Villain Underground #79

Welcome to another episode of the villain underground. My name is Alex. I'm happy puke and I am here today with three hot golden triangle tips First we have the triforce of power will playing robo no bo princess. Please that's the meme, right?

Yeah next we have the triforce of courage Ali playing updraft guys What what are you watching? I've been watching a lot of game grumps playing Zelda, so oh yeah, they've been doing the live streams, right? Yes Good I like that. Tell me what do you think of it?

I'm enjoying well, they're done playing skyward sword, which was a nightmare was a nightmare But it was enjoyable to listen to just for the angst yeah There's a lot of fucking angst and we also We also have the triforce of I think wisdom is the only one I haven't done yet stuff Hey Stop it Master what was that fucking what was that fucking thing's name the one that the knobby yeah Right mmm. Hey yeah, we are a real play-based podcast based around some bad boys in the SHU universe I'm concol with everything else on this feed. I bet you like that don't you? So I'd like to let us know what happened on the last action-packed episode of the filming underground Yeah, you know what guys you're a trouble click right on a curve yeah, I haven't listened to episode three See will as a listen to episode three so he doesn't know I've edited out of every episode It's like Garfield minus Garfield.

Yeah, it's very strange. It's very strange to go by yourself out or the scenes It's just if you react it's a 20 to 30 minutes of Alice talking to Some tackling about gorillas. I always art but yeah, it's a very avant garde really play it's a very hard-vog real play here It's a pomo podcasting or pomo po Okay, so last time on villains the gang all went their separate ways I believe Alex called it a Ringo episode. Yeah.

Yeah, so Silicon artist is still fucking around the hospital pretending to be a doctor and let's be real Phil's not here this week And we don't give a shit about him So we're not gonna talk about him that much because he's defected to heroes Updraft was stalking a feminist teenager trying to get her to take one of the rings and like kind of worried about me as But like mostly just like a he's a guy who's around And robo no bo Was gonna be friends with a wizard and then fucked up real bad and lost the chance to be friends with a wizard And I honestly don't know what he would just fucking around in Congo, Virginia He went to his old his old mist and he oh yeah, there were many many many jokes about Miss as gorilla But I think I think in that frantic hilarity there was mist that Robinova went to collect his grandmother's ring correct. Yes. Oh and Robinova found out he was a twin. Yeah Without any other evidence or anything to the contrary This seems like a fever dream because I really don't even remember this and I'm like what Like does say that There's a whole conversation where you call it's on the phone and ask if you were the evil Many many people Okay, so yeah, we're gonna we're gonna pick up in a real strange spot.

We're gonna pick up deep deep under the ocean With a young woman would you like to explain well? I guess not young woman we're gonna start with a woman who's hanging out in Atlantis currently So would you like to tell us what your what your character is about? We're not all about what like what they look like what they're doing today. All right, so Constance Inglewood Doesn't know why the fuck she is in Atlantis But you know somebody who's in charge told her to be there and like a good lady She is there and she is probably sitting on a bench somewhere kind of half reading a book And she brought a crumblet loaf of bread to feed to the ducks, but I don't know if there are ducks underwater There's um, there's like a merebunden ducks.

There's like ducks are like half fish half duck Okay, my ducks. So she is she's sitting in a nice public park chucking bread comps to my ducks Okay, all right the mere ducks are enjoying that and do you own a timepiece? Yeah, I think she probably has a watch and it's just like a plain old crank Like a wind up watch like I'm not even a wind up watch just like a watch that isn't digital right? It's like she's all but she ain't that fucking old right gotcha you you hear a voice coming from your timepiece This has happened to you this has happened to you before this is pretty familiar All right, so she's gonna raise it up to her ear all right the voice from your timepiece is like so you've made it You're in Atlantis.

Yes, sir. And you know the one you're looking for Yeah, she looks like some young twit. She's not young don't let her appearance fool you good. She's many millennia old Just how I like them do what you can to get close earn her trust.

Oh, yes. Oh, yes, you know constantly she does a thing I've got many years. I can make it work. I'll check in with you later I won't let you down and then the voice the voice subsides and you just continue hanging out and then fienduck's waiting I mean, I like vaguely I'm keeping an eye out for sure But I don't know if I was given information on when this person's gonna arrive or where not specifically You basically were told that they were heading that direction into to be there before they got there So I'm keeping an eye out and a basic physical description and the fact that they're a barrel Oh, yeah, all right, so we're gonna cut back to Near what's your city?

Yeah, that's the one yeah, that's the one nearly a parbar updraft you have arrived the the the water ring is telling you to go deep into the ocean Okay, I mean Hate going underwater hate it. I hate this and I'm gonna surround myself with a whole like a big bubble of air Mm-hmm, and I'm gonna dive in okay. You're not gonna like the port and take the train and no Okay, that's human shit. All right.

