Voicemail Dump Truck 72

Oh, what's going on my little chicken parmour dumpers? How's everyone doing this fine Thursday, June 22nd, 2023. It's the triumphant return of the voicemail dump truck. I accidentally took an edible.

You never accidentally, you never accidentally. It is. You thought it was candy? What do you mean accidentally?

You have to explain this. Listen, listen, listen, first off, I just want to go around the room and explain who's here. It's the voicemail dump truck. We were joined today by extra special, super special guest, Bailey Myers, how are you?

That's never me. Pretty good, especially now that I'm extra special, super special, but just deeply curious about the edible circumstances. Yeah, yeah. Yeah.

That was about your edible. Yeah, I just got to get that out of the way before I'm stoned. Listen, listen. What time is it over there?

Do you got time for this? It's the stoning hour. Yeah, it's the time. It's almost it's 404.

OK, he's a little early. You got to wait 16 minutes. I'm going to talk to you about the edible, right? You got to make sure.

Yeah, try to line it up. It's going to take a look again. I just have like a midday brain fart. We're like, this is the dark part of working from home.

This is the part they don't tell you. It was like Friday or something? No, I just was like in my bathroom. And I was like, look into my medicine cabinet.

And I'm like, what's this? And I forgot that I have weed mints in my medicine cabinet. You keep your edibles in the bathroom? Yeah, it's medicine.

That's where it belongs. This is what grown men do. Yeah, so I'm not going to put it somewhere where my key can like read it. And ointment.

Oh, no. Is this going to happen to me soon? Yeah, it's going to happen to you. You're responsible with family.

I'm like, I just keep them in my cupboard. What are you doing? Yeah, and so I didn't even think twice. Like I just opened the thing.

And I'm like, oh, right, I forgot I had these. And I just like bid off a piece of a mint. And then I'm like, oh, wait, I'm working. Like I did that.

I didn't know what's this half hour ago. I'm fine. And maybe it's like two milligrams. It's fine.

It's not like we see the effects by the end of this episode. It's not like a fully you are if I had like a 20 if I eat like half of a 25. I we probably would have postponed the show maybe. It's like a 25.

Yeah, it's fine. It's really delta eight. Well, those were not those were like freak as though he had to those were like 100 milligrams of delta eight. Yeah, whatever that was a time.

I don't know what that is. Like, what is that? It was not like it's like HHC or something like that. Yeah, like my third eye was opened.

Yeah. Oh my god. Yeah. OK, so I'm going to chat to the their coworker made 500 milligram cookies.

I'm sorry. Like could you even imagine ingesting 500 milligrams of THC? Like I would literally die. Yeah.

Like also it's probably disgusting. Yeah, right. It would be so like heavy on that flavor, right? To it would be like.

Anyway, I'm fine. Thanks. Thanks to be tasty. Exactly.

Like I want a nice balance of it all. So I want to talk about that and get that out of the way in case things go a little off track. But that's never happened on this show. Oh, no, no, no, no, no, never.

Also something else I want to bring up. And it's like the first time I like my son had an incident with like seeing a bad thing on YouTube. Oh, no. What kind of bad thing?

Well, so long. Didn't you hear it? No, dude, it wasn't that bad. OK, true.

So he was at a friend's house and they were watching like soccer highlights because he's on a soccer team and like they're all soccer perbs and they just love like amazing soccer plays, which I get like who doesn't who wouldn't enjoy that. So they're watching this. And then I guess like the video that queued up after was like of YouTube short of some horror thing. Oh, OK, OK.

And should I describe it? I'm going to describe it. I mean, it's not like a snuff film, right? I mean, it's not a work picture, please.

I mean, YouTube shorts are the wild west of shorts. Are they not? So this is his description through me, right? So I'm just recurgitating what he said.

Yeah, we get stories back a lot. I know, but you are high. Never mind. All right, here we go.

Give me a show. No, I'll know. I'll say something to know if it's OK. Clap three times, right?

That's all I need you to do. No, I'll be three times. So he's like he was shook, right? Like he's genuinely not happy.

This happened yesterday. And he described it as like maybe someone in chat or one of the chats can like we'll know what this is. He described it as like a vertical video, which is how he was a short of like some girl, like looking all like the ring girl, I guess, is how he sort of described it. Sure.

