Jill Helmer welcome to be the people. Oh, thank you. I'm so excited to be here. I'm excited to be here.
Be always here with us everyone. Jill's eight-year-old golden retriever. Do you want to share what she's going through or is it too hard to talk about? So she is going through she was diagnosed in November with stage four lymphoma like absolutely out of the blue at least for us.
How do they find it? So she is a lot like her mother and really likes a good meal to anchor her you know when she gets up and when she goes to bed. So her appetite was off for probably 12 hours which is very unusual and it wasn't accompanied by anything else right so you're like okay and we went her she obviously was lethargic. I thought well it's a Sunday because every animal has an issue when the vet isn't open in my experience and so I was thinking I think you know I might take her to get her checked out and we went outside it was one of those really windy days and she was like sucking the air in and I was like okay that doesn't look right.
And so I know everyone here thought I was a little bit paranoid but I came in and put my coat on and we went to the emergency vet and honestly on the way over she became worse and I was really fucked up. Oh no. We were going to make it there and we made it there and she spent three days there and they did loads of testing but that is what they discovered. But the bright side is that she has been we have a great oncologist so anyone.
Do you do advertisements? Yeah please. So anyone who is ever looking for an oncologist in the Lehigh Valley Dr. Christine Mullen at Valley Central is amazing and she's only here one day a week.
She's actually in the Philly area the other days of the week. She's been fantastic and Bailey has been responding really well to treatment. She's so sweet. Don't be afraid to like really get into your microphone.
Okay. I feel like people get a little nervous to like get in there. Like a little Whitney Houston. Yeah.
Have your moment. Okay. Okay so we were talking a little bit about when I first met you it was 2014 or 15. Gosh.
Your kids were very young. Well you're okay so there's so many things I want to talk to you about but I do want to talk to you about motherhood which I know is not the most important thing. There's a lot of important things. Or maybe it is.
It is though. It is. And raising kids is not an easy thing and so I am always. I am clearly I'm not an expert but I'm clearly willing to share my experiences.
I think you I think you're an expert. How old are your kids now? Current day we have a 23 year old. We have a 21 year old.
So sign is 23. Daughter is 21. Very excited about being a 21 year old. Let's go again.
We have a 16 year old who will soon test for his driver's license. So I'd say like we're kind of we're in it. We're in a really interesting spot. 23 year old has entered the family business and there's a whole lot of adulting that's going on and the realization of what it's like to be an adult which is so not what it's cracked up to be.
So that's interesting and the 21 year old is living her best life but also she's like she's a woman now. She truly is I would say young woman but I don't even like she's a woman. And she still calls and says hey do you think you could send me a package and you could you look for my bathing suit and I'm like what do you need your bathing suit in the middle of the day. You never know.
Yeah so she's she is actually really involved in Penn State's Dance Marathon which is next weekend and she will be there for the entire weekend. The bathing suit is to shower because she is very worried about her appearance throughout this experience. She wouldn't want to be photographed in a way that she wasn't fresh. Aww I love that.
You might have to take that out. Sorry. That's okay. I'm sure it'll be okay.
Okay so did you always know you wanted three children? No. Okay. Is this a sense of subject?
Well Brady is the best thing ever and Brady is the youngest at 16. I had I have a great friend who had three and I met her when she was pregnant with her third and so Chad was really interested in having a third and my friend Robin would be like don't do it. No. Do it.
You know it shakes up the whole dynamic and and you because the older two right have a little there's a five year gap between the middle and the youngest. So that was like the yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
Well should we or should we not and the famous story in the Hammer houses that Chad drove home he works in Boyertown and works on Saturdays and he was driving home and it was the Mccungee Halloween parade. And he walked through our door when we lived in Trexlertown and he was like we're not done yet. And I was like oh well I don't know like I've been here all day. Did he see like a trio costume or something like what did the Halloween parade do?
He just got put in like the little people tumbling along and thought and so that's why Brady's here. Wow. Yes. Yes.
Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes.
Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes.
Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes.
