Hello everyone and welcome to another episode of the villain underground this is episode 41 What about that? I am have puke and I am the game mustard. I am here with drop now alley. I'm a beautiful butterfly I'm here with butt pan cody stick like a brit.
I'm here with hide and crawl Mike It's a good thing that you didn't call me drop now, or I would have dropped off the call me really good in retrospect punch Club Phil Hi everybody. I'm back. I'm not dead. I'm sure they told you I was dead.
I'm not not yet We didn't take you we said you ever get busy dying. I mean yeah Like classic Vin Diesel quote Anything for family have you seen that supercut of every time they say family and Across all seven goddamn Family they really lean into it like after the third one. Oh yeah, it's like all they talk about yeah So good all right, so who like to tell us what happened on the last episode of the villain villains underground all right? So last episode they were on a yacht after Stealing shit from the dudes mansion that they got away.
I guess that was two episodes previously They got to massacre they held up massacre held up his end of the deal the meat of the brand or the deal sandwich Which was Knox's daughter So not so lady bird that that's where their daughter was and then lady bird took the daughter Presumably to get hand justice on her. That's not sex move. That's just she cut off her hands and like the hand the hand justice is coming to her That's I guess I got married as well his hands justice just like like a handy, but you got a cape on your wrist Yeah, yeah Rain from above what like a badge. I don't know yeah I think you drew the Superman cape on the back of your palm huh back of your hand and then you go Yeah, no, that's the thing you have to be outside because you're your hand job is powered by the light of our yellow side Hmm, so it's people unless you're in public.
Yeah, you have to go outside to do it And now it's a bloody hand justice. You just get some kryptonite, which is also sand and you just What is happening I know what's up? What's like to tell us like what happened near the end of the episode so we can look we'll be break back up where we left off That was the new episode. I think we basically went back to the bench it was like hey, what's up here?
You have your daughter by Oh the very end of the episode the very satisfying thing was a someone that we know of the Bakken probably doesn't came up to RPM And I was like hey, how would you like to count me and maybe get some better legs? Yes? Was that a right flag? No, stop.
It's not call me out my dealers. All right, so we'll pick back up there It's late at night RPM is in his bedroom twisted arrows there and he said and twisted arrow says to RPM So you're you're willing to work with us. We can use a man of your talents. Of course.
I've got no love for me As to me they've been dead for centuries Okay, that sounds good. Here's what we need. We need to stick with these guys for a little bit Keep your eyes and ears on the ground. I have these people just for a little while.
Okay. How like can you how long like an hour? Maybe I don't know four episodes. I can do that.
All right. That sounds good. I'm not available on Tuesdays Good, but I've got bridge club. I don't know shit Bridge you play bridge.
Yes. I play on the bridge But you guys we go to the bridge we play red rover and all sorts of stuff It's bridge called bridge club and you can see how that be confusing, but that's just it's the location not the game that we play fair enough Here's here's a here's a cell phone. It's we'll call you when we need something, but we'll be we'll be keeping in touch primitive Technology I just decided I'm from the future You're a you're a weird one RPM happens everyone's there I explicitly am no longer a boat Why have you been a boat for so long of a meeting to ask but I didn't because you don't have a mouth when you're about so Really what kind of happened was just a little mental break. So I don't know.
It's kind of checked out more or less Yeah, once my mind palace that's how I'm so good at remembering everything is I have a mind palace like that You're a boat and you need to fix that Yeah, I just I had to pick it up this episode nice Not days So all right so you guys are all there the the minions are cooking breakfast and training the the additional new minions that you got from the shipping container And they have a big French toast breakfast for everybody I have to eat a lot of it because of my metabolism. Okay. Yeah, so they make you a lot of French toast Okay, so like on artists it's there Dejected I did you want some you know, I'm gluten-free everybody knows I'm gluten-free when did that happen? Well, you you smell how gazee I get after I forced to eat those sandwiches that you will feed me Oh is that what that is I thought it knocks was experimenting with some form of stink bomb technology Well, we have made those sandwiches with pretty old meat.
So to be fair. It's kind of hard to tell Yeah, I don't think it's the meat. I think it's the gluten Honestly, it's me have gluten in it. No fuck.