He and like talking about how she was going to kill her family and like smashing her hand with a hammer or something like that. It sounds like a normal golf girl. That's right. Right.

So right. And like, yeah, they just do that. It's just crazy. Like, how did this queue up right after like messy highlights?

I don't understand. What like, why do that? People do that on purpose, just to mess with kids. And it's really fucked up.

Yeah, but I don't think this was like, because look, there's definitely a horror sort of like theme on like people make horror content. Like I consume some of that. I really like horror. Like I get it, right?

Like we're talking to the goosebumps expert, right? Like you appreciate a good horror. A good scaver. Right.

So like I get it. And I realized that's the omenipulation is the thing. I understand that's the thing. But like, you know, soccer highlights, that's not like a very kid-centric thing, right?

So like, why would you purposefully like manipulate that either way? I have a question here. Was it a complete shutout? The soccer game?

Was it a horror show? And then algorithmized? Oh, yeah. You know, yeah.

I know I'm not at Liberty to take away podcast points. I certainly want to after that. I certainly want to have you are being booed on every platform. I'm really here.

Yeah, so see that. Bailey, you get 12. Yeah. Thank you.

So yeah, so like. Come on, I'm meeting, right? Officially, yeah. So he like, you know, and he's describing it.

And he's really shook it up about it. And like, I had like an hour long chat with him about, you know, the amazing like ways that premier can do things and like show them how things work and like, after effects. I definitely broke through with him in a way where he was, you know, because his mom does TV production. So like he understands that like everything is fake, right?

Like that you see on a computer and on TV. And you know, I think I broke through a little bit with him, but it was it was one of like the really sort of heart-wrenching moments for me. I just broke up. Yeah, he's just stopped being a little bit.

22. He's eight. Oh shit. Yeah.

Good. You're right. Good thing is not. But now he could probably handle jaws comparatively.

OK. Listen, we have to have a pact. Everybody you're doing. Yeah, yeah.

A pact of chat that includes you. I was listening to some podcast or something. And a child psychology expert came on and she like she specializes in kids watching like rated art films or something. It's like she's done a lot of research on that.

She says she's generally in favor of kids watching movies that challenge them and are rated art. Now, I know I know that doesn't necessarily include just go watch a woman getting eaten by jaws. But Dan would take it that way. So we can never ever let him hear this.

I just want to put that out there. Let's lock it down. They should have put it out there. For a conversation.

Yeah. You know, I don't want to be the only one carrying around this information. I have to share with somebody. I'm not going to wind up on a Google Doc somewhere.

My first argument to movie in theaters was Troy. I snuck in. I bought tickets for Mean Girls probably would have been a better movie going experience if I just wanted to see mean girls. But you know, you had to see that heel.

Live like a deal. Yeah. I was underrated. It's a masterpiece.

And it's recent came out. Same. Listen, I just I maybe this serves as like a voice mail prompt. Maybe this serves as some sort of thing.

Maybe a key to conversation going. But I just need to share that with everyone at the top here. After all, this is a call in show 707. Exit Flu is our phone number.

Please leave us a voicemail. We probably have a pretty sizable queue in the hopper. I'm looking at what seems to be maybe 20 or so voicemails. Very excited about that.

I guess if there's nothing else that needs to be brought to the attention of the podcast, we can get right into it. I got something. You first. You first.

You first. I sweat a lot. It was a problem at Summer Games Fest. I was like looking at what the things I could do about it.

And I found this basically my new cybernetic equipment. I got this little cooler from Japan that goes on your back. Yes. It's the ground for and it's like it's got this metal plate on it and it like just goes right on your back.

And it's not even like a fan. It is like a mini air conditioner. And I just wanted you guys to tell me how cool I am for wearing this. The cool.

How cool are you? Well, yeah, exactly. Well, I'm good. But is it working?

You're not cool. It's up or down kind of. So like apparently if like you put it on like a highest cooling, like it is, it feels very cold and does feel really nice. But it's like, if you do this for too long, the sensation, you're like lose like the sensation.

It won't work anymore because you'll get used to it. So it has to like kind of go up and down. So like when the cold goes away, I feel very like panicky. I'm like, I need the cold.

