Hey, babes, it's your Game Mustard, and I want to tell you a little bit about Arklight Podcast. Now, this episode of villains is brought to you by Arklight Podcast, and if you like the people on this show, I really recommend you head over to Arklight and check that out. It's a real play podcast with the use of the Mutant Year Zero and Coriolis rule set. It's a bit more serious than this here villains, because this here villains is a goof-em-ups.
So if you're looking for something, you know, with a little more structure story, some love crafted characters, head over there, and there's some familiar voices. You can hear my Adulcetones and Phil's Adulcetones, and there's a lot of Adulcetones. It's just like six or seven Adulcetones reading out in a choir. So if you're a fan of things that are Adulcet, give that business a go.
Wait, where are you at? The second lowercase x. I'm sorry. I'm sorry.
I got it. Wait, the first lowercase x or the second lowercase x? Second lowercase x. Okay, underscore.
Why is that there? Okay. Happy puke underscore. Okay.
Are you following me? Yeah, I'm good. Lowercase x. Uppercase x.
Okay. Okay. So that'll be my new. That's it.
That's all. I'm not seeing you on here. Oh, fuck. Okay.
We are a real play-based podcast about super villains and iconical universe with everything else here on this feed. Would anyone like to tell us what happened on the last heart-throbbing action-packed villains underground that was pure adrenaline rush thrill a minute non-stop. What happened? What happened?
Well, we started off with a bomb in our living room except the bomb was actually a confetti slash glitter bomb that was an invitation to puzzle King's 50th birthday party. So we went and we played carnival games. Yes. Mm-hmm.
What else? Yeah. Yeah. And silicon artist was looking for people with weird eyes.
For a reason. Let's just. Okay. So silicon artist got anxious about someone else getting puzzle King the same gift that silicon artist got him.
Yes. So he was looking for people with weird eyes. Yeah. Yeah.
That's exactly. Yeah. And Robynobo was hanging out with his best friend Greg. Wait with Greg.
Yep. Good old Greg. Good old. Good old Greg.
All right. Okay. So we're gonna we're gonna cut back in on silicon artist and the robot who you whom you didn't. Oh, you asked me.
He says his name is Carl Sanchez. The robot whom you know is Carl Sanchez says, oh, I see. I see one box with a brush in it. I only see one box with a brush in it, but it also has some other stuff in there too.
Is it my box? He points to the box. Yeah. And it's the box that you brought.
Okay. That's good. That's actually mine. Are there any others?
No. You got you said you only got a brush though, right? Well, it was kind of a combo gift with my other friends. That seems like a really weird combo gift.
Those things don't go together at all. No, it's they're all it's all shaving stuff. What? He likes to shave.
How is that all shaving stuff? We've got a towel to wipe out the excess. I've seen I'm seeing the towel. Yes.
We got a horse hair brush which is intended for gathering the shaving cream on there and then there's a bottle. Correct. Uh huh. Yeah.
That's after shave. Okay. And then the snake statue. I'm sorry.
In the box, there's like a weird like crazy looking snake statue with a bunch of heads. How is that a shaving instrument? Well, this is like really it seems like it's just kind of shoved in there too. Like really haphazardly.
You know, it was kind of a last last minute addition. I will say that. It's it's like a little pot that you can put all the shaving cream into and then you dip the brush into that and it keeps it nice and fresh. All right.
Okay. Okay. So here's my thing. That's not really a PK is aesthetic.
So I know that you don't what? How do you mean? He's just not really not that weird gothic sneaky dragon shit. Oh, you mean the pot?
Okay. The brush is good. He likes that. He likes to put on cognac.
He likes old scotch. That guy. He's one of those dudes. But the weird snake statue, I don't think he's gonna put that in his bathroom.
I think you might have missed up there, my friend. I mean, I don't mean to shit on your gift. I really don't mean to shit on your gift. But like everything else in the box spot on the weird snake statue.
I'm gonna say and not great. Mr. Sanchez, I want to thank you for the very bottom of my heart. That's why I checked because I'll be honest.
I don't know puzzling all that well. Fair enough. I did not enough to like actually even be here. So I don't want a big social faux pas being the first thing that you know, he gets from me is a gift he's already gotten.
