Villain Underground #53

Bonjourno. I am the Game Master, and I want to open up this episode by letting you know that this here episode of the Villain Underground, which I personally think is a really good one, is brought to you by the other podcast here on S-House Studio, Dire Weasels. Now, if you like this real play nonsense that we do, check out the real play nonsense that they do, because they're playing that good old game Dungeons & Dragons. Have you heard of it?

Have you been there? Have you seen it? They're on the fifth edition? What?

That's a lot of editions. They like to drink, talk about stuff that's not happening in the game, and forget the care sheets, the care sheets. I don't even know what those is. And I game master four shows.

Anyway, listen to them as they try to couple together some sort of story. Um, yeah, they're sorry. Yeah, and you know what? I'm not.

Check them out. Hello and welcome to another episode of the Villain Underground. I am the Game Mustard Happy Puke, and I am here today with four silly villains. We have the Silicon artist himself played by Philip.

You hear the soft little pair of a kitten next to me? We have the the Roboape played by Willip. Hey, guys, that's me. We have the the devil from another mother, Miss Deeds, played by Codeip.

If we were Silicon and the artist, well, instrument, would everyone play? Bongos. Okay. We have Deadeye played by Allip.

I have a kitten on my lap. It's the kitten cast. Everyone got cats. Everyone got cats.

So we have a real play-based podcast based around some villains in the SHU universe, canonical with everything else here on this feed. Would anyone like to give us a rundown on what happened on the last episode of the Villain Underground for those who may have missed it? I will. I volunteer.

Oh, hello. You volunteer as tribute. Like Cat and St go to hit me with that name pronunciation. Zahaka.

Zahaka. Turns out to be an Iranian god of, we assume to be a bad deal. So the god Zahaka has requested that four people be brought before them to in order for that god to come back into existence and bring down a bunch of death and destruction. So the villains went to Ruby River and got the first person of that of those four, Weathervane.

It was a little bit of a tussle in the bedroom of Weathervane, who is a young child living by herself, her 17 year old person living by herself. And she has now been kidnapped and put into one of the Alpha Tras, weatherproof holding cells, I guess, shipping containers because she had the power of weather control, manipulation. Yeah, and that's where we're at. And the cliffhanger for last episode.

So I got a message on her phone. It was a goddamn Facebook invite for a family reunion, which is probably a trap, but that was the cliffhanger. We all decided to go kill the Dye sisters. All right, so there you go.

You are you are there on top of a skyscraper with a Facebook invite in hand for tonight. Oh, it's for tonight. Where is it? It's just it's a coordinates.

You can look up where it is. Yeah. It's off the shore. It looks like in the ocean on a boat.

Motherfucker. Don't you ever forget. All right. It looks like we're going to a boat guys and feeds.

So just a folks it's fun. So your family is this going to be like a punchy reunion, a shooty reunion, more than likely a shooty reunion. And it's probably a giant trap. Are we actually invited?

You are formally invited by me. I was different in casserole, but I guess that's not okay. Come on, Celica, this would be fun. Oh, I'm not saying it wouldn't be fun.

I just want to know what we're getting into. Okay, look, I'm always down to clown. So I have one sister who's a goody two shoes and my shoe got you, but she's probably going to miss you on purpose. And then there's my psycho other sister.

Psycho is pretty much the best descriptor for her. So she will shoot at you and also hit you. So dodge. And then let me take care of her.

So wait, you want us to be like bullet sponges and like alternate targets for that? Not necessarily, but a little bit. Yeah. Oh, just distractions more than bullet sponges.

Okay. You can do that. Yes, I think we might have to formulate some sort of contract first. I feel like I might have used kenboros and guns.

After that, after we say the deal or something, I don't know what is something mundane that we can. I mean, you couldn't even knock that girl out when it's like that you could. No, that's different. I have to there has to be a mutual agreement.

It's fine. I'll make you a casserole after we're done with your family reunion. How about that deal? Okay, deal.

Okay, cool. It's that easy, guys. I don't understand deal. That's not no.

I'm just slap Stephen. That seemed unnecessary. He liked it. Just give me a gun.