I'm addicted to it now. So this reminds me when I was on cucumber duty with the deli gang before, so whenever someone was like at the grill and like cooking up a bunch of meat, they'd be the yo, yo, Jair and Cukes. And then be like, I thought I got you. I'd like you take a cucumber, peel it hot dog ways and then put on the back of their neck of the nape of their neck and then they cool off.

They say there's no room for specialists in modern America. Amazing. It was better than when I was on milk bread duty. How long have you been using that device?

I just it literally this thing just came today. So I'm like trying to like I don't like I don't need this in the house. I was just kind of messing around with it. But I was building I got to play house with the kids and it's literally like I said, the most would have ever seen in my entire life.

I've been putting it together for two straight days now. I barely made any dent. And I'm out there. And of course, it's like as summer is really starting so super hot.

So I was like, I'm like, where this one I'm doing that would help. So I'm not like a complete mess at the end of the night. And I don't have to worry about that. But yeah, it's sort of fine.

What did they charge and for stuff like that? This this was about $150. So pretty expensive, but I got it from Japan. They don't sell it here.

I was like really worried to control it with an app. And I was like, this app is available in your country. I'm like, what the fuck? So I just I found a rogue APK on the internet.

I'm a malicious software on my phone now. Listen, I'm a very cool person. All right. Clearly.

Yes. Clearly. If you're $150. You're cool.

You may recommend just a bucket of water next year at all times. Thank you. Thank you. I recommend an iced tea next time.

If you want to go like Japanese cooling tech like Emma and I went to Coachella, Emma brought these patches that you stick on the back of your neck that do the same thing and probably were not $150. Goddamn it. Well, here's the thing that I've come to learn very quickly. You have an issue.

Just ask Emma. Okay. No, we had not got to go to Coachella before we went for work for work and doing a Fortnite thing for some reason. And I had never been she had never been and I was so deeply unprepared and she just had a fanny pack with like everything you could ever need in it.

Any kind of medicine, all different sizes of band aids, like everything, extra cooling packs, obviously hair ties, bobby pins, you name it. She had it. I was like, Oh, thank God. I think I would have died out here if it weren't for your fanny pack.

Amazing. Let me stop blackpink. It was a great weekend. What kind of you think back of our what's that?

What kind of music was genre music is blackpink? One of the biggest groups in the world. It's one of them is on the idol show. I'm sorry.

One of them is on the weekends show the idol. Oh, no, I heard you. Notably one of the good parts I read in a review. Black.

I'll actually show all good parts. Yeah, I don't know. I'm like devastating putting her next to what's her face them in character because they're always like, Oh, she has it factor and you've got someone with actual effect or right next to her just really disproving it. Anyway, I have the black pink Oreos literally on my desk here.

What? Yeah. No, backlar, you can't type. I see.

I'm not. No, let's keep it this way. Just like we're keeping our rated movies away from Dan or keeping black pink away from backlar. All right.

You're protecting me. It sounds like fine. Oh, just wait till Dylan accidentally gets served a YouTube short on black pink. I'm sure it happened.

It's a matter of time. It comes from all of us. All right, my friends, let's get into the voicemails. Our super special guest Bailey Myers, you have the honors.

Please choose the voice of the first voicemail. Okay, this feels like a really strong start by going all the way to the bottom to very Jewish grandmother. Yeah, okay. All right, let me hold on.

As a, I really scroll down there as a hover of a very Jewish grandmother myself. I'm very excited to hear what this is about. All right. Home remedies from this week's podcast, my grandmother, when I was a kid, he'd back in to your head.

It's not sense. But if you ever got hurt with that, the head knife was so the question is, what are some other absurd home remedies that you grew? Thank you. You know what?

Okay. I do the head. I do the head. You were grandmothers and neither.

We're all so good sports. Yeah. We're all the ones we got on lock. I thought.

I thought it was supposed to be real. Okay. Okay. Okay.

I have a home remedy that I need to share and thank God my partner is behind me this time. So maybe I shouldn't share this one. No, you come on. All right.

Upon reaching womanhood, right? It was the thought amongst the future in-laws that all you would have to do is take a raw egg, put that in Sarsi. Sarsi is like a Filipino soda. It's like a cola.

It's like a it's closer to a Pepsi than a Coke. There's a difference. Sarsi cola, sure. Drink that, chug it, and then jump down three steps backwards.