Yes. He's a young man with with sensitivity and Devon like she's her own show like she's she is very sensitive underneath but she presents us if like I've got this whole thing figured out so in some ways it's like there's not this radical difference I am the same mother I know things probably more intuitively that piss her off. Yes. And so I know who I need to be for each of them but I'd say it's more about raising each of them as individuals than it is based on their genders.
Interesting I love that I love that answer. What would you okay, so you kind of touched on this but raising kids today I mean, I know they're adults now young adults, but in today's climate in today's world How do you navigate that? I don't know they do like there, you know, I look at myself as a mother and I look at who I was When they were younger and you know, I was running them into the swing school and you know dropping them off and knowing that They had these people that I trusted you among them, you know With with my kids and helping you know really feeling that you know that village concept and I don't know If it's the change in our own circumstances because they got older or if it's a change in the world But I don't feel as much of that village any longer right and maybe the villages for a period of time And maybe the village changes like they have great, you know role models in their life, but that I Feel like something switched during covid where it became much more Inside of your home and processing all these things that were happening in the world inside of your home And I think we've we've stuck to that a bit and I don't know if that's a good thing or you know a bad thing And it's probably honestly different for each one of them in terms of you know, how much that is but It's hard to find people who are the exact mixture of your value set who write who you would implicitly be like Hey, come be my partner in parenthood Yeah, so so you kind of like pick out, you know traits or experiences with people here and there But that feels different to me than how a village once felt. Yeah, I totally get that I was gonna say I think it's probably just because so much is so much more polarizing in today's world Yes, and these kids they live in that polarization and they They know that when mom presses pause on Tom Yama's that we're about to have a moment and let it rip and and they you know I think that they are the boys are are good natured about it in terms of like hey mom like let's take deep breath and Brady's probably trying to figure it out more in terms of like watching what activism looks like at that age You know in his environment and Devin where I wondered, you know How deeply she would feel about the same things that I did I think very much does it so you know, it's just it's that It's fascinating to watch but also I feel horribly that these are the conditions and the circumstances right when we have discussions You know here.
It's it's not about You know what being a Republican meant right in 1992 is or even 2010 right like it's and so trying to contextualize everything without sounding like let me take you back to When I walk through the snow with no shoes to get to my school right and I was just a little key under the mat for me to get You know like it adds to that age differential or that feeling like my parents really grew up in a different time But compared to what is going on in the world? We really did grow up in a different time. What would you say to young moms who are just having their babies in today's world? What advice would you give them for the young ones?
Yeah, I mean I say to shelter them as much as possible And I would say to not put a device in their hands for as long as you can and that's a lot easier said than done because I also Know the temptation to be like Here you go, but you know, I would that village I do have a you know a sense of while I was talking that throughout loud that it is as Important for you as a young parent as it is for you know For your kids and to be able to have somebody that you can drop a kid off that and know that they're you know No, they're safe and and that it mostly matches with what you would do if you know if their kid was dropped off in your home Or whatever the case is but I just I think that's one thing you know, I Brady was in fourth grade so There's this interesting moment when they were like I think his class was in seventh grade or eighth grade and at their little school They would do a big dance and and one of the other parents who has had had like five kids, you know Like very close together said I noticed with this cohort that they are They're the least likely to sleep over there least likely to do big group activities Like you know, you were like cut right in the middle of you never had a big birthday party You didn't you know like all these things that and and there are things that you read about dating post-COVID for these young people and how much That's dramatically changed and you know part of it is the electronics and that influence But part of it is just like at this prime socialization point. Yeah things changed pretty dramatically so Brady hasn't been in and out of 100 houses right then, you know, and I think that makes an impact somewhere along the floor sure How many years have you been married? 25 oh my gosh, so that's what is 25 is that silver or gold? No, we don't you don't know.
I feel like that's a silver because I think 50 is your gold. I could be wrong That should be a cold middle for sure and not one of the Olympic medals. It's like falling off of no I know I saw that get it together I know it was me Okay, so 25 years if you don't mind me asking Because my my young mom friends gave me questions to ask you What were the hardest years as far as like really connecting like what ages were your kids and how did you find the opportunities to reconnect? So right where they're at those were the hard years, right?