Okay, you don't got to get all grabby. So where are we going? Let's get a boat. Oh, can I bring my yacht?

You have a yacht. Alex, I have a yacht. You have the old one that knocks you before. Yeah, you got a yacht.

Yeah, let's beach that shit again. What kind of condition is the yacht in? Not great. Not great.

It's been a year. Come on. It can be fixed up. I never said that you fixed up.

Yes, that's what we wanted to do over a year break. We never mentioned the goddamn yacht. Yeah, I'm sorry to mention it. We go out and buy a fucking boat.

It's way funnier if it's just a fucking plus to the yacht. Yes. Years old. Just fucking.

And beach a couple times. There's smoke coming up it. Fine. We'll drive the whole pathetic thing.

Okay. So you guys are gonna get on your your sad yacht and you're gonna start sailing out into the water. You're on the yacht for a little while until the next night because the event was for that night and it was already early morning when you got back with Bethany or Weathervane. So it's a number of hours right out on your yacht to the location.

But it started the sun starting to go down as you are approaching and it does not look like a boat. It looks like an abandoned oil rig. Oh, this seems fun actually. That's what I was saying.

It might get a little ouchy but it'll be fun. Look, dudes, we have different definitions of fun. Okay. No, no, I understand.

What is that? Like, why is it just sitting in the middle of the ocean? That's where the party is. Can I have one?

I'm gonna text Foxy. Oh, no, oil rig. We're not oil rig. We'll figure the text back.

That's we are in technology and research and development. We are not in crude oil business. It would take a lot to diversify the crude oil. But I can look into it.

All right. I'm gonna talk to her again. Once we get rid of my sisters, you can have this one. Nobody's using it.

Okay. Now this is fun. Conquering. Conquering is fun.

All right. As you get close, you hear wearing very loud from the the PA of the oil rig is Mambo number five. Like I said, psycho. She sounds extremely fun.

Oh, Lord. Sounds like there's a party. Just Mambo number five echoing out over the ocean. Are you sure?

Are you sure I should have brought a casserole? I mean, you could have, but too late now. Wait, I'll make you a deal, Miss Deeds. I can't.

There's multiple. No, what? What? What honey?

I want you to have a casserole. That's also not how it works. Sweetheart, I'm sorry. I'm not that powerful.

Robonobo puts on some glasses and goes deal with it. You know that they don't actually understand him. I don't either. Why?

Oh, look, we're almost there. You already the party, I guess? You get closer. And there is like the boat dock on the bottom of the oil rig.

Anyone that knows about oil rigs, please don't fact check me because I know very little about them. So whatever. This is where Gary busts in and says, well, you know, Alex. Yeah, Greg starts talking about oil rigs.

Let's go get those three through the pipes. Okay. So you guys pull up to the lower boat back of the oil rig and there's a bunch of arrows kind of painted on things, leading, leading things in certain directions. So like I said, this is likely to be a giant trap.

So be on the lookout. I remember your sister. I ate her once, right? Different sister.

Well, yeah. What do you do? Have the two that I know of? Okay.

Look, I don't really eat the crazy one or the normal one. You make the normal one. Okay. The crazy ones that are trying to kill me for a while.

Okay. So which one do we kill? The crazy one. Got it.

And the nice one? What do we do with her? Maybe I'll find some nice place to torture her for a little while. Yeah, that's good.

Torturing is kind of mean. We shouldn't maybe do that. I can't think it's different, but we don't want to torture them once we get them. We'll kidnap her and then I will take her away and you won't have to worry about it anymore.

Actually, now that we're having this conversation, I'm a little worried that you are going to torture them. Only a little bit. Yes, because she just said it. Yeah, I'm not going to just sit here and let that happen.

Yeah, I'm not sure I feel about any of you keeping secrets like this. I mean, you at least hold us. All I'm going to do to her is lock her in a hole where she can't see anything or hear anything or smell anything until she goes absolutely start grieving crazy. That's all.

Yeah, that's kind of torture. No, they've also have just sensory desperation rooms. I've read a little bit about those. You call it.

I call it a week in the Bahamas. Luegas, mama number five, restarts for the seventh time since you've gotten here. Can we please destroy this PA system? It's driving me crazy.