And then for some reason, that would knock your equilibrium where you wouldn't be your flow would not be as heavy. I remember hearing the story and I asked, did it help? She said, so this is the least you feel like a real asshole. So we got back out for you.

Yeah, but like this, that sounds very adjacent to like some stuff that like medicine used to do like not even that long ago where you're like, what? Like, you know, about the rabbit, right? Right. What test?

The rabbit test. No. It's about pregnancy. It's always about pregnancy.

Yes, it's pregnancy. That was a full guest shoot. Like I've never heard this. So I think this was like as early as like the 1920s and then for the next few decades, there was a test that involved injecting a woman's, the candidate, right?

Like the possibly pregnant candidate injecting the woman's urine into a rabbit's ovaries and see and that's how they would like figure out if the woman was pregnant. Is the rabbit likes it or not? Like this is some choice piss. No, the rabbit had, I believe a rabbit had to be dead because they would observe their ovaries to see if they would enlarge or not.

They would then refer to the rabbit being dead as a positive pregnancy test. This is real. Look it up. All old medicine sounds like, and I'll leave these like old wives tells about like things you'll jumping the step backwards three times sounds like things that speed runners do to like go out of bounds in a video game.

Yeah, that's good. Put the peat inside the rabbit and then jump down the step three times and then now you're out of bounds. You can do the shortcut. That's yeah.

The test was developed in 1931 and like literally people would use the common euphemism of like did you hear the rabbit died? Mary's pregnant. Like that's what they would fucking say. People are so fucking stupid.

Not even a hundred years ago. It's not even a hundred years ago. It didn't have to be back then. So they needed something to rely on.

How do you figure that out is what I want to know. How do you get there? How do you feel like you get there? I mean, like I don't know how we realized we should smoke weed.

I don't know. But I mean that actually makes sense because it's like a fire. You just find it. You're a medicine cabinet, you know.

You just got a medicine cabinet and you forgot where you were and what it was. Cool rabbit. What can I do with this? Plus this before.

I would hate for this rabbit to go and waste. I mean we should use it for something. Just to go back to the caller. Like Bailey, it sounds like you had maybe one or two Jewish grandmothers.

I did. Although I guess this home remedy was sort of like passed out. I am about to like just a heads up which will be a pun in a second. This is gross.

This is about head lace. Okay. I mean if it can't get grosser than rabbit piss. But it's just going to make it itchy.

I'm already itchy thinking about it. Yeah. It just happened. Right when you said it.

Okay. Well in sixth grade I joined the middle school basketball team. This is another instance of getting into a home remedy situation because I dare to try to do sports. And as a result did get a pretty gnarly case of the hoodloses.

So my parents first made me quit the basketball team fair. And then my mom was like what you have to do is cover your head in mayonnaise and go to sleep with that. That did fucking nothing except maybe smell like mayonnaise. The only.

The only. The only. Yeah. It's like this terrifying imported Israeli chemical shampoo that's like banned in the United States.

And the only thing that did it. Yeah. And a real shit. Yeah.

So in conclusion never played basketball. Oh, okay. Okay. That's the moral of the story.

Yeah. That's the difference there. Yeah. I just like it's amazing where like that was just some sort of urban legend like passed down through like mom generations or for whatever reason and like why does that still sound just equally as bad shit and insane as like stuff you would find on the internet.

Well what if there used to be something in mayonnaise that would have killed lice. No, I mean. Okay. I'm so sorry.

I'm so sorry. Like such specific like expertise like temporary expertise on this because like just listen to a podcast about like the history of that place. Of course. And it was really good.

It was really interesting. But like they brought up the man a saying and I felt so like vindicated. Yeah. Like give me a guy.

I've got to use spicy aioli that's the only thing I want to do anything. Like thank you. Apparently for a while they put gasoline on their heads. I'm like that does seem worse.

Yeah. It seems like I'm glad my mom didn't do that with a price of gas. No way. That's such an insane man.

Oh, okay. All right. Very good. I hope that answered your voicemail appropriately.

Shouts out to very Jewish grandmothers. Yeah. Shout out to the podcast. Sawbones for teaching me all about how sure.

Yeah. Denver expertise. That's a good podcast name. It is good.

I had for maybe like two more days and it's gone. I like that. Jeff Garov. It is your turn my friend.

I'm not going to pick the obvious one because they will just make him more angry. That's what I'm like. Silver the hedgehog. I forgot how that works.

