Villain Underground #85

and welcome to another episode of the villain underground. I am happy puker game master. And I am here today with four infectious babies. We got Lyme disease Sally playing updraft.

Sally who Sally I was doing a fake out. I was doing a fake out. We have a staff infection Phil playing Silicon artist. I am Sally.

Yeah. Oh, well, then we do have a Sally. Are you a Mustang Sally? No, regular cult Sally.

We have the bot flies of the podcast staff playing. Playing constant. No, I am Sally. Oh, now it's becoming a Spartacus thing.

And we have Mico Trilliosis. I think I don't know. What is that? It's not a thing.

Oh, well, it is now. There's a thing. Zinko. We have Zinko Trilliosis.

We have Zinko Trilliosis. We got XB. Aladocius Zinko Trilliosis. We have Will playing a Robis novus.

I just went first. That was my. Oh, OK, yeah. There was interruption.

Good. We're a real play-based podcast based in the universe. I said you everything on the spot gas feed is gone. Go whatever.

Would somebody like to tell us what happened last time to our beloved characters, somebody who was actually here? Oh, it looks like not a good time for constants. No, I just want to remember it. I mean, we went to space.

It was bad. We went to some kind of solar star energy station. I just fear. Yeah.

How many vacuums? Oh, yes. Yes, and it did indeed suck. So.

Oh, my dog. Sick work. Yeah, Robo and Constance went there, said by Zinko Cage. Everything was bad.

There were aliens. We distracted some of them and then we kind of blew the place up and ourselves. And I believe we are currently just trapped. It was the Dyson screw pull of Trungletite.

I don't think I ever said the word Trungletite, but they were aliens. They were short, weird aliens. Yeah, I don't think I ever said Trungletite. They don't remember what happened after.

Up to Gaia's Island and had a very argumentative conversation with Gaia. Extremely passive gross of mom tactics. Yes. Yeah.

And then left to go back to find all of the people who had the rings, except she got waylaid by my asthma on the way there. Does anybody remember what happened to two silicon artists? Many, many episodes ago. He had a lot of flesh fingers.

I remember that. I was fighting. I was fighting Jimmy as last time I remember Jimmy was like in a robot suit. That looks like a shark.

Yeah. Yeah. I look like and he was shooting rockets at me and then I like kidnapped him. I attacked him and knocked him out and I was holding him like a baby.

And then the two people I was with, they vanished. They became it. Yeah, they left. Oh, Crimson Clover.

Well, yeah, Crimson Clover and Gina Irons. Yeah. They had they had left the area. And I think at the end, didn't Jimmy tell for Megalobot to attack?

Yeah, he told me to hurt me. I was hoping he'd forgot that. No, I think if I like legitimately forgot something like that and the people listened, they'd be like, that's not what happened. And I would never hear the fucking name of it.

Alex takes good notes. I know I don't. I do not. It's funny because now that I'm not editing Generation Justice, sometimes I'm like, I don't even know what happened.

Now that I don't listen to this show anymore, I have no fucking clue every time. Well, I'm I'm handling mentioned Zingo Cage. I would not. It's the curse of being on a show where you can't remember what the fuck happened on podcast amnesia.

It's very real. It's really real. It's sort of like, you know, just like trying to remember your dreams. You're like, did that happen?

Maybe? No, or that was last week that we did that. Then yeah, yeah, like none of that makes sense. I was watching the show table with Phil, right?

Yeah, that's what we were eating pizza, eating pizza and watching Chef table. OK, so we're going to start with the Seltz, a mega robot has started launching missiles at you and running towards you. You do have Jimmy in your arms, though. I do believe.

Perfect. I'm going to try to put Jimmy in front of a rocket if there is one that is really close to me. All right. Yeah.

Roll me a roll me athletics to do that. I got dexterity. Is that close or you want to fight? Yeah, that's fine.

Yeah, that's fine. OK. Whoa, Jimmy, you're in trouble, buddy. I got it.

Eight. OK, yeah, you put him in front of a missile. It hits Jimmy. Do you like go of him because your hands are going to get hurt a little bit too, because it has a explosion.

My hands. I'll hurt my hands a little bit. OK, you take two points of damage and Jimmy gets hit by rocket and gets knocked out. I think of the way I wanted it.