The other one with the guns. I can want me to go cover it with my body. You know what? You're right.

I am the one with the guns. Monkey. Monkey. You can you can you can do something about the the audio, right?

Oh, yeah, I can hack into the audio. Change it to something nice. Okay, I want to do burglary to hack into the audio PA system. Okay, roll that beautiful mean punch.

I got a negative one. As you're trying to hack into it, it hacks into you. And then the only things you can say are lyrics from mama number five. Okay, I got this.

Perfect. Are you guys not going to help me with my sisters now? Or is that what's happening? Because I can just go by myself.

Everybody in the car, come on this ride. What? It's not the one I'm not going to I am going to help. I just want to kill them if we're going to kill them.

I don't want to torture anybody. It just seems inhumane. That's against the Geneva Convention. You say inhumane, I say my childhood.

So how about we just go do it? We'll figure out what happens afterwards. I mean, she wants to go off on our own. Let's go to the party.

It's fine. It's all good. Let me dump it. Robo, what?

Does the monkey? I didn't realize the monkey defecated. He doesn't? I mean, he does, but it's C4.

Yeah. Okay. We could use some C4 though, but you want to keep this rig. So maybe not.

Should we follow these arrows? We should follow these arrows, but it's probably a trap. I'm agreed. Just saying.

Sorry. Is that what you guys are doing? Yes. You follow the arrows until they lead to a door of a very large room outside of the door is a handwritten on the wall.

It says always wear protection and there are some gas masks hanging on a nail. Should probably wear those. They're also trapped. Huh?

Aspirate. Wear the gas mask. All right. Robo's going to put a gas mask on as he's saying.

Shake your head to the sound. What sound of this horror song? He was going to stop it. I thought he was going to stop the music.

The trumpet. I'm so the trumpet. I'm still going to go on with the monkey. There is something wrong with the monkey.

Yes. For once you're right, but we'll deal with that later. Who's going into the room? I will kick open the door.

I don't know gas mask. Yes. I put on a gas mask and then kick open the door. You see there is a red carpet leading into a very dark room.

The room is very, very large, so you have to kind of go in to start seeing anything because you've been outside a little bit where there are lights. There are no lights in the room. Okay. I'll walk in.

Is everybody walking in? I would. Everybody roll me a notice. Three.

Negative. Two. Six. One.

Did I end? You're walking along the red carpet. You notice that the floor, basically everywhere else is covered in a liquid that you do not immediately recognize. So maybe stay on the carpet.

It does seem like a good idea. Yeah. Can I actually like to bend down and I'd like to taste a little bit of the liquid. Okay.

Are you, so you put your tongue in the liquid. You take four damage and the part of your tongue that touches it dissolves into the liquid. And you pretty much gathered it as a universal solvent and it has solvent in all of the parts of your tongue that touched it and it melted off of your body. Okay.

It's dangerous. What's wrong with your mouth? I can just form a new tongue. It melts in part of my tongue.

Oh, yeah. Definitely don't walk on that. Yeah. Let's stick on the carpet for now.

Seems. The red carpet eventually comes to a large rug that's kind of like a big, rectangular rug that is not covered in the liquid. Is there anything on the rug? Nope.

This is a trap. If I've ever seen one, I will walk into it. All right. Who else is walking into it?

It's a very obviously trap. That's thing to do about traps is spring them. I walk onto it. Yep.

Ruben, okay. Everyone walks out of the trap. So you guys walk into the rug and as you walk into the rug, like big overheads like jush, jush, jush, and turn on way on the other side of the room. You see a woman in a chair and next to her is another woman and she kind of waves frantically and says, hello.

Yes, we see you. So I guess do it in. Why don't you come over here and ask? Here's the thing.

I want to make you guys a deal. Basically, I just need that. I, the rest of you can go. Um, I, uh, I have a really little dead eye.

Here's the thing. I can actually make that a deal, but I would actually have to leave. I mean, I'm not going to stop you if you want to leave. No, I told you that I would help you with this.

No, we're not going to leave. I mean, monkey, seven, are you? We're going to stick with our companion here, right? I don't see any reason why we should leave.