Just go and go and straight past customs. I guess yep I mean it is another nation you're like I mean they had you're taking stuff across it. Not whatever doesn't matter So you're bypassing the customs process to the border hop into Atlantis is why they need to build up that sea wall To keep air The wall are a criminal like let's not miss words here Yeah, yeah, they need to build a levy they need to strengthen the sand the sand bar So all right, so you're diving into the water it's gonna take a little bit of time the train is pretty fast But you float into the air bubble is not as fast as all of that so might take a little bit that's fine We're gonna cut back to a robo no, but last we left robo you were you were still namists You found out there's a picture of you and some sort of sibling in your mother's arms. What do you do now?

I am going to examine the picture right the pictures of old old an old Polaroid from the day your mom was in the Local hospital in the Congo. Okay, so I'm gonna turn it over cuz you know how boomers like to write on the back of pictures and say When it happened and who's in the picture? Yeah, all right On the back it gives the date. It's a it's your known birthday, and it just says my babies Boomers Loki roasting boomers boomers and their physical media Polaroids that doesn't exist nowadays.

So yeah, that's what it says on the back of the Polaroid, okay I'm gonna make my way back to the wizard tower. All right, you head over to the wizard tower on the the door is still open It's a pretty welcoming place. Okay, I'm gonna go right in and see how it's heard all right You get up to the top where the wizard is the the the sloth in which you assaulted Really is is laid up and interaction or whatever and The wizard is like what are you doing back? I need some information on this picture How am I supposed to give you information on the picture?

Well you live here. You've been around since I've been gone Yes, since you've been gone, but I mean When was the picture taken I wasn't there and I was supposed to give you information. I need you to use your wizard powers My wizard powers to do what exactly I need you to enhance this picture like in the TV shows You want me to make it larger or More clear. I'm not sure.

I don't watch a lot of television. Dear boy. You don't know that show FCF. I I don't particularly know For fantasy, okay, it's like the normal show but with fantasy in front of it Fair fair enough so I don't watch much of the television I could stand for anything I have to do the photo your expertise on this one.

Mm-hmm. Okay, so I'm not getting that sure He does not seem to know the show you're talking about now. Okay, do I have any? Let me look up some of my local contacts my hometown Local friends, okay most of them a year ago you killed an eight Yeah, like the bonobots he would tie school with and he killed them and the Garopplicant was like the star quarterback in your high school.

Yeah, we pretend we were a gang. I was like our high school crew Yeah, yeah, yeah, you you kill all those dudes. So who you looking for specifically? How about my old?

Gorilla football coach Like the old man that would you taught you in gorilla football back in the day. Yeah, all right, so yeah Coach Eak lives is still around. He's retired. He's longer coaching, but he's around.

Mm-hmm. What type of a busy? He is I got all the guests a silverback That's the position you want to play in gorilla football is the silver back If you're big enough you could be a silverback. Yeah He was a silverback in his high school and he was like, you know, I wasn't able not enough to go 8 pro So I just decided I teach high school Hey this I'm gonna go visit coach Eak.

Okay, all right. You you go and you go to coach eak's house. He's he's retired, but You're at his house where you're at is missed. Sorry.

Yes. Okay, I knock on the mist He slowly opens the door to the miss these like yes Bo-chik Who are you it's me robo no mo? Oh? Yeah, it's been a long time Well, we'll bring you back here.

Well, I was hoping you would have some information on this picture I mean you probably knew my mom back back when you were were silverback for the The humans football team These like humans. Yeah What I mean I tried a day or a couple times you I said we don't could have been a day We think that boy could be dead. Yeah, that is pretty agree. That's pretty gross Some people come into the repair the wall in his mist That's kind of weird What do you want?

I look at this picture. It looks like it's a bull right. It's a camera that they don't use anymore Yeah, I know what a pulley right is I know I'm saying maybe you don't know old-school cameras. What kind of information are you looking for?

I want some information about who's in the picture. He turns it over looks like your mom and you what? What do you want from me? There's three people in the picture it says did I have a brother that went to another school?

Oh, you mean you're no your sister no No, I mean they It's complicated kid you wanna come in and drink some tea or wait no beers So banana daiquiri. Yeah, I got a banana daiquiri You want to come and have a banana come on? Sure. All right.

I'll explain the C. K. Oh, you're really weird. It's messing up my inflection I have an effect on people.

I'm sorry Do you go into his miss to have a banana daiquiri? Yes, yes, all right, so we're gonna cut back to Atlantis I'm talking a little while but you you went through the ocean and you get to the outer rim of Atlantis It's kind of guarded You can still kind of go in you have to kind of go into the dock area though because it's like that's where people go in Otherwise you're not gonna bubble in anywhere I'll go into the dock area. All right. It's a kind of a hustly busly place a lot of fish people a lot of people fish a lot of Humans, yeah, it's it's a kind of a metropol polytini city.

Um, is the ring leading me in any particular direction? Yeah, it's leading you into downtown For the fish. She's go downtown is my favorite place in any kind of city Roll give me give me one of them good old noses plus great as you're as you're moving towards the downtown area You notice that uh Atlanta is kind of a green city. It's it's a it's very well maintained.