I can't even begin to imagine that. So I'm gonna take this. I'm gonna take your advice and I'm gonna take this gift and we're gonna I'm gonna solve it. So yeah, I grab the I grab gifts.
Okay. And I slip. I slip Carl Sanchez, the one of the gold bars from my left shit. Okay.
And he's like, oh, you can you can you can you can call me by my my new name. I had to change names recently. I'm with the new installation of the the really cool eye. I'm now the hot monocle.
Okay, that's cool. Yeah. So I go ahead and I turn back around and I'm actually gonna start tearing open the gift right there. Even though the party is starting to open the gift.
Yeah, I'm gonna do it. Okay. All right. You start tearing open the gift.
The party. So I take out the snake statue. All right. You take out the snake statue.
Does it say anything to me? Yeah, it says mail me. All right. I close up the rest of the box.
If I kind of throw it, I throw the box that's I know has been unwrapped right back into the onto the table. Are you gonna have has really rapid again or just toss it? Nope, just toss it. Okay.
All right. You have has really tossed into the pile pristine pile of gifts. Sure. I think we're way back out to the to the carnival games.
I'm looking for dead eye at this point. All right. We will cut to dead eye. Dead eye.
You are there and Ziflank squirrel has cost the the plush that you threw at him and Silicon artist walks up to you. He's like, Oh, has he gone on this? I see you are here as well. Yeah, do it.
I'm sorry. I'm very bad with faces. Well, I'm wearing a mask. So that probably doesn't help very much.
Character aesthetics, I guess. I've got a fluffy tailman and Ziflank squirrel. Oh, I thought you're frosty cop. You know, I would not be standing next to Frosty cop.
Oh, the frosty cop. He's I see guys on him or I'm here. You want me to see the gone over? Yes.
And we're leaving and we're walking. He's a very nice. He's a very nice guy. You should really get to know him.
I'm gonna grab Silicon artist on him and just like drag him away. Seems kind of rude. I mean, we're just talking to the flying frosty cop over there and he's gonna get right across the sea. Flying squirrels is his name is a flying squirrel.
Okay. Yeah, like we're just gonna walk away. Just just just trust me on this one. Just walk away.
I'll get dragged away. Yeah. Okay. So the colors and that you have you have walked away from Ziflank squirrel.
I want to go outside where there aren't as many freaking heroes walking around. Hey, do you still have that there might? Oh shit. Yeah, I forgot to give it to you, didn't I?
I'll hand over. I'll hand over a small amount of thermite. You don't need a lot of that shit. I'm gonna go light this there might off in the parking lot.
I got to melt this guy and I hold up the statue. Hey, you know what would be really funny is if you found Greg's car and lit the thermite on top of Greg's car, like the engine block. That'd be funny. You know, if it does seem like a stable surface.
Yeah. You know what? Make and model he drives. Let's go ask him.
Okay. All right. Roble and Greg, what are you guys up to? We're trying to calm down great bigger and uh, bike about.
Oh, right, right. Great robbers like it took me. It took me like forever to find Amelia Earhart's corpse and you just snapped her in two dude. Back by.
Well, you shouldn't have had her fly to play into a bank. Are you guys going to take this outside or you just going to keep lapping it up in here? Oh, bro. I'm cool.
I'm cool. Well, maybe just walk away and maybe this other guy will simmer down. I'm trying, but I'm like, all right. I mean, there's only so many bathrooms and I was in line for this one.
This dude, whatever. I'll just walk away and Greg, Greg, forever forever. Well, don't walk away. I mean, he ruins like almost everything I had to stitch him back together.
Takes forever, man. I understand you got a beef, but you're not supposed to beef it here. Robo Robo Robo we work together before Robo. I mean, you know my thing.
You know my zombies, right? They're good dudes. Like, why is he? I mean, I understand fighting them.
You got to do what you got to do, but he went like above and beat since like breaking, but like after they're down, breaking bones, smash and skulls. What the hell? Robo's going to jump in front of him and uh, put his chest up and get some go. I'm down, bro.
Calm down. I don't know. I don't know why I got stepped to me. I thought we were friends, man.
That we were okay. I see how I'm just holding the back to them to come. Okay. I see how does everybody's on the bike or bot side.
