Why are you laughing already? Because I don't know how this happens. Welcome to the people. Thank you.
For everyone listening, I never know when I'm going to be asked. Well, I'm going to be transparent with you. I had a while there where I read so many guests lined up. And I'm a bit of a lull.
Oh, cool. I have a lot. I'm your back. That's not what I meant.
I just meant people loved when you came on before, so we're actually giving the people what they want. Oh, that's very nice. And also I have a lot in the pipeline. So you're helping me, I don't know why I like stank into my chairs.
I was doing this. You relax me. What can I say? Anyways, how are you?
Great. How are you feeling? Has anyone ever experienced a migraine for two months straight? I don't know if that's normal.
But I'm currently going through that. Do you think it's directly affiliated to some of your chronic illness diagnosis? No, I don't. Really?
I don't know anymore. I just honestly, I don't know. It's a very weird thing. But I think there are a lot of migraines up there.
And I think I'm not alone. Yeah. So to those who get migraines, I'm really sorry. Do you want to describe your experience?
I mean, do people really want to hear about my migraine? Maybe people can relate. Oh my god. I don't know.
You know, just on my left eye, you can't really see very well. But it's been coming and going. Correct. Like it's not constant.
Correct. And then I went to the eye doctor to be like, am I not see or something? And then I got new glasses. Yeah.
And I can't see out of my glasses. Yeah. And the glasses were a very big experience, a long process. You know, I didn't expect, I picked my glasses out, I think you were going to be computer glasses.
Yeah. And so then I was like, oh yeah, I love these. These are fun, red glasses. And then at the end of my appointment, they told me I had to wear them all the time.
So I'm Sally Jessie Raphael 24-7. And I think I'm going to switch them out. Yeah. And I can't see out of them anyway.
So what difference does it make? Anyway, my migraine is boring. Let's move on. But the glasses were a big deal.
And then you, what's funny is the day you wanted me to pick them up, you were like, do you mind going to get my glasses? And I was like, can it wait? And you were like, no, I need them right now. Because I couldn't see.
And I was like, OK. So I went and got them. And then when I came back, you're like, yeah, I can't wear these. That's sick.
Then I was like, OK. I couldn't see. OK. I feel like I'm going to be a downer.
Why? I'm a downer today. No, I feel like you see a lot of funny things. I was here laughing.
I do see a lot of funny things. But recently, I have been really caught up in Isabelle Clee and Simon. Oh, God. I didn't even think of that when I asked this question.
No, this amazing person I follow on TikTok, she rescues dogs. She had a dog named Simon, which seizures they called him the dog with lightning in his brain. Very cute. But she had to say goodbye to him.
And she shared this story throughout her time. And we recently said goodbye to our dog, maybe like a year in a little bit ago. And I still cry every day about that. Like I still literally grieve Harper every day.
But it's been interesting because I'm watching this girl go through the same thing. And like everyone who follows her is grieving with her. And you're like, stop torturing yourself. Stop watching it because you just sit there and sob.
But then you really feel like I'm honoring Harper in some way by honoring Simon. Yeah. Yeah. Anyways, my TikTok is depressing.
But that can't be the only thing you see. It's everywhere. It hasn't been one time. Well, because you don't follow her.
It doesn't matter. Half of the things I see on TikTok are not. I couldn't even tell you who I follow. Oh, wow.
No, TikTok. I don't mean. What have I said recently? Have I said anything fun?
Well, you've been sending me a lot of ideas for like, house stuff. Trying to think what else there was recently. It's hard to say. At animals and girls.
Yeah. Yeah. I mean, are you on like the manosphere side of TikTok? Do you see like girls talking about?
No. Gay, gay, gay, gay, gay, gay. What do you mean? Oh, you only see gay people.
I see gay people. You don't see any hetero stuff? I mean, I do. I do.
But a lot of it is very bicoded, I'd say. Really? Yes. OK.
I have a question for the bisexual community that you represent. Great. Well, actually, it started because there's this girl on TikTok who's been talking about she has a husband, and her husband has a work wife. Ooh, I have a work wife.
I know. So I was thinking about this because Hannah and Paige were talking about it on Giggly Squad, how they're not OK with work wives and work husbands. Oh, interesting. But then I was thinking, do we have double standards?