We're going to kill both of them. I must stay deep because talk is cheap. He's okay. Okay.

Well, here's the thing. Either that I comes with me or we all die. Say again? See, I've filled this room with enough hydrogen that any firing of a fire pan of a firearm will basically engulf this entire area in a flame and we all die.

And I've got water balloons on the ceiling of the same universe as solvent. That's all over the floor. So Silicon Arge is just going to melt and misdeeds under that carpet is a devil's trap. I feel like a Winchester.

So you're stuck here until that breaks or you die and Robonobo, there's an EMP on the top of this, uh, this here oil rig also attached to a bomb in this dead man switch that's in my hand. So did I either get my submarine and go with me or everyone explodes? Huh. And where exactly would we be going?

We're gonna go see dad. Oh boy. Look, I'm just trying to get the family back together. You're crazy.

Holidays. What holiday? They're all gone. They're passed.

But well, you know, it's never too late. It's been too late for years. Look, here's the thing. This needs all race the the devil trap and Silicon Arge should walk out of here without getting splashing chemicals.

All you have to do is just give me that. I mean, go see Papa. I hate everything. Well, that I it's been real nice knowing you.

I think it seems like a pretty good idea to me. So I'm gonna go and shake her hand, put my hand out to shake it. You're gonna reach all the way across the room. Yeah, wait, are we?

I thought we were all on the carpet. Oh, you guys are in the carpet. She's like across the room. Oh, you're just a dead eye.

Yeah. Yeah. Okay. Oh, yeah.

You can check. Can I change you's right there? All right. I'll shake your hand.

I'm gonna just head back to the pool. I'll see. I'll see everybody later. I think yeah, because that stuff is real nasty and she seems absolutely insane.

So I'm gonna see you all later. Have fun killing your sister. Yeah, can't blame you for that one. Have fun.

Bye. I mean, I told you that I would take care. I mean, I would help you with this. Is there something that you can handle on yourself?

Handle? Depends on your definition of handle. If you mean go on a massive killing spree, sure, I can handle it. I don't know who exactly I'll be killing everyone, probably monkey.

There's a little store around the corner. The voice said they want some chin and juice, but I really don't want any just shrugs and starts walking off in the direction that Silicon artist went. What? Rob, you don't even drink.

Well, like, I guess good luck with this. Can you get out of the double strap without it being no, not really. Lady out. I'll leave this room.

If I leave this room in Lee, and did I goes with you? Does that seem like a deal to you? Would that? Yeah, did I just come over here and skin the elevator?

Let's go down to myself and we'll go home. Hey, Deeds. I still want that casserole. I promise you a casserole.

I'll get you that casserole better. So then I just drop your guns and come over to the elevator. Drop my guns. You might be insane, but you're not stupid.

Oh, of course. If you come over here with guns, the thing is that I want to get shot. So you're gonna put on the cord. You're fine.

There's no one on the submarine. Once we get in my submarine, you're gonna shoot me. Why would I shoot you in a submarine? I'd rather stab you in the submarine or strangle you to death or beat you over the head or drown us all.

Just put your gun stuff. No, but I'll start walking that way. All right, you're still stuck in the Devil's Trap. Excuse me.

You need to do something about this. Oh, right. Can I like flip up the rug and I see the Devil's Trap? Yeah, it's etched into the floor pretty heavily.

It's like carved into the metal floor. Well, good luck with that. Okay, I guess I'll stand here alone in this room. How were you planning on letting her out?

I don't know. Let's get in the elevator. Yeah, you thought this through real well. Well enough.

Hell, I'll get in the elevator. She's like, I like your monkey friend. He's good. He's yeah.

He knows all the lyrics to my favorite song. Oh, hell, is that what he's been saying? So, it's a little bit because a moment of five repeats for the 12th time since you've been on the phone. A unconscious lip in the chair, recoil, and you guys are going down the elevator.

She still has the dead man's tr- or dead man switch in her hand and you guys lower into a submarine. Silk artist and Robonobo, you guys have left. What are you doing? I'm literally waiting outside until Miss Deeds comes out.

Okay, Robonobo. Yeah, I'm doing the same. All right, Miss Deeds, did she accept my deal that I would leave this room? Uh, did I even go with her?