Oh, I'm just the asshole that smells like graveyard. Nobody called you any names, man. We're just trying to, you're just like, you're just like not interested in, in common this thing down. There's like no, like listen to reason.
Like about walks, obviously like, I don't have to put up with this, man. You don't. Yeah. You just had that way.
Maybe this guy will eventually come. I'm just going to circle the block of my sweet hog. Maybe by the time I'm back, he's got to shit put together. Like I got to buy shit put together.
Get your shit together, man. Get your shit together. There's rules of, of interaction. And when you're stopping somebody, you don't go above and beyond those handcuffs, zombies don't smash their skulls in bullshit, man.
There's just no talking to this guy down. You don't find find Robo. You're going to sit here and you're going to tell me to calm down. I'll go over there.
I'm going to go over that. I'll go take a breather. Just don't buy fuck it. He starts walking away.
Who who pissed in that guy's Wheaties? Oh, I don't know. I did. I've never seen that before.
No talking down. Maybe I'll relax now. Separated. Maybe we should go find a other old friend turntable and maybe you can play some sort of music to calm it down a little bit.
They do say that music suits a savage beast, you know, it's not a bad idea. All right. So today and so I kind of just you come across a Robo and Greg who are standing there. Great Robert looks to be like walking walking away kind of shimmy sham on to both sides like he's had a little too much to drink.
Great Robert. Whatever man seems rude. All right. So hey Greg, my friend here is looking for a new car and I've heard that yours is pretty dope.
What did you drive again? It's uh, well, it's it started off as a Ford, you know, a Ford F like one of them, 650. It's big, big Ford truck, but it's been it's been modified. So he won't find one like it.
He'd have to just go get like a stock one and then you get out fit that thing. However, he wanted to go to tons of custom shops. I, you know, I got my guys. They do all my stuff, but they don't do a lot of stuff for the general public.
But you know, if he wants a big truck like that, he'd get, you know, going on a Ford dealer, get a chassis with the cab and then just start start bolt and stuff to it, you know, you got that that sweet candy red, right? No, it's it's yellow with black, black highlights on it. Some chrome, you know, I did grow for a while. I got kind of tired of most of the chrome blackout, the special, uh, Matt, you know, Matt paint there.
But your friend, do what you want. You know, once you're going custom, you could skies a limit, you know? Yeah. Hey, cool.
Thanks for that advice. I'm gonna, we have this game. I, you know, I told Silicon artists that he would not be able to beat me at ring toss. So I see you shouldn't have been on it.
I wouldn't bet against you. I've seen you shoot. You got that fish. You weren't even looking past that ball.
Boop, boop, right in the ball. I'm surprised. I didn't think the fish. So I wouldn't bet against you.
We're just, we're just, we're just gonna go now and do that ring tossing. So, uh, yeah, bye. Hey, see ya. I mean, walk away and go like out front and find his truck.
All right. So did I, so aren't you going to go look for his truck? Sure. Got it.
You gotta have a stable surface for the thermite, right? Okay. All right. So, uh, Robl Greg, what are you guys doing now?
Well, I don't know Greg. It doesn't look like there's any, uh, freak show stuff back here. Um, it was just, it was just good. I was fighting.
Um, maybe that was a freak show. We did look kind of freaky. They're all freaked out, you know? Man, that was it.
I thought, I thought PK was gonna have something back here, but maybe he didn't do it this year. I don't have you seen puzzle king. I haven't seen him in a while. He was, you know, roaming around greeting everybody.
You know how it is when you're the host of a party here. You're, you're probably not having the best time. You even know it's a party. You got all that work to do.
Got to greet everybody. Make sure everybody's happy. I'll be in a host. It's not, not easy gig.
I bet you his, it's fun times tomorrow, you know, when he does his own thing. Where you guys headed? I'm kind of hungry. I was going to hit the snack.
They wanted them cheese crackers. I'm a pretty good. You know, get the jalapeno cheese. I Swiss cheese, uh, uh, what cheese I heard of.
Greer, greer, greer, greer, I don't want to say it. It's a good one though. It's pretty tasty stuff, you know? I want to be sticking open to this.
I just do. I want to miss that. Let's go check it out. I bet she's going to get some pretty cool stuff.
Wait, see the other guy's face when he opens mine though. He's going to be a little pissed. All right. So you guys are going to go to the snack.