Because we're a two female couple? Like, how would you feel if I had a work wife? Go for it, really? Well, I'm not going to disclose who my work wife is.
Well, of course. But I love your work wife. She's the best. I'd say my work wife is a ride or die.
Yeah. More so. But I think at work sometimes there's different levels of friendships at work. And I think that's just a level of saying, like, top tier.
This is my ride or die. I trust this person with everything. That's my work wife. I have a work sister, a work bestie.
Do you know what I mean? Yeah. Yeah. I don't want to work as I'm saying, like, you could have either.
I could. No, you're right. It is probably a double standard. I don't.
And my work wife is straight. Right. And she calls you her work wife? Yeah.
Interesting. You started it though. I'm sure. I think you started before you came out.
I did. I did. That's so interesting. Yeah, no, I mean, I don't know.
Subconsciously, you knew that you would have a wife not work. So I guess so. I don't know. Listen, I think it's more of a level thing.
OK. You know, for me. OK, they were talking about this guy who has a work wife who got he won a. I saw that.
The big the makeup basket. Yeah, he won a thing of why I saw makeup and gave it to his work wife instead of his real life. OK, so here's here's the thing. Yeah, unpopular opinion.
I'm sure. OK, tell me if it's a work event and you're like, I'm not going to have a use for this. But someone on my team will give it to someone on my team. OK.
But what if it's what if it was something you knew I would love? Or vice versa? What if I would go buy it for you then? OK.
But what if I was like, hey, by the way, I won this. I'm trying to give something that you love. I'm a weird bird, though. Like that wouldn't bother me.
No, no. I'd be like, that's a work thing. So good for your coworker, getting the work thing. Yeah, but I don't think it's about the thing.
I think it's the thought. Are you best by me? You know, it's not my love. Go to breakfast or something.
The breakfast. But no, I think I understand why this person probably did it. OK. All right.
He's probably a dude. I mean, I get it. He's probably a douchey. But there's probably a lot more that I don't know about this man.
He's a man. Yeah. OK. I was curious if that came across your TikTok desk at all.
It did. And I was like, OK. Yeah, you just think the girls are getting mad. I don't think everything needs to be taken so personally.
I mean, if the guys, if him not getting you a basket is what sets you off, I think there's a lot of shit that pisses you off already. And the basket is just the cherry on top. Yeah. Do you have any friends who you get confused about what they get mad about with their spouse?
What do you mean? No. Have you, has any of your friend ever told you a story and you're like, why would you be mad about that? No.
You always understand. I would say, like, my closest friends who confided me? Yeah. I think we all think rather similarly.
So I don't think similarly. Similarly. That's a tough one, Matt. You got it.
OK, but you OK, so sorry, I'm still on TikTok. You recently watched The Ultimatum, which is also going around TikTok a lot. I did. Tell me your thoughts.
Honestly, I wasted my time. And I couldn't see out of my left eye for a lot of it. So it was just a lot of listening, if I'm being honest. But I found it very toxic.
Can you agree that the guys are becoming more and more douchey? Yes, but the women are choosing really douchey men to bring on the show. Again, if you have to bring someone on a show to make a decision, the red flags are already there. You're looking for your out.
Like, hello? What you doing? Yeah. Like at least going to show it meets someone new.
Well, that's the brand your old baggage with you. Dump them. Yeah. Dump him.
OK. Got it. Got it. OK, well, what else is new?
What's going on? Currently planning a birthday party for my sister or 50th birthday party. Yeah, let's talk about this. So we're sitting in our room right now where it's filled with things we can't say what it is because she doesn't know what's happening.
She knows there's a party, but she doesn't know the details. Yeah. But there's so much shit in our room. And I am one of those people that if I don't have a clear space, I don't have a clear brain.
Our living room. Our dining room. Yeah, but any room. I can't function.
Right. I'm really struggling. Yeah, you struggle even when you know something's going on in another room that you're not in. Correct.
Which is interesting. I'm interesting. But like, I messed up. No, no, no, it's not messed up.
I mean, I feel that way about James is eating something. Great. I feel that way about like paint or big projects I'm working on. You feel that way about cords?
Feel that way about cords. I'm a particular for cords. Correct. I don't understand how people can just be out there raw dogging their extension cords in plain sight.
