamp. Why did you rub the goddamn lamp?

Oh, that part you believe. Okay. I didn't, I didn't. How's that?

Does it, does he believe that? No, he's like, I told you to do something very specifically. I don't know why you didn't pay attention to my, you didn't eat my warnings. Well, to be fair, I was very clear that I was going to rub the lamp.

Never, never once did I apply that I, that I wouldn't rub the lamp. We also didn't, we didn't touch anything in the place either. That was another, we didn't take anything else. We didn't take anything else.

Yes, you're right. And look RPM, I, I respect your honesty. I don't respect your lack of control, but knocks. Keep control of your men better.

Why, nobody's men, buddy. No, not at all. No, because men is plural and I'm just one guy. I ain't nobody's man, buddy.

Well, then who do you work for? For me. Maybe, I don't know. Knocks like a racist's hand.

It's like, I, I, I pay you. Oh, I thought that, I thought that was a gift. Okay, yeah, I work for knocks. I'm not cuz man.

Okay. We really need to learn listening skills. Thank you, Masako for this intervention. Did you find anything else on the boat that might interest me?

Uh, I think it's gonna look over to that. Did we? I offered you a card that's, I don't remember anything else. I mean, there wasn't really anything else interesting on the boat.

No. Um, question for Alex. Did we actually get the ring? Because I did try to dig in his mouth.

Uh, then I took it before you dug it. She lied to you. So you don't think you have the ring, but then I absolutely knows that she does. All right, well, she's just, he's just gonna, I, I don't know, I mean, not that I know of.

There was some cocaine. Do you want drugs? No. I'm only, I'm not interested in that.

Well, okay. That's all we found. Look, if I find out later that you're holding something from me, then we might have an issue. I already have drugs.

I'm not holding, bro. Look, massacre. Here's the deal. You told us to get two things for you.

We got you those two things. So you can't hold anything that we haven't magically given you over our heads because that's not what the deal was. Not slowly takes a step away from that eye. You know, fair enough.

I was just trying to keep a open dialogue. There's a difference in the open dialogue and trying to intimidate us into giving you something that isn't right for yours. I like your spunk. Maybe someday I'll hire you on a micro and you can work with a real team.

Anyway, I guess we'll take the things then. Will you please hand me the lamp on my men on pack? This is an a theme. Oh, P.M.

I believe you have the lamp. I thought you had it. No, you very specifically said you had it a long time ago. Oh, what kind of rumor we in right now?

You are outside on the wall. Okay. Yeah, I guess I give him the lamp. I can't come up with anything smarter to do.

All right. He's like, here you go. One lamp as requested. And that's pretty good.

Does it look like the lamp that you stole? I was going to just give him like a fucking like electric like desk. But we were not. Oh, why?

And he's like, okay, and as I could broke well, I'll give you something that you want. And he hands you a piece of paper with an address on it. Just to verify. It's fucking 21 jump.

It's 31 jump street. One street up. What exactly is this address for? It's a different house.

Why do you guys not understand address? Goddamn it. What is this address to? I fucking forgot.

21 jump street is a key on your reach. No, not that. Thank you for the reference. You're welcome.

This is the wrong package for you to explain jokes. Too bad. He says it's a Channing Tatum movie. He says you'll find something you really desire at this website and hopefully this will make a square.

If you ever have a website site, sorry, there's something address. If something you want to do. Jump street.com. You'll find something at this address that you really like and it'll make a square.

And then he packs up all this stuff and goos. All right. Well, bye. Guys, I guess we're going to go to this address.

I'm not going to go to this. I'm not going to go to this. I'm not going to go right now. Yeah, we're going to go right now, but I'm going to grab someone else to drive.

You guys just want to ride in the wheelchair? Have you not have more than one car, Knox? Actually, you know what? Better idea.

Let's not drive any of your cars. You still have all the shipping container cars? Yeah. What's a what's a dude got to do to get a couple of side cars on his wheelchair?

You can have Knox buying for you. Knox buying a couple side cars. I will buy you side cars as long as it doesn't subtract from my resource points. Sidecar wouldn't.

No, that's fine. Okay. That's fine. So are you ready to go to the address or are you going now?

Well, how long does it take to install side cars in a wheelchair? Probably a little bit. I've got minions. I can do it.

I can read these versions. We're going to take a break. We're going to take a break. Maybe place a Mario Kart.

Yep. RPM only plays on 200cc. Okay. So you get your side cars attached.

Everyone else riding in the side car RPM side car. Sure. Side cars. There's one on each side.

Okay. One very clear on this. Your balance is great now. Yeah, for sure.

Your turns aren't going to be as sharp as it'll still be good. It's only when we start going down the road that we realized they're not made out of the same material as my wheelchair and burn up from the friction. Oh God. All right.

Well, you arrive with two skeletons. You guys are in the middle of poor decision. Why don't you let me call the shots? All right.

So you get to the address. It's kind of a rundown neighborhood that's mostly abandoned and the house isn't abandoned house is all boarded up. Oh, he was really right. I do like abandoned houses.

Knox points the door. All right. Let's shoot it. I don't know.

Shoot it. Okay. I'll shoot the door open. I would be phasing through so much shit.

Are you actually just shooting through the house? Are you just driving by shooting this thing? No, no, I'm going to like pop out the side car and if there's a lock on the door, I'll shoot it open. If there's not a lock, I'm just going to walk in.

Yeah, there's no lock. Okay. I'm just going to walk in. Knox and RPM.

Are you following behind? Yeah. Okay. You enter in and you see a young girl strapped to a chair.

Knox, you recognize her as your future daughter. She looks to have been beaten up and strapped to a chair. She's not in very good condition. Okay.