Why don't we forget? Okay. Gotcha. All right.
Out in front of the building, there are a lot of different vehicles and supercars and whatnot. Roll some sort of, uh, find or notice skill to try to find Greg's vehicle in particular. Got a plus three plus two on notice. All right.
You see it in the distance. It's kind of taking up a number of parking spaces because it's real, it's real long. This big is a big old truck. I sure this is a real good idea.
This sort of seems like fighting and I think people might be upset and I kind of don't want to ruin the party. Like, wait, the truth is only inside the house. This is outside the house. So it's fine.
Do you think puzzle looking would look, it would look poorly to him? I again, I'm kind of a little bit nervous about meeting like him and I don't want this to ruin our friendship, potential friendship, but I should say I don't know puzzle. But look, if you don't want to do it fine, whatever, I just thought it would be funny because, you know, what's Greg and he's a joker that Greg. He seems like a nice guy.
Yeah. Mm hmm. Nice guy. Great guy.
Mm hmm. Totally don't want to shoot him every time he opens his mouth. I'm not going to tell you what to do if you want to light it on fire. You can do that and I'll hand the statue to you.
Why are you handing me this spooky? Wait, didn't you throw this out the helicopter window? Yeah, this is the same one. It always kind of comes back.
That's why we got to light it on fire. That's why you have to light it on fire. I'm not touching that shit. Can I set it down and then you set that there might on top of it and then you light it on fire?
As long as I don't have to touch it, sure. All right. You sure you don't want to set it down on Greg's truck though? Really?
I think the asphalt should be okay, right? Yeah, fine. Just lame, but whatever. I want to very slightly, or as quickly as I can, try to touch her with the trophy.
Just like on the arm, not aggressively, just kind of like playfully like, okay, and I tap her with it. You get tapped with her. All right, contest a fight. Not to hit, but like, yeah, I got a four.
Can I use gun, Phil? If you're going to use a gun to parry it. No, that's a zero. All right, you get you get touched by the weird statue.
Goddamn it, Silicon artist. I told you not to touch me with it. Does it do anything? It's still creepy.
I literally given it to massacre. I told him to hold on to it for dear life. Oh, she's actually kind of losing a lot of very a lot of at this moment. But you didn't hold on to it very well.
So he probably doesn't have the strength to hold on to it. I fed him today. The other day. Yeah, I guess yesterday.
Okay, you know, every Monday, you just put it down on the ground. I'm going to light this thing on fire. All right, fine. You delight something on fire.
I set it down away from like structures and or vehicles. Like the most open spot I can find. I will carefully light the thermite. On top of it.
Yes. All right, the thermite lights, it looks like it's like burning on top of it for a while. As you guys are you guys going to stay and watch it? Oh, yeah.
Hell yeah. Watch this. Yeah. Okay.
I was just standing and watching it. Baron Von Heat kind of steps next to you guys like, what are you guys up to? Oh, hey, Baron. We're lighting this weird statue on fire.
That's weird. I'm the parking lot. Yeah, same convenient. I think you guys were like coming out here because you had like some brownies or you know, some herb or something.
I guess you're just lighting a weird statue on fire. So, yeah. I mean, you could help if you wanted to. That's rude.
What? What's not rude? What do you need? It seems like you already lit it.
Yeah. Is it is it melting now? It doesn't look like it's doing a great job starting to make some damage though. Could you maybe give us like a little bit of a hands then?
Oh, yeah. I mean, it's what I mean. I'm a man. I'm a man.
I'm a what I do. You guys, do you guys have any like brownies or treats or anything or it's really hard to get through a party and aren't you in the program for drinking? Well, not really drinking. It was a pills thing.
Pills. It's different. It's a whole different category. It's not though.
A little bit. It's not. Baron, come on. You know, look, this is truly tempting you.
No, it's not. I'll melt your statue. That's fine. I'll melt your statue.
I just thought never mind here. Fine. I'll melt your statue. Say it's better minds off of it.
If you want to melt the statue, then we'll maybe go to like six flags or okay. Well, six lands sounds good. Yeah. He unbeacles his big metal boot and takes his lava foot out of the thing and just steps on the statue.
It's like, there, I'm melting your statue. I can feel it in my foot. It's melting. It's starting to melt.