There's not a whole lot of pollution It seems to be a very eco-friendly situation. Okay. I'm not hating this. Are there a lot of humans around?

Oh, there's a fair share but they seem to be in the minority because it's not a human city It's just you and come here to either visit or do business. Okay. I'm not hating this To move it's about the ratio you would see of like guy gin and Tokyo that kind of thing Okay That's I'm glad Alex was something that I'm really familiar with We're just trying to be relatable Yeah, so yeah, that's that's what you notice Okay, I'm actually going to like take a good look around as I'm following where the ring is leading me Okay, it's a pretty pretty city a lot of teals and cool blues and aqua marines as you go through the city and the ring leads you to What looks like a sanitation worker fish person? Gonna Well, what are they doing?

They're they're like maintaining like a waste disposal unit. They've got like they've got a jumpsuit on and name tags as blub Alright, I'm gonna just kind of approach them. I guess and be like hey Blub is your name? Blub?

I mean club cool. I was actually looking for you. So you have you actually have I'm from a lawyer person and You have a long lost relative And they died sorry, but they left you this ring in there will and I'm here to deliver it to you And I'm just gonna hand him the ring. Okay, he grabs the ring and he looks pretty confused He doesn't really say anything.

He's just kind of looking at you totally confused You should put it on make sure it fits that way. That's part of my directive is to make sure it fits before I leave He's he'd meekly puts it on and kind of looks around. He's like kind of shrugs Okay, cool. Is it okay?

I'm leaving by nice to meet you blub Slowly away as you start leaving Mrs. I forget your first name Irene is lent constant Mm-hmm. So constants you are sitting on a park bench and you see well give me a good old notice roll And plus three okay, you see walking a few blocks away away from a very confused fisherman The the person that was described to you. Okay, great I am going to dampen the sound around myself and just follow her stealthily for a couple blocks just to get kind of some bearings I'm gonna roll stealth and I got a plus three.

Okay, so you're you're appropriately Tailing up track. I'll try to be a notice to see if you know if you're being tailed or not That would be a plus two. All right. You do not notice that you are being tracked Time to like involves with all of the architecture.

I don't hate the city. So I'm actually looking at it Okay, all right. So a constants give me another notice roll, please. This is a lot of dye rolling happening here so much That's a plus two all right as you're as you're tailing updraft you notice like between you and updraft There's another person that is also tailing updraft.

What does this person look like? He looks like he's like almost seven foot tall you would guess like six eight. He's got a kind of long red hair He's wearing a really long jacket like you wouldn't know he was wearing pants unless they were dragging on the ground kind of Jacket like super long like a fighting game character jacket and it's kind of a bright red. Well, he seems awful So Constance is gonna kind of work her way through the crowd and sidle up so she's walking alongside this guy And then she's gonna pull a hard candy out of her purse and And try to pop it on the ground in front of them and then create a sound wave from the impact to trip him up Just a small one.

Okay, so you're not like trying to attack him. You're just trying to make a stop trip him up. All right Give me a roll. Okay, so Plus eight Jesus Christ, so like your goal the gate strong.

I mean he's a whipper snapper right? Yeah, okay So your goal isn't to attack him. You're just creating advantage like you're just trying to really just like a poof at a speed to trip him up Okay, you successfully trip him up. He does he looks Paterb for a second but like doesn't really notice it's you right cuz like that's what you kind of do You're like you you're being coy about it.

Nobody suspects the old lady right? So he drops something in front of him He trips him up a bit but he does like he looks around a little bit and then gets back on pace He's not further behind updraft but it does seem like he's making a pace to try to gain on her again Okay, I'm just gonna try to keep between him and updraft. Okay, so you're like trying to be ahead of him. Yeah, okay You're walking through the city.

What are you doing? Are you leaving the city immediately or not? There's I have a couple more rings on me. Don't I yes, you have approximately two there's five rings and you've gotten rid of three Okay, so I have to yeah, um are either of them pulling particularly hard I'm not in this area.

It seems like the rest would probably be surface. Okay. I kind of want to just explore because this is the first city I've been in that is modern but doesn't suck right that's true Yeah, all right, so eventually We're only a good old notice. Oh Wow, wow, wow, wow, wow that would be a negative two All right, so I am flabbergasted Okay, so like you're you're basically walking around the city like just taking a dent right yeah, okay So you go into an area that's a little less populated.

It seems more like it's not a very touristy area So like the streets clear out a little bit and as they do you feel like kind of a blast of heat behind you It doesn't seem like it's like malicious, but it seems like it's trying to draw your attention. I'll turn around All right, you should around you see like the street has like a number of people like not a whole bunch like six or seven behind you kind of Walking in directions, but directly behind you. There's an old woman behind her. There is a very tall man that you recognize from a good 70 220 years ago Remember his name yes, he is another elemental his name is back draft He's a fire elemental you guys have never really got along Bacheloret what the hell are you doing here here of all places?