I remember having one of these Called it was so it wasn't Jimberry. It was bouncy you right? Yeah, bounce you birthday party where Honestly like for a young mom, I was probably just too cranked up about I don't know what the whole but I remember like this tense moment of Turning to Chad in the line of kids and being like did you get this? She was right and Chad probably remembers it too for not very good reasons And it was like it was like if looks could have have lasered each other down and I was like oh dear like we're in the middle of this And you were frazzled about like details on the just sticks and we were exhausted.
Yeah both worked full time I still had you know not that I don't know but I mean like I was had career aspirations along with oh okay And then I'm in charge of making these little human beings and you know into these and vessels to go out into the world and getting your freakin shoes For bounce you It's not a good memory and I find this a lot but just in my coaching practice where you know women Typically like have these like these let me tell you about this time that I did this like we'll be going through an Anyagram assessment and they're like I'll tell you exactly how this relates and I'm like give yourself a break Yeah, that was 15 20 years ago except that I'm telling you about this and so I need to follow my advice But so those were the times that it was the hardest to connect just from physical exhaustion and guilt of not being around your kids Enough so your kids then you know should have your the disproportionate amount of any free time that you had it was Everybody needs to play soccer. No they don't. Oh whatever whatever we thought about that but we Probably when the older two then were in their young teens I think maybe even Devin probably was just like 11ish and Brady was finally in school on a consistent you know basis We started this Friday lunch and most Fridays for a long time. I knew what it was when it comes up on my Facebook memories I'll tell you okay, but we're talking longer than a decade that most Fridays we go to lunch together because Chad works on Saturdays and so I when I was at air products did a 40 work week so that I had Fridays and when that became a Institution I think we were creating an institution, but we did and that is and now Riley is also in the car business So he's off on Friday, so Riley joins And then last Friday he was working and so we just went and it's also good to just have that you know Yeah, and you now we can like talk to each other honestly at Many evenings of the week because they're they're doing their own thing But it's different like it's like we trained ourselves to have like those open air discussions at lunch on Friday So yeah spontaneously kind of happen.
I love that So when they're kind of what I'm gathering from the bouncy story and obviously like you should I do the same thing right I'm not I'm not a mom But you know I look back on even ways that like I might have treated my mom and like high school or something I'm like oh my god like I wish I wouldn't have done whatever so I get it But I feel like you're describing when they're younger when you're kind of in the weeds a little bit more and you're with them a lot more That it's tends to be the harder times I think so and I think if you work then you have the the the guilt of okay when I'm not working Then I should be mamaing or adding and so it just doesn't leave time to do Anything for yourself as well as then anything to nurture your relationship as a couple Yeah, and that's a perfect segue because I was just asking you before we started But you're you are a self-owned business woman. Yes, can you describe what you do? Yes, so I am an executive coach and team development I'll say expert because people pay me to do it and you're a freaking expert like sometimes people are like I'm an expert But you are you are so I work Predominantly with corporations where I might go in to do a team development activity I work with high potential individuals in a company where you know someone looks and says we really think this person has a lot of Potential they could sit in RC sweet someday. Let's give them a coach and people who are Under the age of 50 really I was about to say 45 But people are incredibly comfortable with coaching in a way that previous generations were not it used to be that I was in air products if we said hey, we're gonna get your coach.
It was what do I right? I have to fix right and this is these are not there are times where I work with people who need to fix something Or they need to be made aware of something that they need to fix but most of the time it is about maximizing potential And that's really cool work to do because there's you know, I can't really corn you about it We're all like these incredible vessels of uniqueness and I think too often in these organizational structures profit nonprofit People think that they have to like water themselves down And so when they learn a little bit more about I do 360 feedback like what is it that really makes you unique and what makes you stand out and Most of the time what makes you really unique and is a really great strength if we don't watch it It can also become your liability And so you know just doing that work with people and opening their own eyes to see how amazing they are and the potential They have and really step into themselves is yeah, that's what I do What made you want to do that? So I grew up in Central Pennsylvania, all right and Everybody in Well, so my grandmother was a nurse. She was director of nursing at a nursing home.