No, it doesn't sorry breaking character fuck One of the new women is such a sort of she says look artists. I didn't know you were gluten-free Um, you would you like me to make you scrammy eggs? Eggs are disgusting are you vegan too? No, I'm not vegan.
I just hate things and not be Diatorily restricted from them. I mean, would you like me? Would you like me to cook for you if you're not? I know some fresh berries.
That's it. Yes. All right Hey fresh baby. You want to cook some French berries go do it some French bit.
Um, is great. Have gluten Yeah, I can make a good oh Your breakfast sucks It who's fault is that newbie easy to don't add the glue? No, no, no, no, no, no, no blame her This is if you had dietary restrictions before you came into this house you should have notified me or ladybird I wrote it on the wall in my room where else do I put things? No one else can see it in your room because that is your room.
I've seen it. I go into your guys's rooms all the time who wouldn't The sanctity of another person's room should not be crossed tell that you're keeping under your bed knocks Okay, I don't want to know what was underneath your bed It's an ambiguous object There is a news report all over the 24 hour news outlets are covering apparently there was a leak of government documents referring to a powerful Metal from World War two that was captured and hidden by the government and there's also a large mind-wiping conspiracy That everyone's really upset yelling about it on TV. You really gotta tighten those document pipes. We'll get some of the leaks Yeah, so yeah, all these documents were leaked and like everyone is it's causing like mass panic question Was the meta from world war two silicon artist?
No good. Just wanna check There was a I couldn't actually get to work one day because downtown a document pipe burst and they were just papers flying everywhere in the street They need to yeah, I mean a paper code if there was more money funneled infrastructure we could get better pipes, but That's gonna remind us the thing and I'm gonna call it Foxy, okay And Ross whatever his name is like color foxy Hello, I'm gonna call her up. Yes, Foxy. Did you did you try and see if one of the research teams had anything on our little problem or issue?
Which one the issue was the one of our internal databases was sending a programs to have Industries create something and send it away. Oh, yes, it's still doing that we're still tracking it We haven't had much more other than it's still doing that well none of the research teams come back with anything I would like to send Maybe a few people out to track the shipments themselves. Maybe see where they go. Okay, I can put people on it I will let you know when we get information from that.
Okay. Thank you. I Was this I don't want it to be traced back to us this whole World War two thing I'm not sure if it has anything to do with what's going on with us, but oh I saw that on the news apparently they escaped Not living on the moon or something. Oh, okay.
Maybe it doesn't won't come back to us then. All right fine Um the moon you say we have any land there not that I know how is our rocket industry doing you mean the deal with the rockets or our Particular rocket Particular branch we don't really have much as far as that goes, but we do have an astronaut and I hang up all right What are you guys doing? I'm chowing down on some French toast. Yes, so kind of you get some fresh berries.
They're delicious I love them. Okay. I eat two bowls. I secretly covered them in flour I I hear it looks like it looks like power to sugar, but it's flour I so catch me up here is Reggie's solar house.
Yeah. Yeah, I look at Reggie. I'm like hey Yeah, what if I'm any fucking glue free flour? I didn't know you need it sir.
I will put it on the list I know you go into my room. I don't but okay Swim my eyes Adam. I see you there. You feel all right.
I was up out for two days ready fuck you You know what that does to a goddamn person seen some shit. We're just gonna slowly walk away How do you see shit with the noise? No eyes as a boat. Okay.
You got boat eyes? Yeah, it's on the sale. I imagine. I think that's what was canonically withdrawn as the art Yes, it was very got me there.
I Lift up just my torso from my body and I follow Reggie into the next room. Hey, I wasn't talking to you ready You're not talking to me you're yelling at me and I don't I have things to do I don't have time to get yelled at about nonsense ready stop yelling at your own good HR Okay, I don't know how you have to to your employer Completely unrelated scene RPM is just going to knocks and ask to be head of HR Knox is gonna get a little pamphlet out. I'm currently Currently has a position but we can see what we do maybe feel you in maybe she's always late and here she drinks on the job Okay, you're hot We're just like yeah, go to HR. I don't care Whatever I think to do so like so like on our his body was rigid And then he just like flops the floor and like slowly swirls back into the kitchen on his face.