Hey, how about you? Kill Mary fuck. Sonic the hedgehog. Shadow the hedgehog.

Silver the hedgehog. Silver the hedgehog. Silver the hedgehog. I mean silver.

The worst thing. You can Google it. I mean it's like it's a terrible thing. I just remember.

I feel like I know in my heart. We definitely are going to kill Silver the hedgehog. Like yeah, this is the guy. Yes.

Yes. And then was it Sonic and Knuckles? It was the other two? Sonic and Shadow.

Okay. Yeah. Clearly you fucked Shadow and they're stuck. Yes.

Slam dunk. Exactly. Right. Slap dunk for sure.

Love them or hate them. Sonic has stability. Steady gig. You know.

A lot of gold coins depending on the point in the stage. She is at. Yeah. Still in shape.

Right. Despite having a little bit of a tummy. Still a good runner, you know. Never had that knees.

Oh, this is like a movie was pretty good. Yeah. The first one sucks though. This is easy.

You didn't call it. You didn't like the Olive Garden plug during. It did feel like a 90 minute Olive Garden commercial. No, I am.

My issue with the first Sonic hedgehog movie was my favorite thing about Sonic the hedgehog is not when he rides in cars. Fair. He does spend a lot of time in a vehicle. Oh my God.

That felt like it could have been you could have slotted in any video game character that could have been the Crash Bandicoot movie. The second one felt like a Sonic the Hedgehog movie. That was great. I was just bored out of my mind.

And I saw it on Valentine's Day. It was not romantic at all. Oh, oh, oh, yeah. That sounds like we could, we could like, fly or some romance, but I guess I'm wrong.

I remember a week or two weeks before the Sonic movie, the original one came out. Ben Pack and I bought a Sonic the movie Mad Libs Pack. And we went straight to the end. And then we saw like, noun, verb, noun, verb, and then Teddy hand Sonic a thing to get cards to the Olive Garden.

And we looked at each other and looked at the fuck. And we didn't realize this Mad Libs book spoiled the plot of the Sonic movie and like a whole twist twist at the end of the whole Olive Garden thing. So shout out to Mad Libs. Yeah, leak in the plot like that.

The real leakers. Sorry. Sorry. I get all my leaks from Mad Libs.

All right, Jan. It is your turn, sir. I feel really old. Okay.

My kids in the back, see you playing seriously Kingdom right now. He's sick. And you tell me how we saw a video on Breath of the Wild. How you don't even need a paraglider.

You can just pick up a chipkin. And Lincoln glide. And I literally said, we didn't have hair glide. We had the chickens to climb up on my roof and have the ability to glide.

And I feel really old. That's all. All right. Thank you.

That's incredible. Oh my God. I'm so glad that that is our I walked up hills both ways. The school was we had to use tacos.

That was glad. That's all we had. Are they pronounced? Cucko.

Oh, it is my life. That's right. In my brain, I was always like, it makes sense. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Cuckos is really hot, really hot internet right now. Can't I hear that?

Thanks for that. You're wonderful. Great. This is how I'm going to read it any time I see it now.

This is my life forever. Thanks. I'm here for you guys. Mayonnaise and now Cucko.

We're doing great work. No, no one go to Cucko mode. No, definitely don't. Okay.

I will help us pivot out of this. I think it's all our only option now is to get out of here. Tuesday voicemail. I feel like I'll walk right into the trap and I'll do New Jersey.

Hey, I know it's lovely. This cat. I want to make chicken parm, but I want to pound this hella down like real chicken, saucy, chicken, saucy, so on. And I want to call that chicken, double down.

But I don't know what it's allowed. And I didn't have anybody else from New Jersey to have. Thanks. Well, I mean, I just don't know if I'm in that position to be like, you then who?

I mean, I'm saying when he was describing it, my brain went, oh, like a double down. So I feel like, I know I'm not from New Jersey, but I feel like just weighing in from the opposite coast sounds good to me. Yeah. This is something you could be proud of, Veklar.

Finally for New Jersey. In no way am I embarrassed of this sort of culinary experiment, right? Like, it seems really good. I want to know more about, like, I think I need to see more of your literature about it.

Like, I need to understand what exactly you're doing. Like, I'm going to be commissioning his booth. Yeah, I got to keep the conversation about the New Jersey double down, sure. Yeah.