Jimmy is not unconscious. OK, I am going to try something that I haven't, you know, ever tried as a silicon artist, the con artist character. I'm going to try to con this robot. Yes.

See if I'm OK to do. Oh, how are you going to deceive him? I'm going to try to change my voice and be like, Hey, boss, stop. All right.

You're over at the sieve. Hey, remember that stat I have a three in, but never use. Yeah. Deception.

I got a four on it. Ah, let's see if my robot is dumb. Megalobot is a robot. So yes, it stops.

Hell yeah. Well, now I know I can control a robot with my voice. I, geez, I don't even really have a space for Jimmy. You know what?

I'm going to try to climb in the robot. Are there any like actual like controls or is it all voice actively? Yeah, there are controls. Like you you sit kind of back in front of the main dorsal fin in like a chair situation and there are a couple of like levers and stuff.

OK, I'm going to kind of pull the levers. I'm going to try to get a feel for how to move this thing. OK, you get a feel for how to move a Megalobot. OK, perfect.

I will grab Jimmy. I will get into Megalobot and I will go back to the club that I told them to convert from a bar into. What did I have them converted to? It was still a bar.

It was just there was a bar that served only water, I think. That's right. OK, yep. I want to go check on the aqua bar.

The aqua bar. OK, so you head to the aqua bar with Jimmy and Megalobot with a JB and Megalobot. OK, so you make it down to the aqua club with Jimmy and Megalobot. You are there.

Is there anybody? I didn't leave anybody in charge. Did I? No, not at all.

Absolutely not cool. You know what? I'm in charge now. I'm going to walk in there.

We can do a lot. Can I get that smaller? How big is Megalobot? Megalobot, the doors were built to fit a giant shark man.

This is the robot is the same size as the shark man. So yeah, you can walk right in. Like this, lovely. I love when situations work out.

Everyone I will play seems terrified. They're kind of trying to stay away from the giant robot. Friends, don't worry. It is I silicon artist.

You may not have known this, but I deceived you earlier. I was not Megalodon. It was me. See, I can do it again and I turn into Megalodon.

OK, and then I turn back. OK, here's the deal. You're doing good work making this a aqua bar. I love the name aqua bars as well.

I don't know if that's the name. It's the name now, but because I run this place, you see Jimmy here. He's a little tired. They'll burn to shit.

So a little tired. He signed over the bar to me because he was the one that inherited it once Megalodon left. So it was Jimmy's Jimmy was kind enough. He saw that I was truly a visionary, getting rid of the alcohol.

It's going to make business boom. And so I own this place now. OK, you say that to the bars, not entirely full. There's a couple of people in there that seem like they were dancing, but the giant robot in your speech, you kind of put a damper on the dancing.

So there's this is where you clap, everybody. Everyone kind of awkwardly slow claps, right? Move some levers and make Megalodon's arms go up in the air. I can sort of menacingly and be like, clap harder.

And then I make the robot clap. OK, the people clap. Enjoy your evening. Enjoy the water.

I hear it's fresh and I march the robots in the back room. OK, all right. You are in the back room with your big old robot. Are there any near duels doing back door deals?

No, it seems like that had ended after the the slew of stabbings. Perfect. So we've got a good name out there for ourselves. As a place where people get stabbed.

And that doesn't serve alcohol. I'm going to type up a press release. OK. And I want it to basically describe the new aqua bar, which I don't remember what the name of this place was beforehand.

Was it like the fish tank or something like that? Oceanic. The oceanic we're changing the name. The ocean, the formerly oceanic facility is now called aqua bar.

We are a T totaling facility. We do not serve alcohol. We only serve the freshest waters from around the globe. And due to the lack of alcohol, we believe that has solved all the stabbing problems we've had in the past.

We are beefing up security with our new automated autonomous. Is that the right word for autonomous? No, automaton automaton, automaton security forces. We'll ensure everybody is allowed to have a wonderful family friendly fun time.

OK. All right. So you are busy typing that up. You see on the news as you're typing that up that there was a nuclear explosion a couple of times over.

How sad? Because of that, we're going to cut over to updraft who you are flying away from. What was it? Admiral Admiral pollution.

My asthma. Oh, no. Yeah. But you were flying away from an pollution, but my asthma is in front of you, correct?

Oh, yes. Yes. So my asthma is there. What do you do?