You don't really get see. Yeah. What are like, why would you do that? Don't you see it?
I really grind your gears. It really grinds my gears. I know it does. It does.
And I just leave it to you to do it. But anyway, there's all this shit in the room. And I can't function really. But here's the thing is for like my sister, who's the coolest person.
Yeah. And she deserves this. And how have you been coping with the things in our dining room? Not well, Veronica.
OK. Not well. But I just I know that she will be so thrilled. And so that's worth it to me.
Yeah. But I can't wait for to be out of here. Yeah, it's giving Christmas. Christmas.
Yeah, you get really stressed during Christmas towards the end when everything's there. You're like, I can't wait to be able to like clean back there. Things are down January 1st. Yeah.
Yeah. Here I can. But you've been compromising to put things up earlier. Yeah.
So Veronica, let's have that conversation. OK. When is it appropriate to put up your Christmas day core November 1st? Yeah, that's a little soon.
OK? That's just a little soon. I understand. And I checked it.
I'm seeing you where you are. Yeah. I think I knew you like mid November. Yeah, I don't know if you're seeing me where I am, but you're respecting where I am.
Well, Veronica would put it up November 1st and take it down February 28th. Yeah. I love it. That is ridiculous.
That is insane. I like the way it feels. I like that everything feels a little cozy or closed in. Like when we first take it down, I hate it.
It looks very bare. I get it. I get it. But I just can't imagine starting a new year with a Christmas tree up.
Yeah. And I also sorry to bring it back to my dead dog. But Christmas has a whole new meaning for me now because she died around Christmas. Yeah.
So it's very heavy for me. But that's why this year for Christmas, over Christmas, I want to go do a lot of cheesy Christmas things. I need to read. I know.
Read Christmas in my little bit. I like that. Yeah. E-M-D-R Christmas.
Wow. Yeah. Just tap it out. I hate tapping.
I know. Brutal. But no. Yeah.
Anyway, so Christmas. Mid November. And I'm looking forward to it. OK.
OK. But yeah. Yes. What are you going to say?
Oh, you mean the decoration? Yeah, but we're going to ease in. You know? OK.
We kind of did that last year. Like I think we did the Garland 1st. And then we took down the Garland last. And I put blue tasteful things up in January because you wanted a warm glow.
Yeah. And I get it. When we first bring the tree up, you let it breathe for a little bit. Yeah.
And I think we have tasks. I'm on tree. Every year fluffing it. And then I bring it up.
You bring it up. And we have a vintage tree from a grandparents. So it's very fragile. Yeah.
And then we have a cat who likes to climb the tree. Yeah. As they do. Oh, no.
We have so many. It's only so many. Well, I just mean as a lot of cats do. So it's a dick with the tree.
Yeah. But I love him so much. He's so cute. What are you?
Sorry. Circle me back to decor. Thinking of Christmas. What do you notice?
What do you first notice when you go to someone's house? The smell of their house. OK. I'm sitting here staring at our holiday candle.
We actually stocked up. Yeah. It's a marshmallow fireside. But back in the body works.
Right. Totally toxic. What is it? But I get migraines.
Could be. Yeah. No, we don't really light it. No, but still.
Fun fact, we can't light candles anymore because our cat has asthma. So we have to be the wax warmer. I really miss it. So I love him too much.
Well, of course. He did. Obviously, I love him more than lighting candles. But don't you miss it a little?
Yeah. Having that flame? No. That open flame?
I don't. Because a couple weeks ago, we came home from being out for six hours. Yeah. And our house smelled of gas.
Yeah. And fun fact, I've known this for a long time, but I'm going to put out this piece. Do not touch your cell phone. Do not plug anything in.
Do not turn on even lights. Get the hell out of your house. And then make your phone call to 911 or the gas company. Because a spark could whatever.
Yeah. So we're out of the house. But our cat, Renny, jumped off his stove and turned on the gas while we were gone. We're not 100% sure.
I don't know. But what else could it be? Because it smells right away. Yeah.
So we would have smelled that 100%. So I believe it was Renny. Yeah. Anyway, so that kind of stuff like flames.
And I'm not huge into that. I would overthink it. I think I feel like calmer. Well, lighting candles.