Yeah Like I turned to the RPM I Hear you're the new head of HR that happens seconds ago. How did you hear that? I have Microphones all throughout the house. I think what huh?
You didn't hear that except I did I'm sitting right here Oh Shit kind of self to be sitting right there Well, all the breakfast nook so it's you know, it's not in your room. It's in other people's rooms I don't trust that at all. It's for the TV show. You know, so we have a TV show You know, you know, no, there's not Boy, let's talk over here Silicon Valley That is the name of the TV shows I'm big head So what you guys?
Regie yelled at me and then he hit me in the face. Hey, man Like sure the kind of like scuff mark that I have on my cheek. Hey, man. It's my first day I can't be dealing with this shit.
You're gonna have to you're gonna need to talk to Linda the intern Regies been tormenting me this whole time. Okay fill out a report and we'll get to it within six business days Silicon artist pulls out a cloth nap and begins writing on it filling out the report They're like, what are you doing? Well, these people are being nonsensical. Well, apparently we're on a TV show So it must be a reality TV show.
So now it's an interview segment. I'm gonna go outside and I'm gonna pick roses from these overgrown rose bushes I'm gonna bring it back inside and lay him out dramatically on a table. Oh shit. Be like The one who I don't give a rose to is getting shot in the face Barbara asked what you're doing.
What's going on? What are you laying all these words? We all agree so we do it If do you mean the weird creepy campsite that I'll come to set up wait, we're actually on TV no, I mean I mean a website is technically not TV. Yeah, it's a creeping peep website Hold on So you're telling me that I've been trying to figure out how these dumbasses Found me and it's still a con artist fault the entire time It's you kind of fucked up because we only told her about the microphones and now you totally this cameras I feel like we're gonna better at yeah I mean as long as they have valid credit card information and pay 25 a month they can watch the creepy website I'm gonna go find Silicon artist To fill That's like it that you say that at the table you put all the roses on which was the breakfast which we're all at Everyone's still around the breakfast note talking at full volume It's been my head around three six like you want to talk?
Yeah, you might want to step outside This might get messy I do so step outside Why in hell are there actual cameras in this house? Oh It's it's not what you think it's just so I can look at it all of you at all the time If I need to Yeah, oh Well, then yeah, that's the reason okay What is this about other people being able to see this too? Well, here's the thing There's a lot of like overhead with all this and I'm kind of running low on Kishish So like to supplement our income. I've been doing this it seems to be working out well Did I is going to reach out and grab silicon artist like collarbone and stretch it towards her like she's grabbing a shirt and pulling him towards her Yeah, that doesn't that doesn't do anything look you dumbass Recoil and the general have found me because of your bullshit.
I was perfectly fine before now. So this is all your fault You get to fix it. I just wanted to kill the I offered to kill your sister. That would have fixed it, but no It would have helped no and she's my kill not yours.
I keep saying that We just kill whomever we want like there's no like dibs Well, I did call dibs my dips my sister my dips. I get to shoot her in the face not you I was this general guy and I pull out my phone Who's this general guy can like look at the user names and see who it is Is he general 666? I mean he is the devil. So yeah sure okay, there's actually like six people with the username the general so We may have to narrow this down somehow well Knox knows computer things see if not to figure it out Hey, not it switches over to Knox and acts as helmet off Nox and RPM your other for your still the breakfast nook.
I'm still making French toast for you. Could you keep eating it? No plans on leaving? Okay, what was that English?
He's gonna point to one of the minions and like point over to her I don't know it doesn't sound like English didn't sound like English to me either. Yeah God damn it. I'm fucking yes. I get it.
Jeez. I've got syrup all over my hands. Give me a goddamn second. Oh Don't do anything by themselves look.
I don't know how to use computer. Okay. I was trying to keep it a secret Damn it not fuck you. Well, it doesn't know how to use a computer He says to be a star breakfast nook.
So I'm already spaces as hands Everyone else is continuing to work and they're trying there all of the minions have started avoiding all of you Wait, so none of the minions ways their hand either? No, they all know how to use a computer there there They're under 40 and they live in America. They're not using Peter. Well, some of them just came from overseas.