Can I get around him? You're just going to try to float around him. Yeah. All right.

Roll, I guess, athletics to get around him. Plus three. OK, you're able to skirt him. He's still following you and he's shooting beams at you.

So he got a four to beam at you beam gross. I guess I need to ask like a candidate. Yeah. Again, yikes.

He got a what? He got a four. He's not very fast. All right.

So what are you going? What are you doing? I'm going to the apartment where all where all of the people I gave the rings to were supposed to be gathering or I'm assuming that that's where they're gathering. Well, you just kind of put three of them there.

Yeah. All right. So you you eventually get there. It takes a little while.

You're turning to air. I'm assuming and fly fast. Yes. OK.

So you eventually get to that apartment. I will re materialize and knock on the door like a civilized person, I guess. You just hear a TV from the inside. You hear TV going from the inside.

I will continue to knock on the door. Eventually the the girl who gave the heart ring to opens the door and she's like, hi. Hi, so good to see you again. There might be a problem.

Is everybody here? No, the guy with the earth ring left. He told me to stay here. OK.

He went to go fight the thing. I'm sorry, the thing. What the the it's on the news here. I'll show you.

Come in. Oh, OK. I don't see this going well, but OK. OK.

So you go over to the news and you see Admiral Volusian is the whole bunch of heroes fighting him, including the people with the rings, one of them, not all of them. OK, just the one. OK, where is everyone else? So they're like, well, I couldn't do much.

So I don't know. Nobody else has been here. It's just me. He's been trying to teach me how to use the ring, but it's I don't know what.

Why are you back? Well, you see that that whole the dude on the news right there. He's he's a little bit. Well, so a friend of mine did something really dumb and he kind of came out of that.

So a friend of mine. So you know, not me. Every time anyone ever says that it's always them, but it wasn't me this time. It was it was a guy called Desilicon artist.

That was his name. Oh, OK, I don't entirely believe you, but sure. Yeah, so I'm just watching this live news broadcast and hoping the world doesn't end. Do you want to join me?

I've got finger sandwiches or we could go like help maybe? I mean, I couldn't stop him myself, but maybe with all of that other nonsense happening there. Maybe at that moment, you see on the live news feed, a large beam comes flying out of the the woods and strikes at my pollution and revolution explodes into a large plume that cracks open an alternate dimension. And out of the alternate dimension, it looks like angels are flying out and fighting everybody.

I have so many questions right now, but it looks like the immediate problem solved. So does it? I mean, and all pollution's not there anymore. That was the main issue.

Are the rapture look, we all can't run water bars. OK, step the story has to progress somehow because there's sure is hell you happening with this character. OK, so you see that happen on the news. So I don't have a problem, but my asthma still is.

Well, not a great problem. You're able to run it. Yeah, it's not an immediate problem. We've established that.

Hey, hey, do you have popcorn? Sure. I mean, I don't I don't eat, but this seems like an occasion for popcorn. Do you want to do it?

Could get a pander? Do you want to air popped? Which one's better? I think air pop is better for you.

It's not OK. Then air popped, I guess. OK, let's try to make a pun with the never mind. I got what you laid out.

Do you need help with that? Because I can I can just do it. Mm. No, it's OK.

I got it. There's an air pop machine. I can do it myself. All right, I'm just going to watch this because this is now really fun to watch.

OK, yeah. Get him. OK, so you are are watching that. It's a bunch of crazy angels are flying out of the the the rip and attacking all the heroes and the heroes fighting them.

It's a big event. I'm throwing the newly made popcorn at the TV when something happens that I don't like. OK, we're going to cut back to Constance and Robanovo. You are in a collapsed building in space.

Last time was actually like that first time that I had been like combat to. Yeah, like my like I like heavily burned. Yeah, it's not good. I don't like it.

So it's there. Sorry, I was just reminded what's like the. Layout of where we are right now. You were in an air duct and then Robanovo started punching through walls and kind of collapsed area around you.

So you're kind of in a small collapsed whole area. Yeah, so there's debris and rubble and and such about you. I know I'm close to death, but this is ridiculous. Do you want me to start punching a hole out of here?

Yes, and we're going to do a physique. I'm not I'm not punching. I'm just like moving rubble. Trying to push.

Oh, OK. Yeah, I mean, I want to fight the wall. Well, it's what you did. I think it was what you did last time.