I was thinking it was built out of something crazy, wasn't it? Where'd you get this stupid thing? Oh, it kind of finds me. We think it's like first like every time I throw away, it comes back to me.
Where'd you get a cursed at you? I'm thinking about it. It's always just kind of in there. Yeah.
That's just the day you were. I don't remember you ever having this. No. I mean recently, like last six months, it's just kind of been there like showed up in a car one time and I thought it was cool.
So I kept it. Do you really not remember where it came from? I really don't. 100% do not.
Way, way back in the day, UPS man wanted noxisign for a package. You shaped it into noxisign for the package. That's right. And ever since then, this statue has been following you around.
Okay. We've done 51 of the air 50s at this point. No, yeah. A long time ago, UPS package of sign four in this game.
Mine. Yeah. There's been so many. You just had to get from the collector.
You would at the time you assumed it's because you fucked up his silence. That's right. And it was supposed to be for noxisign for yourself. Yeah.
Steel and Cody's story. I'm great at that. All right. So it melts in a beer and bomb.
He puts his food on his gun. He's like, yeah. So he's about to open gifts. You want to go in there and watch him open your brush or whatever.
Yeah, sure. I think we can do that. And then it's flags after. Sure.
Yeah. He's over in C's where I was like, that's a really nice truck. He starts heading back towards the party. How come it's a make?
I don't think the beer and bomb has a driver's license. Should burn it. What? What?
Nothing. Nothing at all. I had a party. How's some decorum?
What? When do I ever have decorum? We need to work on that. Let's be honest.
Why? Because I mean, it's just sometimes when you get around people, you just act like very odd. And it's kind of, I don't want to be rude here, unbecoming. You know, I act odd.
You don't have a lot of friends do you? Let's just go inside. Okay. All right.
Fine. All right. You guys go and you get anger issues. All right.
You guys go inside. And it looks like public income start opening gifts. There's a big old pile of gifts and everybody's kind of has like a little tiny styrofoam plate with some veggies and like a little dollop of veggie dip. It's kind of like almost sliding off the plate because the veggies are a little too heavy for the styrofoam plate.
And everybody's kind of standing around in a circle with that. And he's open and gifts and he's like, oh, thank you for this. And everyone's like, yay. So that event kind of happens the way you would expect at a party for an adult man in his Well, it's like a kid's birthday.
I first did realize that we were just making him have a kid's birthday. All right. So yeah, he opens all the gifts and he appears to like all of them. Thanks.
Does he hold up the embroidered towel? We got him shaving towel says I'm 49 plus and it has a picture of a hand shooting a bird. That's when you embroidered on it. What?
It turns 50 so it says I'm 49 plus plus a little finger. Yeah, I got it. Got it. Hey, it's online.
You thought it was a good idea. You could give gifts for 50 year olds. You didn't get them a balloon that just said over the hill. You didn't get them on a literal hill and throw them over it.
All right. So, yeah, he opens all his gifts and he's like, oh, thank you very much. And he's like, thanks, Robo. I can tell a lot of hard work when you do this.
And then all the gifts are open. And then everyone starts doing like the after party stuff and just kind of hanging out. People like some people start filtering out a little bit. What do you do?
I don't I'm good. I don't do anything. You're still hanging out at the party or everyone like real about six wags or oh, yeah, sorry. Yeah, we can go six wags.
All right. Well, I don't think I can be in any vehicles that you have. Probably not through it being made of magma. So if someone doesn't mind driving with me in the lava car.
Wait, will we burn in the lava car? No, no, it's just I just called the lava car because of I made of magma. It's actually it's like it's a vehicle specifically designed to house me and made of magma. You can roll down the windows.
This is probably gonna get real toasty in it. But I mean, you don't have to ride with me. I can follow honestly, as long as we're like, you know, so car pulling together. Are we able to get on the rides at six wags?
You know, I just kind of like watching my friends ride, you know, kind of like, vicariously live through my friends. It's better than just not going at all. And you know, the water part of it. I like the wave pool.
I can do the water stuff. It heats the water a little bit. But like when the water hits me, I kind of like like kind of slide into like some dark rock for a little while and like that's all right. I can do lazy river.