Yeah All of them are not actually reading all of you assholes. So okay, I drag these two off to a different room with a bunch of computers And I teach a course real quick. Okay, I actually know that he's a computer I mean RPM just a way you only drag those two you can drag RPM in no no He's also been manually communicating with computers He knows how to double click, okay All right, so just destroys the mouse are y'all doing a computer class for a while RPM. What do you up to?
I mean, I'll just I probably am just getting upset with the with the wait staff at the speed because the speed which they're cooking French toast It's much slower than the speed of which I can consume it. So I will I'll take over You know, I could probably just do this better myself. I need to zip in around the kitchen Alright, so you start cooking your own French I realize that like me being fast doesn't make things cook faster, but it's fine Just by existing by a stove doesn't make it I did that shit on the flash when Barry like she woke up and like there were just pastries and pancakes and French toast like all over the place It's like I made this all for you because I'm fast. I'm like that's not how that works Although he could run multiple ovens at a time, but he only had the one He generated friction around himself and baked everything like that.
Yeah You've rubbed his chest a lot and then just put all this stuff on his chest and cooked it off the tip Yeah, you're making fast French toast. Yeah, so what are you guys doing on the computers? Just like are you surfing the web? First up teaching them how to use Excel, right then we go to the web, okay?
Well, when you get around to go to the web you see you see a lot of advertisements for The church of Orion and they're like contribute today. Don't eat today building a church near you It's like hello, Bert We are building a church of Orion near your town come down join us for our free picnic and donate money if you want to I actually can't hungry those berries didn't really do all that for me. Where's the where's the closest church of Orion to us in Lippa's Harbor Hey guys, let's tell me what What Look you guys don't have to be fixed about it. Let's try and make conversation.
I think we all know where we live Cilicon artist You do but I need to be constantly reminded why I got the mind palace. It's gets it gets weird sometimes Okay, but isn't that supposed to help you remember things? Yeah, but I get lost in there and I forget where I'm at And that's not a mind palace. That's a mind maze Wait, what's a maze?
It's corn Ah I'm gonna walk back into the breakfast and like just yell at all the minions. There's we're going on it We're going on field trips everyone in the in the Mazar adis. There's no minions. It's just RPM quickly cooking French house Damn it.
Where did the RPM? What did the minions go? I told him get the fuck out of here the bad at French toast the bad at cooking in general They've been murdered they murdered silicon silicon artists. I got it silicon artists French berries Oh, I thought you meaning they murdered him which I would probably give them No, no, no, no, nothing so sinister.
It's the berries the bad cooks. So I told you get your phone And I'm a head cook now. I'm head of HR and I'm your head cook All right You're getting so many things done because you're so fast. It's a very fast.
I could face through things you should you really see some shit? I mean real fast. You're facing. How is your relations with a church with church with her with our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ?
Well, I mean more specifically about towards Orion, but sure why not Orion the production company from the 90s Sure, let's just say that yeah, someone's created religion around that they were just getting up free food We were gonna go see if we want to get more food after this I'm in let's go One yeah My as he drives me away my head stays there for a second say I heard When did this become a loony tunes So it's the beginning of this episode apparently look you have your powers Alright, so Knox and I how are you getting to the picnic? I was ready so you guys are mozzarodying around both of you give me a note s Did I you know a little bit because you've had some military training as you're driving around there seems to be kind of a large truck Tailing you guys it tells you for a couple blocks and then kind of peels off But it stays like it stays like three or four car links behind and it's like a really big massive like pickup truck It tells you for a little while and you can tell it's telling you and then it kind of peels off when you take like a turn Towards the picnic I will make note of it and keep an eye out for it later, but I'm not gonna mention it to not Okay, all right, so everyone is at the picnic now It's like this big community picnic and they are currently it's like outside of where they're building this very very massive and looks like futuristic tech ish church and They welcome you the people there like oh welcome everybody welcome are you guys all in like super long costume going to the picnic? Yes, all right Knox is probably the only one actually dressed up and not in his suit Is this so you just like a normal get everybody else looks like in weirdos? They welcome you all in anyway, they're like welcome have food if you want to help out build a church that'd be fantastic You have any gluten free options.