I'm like darkness. OK, yeah. Oh, four. OK, you're you're slowly making your way out of the rubble.

I'm constantly doing anything to help or just watching. Yeah, can I use my hearing aids to basically like enhance my hearing and try to like listen for where the closest exit is like, yeah, I'm in my ear in the wall and be like, all right, this direction, there's like an open hallway or something. Yeah, sure. Really a notice.

You got three. You got a three. I did. OK, so yeah, you're able to help navigate.

And eventually you guys are out of the rubble. You're now exposed to the outside. What do y'all do? How do we get back?

Can we see the earth from here? No, OK, I was just going to just jump. Just jump. Jump down.

Oh, boy. OK. No, you cannot see the earth. OK, you're you're you're weird.

Wibbersnapper of God brought us here. Did he have an exit strategy? Oh, yeah, I'm going to see if I can tweet at a quick. All right, you tweet it.

Zinkokish. He shows up and he's like, what a dog. Hey, bro. Or should I say, no, we should.

Oh, I'm missing. Every. Hey, bro, how do we get home? Oh, yeah, I could be me back.

Do you want to go there? I mean, this is pretty tight. Well, I mean, there's no more sun, so it's not going to freeze pretty quick, but everyone out here is going to probably die. But we didn't notice that the sun was missing from the Dyson.

Yeah, no, you totally know. I'm going to turn around and gasp. Isn't that what we did? And we like, you beamed all of the energy out of the sun.

But we can collapse the moon. Yeah. Yeah, he's like, yeah, I can be me out. What's up?

Where do we want to go? Where do we want to go? Anywhere with a daytime cable connection. OK, do we know about Aquabar?

I can't remember. I think we did. Robo does. Oh, I know somebody who has Wi-Fi we can leech off of.

OK, so that's where you want to go, Zinkokish says. Yeah, bro. All right, Bob. Let's go.

And he's actually all to Aquabar. Silicon artist, you're writing your manifesto and Robo and Constance get zapped down to you. I immediately head towards the the router and start looking at the password for it. Who is this?

This is how Silicon artist. Hi, Robo. Welcome, I guess. Hey, bro, you want to watch a movie tonight?

I'm a small business owner. Robo, I don't really know if I have time for movies. You know what they say if you're not putting in 70 hour work weeks. How can you be happy?

I like you. I'm sorry. You got laser like a rest of this generation. No, this is your super power being old.

One of many cool. My superpower is not dying. Oh, so you're immortal. Yeah, I mean, I come at it, honestly.

You know that air girl. Oh, up draft. Yeah, yeah. Doesn't respect what she's got.

Doesn't appreciate it. When you got to work for it, appreciate it for. I think you get that. I mean, I understand it.

I don't know if I appreciate it. Where's your television? I need to watch Jeopardy. Here's a few out in the main area.

Great. OK, Constance goes out to the main room. Just try to like fully any young person she can. But it's empty.

The place is empty. Right. What do you mean? I'll put all the TVs on Jeopardy.

You when you turn the TV on, it seems like every station is preoccupied with a live feed of the heavens being split open and large winged beasts flying out and attacking everything. Even Jeopardy has been opted by this. Well, you get the Wi-Fi password. Hey, Constance, it's not all bad.

It looks like you can take college courses for $10 now. I don't need no book, learn it. Hard work. That's the best school.

Damn it. I'm going to hop in my my robot. It looks like a giant shark. I'm going to go out into the main area.

OK. But yeah, what is Robos like? Like, do you feel like intimidated by this? Like, I'm being a giant robot.

Let's make a lid on. No, this is making a lot. This is making a lot. See, Jimmy over there and Jimmy's just like dropped in like the main area.

Like, I just I walked in and I dropped an unconscious man on the floor. And he's still there. I assume, I hope Jimmy tried to kill me with this. It's got a bunch of rockets.

And then I put Jimmy's face in front of one of the rockets. Now I own this place. So if you want any water, I have water. This is a water bar now.

Why is he just standing there like that? Is he standing or laying or not moving, right? Jimmy, Jimmy, oh, not Jimmy. Oh, no, I'm in my.

Oh, you're inside of it. OK, yeah, I'm operating him just dating, you know, with my like, make a lot of me. About his more of an extension of me. Gotcha.