I've been living here. Why I like it down here It's not like human cities. I mean that's that's fair, but also I feel like this is Pardon the pun, but not your element No, that's true, but it's not really yours either Yeah, that's true, but I was kind of on a mission so and then yeah, right? It's not terrible down here So I decided to look around yeah, I know you're on a mission I can feel that you have the rings well at least two uh-huh and you have the one that's my birthright Not according to Gaia.

It ain't look you hit where she been she's not doing the job. It's up to us Yeah, cuz all these dumbass humans keep poisoning her. She's sick. Of course.

She's not doing the job Okay, well, she's if she's sick. She's not in the right mind. It's up to us to do it look you have two rings with you I'm assuming the wind and I'm assuming the fire, right? Yes, all right.

Yeah, you think you can't feel there in your pocket. I can feel it from here Okay, your point you take the ring for the wind and I take the ring for the fire and we actually get shit done Do you think these chubs these fucking idiot mortal assholes that you're giving the rings to will ever set him free? It's up to us We can go find the others go get the ones back that you already gave out like an idiot go Given to some other elementals and know what they're doing and then we can we can take care of this once and for all us Now I'm not wait for her to get around to her sweet ass time. She's always been soft on these fucks Oh, she's gonna thank you so hard and I'm gonna laugh the entire time look.

I've always been too hot to handle Ew, that's our mother stop. You just said she was gonna spank me Not like you're disgusting. I hate you. I hate you too, but here's the thing.

Just give me the ring. I'll be out of your hair It's far. Oh, it's not yours. It's not mine either, but it's not yours.

I don't want to take it from you by force Well, that's your only option bring it. I've always been stronger than you he shoots fireball at you Yeah, he gets a for shoot fireball. I am going to attempt to bat it out of like up into the water because I'm assuming there's like water above Yeah, yeah something so I'm gonna attempt to bat it up into the water That would be a pause Five okay, you're able to deflect it goes flying up into like a water bubble into the big old steam What is your notice updraft to two and back drafts? Why would you do this to us?

He had all the naming conventions in the world What is your notice constants one okay? Up drafted is your turn okay after you after you threw the fireball and it went up into the sky a lot of the people in the Street started running constant hasn't had a time to react yet because she's a woman She's too busy paying for a street coffee with a check Love it I'm gonna look at back after I can be like really here really you want to do this right now right here You're giving me no choice. You have plenty of choice. Just walk the fuck.

Oh, you know what? I'm not even gonna argue with you anymore. I'm just gonna um gonna attempt to suck all the oxygen out of his area Is he's a fire elemental? I can't deal with that alright give me a roll You start trying to suck the oxygen out of the area But he seems like he's starting to dodge like trying to move out of the area like into places with more oxygen The constant is your turn alright constant is mad because you know this is my care miss the early bird special So she is going to reach into her big old purse grab another hard candy and Chuck it at back draft and create a sonic boom on impact.

Okay. That is a plus four All right, he does not see you coming because you you were completely not us and he did not expect that So you hit him for four is what you do pretty obvious to updraft who's kind of yeah Probably I mean like I am a generally generally a fairly innocuous person But like I literally turn from like getting my black pink or my black coffee with a check Shucking a candy which pounds the guy with a sonic boom. Okay, and it's audible obvious gotcha. Okay cool All right, so you do that a back draft is taken aback draft by the fact that you Are you a plastner with a sound wave and he looks updraft and he's like you're gonna have these pathetic beings fight your battles for you All right, then and he changes forms into a form of lava and he charges at you updraft with a punch And he gets a five to punch.

Hi. Ah, oh, I like you that I got an eight All right six a six I do math good all right, so yeah, you are able to dodge the punch now It is your turn updraft I'm gonna look at him and be like really you think I would involve a stupid listen and I'm gonna turn to constants I know her name this old lady. I'm gonna be like hey, I'm having a disagreement with my cousin. Could you just like step out?

Thanks, I'm gonna like drop kick his lava form across the street. Okay. Oh my god Okay, he doesn't try to dodge your drop kick you do two damage to him But you also take four because he's made a lava and you just kick a lava I don't like a shield of air But he's too hot goddamn call fire truck out please me Well, but I'm smoother than a fresh jars kibby, so I like my scipy chronology alright, so anyway, so here we are Constance it is your turn. Oh Fucking disrespectful full young lady or not.

My god told me to watch out for her Lord knows I am a subject to authority So I am gonna fire off another hard candy. Okay, that's what's this nuts? Alex what I saw this guy at whippersnapper. I think you now recognize him as an element also.

He's pretty he's always fun Yeah, he's no longer. He's no longer considered Three Constance gets a plus to shoot anybody who she thinks is a whippersnapper, so Yeah, she perceives to be younger than her. Yeah, how necessarily is what she perceives to be okay? All right, so what you did a plus three all right you hit him again with with a song with a song boom, right?

Yes, okay, all right, so it's his turn he's He's irritated and this will probably last a long time. Um, so he's like He looks around and he just frustrated he just kind of shoots fire all over the place He's like I'll fucking burn everything down then bitch and he shoots fire in a big old radius and everyone in the radius has to make a defense athletic defense of He rolled a three. Oh goody because I rolled a Well and defense but not on attack I rolled a zero. All right.