She just said that's what she wanted. Yeah. Did she say yes or did she say acknowledge it anyway? She acknowledged it, yeah.

Okay. Would that be considered a deal? She doesn't have any abilities to take. I mean, it doesn't really matter.

Did we make a deal? I suppose. Okay. What is it like?

What is she's insane, right? She's crazy. She batshit crazy. Sure.

Yeah. Okay. Okay, cool. All right.

I just want to make sure I'm just going to be standing there then. Okay. All right. So you guys, you guys getting a small sub and she's like, I have a seat.

How bad I don't. All right. You can stand if you want and then she starts accelerating the sub. Roll athletics to not fall over from the accelerating sub.

Four. All right. So you are able to kind of stand. She's, she's having pretty deep into the water and she's like, so if you come down here, you're probably just going to die under the water because I know you've never learned to drive anything.

Yeah, but that doesn't mean whip hasn't. Yeah, she's unconscious though. Eh, not for long. I'm going to shoot her.

You're going to shoot with the whip? No, I'm going to shoot recoil. All right. Roll shoot.

That's a plus four. All right. She'd be in with you. You shoulder her.

That is for sniping at me in my own damn home. Is that basically just like this is what you get shot is what you're doing? Yes. She's like, okay.

And then she just drops the dead man switch back up at the back up at the the oil rig at the top of the oil rig is a ball. It lights up and it starts giving a 10 second countdown. 10, nine, eight as it's falling down towards towards the building that misdeeds is in. Seven.

Is there any way I can like roll a lure to figure out how to disarm the trap? Roll or yeah. That's a six. You need someone to like break the circle outside of the like on the outside of the trap.

It can't be used. Somebody else has to break it. I'm going to yell out. Steven, you have to burn this circle somehow.

Five. I mean, if I break the circle, I run in and I will lay myself over it. You got to have like physically break the line. So like, okay, physically.

It's etched into the pitch into the metal. You turn yourself into something metallic and break it. I'm not my metallic. I can't do that.

I'm still human for. I don't shit. Something to figure out like how to do it. Sure.

Roll. Roll insight or what? The original insight. Roll.

Notice. Notice. Okay. Okay.

Plus three. All right. You notice that one of the three people still on the rig is a giant monkey made of metal. Well, give me a finger.

Okay. The robo goes. Clap your hands once. Clap your hands twice.

If it looks like this, then you're doing it right. And then he's going to launch himself towards the circle. Roll attack on the circle. I got a two.

You attack the circle and break it. Miss deeds are able to get out to. Okay. So running towards the exit, I guess.

Oh, I would rubber band both of them back outside the exits. All right. One. So you guys are just going to try to get back to the boat or you just jumping off the rig.

Probably jump over. So zero. Everybody make an athletics check. Zero.

I have four. Three. All of you jump off the edge and you take two explosion damage modified by your athletics. So, I think Silicon actually the only one that could sit with some explosion then.

Yeah. So, okay. So, you take two. Cool.

And you guys jump into the ocean as the large sparkly ball drops and the whole oil rig explodes in a huge ball of flame. And then you fall into the water. On the submarine, you hear above you just an enormous explosion. So you did blow it up.

Yeah. You just shot me, bitch. You shot me first. I don't show you.

I shot your phone. Same difference. Exactly. Yeah.

Close enough. And never worth that. Could have been a. Anyway, huh.

So she's just she's just driving the submarine at the bottom of the ocean back towards back under the water. She's driving away. We're going to go. Are you still going to try to shoot her again?

Not right now. You guys, you three are under the water, driving under the ocean. We're going to flip back to the other villains. You guys are all waiting water.

The yacht got kind of hit by the explosion. So there's like a half yacht kind of floating there. You know what the fucking time it is. Time to go.

Boys. I come onto the half of the yacht and then I springboard myself into the air, forming me taking the form of a boat and landing in the water. All right. You are not my faces.

My face is the mass. Well, hey, guys, fancy arrived. She look on artist. I really like the code of your job.

Oh, that's a very good boat joke, Robonova. I hop in. If this happens, the entire boat ride, I'm going to kick both your apps. Oh, Miss Deeds.