Yeah. OK. That's pretty cool. I'm glad you made the switch.

What do you mean, the switch to the robot side, bro? It's the way of the future. I'm not a robot robot. I'm still human.

But yeah, I bet you're going digital, man. I guess go ahead in a black event in your flesh, man. It's a relic. Ooh, see, no, what that could, but I got a lot of it.

And I'm not going to do that. Did you have flesh at one time, Robo? Yeah, I was a gorilla. Wait, were you actually like a gorilla or were you?

I thought you were always just a robot. No, no, I got I think my backstory was that I was living in the jungle. And I got captured by a pharmaceutical company that all sorts of weird experiments and shit on me turned me into a cyborg. I just had a whole arc of him going and like meeting his twin sister.

So I had like robot memories. I do have that. He had memory of dead memes up in my brain. I think I was there.

Eventually you guys hear a honking outside. Beep, beep, beep, beep, beep. Not really sure what that is. We don't really have like Uber eats.

I'm not south of the word of sea, but it is. It's Vin. I run up and give Vin a big snooch. Vin flashes his high beams.

Uh, Vin says, Robo, I was contacted by a God you help create. And now I am like you, I am a Herald. Oh, sweet. Yeah.

Also, there are angels everywhere and they're attacking a bunch of shit. So maybe you and I should find somewhere safe to be. Yeah, let's get out of here. Yeah, hop on in.

Hop in. I was a constant and so kind of artist. You'd see this happening. Are you guys going to do anything or?

What's OK? He's angels. Are these like like Bible angels? Oh, yeah.

Cause like, oh hell yeah. Constance is not a Herald, but she is also affiliated with a God. Who is not the Christian God. Oh, yeah.

So, but I don't know where my dude sits in all this. Oh, yeah. No, you don't. You know what?

That's what Constance is going to do. She's going to start talking into her watch. OK. Uh, mission update.

All right. I suppose to watch that one girl. Don't know where she is now. Everything slows down except for you Constance.

And you just hear the taking of the watch. You hear like a booming voice. What are you asking? Well, sir, there's a rapture going on.

And I just wanted to know in your esteemed age opinion. Mm-hmm. What should I do? What's going on?

Find other members of our group. Stay together. Be safe. You want me to point you in the direction of one?

I would like I would appreciate your guidance. OK, your watch hands start pointing in a specific direction, kind of like a compass. And then time speeds back up. Poorit.

I'm going to look at where my watch hands are pointing and be like, well, or unless they happen to be pointing to sleep in the room. No, there's nobody in the room. So, yeah, good. Yeah, no, not pointing to that, dude.

Well, if there's no jeopardy on, I have things I need to be about. Unless either of you, anything. Vin is pulling away with a robo in it unless anybody stops that happening. Great.

Bye. I feel like this group is really bisected right now. Is that a truck? Have I sex with a robot?

Yeah, they have been doing that apparently. I think they're going to get married. Gross that they're not married, right? Really?

No. It's not exactly easy to figure out what love is. I'm just happy somebody has, if I'm being real. At that moment, a large, wicked feature creature, creature, creature, creature comes busting through the ceiling.

My bar. It's got a big old sword. It's got no features on its face, but on its wings, it's got hundreds of eyes. Oh.

Oh, crap. It points its sword down and you hear a kind of a booming voice come up and say, judgment. I knew this was the Rapture. What do y'all do?

I'm going to fire rockets at it. Fire rockets. Fire some rockets. Roll shoot.

I'll let you roll shoot or drive. My shoot roll is a three. All right. You shoot rockets at it.

You hit it with some rockets. It seems it kind of gets knocked back a little bit. Constance, your turn. I would like to do a quick lore check.

OK. It's a very distinctive creature. So see if I know anything about fucked up, no face, I wing angels. I got a four.

Yeah. You know that they are called seraphim. I believe. That's it.

You know what? I'm not 100% sure on everything, Angeli. I just know that they look good. They look cool and they're powerful.

All right. So Constance is going to reach her grandma first where I have almost any Monday. I don't have to. She's going to play a little Bible.

OK, waving in the air and be like, oh, the time has come. OK, I think that's all I can do on my turn. But you can do a lot of your turn. But the angel comes and swings the sword at Silicono Megalobot.

Silicono bot. Mecha artist. Mecha artist. Sorry.