All right. So y'all took that damage up draft. It is your turn gonna look at this blob of lava shooting shooting fucking fire into the city that I don't actually hate like a back draft you are a Idiot and I just I don't understand how you still exist and I'm going to attempt to lift him up and just like grind him into the water All right, go for it with my powers not my hands. No, I got you That's a plus five.

All right. Let's see if he resists he doesn't you you hit him pretty good Constance your turn. He's being lifted up and pushed into a water bubble. The water bubble is structural So like there's like water spraying out now into the into the city area.

Oops Okay, Constance is going to Check another can to the ground and use the sonic boom to keep propelling him up into the water Okay, so like an extra extra push. Yeah, got it. And that is a plus six. Oh boy.

Yeah, okay So as you guys are like just pushing him into the water and like he's cooling down quite a bit the water that's spraying out Like stop suddenly like it just stops spraying out and then some of the water wraps around him and pulls him out into the ocean And then a lot of the other water sure spiraling around you too And you and on top of one of the buildings you see a man looks like he's wearing like part of a wet suit Just like the bottoms of a wetsuit and he's got scales on his shoulders He's holding a trident got big long hair and a seashell necklace And he seems to be controlling all the water in the area and he's like what are you doing in my city? And we are going to cut back to Robis no Biss you are you are in the living room of coach Eek He sits you down and he pulls two cold ones out of the fridge and pops the caps off these banana takaris Hands you on and he sits down in his old rickety chair, and he's like so so I forget my voice. Um, tell me What are you about to lately? Well, I've been living in Lapis Harbor.

Oh, yeah, you abandoned the jungle, right? Hey, just just because I got out doesn't mean I abandoned everybody here But I mean you're either a hometown boy or one of them big city folk. I Wouldn't exactly call latest harbor at the big city. Oh, you're so big bad now.

That's not even a big city isn't nice I'll go so coach. Um, do we have any information about my sibling here? I thought it was my twin brother But it's my twin sister. I didn't even know that was possible Yeah, you know, no how fraternal and twins work or whatever.

I don't know which one well I don't know there's one of them that they could be different right? I'm not a geneticist. I was just a coach. Well, all I know is this career that my college career ended when I got hit It really hard with a coconut Oh, oh, I know is that I'm the evil and so I'm gonna have to grow a mustache boy.

Oh, why why are you like evil when I Understand that have you heard our podcast before I basically a war criminal I don't know. I don't know that means but Okay, are you a worker? Oh, I don't know, maybe okay, so what do you want from me? I just thought you you might know who this was.

I mean my mom's not with us anymore Right. Well from what I remember when she brought you home She tried to raise you guys with a hard times babies are expensive and so uh, she's saying your sister to live with uh, with with your aunt Well on which one I've got like seven you know boomer's are yeah I am a boomer You see a little bit I'm I'm young I heart doesn't matter. Anyway, she's on the living the Amazon and Amazon Not the store Amazon Kansas. Yeah in Amazon Kansas.

She she said what's that top to live in Amazon Kansas? I guess I don't know should I go there should I seek out my my good twin? My coach tell me what to do what I told me to show me you told me to play football gorilla football. I tell everybody that it makes a place draw harder Whether or not it's true.

I just want to win a fucking championships someday I take use the secret you coach football you take every kid aside You say you've got a chance for the big leagues buddy Gotta put it in your all give up on your other dreams only practice football Then you get a team of people that think they can make it and they try really fucking hard God is this way this is that pretty unethical Well, this is the way I coach, you know, it's a method the board only really cares about victory Well, okay. Well, I mean what should I do coach? I don't go play football. It's always my answer Okay, I don't know go play college football.

Okay, so I'm I'll talk to you later coach and I'm I'm gonna leave because clearly he's drunk off of these banana daiquiris He's just going on about that Book a flight to Amazon Kansas Okay, all right So much more exotic than I thought Can this yeah, just that part. All right, so you're gonna book a flight to Amazon Kansas Are you gonna do anything in your hometown before you get on the plane? I'm gonna go down to the The reservoir that we used to throw rocks in as a kid. Okay, like when we got a driver's license and uh It could uh go hang out on our own and I'm gonna go buy the uh shopping center that had the belk in it That all the cool high school kids used to hang out in but you know nobody's there anymore There might be like one or two cars.

It just seems like they're dealing drugs Okay. Yeah, a lot of world building happening. I like it Man, uh, congo. What is it Virginia?

I'm gonna drive by my old high school, but they tore it down because it was full of asbestos The built a new high school. So I don't really recognize it when I went there There was uh like 20 trailers outside because it was a quad A school and there was no room for all the students There's a lot of detail happening here. This seems way more autobiographical This is low key a fucking will retrospective right? But you know what I didn't go to high school in fucking congo, Virginia I think it's allegory at this point.