She eventually live in that nursing home Then right so that's like a full circle experience My mom was a nurse who then went into like case management and social work and my sister I guess from an earlier point my sister is also in health care and maybe my mom thought that Jen had this potential and she was worried About me, right? We needed a really like practical job. Oh, it's like the key interesting my mom said You know really wish you would think about health care because people are always gonna die and they're always gonna get sick and that was like A million times you can always count on death Perfect But it was also incredibly practical like you know you don't want to have to worry about I think you know Warrior right I want you to be able to have this this steady career progression And so I remember being in grad school and starting to do some of this work and then I get out into the work world And I call her and I say good news people are always gonna have issues with each other. Yeah, I'm good I and I you know doesn't come up probably comes up like once a year But and I just had this meeting two weeks ago with a boss that called me for something significant that was happening with a direct report And it was one of these experiences like we were talking about before where the stuff that happens in real life is actually pretty pretty juicy Like you could put it you could button up a couple things and throw it on the screen and I would watch it on Netflix So this was this was one of those and I just started laughing I said you know we don't know each other well I said I gotta tell you though my mom would love this conversation because it means I really still have jobs to show So you ignored her and you didn't go like you Okay, and I have not a good thing about something that I think people Genuinely appreciate about me is I'm very empathetic.
Mm-hmm. However, it's it's it's not in the right proportion a lot of the time And I would not be an effective vessel of caring and health because I just be in somebody's room like wait a minute No, this is you know, yeah, and I'm not good with blood and not you know So you just know you're like no not for me. What did you go to school for? So what's it?
I actually was a journalism major with a speech communication minor, right? And then I wanted to be Kate I had to kind of you know hone some things, but by the time I was a senior I had figured this out The unfortunate part was in that practical orientation. I needed to graduate Mm-hmm, so I graduated I went to the American Red Cross where I worked in nonprofit public relations because that's what I wanted to do Yeah, and I remember my dad calling me one day and saying, you know I think it's great what you want to do But you should actually need to shoot for living above the poverty line if you want to help people who and I was like, oh, yeah That's good. So I went back to grad school and then that's from there You know, this all this all took off But it was in my sights.
It just was a little too late in the education process at undergrad to make it happen Well, I think you are walking in your calling because basically what you're doing is lifting people up And I think that's something that comes very naturally to you. I think it does too. So thank you. Do you uber?
Yes, I feel like you're one of those uber people that you're getting out of the car and you're like I hope your grandma's feeling better by tomorrow. Give me a call some time. Are you one of those? Well, so I try I have tried to restrain myself as I've gotten older and one of the things is not too embarrassed My children to death because they will tell you stories about oh, well, remember when we were at the airport and then blah, blah You know all that kind of stuff, but I do have some friendships that have sparked that way But it's also to protect myself a little bit because I'll walk out worrying about the uber driver that told me that his grandmother was sick And it would be stalkerish for me to say hey, can I have your contact information to ask about your grandmother?
And people will say to me, you know, like a client that I haven't talked to in five years and I'll say yeah Whatever happened with your daughter and this like how do you remember that and as I age is very genuine for me to say I have no idea because I can't even remember if I took two of the pills that I'm supposed to take last night before I went to bed So hard to do that. I know and so it there's something in terms of the way it all works that I am naturally programmed in that way. I've just tried to a little bit more discernment so that Jill can remember how many pills she took last night And whatever happened to the client's daughter from five years ago Well, I understand that balance, but I don't think it's a flaw that you care so much Okay, this is an interesting oh really quick. What advice would you give to someone who wanted to start their own business?
So you were interviewing Veronica. I think you asked her this question and she said yes She said just go for it and I was like oh, that's good. Well that I could have had that as my answer I would I would actually temper that so what I advise people on is If you are if you have a day job and then you think oh gosh, I think I'd love to do this start this business We used to call it moonlight. I didn't even call it that anymore Right, you know your side hustle but go start it do it like have some small way of experimenting with what you want to do And what it would take to actually do it and start to get work lined up so that that transition is just Easier for you to do so it is just do it It's you know don't sit around and wait for the perfect day because the perfect day isn't going to exist But do it with a practical edge.