That was also a very good boat joke. We should probably go after her, right? I agree, but this is kind of about all I have. I can't exactly turn into a submarine.

Monkey, can you? I could turn into a very small submarine. Will it fit all of us in there? Stephen, you can make yourself small, right?

I can. Yes. Are we agree that we're going to go after a dead eye like this? Wait, after we're not going to kill her, right?

We're just going to help her. We're going to go help her. Kill her. No, no, no, no, no one's killing anybody.

All right, Robon, can you turn into a submarine? Yeah, sure. So I'm going to turn into a submarine, and it's going to look like a cartoon submarine, like basically like two boats one flipped over and put together. It's about how big it is.

Okay. It's like the periscope with Robos faces the periscope. Okay. So your two boats flipped on top of each other big?

Yes. So incredibly small. Yeah, like Robos. Like those John boats or whatever.

Right. So very carto phobic. That sounds fucking miserable. Thinking about it.

Starting to be hard to breathe. Good thing, deeds and silicon artists are used to sleeping close together, right? Yeah. I'm basically like a jumpsuit.

You guys are not fucking side Robo. I swear to God. Do you have any windows, Robo on the submarine? Or are they just kind of in a very, very coffin like small dark area?

What's more terrifying? Like the ocean or coffins? I think this is like a car situation where your eyes are like your eyes are making up like the windows. Then he made his face the periscope.

Oh, yeah. Facebook. So there's like the little thing that you pull down to look into the periscope like that looks like his eyes and that's the only place light is coming from. Yes.

It's just, you know, it's out there, but you can't reach it. Because you have to sit in the sub and the coffins sub. And the rest of it's just dark as fuck unless you're looking through the periscope. Yes.

I like it. I don't like it. This is perfect. Why don't we use this more often as our mode of travel?

All because we don't have to go to three of them. Why is you as a helicopter larger than you as a boat? Because it doesn't take as it has to do with physics. I have to like be contained.

That's why I like a spaceship can't be a submarine because it's not vacuum sealed tight. No, you're right. I have to be able to withstand the pressure. Right.

And the helicopter can just have open doors and shit. Yeah. Yeah. Because there's more.

There's more PSI under the water than there is up in the air. Yeah, you get a bigger hole. Gotcha. That's horrifying.

All right. So you're going to dive into the ocean like that. Yes. What terrible noise.

Can I make like a creaking popping noise while for the radio? Yeah. You can make it a terrible. The shit out of us.

Yeah. Just like this like echoing creaking sound. Oh, you really mean like you're actually getting a winner like for real. I don't like it.

Okay. So you guys turn into that. Silicon artists and Miss Deeds. Are you guys are pretty cool with that then?

Oh, I'm very cool with it. Not cool with it, but it's the other way. All right. So you guys are summating.

How what is your approach method? Oh, Tack Vectus. Just kind of. That's a robot.

We can't see shit. Yeah. Roboways. Are you just like full speed following?

Are you given some room? Are you firing torpedoes? Like what is your? Right now I'm following not like full speed or anything that's like super obvious.

But oh, oh, you guys want to approach this? It echoes like incredibly loud inside of all of. I'm not going to do it. I'm not going to do it.

Silent. Can you try and silently do it? Make sure that we're not noticed. Okay.

So I'm going to follow along silently so that we're not noticed. All right. Roll water stealth. Oh shit.

It's like normal stuff but underwater. It's like normal stuff. Why would you call it water? Something under what I know I can hear you scream.

Underwater. Robos. So Marine, especially. I roll a seven.

All right. So you're you're stealthing along. We're going to come back to the other submarine. Things are still pretty tense.

Recoil. Recoil says, you know, he said that he wanted you back, but I'm just just fine sending you back in pieces if you really keep giving me shit. When am I not giving you shit though? Just trying to do my job.

I'm the only one that stuck around. I'm the only one that learned what we had to learn. Yeah. Look, you're absolutely bash it psycho.

Still get shit done. At least I have direction. At least I have purpose. Well, you think I don't?

No. No, you absolutely don't. I've been watching you for years. I've been watching you for a long time.