Oh absolutely see that whole section over there. That's all gluten free. Oh my god Finally I haven't eaten in days. They've been starving me walk over there And I get a full plate and then I drop it in the trash and I go back for another plate That's your diet is throw the fun away Drop them carbs Can I go to the person that greet us and just Is there anything that we can obviously donate but what about your tenants?
You have like a bible or alternate thingy It's our book I could read yes pamphlets like what's what's what's the deal? What's the download? What is this really a pyramid scheme? What's going on?
Let me know there's absolutely no pyramid scheme Um all the money that we get is to build new buildings help out the community and for outreach We do have pamphlets in the literature that I can give you on there's a little bit of it So that might take a little bit to read but I can get you the literature if you need it Okay, but basically we're about you know about rockets What's the what's about rockets? Uh not really our domain. We're just in here. Uh, Worshbing things like don't know what you what you are from us.
We're not scientists. We're just a people in the community You just had a fancy building. It was a very, you know Lines on it. I guess yeah, yeah, I don't know I guess rockets are cool I want to take out the kids the other day the other weekend We did these things where he like hooked a hose up to a soda bottle and we put like a car We're fins on it and we ended like little water rockets.
That's what you mean. No, it's a lot RPM. What are you doing at the picnic watching patiently? All right, keep an eye out.
Just really Keeping being careful. That's that's RPM deal. Is it? Yeah.
Yeah, what have I ever done to make you think that's not the case? Monkey paw. It's fine RPM you get a text okay, I read the from from your special phone the text Like do I have to put in a code? Did they tell me the code or do it recognize my thumbprint?
And if so, how do they get my thumbprint into the phone? It's just a tea pass lip phone so it doesn't have a password? Oh shit. It's a phone.
It says there's a man in in Lake Biz Harbor that I would I need you to direct these people to kill and I need you to take something off of him. Hold on. We write this down. I know I'm getting a text and I can review it at any time but It's a little bit great about so there's a guy in the harbor in late late Lapras Harbor.
Yep. Lipas Harbor Like the Pokemon. Yep. Okay.
You want me to have them kill him. Yeah, and take his item. Okay. What's his item?
It's a ring. What's it do? It's a smog ring. Oh, okay.
I create smog. Guys, we need it I mean not say the factory. That's all you want. No Yeah, okay, you're the boss boss.
I Don't know why are you giving me a return? Is that a do you text that back to them? Yeah, they said that you'll be paid well your meta powers will be alleviated if you want And not make you not a man anymore, which is something you want to yeah, yeah, that was true still true. It's not a character It's true Okay, well, yeah, I gather the fellas together the fellas and the fellas they send you a GPS coordinates Who does on over the text?
It's just like oh, I just said I gather the fellas. So I thought you'd tell me the fellas sent me No, no, they give you like a longitude and longitude Okay Two of them two longitudes It's one of these two circles around the globe Okay, hey fellas Yeah, what's up? I finally got some food in my belly feeling so much better trash can looks pretty full You guys you guys want to get out here. You know, you guys my hangout.
You know, can we can we head out on the road? I got some place to be I want you to come to my family, but I have a we didn't blow up the church yet. Okay. Yeah Let's do that.
Let's do that real quick like I mean if we could just take like the next ten of the stops And then I want to show you guys to sing real quick and I want you to kill man wait, why Just let's just kill him. This has been a long time since we've done some good old-fashioned killing, you know, you and me We just killed a whole bunch of people on that boat hours ago. Maybe days my sense of time You know my time moves at a different speed for me. I'm very fast and my brain works You're a Johnson you can kill them.
I'm good for the moment unless he does it's not in my shape RPM pulls out his lip phone and just fearlessly text do I need to have them kill him or can I just kill him myself? That's fine. You can do it. I just need his ring.
Okay. Well, see you later He comes back how do I get to Lapras harbor this phone doesn't have GPS Let's go on. No, no, no, Lapis like Lapras And then see with me with it lay piss like you're pissing into something piss not press What what is this? This Heart bar here.
We live here. This is the place that we're at this. Yes, we're Lapras. Oh, yeah, okay there We're here in it.