Oh can ball now like if you are going to be on my screen with Tommy You were doing exactly the right thing because here you are Right, or maybe you're gonna take over and substitute for Glenn and because Brady homework thought that you were going into oil That's the best combo I'm not even able to fit out of this house because my head is so big Brady homework thought we'll talk about it in a time Okay, this is a this is gonna be a weird question, but I was curious because I know you're such a proud Penn State alumni And I don't know if you know this but my parents went to Penn State That's where they met so I grew up going to Penn State football games We had a motor home you were like you were in it. Oh we slept in the Walmart parking lot on Friday nights I would wake up in Bieber Stadium I wouldn't even know like that we had driven and I would just wake up in the tailgate parking lot and My parents would use me as like a mule to bring beach balls in I would like hide them under my shirt and then we would blow them up and like put the beach balls all around Yeah, so it was like a big Penn State So I'm asking you this question as a fellow Penn Stateer, okay? Because you're such a proud Penn Stateer in recent years when the college has faced controversies. How did you reconcile that?
Personally, so I have to tell you this is I had a moment last week Oh, like this is probably something to go. Is there anything you don't want to you know? so here's the moment I'm actually really happy that you asked me about this because I had it was a complete moment of I was embarrassed it was distant like I was just like I never thought about it in this way And one of the things that I think is really important for the work that I do is for me to be as clean as I can We're all walking around carrying biases. We're all walking around, you know with things that just go unchecked And so the Penn State thing right is oh gosh, it got at me and it's to be specific.
We're talking about Jerry Sandusky and Joe Paterno and yes, okay, and so So specifically as it like I would have been out in front of the Center County Prison like you know You know would you like me to fire? Right like that to me was Was horrific and I had no empathy for anything that that man put individuals through but I had I had these moments around Joe Paterno Right because he was such an icon and because you know Chad will talk to you about like riding his mountain bike past his house I'm like being like hey coach and he still walked and very accessible and My when my grandfather was being treated for cancer Joe So whether or not he was also being treated for cancer He would show up in the same location and you know like there was just he he was a part of your lives So here's a here's a funny part of what I'll tell you okay? Riley when he was in kindergarten had Kelly Stout who's also a huge Penn Stateer and Riley when he was drawing a picture of something said well should I put grandpa Joe in the picture and Kelly assumed Four months that we were related to Joe Paterno No, like well, that's just how deep the brainwashing went. Okay, so So so last week I had a moment with a friend about the Epstein files and whether If you are in the Epstein files, we were talking about Peter Tf You're in there 1800 times does that mean that you're a pedophile or not and I just a casual Tuesday conversation in America Perfect and I you know I get pretty impassioned about this and so it's 1800 times right and to some extent okay fine Like if I don't know like can you be diagnosed with that?
I don't know but does it matter because he also was around people that he knew right and so I really go hard on this like Who you're in the company of speaks volumes and I don't care who's in there and there you know I was I was a huge Bill Clinton lover and so obviously I've been through a lot in my life Yes, and there's nobody left for Gen X to look to and be like oh no But it feels in right it feels in there to the extent he put him right in that have him and Donald be in the That's just where I'm at with you know with the whole thing, but as I'm like Hitting on this point. I just have this Joe Paterno moment You were like that just give me chills And I didn't say anything because I needed to contain myself in this conversation ended as suburban women do like in a nice way where they're like So I'm driving to the next thing and in the parking lot I was like wow so you just use that as an argument yet you would have Distinguished Joe Paterno and said well it was just a different period of time and what maybe he didn't know fully But he was in the company of something that had to have his gut go off and so yeah That was kind of a bummer, but that's but honestly I saw this meme where it was like it's it's such a sign of intelligence To change your mind and to say when I was in that space and what I was thinking versus the way the world has moved now Yes, there's no shame in acknowledging that yes And I like I said I only feel comfortable asking you because I grew up my parents loved Joe Paterno There was a picture of my parents with him and we have like a Penn State themed basement and they were it was almost like grief They were really heartbroken. Oh, this wasn't I know this was and this was someone who had you know Like played by the right rules over his team to the detriment of national championships and glory and you didn't have your name I'm like all of you there and but it's also the complexity of who we are as humans that we can do very very good things And they're also and you know so you can have a day where you were like well Joe Paterno like I would go nuts when they would stop people on the street Like Jimmy Kimmel or somebody would say who was responsible for the Penn State scandal and people would say Joe Paterno And I would like screen back at the TV it was Jerry Sandusky right and Jerry Sandusky did commit those crimes right? Joe Paterno was in the presence of Jerry Sandusky right?