Yeah, one town looks very similar to another. Yeah These are these are echoes of small town america. Um All right, so yeah, you you visit your depressing home Uh, and then then you get on a flight to um the amazon, Kansas, okay, uh, we're gonna cut back to the other two Um, uh, both roll me a lore. Oh, no It's a real low threshold.

It's a zero. Okay, I got a four. All right, up draft you you do know this person as uh, riptide Uh riptide being uh, a very powerful meta who's basically king down here Constance you definitely know this is riptide and you you've you've basically known him known of him since he started his superhero wing And he was basically like strong enough to join like the the world protecting heroes, but then kind of gave up on the surface world This dude's hyper tough Okay, and he he is standing upon this building controlling a swirling vortex of water around you guys Uh or also back draft uh back draft he sent out into the ocean I'm gonna I'm gonna look up at this guy and be like whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, hey I'm I was just here to run an errand. He started some shit I was just trying to not have him burn down the entire city.

Sorry. Sorry if I overstepped Uh, I'll just leave if that's what you want. Just let me go Constance, do you say or do anything? Sorry our business is done here unless you can't keep the riffraff out of your own streets Damn He he does he does not react that very well He kind of forms a water bubble around you and then launches you out of the city upwards Both of you together.

I well shit Within moments you are now surfaced in the middle of the ocean both of you together Did you have to antagonize him for real? He wasn't showing respect. He's a fucking king. Of course.

He's not showing respect Also, who are you my name is Constance Englewood pleasure to meet you I'd shake your hand if you know this whole situation if we lost in the middle of the fucking ocean terrible at this voice I'm so sorry He'll just this is why I don't go home like old to southern I like how you didn't even venn diagram it like it didn't go from old to old southern to southern just away from old to southern Okay Stuck in the middle of this ocean because you antagonized him Alright, so what he gets to it you're kind of just you're uh you're floating in the water currently Look because you helped me out even though I didn't need it I'll get you to sure but I don't deal with humans for as much as I can because they're humans so That's it okay girl. I don't need your help No, and Carlos told me to keep an eye on you So I'm gonna do and Constance is gonna make herself like a little bubble of sound to flittle the water. Okay Who told you to keep an eye on me? Chronos who the hell is chronos?

Do you young people not know your elder gods anymore? There's only really one god I care about oh education is down to me. Okay. Yeah, you don't need my help Okay, bye, and I'm just gonna shoot off into the air and turn into air and go towards lap starter Okay, so I'll draft a certain flow away Constance.

What do you do? If she's an heir probably can't see her anymore, right? No, I will probably like the only place to go is like a starboard. So I will also go there.

Okay. All right So you are headed there as well Okay, so you guys are are looking along of the open ocean and so draft is bitching the entire way Oh, if she's bitching the entire way that I can hear her and I can follow her because you have because you you do the sound thing Okay, so you yeah, you can't be kicked out of the only city that I don't hate because she couldn't fucking just be nice or something fucking humans So you guys are headed back there. We're gonna cut back over to robo nobo your your flight went well. Um, you got a small thing of peanuts and Because it wasn't it wasn't a super long flight for Virginia to Kansas.

It's a yeah moderate flight And then you arrive I'm gonna I I forgot that I can get on the internet with my body and I'm going to Search for anything that is related to somebody. I'm gonna get on, um, bonobo ancestry calm Is Is there is there anything going on in amazon? Kansas that might be related to somebody that resembles my Twin twin sister good twin sister. Uh, you're you know where your aunt lives.

Oh, okay Uh, you're aunt, uh, simphora lives here. Um, and you know about where she lived You used to visit when you were a kid and her missed she has like a she's like a really nice three story miss She married up and then her husband died. She's kind of a widower. So okay So, okay, so I'm gonna look her up and uh and uh, see if I can go visit her uh, her mists All right.

So yeah, uh, you you go there. Um, she she still lives there. Uh, do you do you go to her house? Yes, when do you knock on the door?

I'm assuming? Yes. Yeah, so uh, she she gets the door and she's like, oh, hey, robo. Why are you doing?

Oh, hey, hey, and so It uh, what uh, whoa, aunt fora? Is that's what that's what we call to growing up? Yeah, and fora. Um Um, uh, it was just in the neighborhood.

Um, do you can I come and visit? Oh, yeah, sure sure Okay, so we we go in and um, I uh, have some uh tea with her some some banana tea and uh, I show her the uh, the polar ride. So, yeah, I figured you'd find out sooner or later. Who is this?

I don't know anything about my sister. Well, I mean, he used to play with her back you when you'd visit as a kid. Do you remember you used to remember your cousin pan? vaguely.

I mean, I was really young. Yeah, she wasn't really your cousin. Uh, she was she was more of your sister. But I you know, I had the ability to take care of her better than your mom did and she didn't want to, you know, give it up for adoption specifically and I know we worked out a deal maybe it wasn't the greatest deal, but uh, I don't know.

I worked out for the kids. Oh my god. Uh, do you know what she's doing now? Uh, you know, kinda she keeps in touch a little bit.