This is the town. This is the town. Yes. He pulls his phone back up.
What was that guys name again? London do you need help with something? I'm texting I'm on a phone knocks. All right.
I give you space You get this as his name is London fog London for you're squirting. It's just go get him. Yeah, yeah, okay Oh, yeah, I guess but this one is an Fgps We covered that Alex triccup up here. Okay, hold on.
Let me get out of my phone It has GPS on it. What gave me the coordinates. Okay, give him the coordinates. All right, you give them the quads and then he hands you his phone He's gone.
He's in the way again. Yeah, all right, so the three of you sitting there after RPM takes off What are you guys doing? So did you have like any bombs or what are we? Oh, you sweet summer child My boss Very sac religious.
This is not wait. It's not my brother's to the church. No, I meant there's not this food I meant to bring the minions to feed them, but you know, they did want to they just left so Let's just blow it up and can't we just like take it over here? So kind of take one of these and that I was gonna toss in one of the bombs.
I have a bomb in my hand so No, is everyone in the church the church is only partially built everyone's outside eating picnic and throwing a Frisbee's and whatnot. Oh, I grab a frisbee from the frisbee bucket that's there Okay I slinging it back and I throw directly at the church with a bomb strapped to the frisbee. I shoot it All right, throw a roll shoot here around both of you roll shoot. Oh shit.
We have to roll Plus five I does not roll super well One all right you didn't get in near the church But you did throw the the frisbee with a bomb attached and it kind of it veers hard to the right into like a crowd of people But that I shoots it and it blows up and blows up a whole big crowd of like a couple of families and everyone starts running in every direction Screaming oh, I missed shit. I didn't I'm here. You arrive at a coffee shop. Oh, okay.
These are the coordinates Coffee the guys like the guy the counter like a what kind of coffee sir? Coaches this is like really like it's a nice place. We talk about Starbucks here. It's it's a nova coin It's it's Starbucks, but it's called nova coin.
Okay, you guys got like a nice guy My own roast and trip absolutely sir We have a taste like okay, okay, let me try this taste alike sir He gets you like a really tiny small sample cup and poor little taste like in it and hands do you? I drink it doesn't taste alike. It's close not very but close Yeah, fine and since this is a low tier coffee shop give me this in a KFC bucket They're like the KFC Taco Bell is across the street All right, are you do you want your coffee in the KFC buckets that we're actually I've had to stack like three KFC buckets And I know that you need to do this for personal experience because we ordered KFC water in a KFC bucket one time And the bottom broke out when we're passing it between the drive through window in the car All right, so they feel your KFC bucket with coffee Okay, they're still checking in it. Yeah You have to buy chicken to get a KFC bucket.
They don't just give those out Listen, this is the means to an end. So I guess a nice quiet corner like maybe like a one of like a so far something drink my my Guatemalan chicken coffee and It's kind of scope out the place So I see the dude that I'm supposed to be I assume that this phone doesn't get pictures So I can't get like picture the dude. Yeah, you see the dude he's a guy He's got like slip back hair and a trench coat and you see his his beautiful ring on his hand as he's drinking some coffee I'm on a computer trying to see if I can use Between seconds to get his ring Um Yeah, so you're trying to steal it. Yeah Say that I have to kill a guy Well, they said get his thing.
I mean I guess you could not kill him if you really wanted to Okay, but look to you I thought they had said that I thought they had specifically said and it'd be great if there was like a log of this conversation It's like kind of fun, but there's a log they said get his thing if you have to kill him. That's fine. Okay They look like a beefy dude. You look pretty strong.
No, he looks pretty spell Okay, and this is the middle of a crowded coffee shop or is it pretty slow day? It's medium busy. It's not super busy, but there's there's a good handful of patrons Right, what is the right blogs and stuff? What's the level of their like coffee pots look like?
Does it look like they've recently refilled or do they are they running low and they probably need to brew a new classroom? They're about three-fourths full three-fourths full anything like Remind me if there's like a reaction thing for initiating combat like if you know kind of similar to rolling initiative if They don't know that you're attacking you get the first attack like but if you're grabbing or something they can defend against it. All right Zip up to him now and do a flurri blows Oh, no, yeah, that's between seconds like everything you could you spend you can have another turn. Okay.