Let's look at photos on his recipe blog. Exactly. I like what I'm hearing. I just got to make sure it's like, you know, in practice actually going to work.

It sounds great. Like I said, are you dredging the chicken? How flat are we talking? Is it like the parm stuff in the middle of the two slices of chicken?

Like, what is it clear about that? He said it's like a lasagna stack like a lasagna. Yeah. And then what is it like?

And then the cheese and sauce in the middle? Yeah, cheese sauce, cheese sauce, chicken, cheese. Stacked on top. You never made a lasagna?

No, I thought the lasagna analogy was for the thinnest of the chovers. Oh, it seemed like it was for all of it. Yeah, I mean, I fucking need that. I don't know.

Like, OK, Google, remind me New Jersey double down. I don't have a Google. It does sound like I shouldn't Google it. Like, it feels like it might be a sex act.

Yeah, it's a good thing when see-mer. Yeah. I'd eat that for free. What I would like is some pictures of this.

Like, I just need to see this. Ooh, which we got to do, right? You got to pound it real thin, then run it through a pasta extruder, right? Oh, that's yeah.

Get the chicken real, real, real thin. And then just like, you just quick pan fry, right? Yeah. And then just big bang boom, throw it in the oven.

All right. All right. Back out, just put a picture of the New Jersey double down into chat for everybody. So if you need to like, stand it yourself, there you go.

I'm just going to see this. Oh, thank God, the link is broken. Oh my god. It was so hard just clicking on that.

Man, I've got broken. It felt really dangerous. I'm like, OK, it's just broken on here. It's bad joke anyhow for your knowing.

Yeah, I don't know what that was. I don't know what I'm not that, but I'm here now. And I just got to hold on. All right.

Just grip it and rip it. Let's go. Grip it and rip it. And we'll go through it too.

Cool. You're freaking me out, grab. Let's go to chat for the next voice mail. You are freaking out, man.

You're like, I know what they're going to pick. They chose I-Med and I'm like, I'm naughty. Let's skip it. Let's skip it.

What? Let's skip it. Let's go to the next one. Oh, no.

Yes. OK. All right. Let's go.

Get fucked up. Emma, it's your turn again. Bailey. Sorry.

Bailey. Wow. Look alike. Look alike.

Wow. Castle. This is a big problem. Back of our.

He put all women in the women bucket and then, oh, man. I'm still embarrassed. Wow. It's OK.

I'm pretty sure, like, on the first time I was in anything with you guys. I accidentally called Jeff Dan. And we had hung out multiple times at that point. I was still like, yeah, thanks, Dan.

Like, yeah, that's right. That's fine. You look like we do look alike. I'm trying to ask for your play.

Yes. Yeah, you look more. Yes. OK.

I feel like I want to know what nuggets is about. Guys, I love you. I love you. I love you here.

I love you. That's about the best. Sounds like sports. It's hoping for.

That was the Denver Nuggets winning basketball. So, it's kind of like the game makes the best chicken nuggets you guys think. Wendy's. I like when you're a spicy nuggets a lot.

But that recording sounded like the horizon recording from like when they go into the black hole and go to hell. I'm like, oh, that's what that sounded like. McDonald's, Paris. We got the right.

It's the boot shaped one. Yeah. And get it in the sweetens our size. They're like waxy.

Yeah, but that's where the goodness comes from. Yeah, that's part of the appeal. You can barely tell the difference between that and then the plastic toys that they made in the 90s. The chicken nuggets with the same factory.

Oh, Jesus Christ. All right. Congrats to the Denver Nuggets. A couple weeks late.

It's late. They won the Stanley Cup last year. That city. And now they get a NBA title.

Yeah, you deserve it. After I left both of them. Yeah, they knew what they were doing. All right.

Bailey went now. Yeah, let's go with buka de beppo triad. This one is an exlically. You know what I guess.

Yeah, what up three AM crew? Fuck Mary killed the buka de beppo triad. That's Martin Sheen, Frank Stallone. So that took a loan and candied the veto.

Same order. Same order like. Yeah. Mark Marik kill four people.

What is that? Like immediately having answers. All right. This will be the canonical answer.

You go. Kill Martin Sheen. Frank Stallone. Mary Danny DeVito.