Um, she's uh, yeah, it's yeah, kind of. Well, you've got to give me your info. I think I got her card around here somewhere. Hold on.

And she starts searching her house for a good 45 minutes. Uh, you just wait for that. Um, yeah, I'm gonna look her on her house and look at some of the, the, uh, knick-knacks and maybe some like stuff that she had around that I vaguely remember as a kid and it's bringing back some like nostalgia memories, you know, curios that she has that I like really clearly remember from my uh, robo childhood. All right.

So as she's doing that, we're gonna come back together too. The other two, you guys, um, uh, you guys, or well, updraft first, uh, you're being followed, but updraft, you make it too, uh, leap is harbor. Okay, I'm going to gas land, although I freaking hate the city, especially compared to Atlantis. God Atlantis was so nice.

Oh, freaking old lady, I'm gonna land and go to a very, the, the, the bad rings here, right? Yeah. Yep. I'm gonna go check on the area that I buried them in.

Okay. Uh, it's giving off real bad vibes and the like concrete around the area is a little bit crumbled and like you feel like a radiation in the water nearby. Yeah. Shit.

It's, it's real bad. It lasts a little longer. And like within a few square blocks, all the trees that are planted are kind of dying and like all the grass is brown. Shit.

Uh, anywhere else put them best place for them right now. I just gotta get this done fast, I guess. They don't want to go anywhere. So where the hell am I gonna put them?

Shit. Yeah, we're just gonna leave them here for now. Uh, are there, and are the other two rings that I'm holding? Are they pulling me any direction?

Um, very, very lightly. So like you're, you don't know a very specific direction direction to go, but like kind of a vague direction. It doesn't seem like there's a very strong pull at the moment. No.

Well, could you, I know you're like busy or whatever or sick or whatever the hell, but could you like get on your shit, please? Because I'm trying to do this and you're just not helping. Anyway, um, I guess I'm gonna go that way. All right.

As, as you're going that way, um, Constance, give me a, give me a, give me a, a notice roll. Oh, that's a two. Okay. So you're, you're able to track updraft because updrafts not being super stuffy with her, with her vocalizations.

So you're able to track her. Are you staying a distance or are you gonna go up to her again? Pretty much near her. Like she knows that I'm there at this point.

So there's not much point in subject to subterfuge. Okay. Sorry following her. All right.

So like you're not like trying to stay hidden. Yeah. Uh, roll me here. The note is updraft.

Zero. All right. Yeah, you don't notice. It's not even trying and you don't notice.

Uh, I'm rolling real bad. I'm gonna head towards the direction that the wind rain is taking me. All right. Um, you start heading that direction.

Uh, you walk by what looks like one of those street porta-jans, you know, like the, with the big turning doors. Um, and as you walk by the door opens and like wine bottles kind of spill out all over the street and I nice and kind of stumbles out. Uh, he's like, you called, you, you ran on the phone, you call and I'm here. What's you need?

What's up? Did I call you? You said something that you were like, Hey, I'm trying to help. I think.

Oh, so you're answering for my, but she just doesn't even care about me anymore. That's cool. She's, she's so sleepy. Well, she woke up enough to yell at me.

She can wake up enough to freaking help. You know what? It's not your fault. I'm sorry.

I'm yelling at you. Hey, it's been a while. I know. Right.

Hey, I got a favorite ask for you real quick. Okay. What? Okay.

So you know how like everyone on our side, we're getting the heralds and the heralds. Yeah. Work for us and all that kind of stuff. Yeah.

I have, I screw up real big. So, um, the person I picked is real headstrong and they don't really like me that much. And I kind of, I went a little hard in the paint and he pulls out like a mason jar that's full of like green gas. And he's like, she does the whole thing.

She turns in the gas. I put her in a bottle. She's not super happy about it. I need to hang on to it.

Well, she calms down. You put her in a bottle. She's not going to calm down. You know, time heals all wounds.

Not when you're stuck in a freaking bottle. Okay. But I tricked her into saying yes anyway. So she's just not doing what I say.

But in the end, she's going to have to and I can't keep carrying. I'm going to drink it someday. That's not going to be a good idea. I don't drink people.

I'm just, I'm trying to not trying to, you know, antecedent intervention and trying to handle you. I'll take the bottle, but I'm going to look at him like really, this is, this is what you want. You want me to carry your champion or you want me to carry your herald? Yeah.

Because she's like, she's really, she's really upset about me whole like tricker. And like, I took her away from her friend and she's not happy about that either. Yeah. Fuck.

Who is this? Go to self-free. Her partner might come looking for her. Don't.

He's not that big of a deal. So hold on. Hold on. You're telling me you trapped someone who I'm guessing named themselves free.

Yeah. This is a good jar. She can't melt it. She's like, no shit.

It's not big. This is a good jar. Okay. But she named herself free.

And now she has trapped. Do you see the problem here? I know you're drunk. You're constantly drunk.

Do you see the problem? Well, it's a guy who has me. But I thought that big of a deal. I love you.

But sometimes you're so dumb. He gives you a weird wet forehead because he's like, he likes you. I don't count. And this person over here, they're, they're following you.