OK. I'm being real. Yeah. Anyway, I noticed smell.
All that to say. I know it's people. OK. But what about decor?
Like, what are you looking at? Are you taking it all in as a vibe? Or are you looking at specific things? I love a curated Christmas.
Not Christmas. I mean just a whole day. Oh, for. Yes.
I like a curated decor. I do. I respect that some people really love to just go to a Target or a TJ Maxx and get things that they love. And I think your house should be filled with things that you love.
But I think it should be curated. Like for us, it's just stuff we've gathered. Yeah. Real art paintings we've seen.
Antiques. I don't know. Just things that we've been given. I look around and I love everything in it.
Yeah. So I don't go like, oh, that live left love is giving to me. You really don't love a sign with a quote. For me personally, I don't.
But I love that people love that for themselves. Yeah. Sure. You do.
You do it to your house. Yeah. Sorry, I didn't mean to put you on blast. I just know that that's something you think about a lot.
I think about it for here. But I think it means something to people. So they do it. That's fine.
What would you think of like when you would come to my old spaces? Like my apartment. My apartment was so cute. It was so cute.
It really was cute. It was 10 years apart. Yeah, right. So it was very bohemian.
It wasn't curated really. It was that kind of Marshall's Hall, which was cute and fun. It worked perfectly for that. But I did look at some of those things and go, oh boy, what if she, like from there was a time when Veronica first moved in that she brought a pillow.
A freaking pillow. And it was like this very bright floral pillow. And I went into work one day. And I looked at my coworkers and I just started crying about this pillow because I was like, it is ruining everything I can.
Stop thinking about this ugly pillow. I don't even remember what it looked like. It was pretty bad. What color was it?
It was like bright pinks and bright fushes and bright teals and everything I'm against in my personal space. I felt it costed. Oh my god. I literally would go to work and think about that pillow.
I would go to bed and think about that pillow. What the? I am a person, Veronica. Was it just that earlier?
OK, but was it just? I think it was probably more so what it represented. It wasn't the actual pillow. It was pretty bad.
And you really loved it. And I was like, oh shit. I don't even remember it. So how could I really love it?
I think that's the thing I'm trying to say. When you're younger, you have a view of what your taste is, but you really don't grow into your taste until you're older. So when I would go to your apartment, I'd be like, OK, this is just the starting ground. This isn't really hushy.
Right. It's changed immensely. But it wasn't in the past 10 years. Yeah, no, I would say you definitely, when I first met you, we were rearranging furniture.
I've been rearranging furniture constantly. All the time. But even more so, like, colors. And you want to totally revamp it.
I would say now we're only revamping every couple of years, which is great. I'm a person, I guess. I think your house should be your safe space. And you're, I mean, I love being at home.
I would choose to be at home if I could. I just, I'm OK being here and I love it. Love, love, love. OK, but yeah.
OK, one last kill. Yep. For my friends, my anxious friends out there. Sure.
And their partners. Yes. What is it like to be a partner to someone who is an anxious thinker? What do you do to try and navigate that for yourself?
And what have been some ways that you've been able, are you laughing, been able to comfort me? So I think, even in the beginning of our relationship, I think a lot of your friends, my friends, knew me rather well, but would misread. I tend to be very, when it comes to reacting to things or to your anxiety or whatever it is, even keel. Like I don't feed into it at all.
And I think sometimes people can misread that as me being like, not caring. When really, I'm just not helping you feed the flame. I'm trying to like defuse the flame. And just reassure you that everything's fine and it's going to be OK.
It's very weird over on it because you are anxious about different things and you have more anxiety than I do. But when it comes to like big things, like gas leaks, this bitch is pouring herself a glass of wine. No. Yes.
And you're just like, oh, it's OK. And I'm like, my beautiful house. I love so much our space. Well, I don't get the cuts.
I get it, but you're just so chill about it. But so you say like you're anxious about very unique things. You're going to say silly things. No, I wasn't.
OK. Just more everyday things. Yeah, anxiety. People's reactions to things give you anxiety.
So why would I change my reaction to cause more anxiety? I wouldn't do that. I just stay very even keel. Yeah.
Well, I think the reason why I don't get anxious about when we're in a crisis is because I can't control it. I get anxious about things that I feel I could control. What you talk about in therapy a lot is inherently a little, it can be kind of selfish because it's like not giving the other person room to have their own feelings. I have my own feelings.