Yeah, yeah, thank you for answering I know it's a weird tough but we're like motherhood business Yes, and I you I told Chad about my cathartic moment, but I haven't told anybody else so you just got it fresh Thank you so much. Okay. Um, sorry. I am bouncing all around Okay, well this kind of goes with what you were just talking about but in motherhood in life in business and anything and I asked math this question When you're faced with a tough decision, what morals do you internally lean on the most?
Wow No pressure Okay Yes, so clearly you've had you know some moments around organized Years but at the end of the day like that is that is part of what makes me who I am yeah It is when there is chaos that's on the screen It's to me it just waters down really easily of like well hello like this is what love your neighbor as yourself Or you know I so I would say that spiritually I probably go to that place first. I'm also You know integrity is everything to me And I have a really hard time moving on if not if somebody has a lapse in integrity and they're willing to own up to it because I think that's also part of the maturity process and the number of decades we live we probably have a moment or two And if somebody's able to see that and ask for grace or forgiveness make themselves different after but but if not like my biggest thing with the leaders that we see You know that we're exposed to today is that inability to say I made a mistake right right right I didn't see the whole video I made a mistake. Yeah, I didn't make a mistake somebody else didn't make me watch the whole video Like these moments where I could just like you peel me off of the ceiling Yeah, and and that's if you want to do if we want to pivot back to motherhood that is what is so incredibly hard about raising kids today Because it's not and by the way, it's not limited to a party I don't I don't look to anybody who is consistently on my new screen and say Right because even those people I am a Joshua Pirofian, right? And I think he's carved out this this space But there are enough people carving out a space that to me should be easy enough to step into because they're such a broad deficit do you try so I never knew that you were a Well, you called yourself a Jesus lover, but like is that something that you don't like to share with people or it just doesn't like come up Or like why did I don't know this?
I don't know. So I am so I am big with You know, especially from a well from a social media perspective, right? If if we think back to I blogged for a number of years and if you if you went to those blogs you'd be like oh, yeah Yeah, it's all it's all in here. I'm not I am not advocating for religion But I would advocate every single day.
I mean I have an uncle who's a minister You know we grew up in the church and like I said organize religion It's like a whole other what's your what's the nomination? Mathis? Oh, okay. Yes, but So, you know in terms of am I wearing it on my on my sleeve?
Maybe I'm not maybe I'm not doing that enough like I know this is sounds like a goofy thing But my Instagram stories like I think if you would survey my Instagram stories. Yeah, I And I try to walk this fine line in terms of that with when I'm on Instagram I'm there as the kids mom as well as I am myself, right? So but I also am pretty consistent with like oh my goodness like I just need a 23 or old male or 22 You know what I mean like kids friends where I'm like are they are they okay with this like are they they stop paying attention? And and would they think about this if this came across theirs, you know, right?
Because I watch them all in you know, of course in their own so Yeah, but I guess that's my answer. Yeah, no, I was just curious And I feel like I already know the answer to this but does it bother you when you feel like people use the Bible to justify certain Yeah, and that's the thing where So some of the of the most frustrating experiences that I've had as we become more divided as a country are that You know what what would religion say or what would you just say nobody says what would you just say that? Because like come on do you know what she's gonna say? But if you want to talk about religion sure like maybe you can say that religion could could justify what you know Whatever your experiences, but the other part is that with the work that I do I know what good leadership looks like And so I've had a lot of people try to explain to me about Bold leadership or being a really good business person or things that actually I Are not true underneath the surface But I could also argue point for point about what a good leader does I could talk to you about how a leader would have been fired by their board time and time again for behavior that we Accept somehow every single day and so it is like I could step on my soapbox so easily And I have for eight years and they're just as falling on death years You're so multifaceted Jill Helmer, which I knew but I mean I just I love that okay one last question that I forgot to ask you about Well, actually I'm gonna ask you two more One of my friends that has young children She wanted me to ask was there ever something that you spent a lot of energy worrying about when they were little that looking back?