What who? It's the old lady. She's, she's, she's hooked up with ground nose. Constance.

That's your name, right? She looks up from writing in a journal. Why are you following me? I do what I'm told, girl.

So do I. Daines gets way too uncomfortable close to your ear and says, keep it friends closer and closer. And then he vanishes. He vanishes and leaves you a jar of green gas.

What am I supposed to do with a person in a bottle? I don't open it. You know, that's not the worst idea. But also if she's that pissed off, I really don't.

It's kind of dies problem. Isn't that whole young lady feminism thing? Kind of your young people vibe. What feminism?

I like all of a sudden cause it's anti-feminism. She's all this fuck. So is sub-trapped. So is she like a, she like a, Constance is like the shitty old.

She's like, she's not old enough to have perspective. All right. So we're going to come back to Robo, no, real quick. Roba, no, she gets you a card and the business card, there's like a local business here in the Amazon.

It's like a, like a social, like a start social network tech company that she is part of. What? What's it called? So yeah, it's called bonobo.

It's a social media slash sock company. What's it been almost doing? Is that? She's floating.

Yeah. She pants. Um, it's, yeah, it's, it's pants. Yeah.

She works out of the web distributor for pants. Oh my God. Hands up. That's it.

Yep. Welcome to improv. All right. So so that's it's a local place.

What do you do with that information? Yeah, I'm going to, I'm going to thank my aunt and see what's going on at this local, I'm going to head off to the local pants social media distributor place. It's a pants based social media. All right.

So yeah, you, you head in, it seems like a kind of a fun hip office for like being back chairs and slides. Mm hmm. It's very, it's very Google-esque. Yeah.

What do you do while you're there? Oh, geez. Did I even, what's my, uh, what's the name on the card? Her name is Pan.

Pan. Okay. So I'm, I'm going to go up to the, uh, who is the most official looking person? Because it looks like a fucking mad house in here.

I don't know who's in charge. Yeah, there's jungle gym. Um, there's like, there is a receptionist, but there's nobody like in, in business suits or anything. Well, okay.

They're all just monkeys. Okay. I'm going to go to the receptionist and I'm going to say, uh, hello, I'm, I have a meeting scheduled with Pan. Uh, let me check it quick and she taps on a keyboard.

She's like, uh, yeah, she doesn't really, she's kind of walking around campus if you want to go find her. She's like these walk and talk sort of meetings. It's annoying. Dude, she's out right now.

Uh, she's probably in the quad. Okay, thanks. And then I'm going to, uh, how grown in is my mustache at this point? Not very.

You've decided to grow it not only a few moments ago. Okay. So I'm going to, I'm going to twirl some of the sumble. Okay.

So leave the receptionist. All right. You twirl some of the sumble. You walk and you see there seems to be like a, a head chip in charge sign of papers and doing walk and talk meetings.

She seems to be bossing people around. Okay. I'm just going to, uh, kind of move in towards the back of the crowd and see if I can listen in on, uh, what the, uh, what the chimp is saying. Okay.

It seems like a lot of people are like going up to her and asking her like, what do you think about specs on this? And she's like approved or disproved or give me more extra, give me more why she's real, uh, real hands on and in charge. Okay. Um, um, yeah, I'm going to walk up to her.

Um, before you get close, she turns around and sees you and looks you dead in the eye and she says, brother, and that is where we'll end this episode of the Villan on the ground. I've been happy with the game mustard and I can be found on Twitter at the happy puket game mustard. That's not the whole thing. It's just a happy puket game mustard.

Yes. Oh shit. It's, I'm Ali and you can find me on Twitter at aluminum underscore. I died.

I'm Will and you can find me on Twitter at role will underscore and I'm Stefan. You can find me at stepho Kingston. If you like spot as a whole, we are on tour at S H U podcast. If you like us know, give us money.

We have patreon.com slash S H U podcast. If you want to help us out, give us a review on Yelp because we are on there now. We're set up to be the number one rated podcast on Yelp. So fuck iTunes.

We have no chance of making it there. But yeah, said it couldn't be done. And they were probably right. It shouldn't have been done.

Here we did it anyway. We did it anyway. Alex, can you read a Yelp review? Oh, um, let me bring that up real quick.

There are a few. There are a couple of, did you have the help reviews or am I going to have to bring them? Yeah. I mean, I can, I can say a Yelp review.

Okay. Yeah. Uh, shoot, read me a Yelp review. I'm gonna leave that up to Will.

Okay. Me, uh, pull one up. Does the official master of Yelp reviews from here on? Yes.

Oh, no, I wrote one of them. I gotta make sure it's not. Is that inside? William M?

My any chance? Yes. Actually, if you have that, why don't you read that stuff? I don't.

Oh. I know. It's a shame. Okay.

Maybe on the next episode. I remember like saying it like that's Bill. All right. We'll get it ready for the next episode.

We're not going to read in this time. I'll probably get this out then. All right. So we'll see you on the next time.

Bye. Bye.