Yeah, yeah, yeah Okay, so I have three so so so like the one action so that's four right total then yes That's for you to take all four just a bunch of it listen. I know half measures Okay, so so is he where is he in line is he at the counter is he sitting down? He's sitting down he's typing on a computer How close to the counter he's like two tables away from the counter okay? So I want to zip up to him and I want to throw him over the counter if I can make it Okay, so I need to use athletics fight well, I can use a plug for fight.
Okay, then yeah Six all right you throw him over the counter. He didn't see you coming Okay, and then what is movement a thing do I need to worry about my movement or can I just keep not really unless you're moving like huge distances? Okay So I want to zip back up to him and then smash the space new coffee pot like one of the car runs not like a metal one What like a glass one? No, no, like it.
Well, yeah, like a metal one. Oh, okay. Yeah, sorry go for it Three so three are you just based on a coffee pot? Okay?
I Grab after I do that with the one hand with the other hand I grab a coffee pot and I pour out the three quarters of a pot That's left in there onto the dude. All right Nine Okay, what's what's his finger like is it kind of puffy am I gonna be able to get this ring off easily probably not looks like he's been wearing it for a Long time, okay, I have to cut the digit off Yeah, yeah, I want to try I want to try to bite off his finger My jaw is super athletic roll for seven all right you bite his finger off. It's been out the ring in my hand is he alive Alive yeah, not doing well All right, you're gone all right back at the picnic The guy that greeted us at the picnic do I see him through the crowd? Yeah, he's running away.
I Grab him. I want to bear hug him and I want to keep him close. I want to bring him back to dead I an oxen myself. All right, roll fight to grab God rolling again.
Fuck As long as I get the game. What is this? I got to wash my rolling if I just close to but oh No fights plus four so I got four all right. Yeah, you got him Perfect.
I bring him back to the group. I'm like hey, bud so Here's the thing I break his legs Did you say he doesn't like it? No, he doesn't like it Yeah, so I'm gonna need you to tell me more about your church here. He's just yelling and trying to get away I I grabbed one of his fingers and I break it All right now if you want that to stop happening, you're gonna tell me about your church I didn't know you were this religious silicone artist.
I'm not trying to join then why do you need to know that it's church? I thought we were just playing shot but No, there's there's mostly something going on here like people don't advertise unless there's some deceptive scheme behind it Okay, did I hand knocked? What are you doing during this? Knox will walk over next to silicon artist on this guy biting his fingers off take off his like tie and just kind of drop on the ground And look at look at look at it did I first and then shake his head and look at silicon artist and shake his head Silicon artist what the fuck do you think you're doing?
Interrogating him. No, you're not doing anything of the sort We came here for free food and we got that and then you blew up a whole family of people that could have been working and doing something more productive than being here at this Goddamn church instead. You're biting this meant spingers off. I'm not biting.
That's in the other scene. I'm breaking I know you want to well, that's good off of him. No, he's on me. It's technically on me.
Push him off of you Yeah, do it. I say pass and tell him the guy to so you're just fighting. Don't know what are you doing? Uh, just standing there All right watching the drama because I'm enjoying it the guy the guy's like what do you want to know?
I don't know. What do you want to know? What's the major plan here buddy? Why don't you have a pyramid scheme?
We're just here to the store appreciation to the predictor of humans. Oh, oh, it was alright. It's too Look at Orion. This is just a situation.
We worship. Why do you fucking go bug the Catholics? I know who got is. I don't know who Orion is.
Uh rpm, you zoom back. Yeah, because you're fast. You're there Silicon artist is torturing a man. Everyone else is running from the scene.
I just take a comb sip of my chicken coffee Spit out a bone And now you look down at my phone text him back and say hey, what do you want me to do with this rig? Uh, they said hold on to it for now. Okay. Can I can I wear it?
Uh, yeah, but you're but unless you know how to use it. It won't really work No, okay, i'm gonna wear it anyway. Um, I'm my love hand index finger All right, the girls away knocks gonna go over and bend down to the Orion guy and grab his like shirt and pull him up close And just be like, you know what? No now you worship me motherfuckers.