OK. That is a three. All right. You defend against it.

It seems like the angels are weakened here, but it's still fighting now. Mecha artist. You can go perfect. I am going to turn myself into that cool dude from Mortal Kombat.

Basically sprout a second set of arms to control the mecha dot and then I'm going to turn my other two arms into basically like whirling dervish, you know, hammer fist spinning things. I'm going to hit him with my giant fist. OK, my giant spinning fist and then my robot fist now. OK, roll your little punch punches.

Punchy punch punch punch. So that activate I was activating whirling dervish. Right. Six five five.

Yeah. OK, you knock the angel back over the bar falls down over the bar. It seems like all the damage you do it knocks it back, but it doesn't knock it. It was not actually doing damage.

So while it's knocked down, maybe the best idea is to flee. Constance is your turn. Yeah, I mean, I will probably at that point be like you are not going to take this thing out time to go. Come on, Sonny, I'm just going to snap at him and start heading towards the door.

I don't think I might caught it. Can you actually snap? I can't snap. Fuck you.

I don't want to have to. Thank you. Just snap. Brad's my foli.

He's not for me. Brad's my foli. 50% of my foli is his. OK.

All right. So are you two fleeing while the angel gets up? Yeah, I'm going to. Oh, crap.

Pick up the grandma in my robot hand. Constance. OK, which begin running around away. Not around.

Oh, which direction are you guys headed? If you don't like the first little bit, I'll probably be like, oh, that way. And point to wherever my watch is pointing. Sure.

It's fine. All right. You start heading that way. Robo, you are in Vin and Vin is driving, driving away from the scene.

Is there a lot of crazy stuff going on, like movie, secret style, like flying around explosions and stuff? We're looking at the rear view. Yeah. Yeah.

Well, what do we do? Yeah, I know. I'm trying to I'm trying to navigate and find us some of our compatriots. Who have you found so far?

You. Oh, OK. Let's head to Puzzle King's place. I don't think Puzzle King is one, but we can head there anyway.

Do you think his place will be safe? Yes. OK, do you think these things can't do puzzle? Maybe I don't know that's my guess.

OK, all right. You start heading in towards Puzzle King's place. Puzzles are hard. Puzzles.

That's true. Puzzles are hard. All right. So you are headed that direction cut back to updraft.

Yes. You're still watching the television, right? Yep. All right.

So you as you're watching the TV, you notice that the union of heroes all fly into the large opening of heavens and chasing was to be a bunch of other characters that are all dressed in black, also jumping into the the rift. And it looks like all of the union here. You know, the union heroes is like a big super team, like the Justice League. Yeah.

So they're they're following all these black cloped figures into the rift. And then where they all enter the rift closes. Leaving all of the angels. Leave it a bunch.

Yeah. Oh boy, that seems bad. What do you do? I'm going to change the channel to see what else is on because this is boring now.

Every channel is covering this. Oh, except for boomerang, who's just playing old cartoons and talk. Oh, in Tasha. Yeah.

Comedy Central still playing Tasha. I will break of the TV as soon as I see that. Tasha never dies. Well, this check is here.

I don't want to leave her by yourself because that seems like a bad idea. So I guess we'll just hang out and watch cartoons. OK. They're worse ways to spread a ratcher than watching cartoons.

Yeah. Alice, are there a lot of like just a fan and outfits lying on the sidewalk? No, no, it's not it's not left behind. Take anybody with them.

No, it's not left behind. There just seems to be these things. It just seems like a really good like money opportunity for Constance. Yeah, sure.

Yeah, there's there's there's there's Robble places for sure. Just makes a mental note. OK, are you still heading in the direction of the watch pointing? I guess I'm heading the whatever direction it's mecha silicon artist.

It is running. Oh, I picked you up. I'm taking you with me. Yeah, yeah.

I mean, I'm pointing by like really we're going where he wants to go. Are you following her directions? Yeah, for the most part. OK, you guys run out of town where most of the concentration of the Ingels seem to be and you run into a deep forest and just kind of trotting through the forest for a little while.

Hey, are we going anywhere? It just seems like we're going into like a forest. I don't know where I trusted my God, though. I were already very important.

I'm going to stop. I'm going to put her down. So this is a lock with me now? No, God, no, that would take my bones very brittle at all.