You realized it was all okay Had a pacifier for a lot longer than he should have really also He would scoot around on his butt. He did he walked late Okay, and he would it was it was really adorable And we all thought it was adorable and that became an issue because then we enabled it He also had two siblings that would pick him up, but he would like and I was a scooter I was a late walker, but I like I would scoot with both hips He only scooted really by putting more pressure on one than the other So we ended up doing like OT and all this kind of stuff because it went on on for too long And I remember then at the time of OT being like, oh, what were you doing? Like you thought that this was cute or funny, right now you're here and I guess what like fine It's all good. It's all good and there are a million moments like that or you know a fight with a friend where you are like oh gosh, you know You're trying to coach in terms of right Maybe if you said you're sorry or if you blow this up or if you make this bigger and They are very human in the process And so maybe they do make it bigger and and you just have to sit here and like you know But you're tongue and watch and know that it's you know, it's their experience and that it really it's all okay in the end They're so resilient kids are so resilient.
They have to you. They have to screw up. Mm-hmm. Oh That must be so hard Okay, last question.
What are the biggest lessons that your kids have taught you? Mm-hmm. Oh wow, that's good. That's good Um, just realize there's both on this glass.
That's a better glass. Okay, I'm gonna listen to you just tell her you're using a nice This last I love it. Um Wow so Riley has an expression that he'll use with me and he'll be like mom. It's not that deep and That's just not anything that's ever been in my experience Everything's deep.
I love the grapes of rap and symbolism and every single right and so you know what there are times that I say that to myself Yeah, you know Joe It's not that deep and so that's it that is and Riley has a great way about him He's just like an easygoing kind of personality and to finally there's probably a lot And so it's good for me to remember or you know, there's a great expression about not just don't take yourself so seriously, right? And that's always good to you know, if we're in there You know Devin Just I think I have always been someone who is goal oriented but in a yeah I'd like to do this someday kind of way and Devin is more of a you know in this time period This is what I'd like to see happen and and there are many moments when I just take a deep breath Or maybe she's right like it's like it's not that deep but she is She's gonna accomplish a lot and in her experience And I can't wait to see what that is because she she isn't like is easily Oh, it didn't happen this year. It'll happen next year. I was like, no, it's gonna You know, I want it and and it's amazing to see and it's amazing to see that grow in her and she came out of the womb That way we were just having Karen and I were having some funny discussions about Devin in the preschool classroom and Karen's son Jonathan Karen walked into the room and Jonathan was under the table and She said John why are you under the table?
And he said well cuz Devin told me that I should be here. Yeah And so you know, she was a born leader But to see her like come into her own and understand she's you know, like the work that she's doing at Penn State She's in charge of other people and probably to be a boss But also like a boss with empathy and a boss with oh, I hadn't thought about that mom I didn't realize that's a good point. Like maybe this is where this is coming from or this is just a natural term events And maybe I just have to allow for you know for some of that in my planning like she She will be an exceptional leader because she does have that driving determination She's got that vision, but I think she's got the annoying, you know tap on her shoulder of you know growing up in a place I'm at the tip for that to inform. Yeah, and Brady Halmer best the best I you know, he's taught me is to never see never or not like he has grown in ways that are Unimaginable to me he was he you know, so for the person holding the microphone the podcaster He only went to his like first like what you did like a movie night at the school and Brady went because miss potion would be there Remember he ran in and he saw you and he for being a third child He should always have been a lot more carefree and like hey see you later mom and dad too like you know just and and he wasn't necessarily that way But now he is and he's blossom.
Yeah, and so you know, you don't know how this whole thing's gonna turn out And that also just shows that with you know with with good nurturing somebody really can come into themselves Which I think that he has I love that. Thank you. Johamer. Thank you.
Thanks for being a guest Thank you to everyone who's listening and most importantly. Thank you to Bailey for being our emotional support animal during this episode She did it's nowhere, which was good. Thanks. Bye