I can wait through the windy river. Yeah, let's see that. That's just like a lot of fun. All right, cool.
If you want to go and really go, I don't mind watching. It's fine. Sure. I'll write in the magma car or the lava car with you too.
All right, sounds good. Cool. Dad, you coming to six flags with us? Sure.
Why not? Sounds like a good time, right? Yeah. All right.
Sounds good. Robo, are you coming with us? Of course, I'm going to six flags in the middle of the night. It's right fast.
They're open until midnight. Yeah, right. Fast is open until until Thanksgiving. Okay, so everyone's playing and going six flags.
Yeah. Yeah. The beer and fun. He sees sees Greg's name actually was like, is your friend called six flags, too?
Nope. He's not. He's got important city council business to do. Doesn't he write Greg?
Well, not right now. If there's party, but I'm going to stick around here. I'm going to go talk to DJ, request some new music. I may be having play some Sammy Hager.
Sammy Hager. He's like my favorite. I love that guy. No, Sammy.
I don't know what Sammy Hager. He's, you know, I can't drive 55. There's a funny thing about that song. He makes it Sammy.
He's a great guy. And he makes it sound like he's all badass because he can't drive 55. But you want to know the real reason? He is his speed is speedometers off.
He changed it. He changed the tires on his car. Right. So and he didn't have the transmission recalibrated.
I so every time he tries to drive 55, it's he's not going 55. This is canonical in the song or just guessing. No, I know Sam. Me and him are bucks.
You know, okay. All right. So we're taking like he's bad as because he's driving like way fast in his sports car. It's not that he's dumb.
And he put the wrong sides on it. Can I wait? Hold on? Can I ask a question?
Sure. I always thought it was like he was talking about how cautious of a driver he was because 55 was too fast for him. It don't matter because he couldn't. Why?
Because he was just saying, I thought the song was about like, I can't drive 55. It's too fast. You know, you're saying he pulls it over the right lane and backs her down. Yeah.
I'm going 45 in the 55 because precious car going bored. I got a song. Maybe a great idea, especially in a car. Well, it's faulty with us.
But I'm not working better, get over it or right and slow it on. Right. You could kill somebody. I didn't think it was how bad I am because I got a drive fast.
I thought it was how cautious of a driver. You were on the right track. He just had to fax off a little bit. Fair enough.
I guess I don't know Sammy Hagar personally. Oh, he's a great guy. Sam. I like you.
We didn't hang out. All right. So you stay here and listen to Sammy Hagar. We're going to go to the the the the six legs.
They're open. It's like a breakfast. Oh, good call. All right.
Hey, you guys have fun. Yeah. I think they have a house. Don't get too scared.
Oh, yeah. I was hit your pants. That's pretty. Whoa, whoa.
It gets pretty hectic over there. I heard about it. I don't go because I don't know. I don't like getting scared.
You know, being a being made of magma. I haven't had a real shit in years. I mean, don't don't worry about me. If anything is going to be like a solar flare, that'll be over.
I'm sure glad I'm going now. All right. Well, I'm not one for bathroom humor myself. So I'm going to.
Wasn't funny. I'm going to tell you that right now. Give my ticket to the valet's. You pull the mag macar around lava car around it.
So I can also see out front. Okay. Yeah, that's fine. All right.
He walks away. I mean, I'm kind of just when you're not going, Greg. Personally, still kind of shut up. Let me just go.
This is this is literally what I was just talking about. Did I find we can go? I guess just just. Hmm.
All right. Everybody enroll a notice. That's one. Okay.
You notice as you're trying to shoot Silicon artists and Roblox out of the door away from Greg coming into the door kind of late on arrival shaking hands with puzzle king is iron justice. Oh, hell. He's like, oh, hey, puzzle king. Sorry.
I'm a little bit late. Here's your gift. I was, I'll do some stuff. I had to fly in and they start having a conversation.
You're gonna have to walk by iron justice ticket out of the building. Sir, backdoor. Yes, there is. Can we go out the back door?
You have to go back past Greg to get the back door. Son of a bitch. Hey, I've got you guys were leaving. I was going to go.
Oh, okay. So I don't think it was just this. I just look at the front door. Roman, which door are you going out the front door?
All right. That I was to a reaction. Are you going? And then Alex, I'm going to go out the back door.