I'm the savior of humanity I'm the savior of all your motherfuckers. Do you see those dead people over there? There's gonna be more like them if you don't fucking change the name to the church of knocks I'm not in charge of that. Hold on.
Hold on. Shut that. No, you shut the hell up the church of hard knocks. There it is I don't have that.
I don't care get up there on a paint get up there with a paint can and change it. I can't my legs are broken Silicon artist. I believe you can help this man with his broken legs indeed I mean wait wait silicon artist can fix legs. Yeah, pretty much.
You just become their exosuit Like I've become this guy's exosuit Just engulf him. Yeah, mostly just the lower half. Well, I'm still kind of holding him and I begin walking him towards the church That's pretty easy. I actually do it quite often.
All right, so you become this man's pants Uh, he's crying and starting to paint the church. It's lovely. I walk over to dead That's gonna pick me up and put me on one of the tables and then fire a gun in the air Why? Because I want to make a speech.
It'll be cool. Just take it. Oh, okay fine. I'll do it Pick him up.
I'm not single He's like, I'm on a table now. Okay, listen up. All of you people with free food. They're all like running You're five knocks.
All right. They're all gone. Talk to the area Okay, I'm talking to the dead people then look at listen dead people Everyone everyone will notice one three three four all right, uh, rpm and dead Are you hear the sound of police sirens coming from over the buildings? Uh, it's time to go I'm not trying to go.
Top turn away time to go. Let's go move it. All right fine. In the muzzer out.
Let's go They're approaching very quickly. Quicker than you think a car would via street wait. Are we are we super villains? We'll be free cops for I'm not in my suit Yeah, he's a little squishy.
We came here in our suits. You guys did I came to church. I came to learn you guys wanted to blow shit up Well, I mean, not so not necessarily, but we didn't you know again, you know for old times sake just there. I have a rumble We could You hear the squealing tires and the sirens getting closer.
Oh, okay fine. All that's happening real quick I want to nail the dude to the building Oh, no never mind. I don't I want to bring him back to the mansion with us wait No, you should you should you should nail to the building but have where the the writing is the X is him But like just laid out as the X. Okay.
All right. All right. All right. All right.
Um, how are you guys? We try to flee the area I make a slingshot shoot the guy across the All right, we'll see that's how I get him back. All right, dude. Okay.
I'm just gonna say you do that because that's fine He's just a meat pancake in front of the mansion And then I hop on uh rpms lab rpm and silicon artist are you still or rp-ming back to the mansion? Yeah Sure, I got what I needed. All right, uh, not not today Noxin did I are getting in to the car before not to dead I can get very far because they're driving via car Um, they're cut off by a large ice ramp that comes from the top of one of the buildings and circles around the road And all the building a cop car riding on the ice ramp does like a cool tokyo drift around the the big ice ramp and onto the road and spins around And as it's spinning around a guy steps out of the car And he's got like a ice blue cop outfit. He's carrying like a gun and he's like kiss frosty cop This guy Why This is where we will end this episode of villain underground.
I have been your game moustard. Uh happy Can you find me on twitter at happy puke? I'm phil you can find me on twitter at canada underscore philip with two else I'm coding and you can find me on the twitter at code 3 Um, and you can find me on twitter at aluminum underscore. I died I'm mike and you can find me at the mike bachman on twitter And if you like this podcast as well, please check us out on the twitter machine at sh u podcast If you like us enough to support us, maybe head over to patreon.com slash sh u podcast If you are going to geeklycon 2017 we're having a panel on Friday at noon where everybody gets to be a hero and they get killed by the villains which we now know they are more than apt to do Um, we are also making a card game bit slow going because everybody has real life But email us at hypercrisis beta and or tweet us and we'll get you the information to get that done I guess anything else anybody wants to plug?
Nope, nobody else is doing anything important. Goodbye I like that I'm alie. I'm kody I'm quid and i'm laurie And we're all host of good looks bad books a podcast where we read and discuss bad romance novels We go in depth on topics like what the hell's a Swedish periscope? How many fingers does it take to make you a slut?
Not magic be a clear dicks cat people dino penises and so much more So go ahead and give us a listen though. Please be honest you might regret it