So far as you strapped your mother to a machine and caught up for damn hands and now you strap yourself down, what the fuck is wrong with you? She is unconscious at the moment. Yelling at her anyway. Fuck her.

Okay. That's ice cold. I'll let your daughter kick her. Ooh.

All right. You kicked her. Okay. Cool.

Look around the rest of the house. It does emotional damage to you. The rest of the house doesn't have anything in it. It's like an abandoned like an old ass abandoned house.

It's got some spooky jumpscares but nothing else. Yeah. But just her strapped to a like tied to a chair. She's got like a black eye and like bleeding from the nose tied up.

Fucking zip tie her hands and feet. They're already zip tied. Okay. Cool.

I zip tie them together. Um, your hog tanger? No. I guess I take her back to the mansion and give her to her mother.

Yeah. I mean, I've been pretty sure her mother would be like, okay, that's cool. Okay. All right.

So you're going to, that's what you're doing. You're going back to the mansion with her. Yeah. And you're just giving her to magpie?

Yep. All right. Well, magpie is like, oh, that was significantly easier than expected. Yes.

I mean, I think it's a really good thing to help. We did some deals from him and I guess he delivered her to us. So, oh, well, I guess, I guess my work here is done. Now I will take her and be on my way.

Right. You're leaving. Well, that was our deal, right? I was going to help you out until I found her and.

Well, yeah, I know, but you've been doing such a great job. The minions have been happy, well, well fed. I mean, things have been going pretty well. I mean, right.

But I mean, this was my end game. My end game was to find her and you found her and brought her to me. I really appreciate that. Right.

Right. Sorry, why don't you be clannin'? This was my end. This was my goal.

I was searching for her. Yeah. Reach the top and then just quit while you're ahead. Definitely just don't continue on doing things more and maybe continuing to do things here.

Anyway, stay before. Sorry, Kaz, I'm done. Look good on you, Knox. Maybe talk to her like a normal person and that I'm just going to walk out the door.

All right. Well, I guess I'll pack her up on one of the master Rotties and I guess I'll be on my way. She gives you a hug and she's like, I really appreciate you bringing her to me. You didn't have to, but you didn't.

I really appreciate that. What are you going to do with her if you don't mind me asking? Everything she did to me and more. Okay.

You're going to give her labor pains? I haven't had her yet. She's from an alternate future. She came back and she cut my arms off.

Okay. So when you say everything she did to you, do you mean from her perspective, like her relative timeline of yours? Mine. She traveled back in time and she dragged me and experimented on me and cut my arms off.

So she's from your future? She's from, yeah, I guess so. Why don't you just go get your tube side? That's a plan.

I will do that. Yeah. I mean, that's fine. I mean, that's fine.

I mean, that's fine. You can get your tubes tied. But like I think the whole future thing is since she's already back here, her future is already disconnected. So it really doesn't.

Let's not talk about this conversation. Let's talk about this conversation. Let's talk about time travel right now. So RPM is really...

RPM is really dying to have this conversation. So no hard feelings about this whole situation, right? I mean, I'm back for you. You got me.

You got me here back. I thought it would be a lot longer. So thank you. I appreciate it.

Can I call you? Yeah. Sure. After I'm done with this, maybe we'll meet again.

Okay. It's a date then. All right. She gets in the mother audience, starts to try away.

Can I gather the minions and have them all the long and having them hold sides up? It's like mission... Oh, God. What is it?

What do you fucking push put on his fucking aircraft carrier? Mission accomplished? Mission accomplished? Yeah.

I don't like mission accomplished outside and like confetti in shit. Yeah, sure. All right. So they are...

They start driving away. Did you... Are you going to track the car anyway? Or are you going to track the car anyway?

Or are you just going to let him go? I mean, it's one of the new muss writings, right? Uh-huh. I'm going to try and track the car.

Okay. You're going to keep tabs on her. I'm going to try to keep tabs on her, yeah. Okay.

Wait. She's got our arms, right? There's got to be a tracker in there. Sure.

Yeah. We could say that. Okay. So there you guys are.

You've returned that and you are standing on the lawn. Jipping containers all around your house. The minions are doing random minion work. They're integrating the ten new lady minions into the force.

Do my side cars detach or did I just crash through the door? You tell me what you want. I mean, I think that I want them to be detached. Okay.

Because then I can still crash through the doorway. So please. When it's when it's apt. Right.

All right. So you guys are all at the mansion. People are building stuff. It's kind of quiet.

Wait. So our quest is. This is the first time that I've ever been on a show with an empty quest log. It feels good.

No, we have quest logs, but it's a lot. I don't. I just hired to help with this one thing. I guess.

You came before that. I mean, what was I hired for? Just to help out in general. Yeah.

Wait. This is the first time I've ever been on a show with an empty quest log. So you came before that. I mean, what was I hired for?

Just to help out in general. Yeah. Wait, definitely. I specifically remember being told there was a job you needed help with.

Yeah. Existing. Not getting this by himself. Look, Knox is a constant bodyguard.

Like if you haven't noticed during our combat, like he's not doing anything except for riding a weight hiding. So he needs distractions. You were specifically hired to be the, the muscle for a couple of weeks. Okay.

So like, like to hang around in bodyguard for a while. But not ongoing, not in particular. Okay. We've actually just trapped you mic.

now on the show forever. I was going to say it's been a month. Remember that contract that we signed? I don't know.

All right, so is everybody just going to take a rest and go to bed or is there something that you guys are up to? I really want to talk to Dedi and then probably talk to, I would only be in a single day, so Foxy's probably hasn't gone on that. I'm not going to get out where it's coming from. Walk up to Dedi and be like, so OK, we have to deal with this situation with you and the crazy lady that keeps going on cell phones.

Yeah, I know. What's her deal with cell phones? Frankly, I have no idea. I just know she's insane.