No, I mean, I mean selfish, not you. It's inherently selfish when you're anxious about how other people are reacting or responding to you because you're not giving them the room to just have their feelings and emotions. Do you know what I'm trying to say? Yes, I do know what you're trying to say.
Yes, I do. But if I'm in a crisis, if we're in a crisis, I can't control that no matter what I do. If our house is about to explode from gas, all I can do is try and get the cats out. You're much better than me.
I mean, I jump into action, but I am freaking out. You did not jump into. Well, yes, I did. I really, I was digging.
The first time, the first time. I was digging in the snow to make sure it wasn't our time. I think I didn't jump into action. Well, I'm outside in my flicking flip-flops, in the snow digging us out.
I was trying to get all of our cats one by one. I'm like, there we are. Taking on a task, OK? I was on the phone with 911.
But I did nothing. I did not say you did nothing. I jumped into action in a different way you do. But I get so anxious at the thoughts of our animals being hurt.
I can't handle it. I genuinely cannot handle it. And I'm so sorry to everyone. But human crisis, I'm way better at.
Right. I cannot do. Whew, I can't do an animal. Any type of animal being hurt.
I can't do it. Is it a trauma response? Yes. Yeah.
But it's not who you are. But no, I think it's who I am. But were you always thought we even as a kid? Like you liked rescuing bugs and stuff.
I love that. I still do. Yeah. Like you don't freak out when you see a hurt animal outside that doesn't belong to us.
I do. I do. Really? Because I feel helpless.
I always wanted to be the voice of the voiceless. I feel like you don't know how to help sometimes. You just don't know what to do when it sucks. Yeah.
Anyway, so you think you're dealing with anxiety, but it's not. It's just on a different level. So you need to give yourself grace. Because you're anxiety.
That's my point. And even when I'm thinking our house is going to explode, you remain level. Like I remain level. Next level.
Every day, anxiety. You do. You definitely do. Yeah.
And you, I will say something that you do really well is you let me spiral in an appropriate dose. And then you'll be like, OK, it's a dumb now. And you kind of like in a nice way. Oh, I was like, god.
No, I need that. If you said if you fed into it and you were like, OK, yeah, let's talk more about it. Where is that going to take me? You hear me?
You're like, nope, I'm not mad about that. Nope, not at all. And then if I bring it up again, you're like, OK, I've told you I'm not mad. And it's OK.
So you're talking about when you think I'm mad at you. Yeah, or like I'm still thinking about this or that, you will kind of be like, OK, I'm literally thinking about five other things. You're tapping. You're tapping.
Yeah, we ear tap if we've heard you. Yeah. Taking it in and like, yo. Like I got like I really understood what you meant.
Shared language. It's important. I feel like this has been a boring podcast. Why?
I don't know. I don't remember what we talked about. Here's the thing. All people want is something they can relate to.
So like I think sometimes podcasters go on and they're like, I have to tell a crazy tale or like I have to have the interestingest possible. When in reality, like people are interesting. Yeah. Well, I think you're hilarious.
Thanks. And I won't say anything specific. But in the mornings, you've already had your coffee and like all your stuff. Yeah.
I'm, you know, waking up to get shit done in two hours earlier than me, I would say. Yeah. Which by the time I've hit, so I wake up at eight, but the time it's 10, I've gone for a long walk. I've done this.
I've done that. So I get it. I'm like a wiggler to lie. And I'm ready for bed.
Sure. But by the time I wake up, you've literally had a full day. 100%. I've talked to my creatures outside.
Oh my god. You're jacked up. Brian is crying in the squirrel. I have Chester.
I'm calling my shit munch. Oh god. There's a new bunny out there now. Brian.
Oh my god. Brian. He's brought all of his friends. It's too much.
You keep telling like so anyways, it's part of the reason why you're like, I don't think I'm funny. And when I wake up and you're just like standing in the middle of the room, honestly being married to you, sometimes it's kind of like being married to a phantom. I don't think we have time left to talk about this. What the hell you mean?
A phantom. A phantom. I'm like, like, phantom of the opera. No, no, no, no.
I don't think you understand. I wake up. I open my eyes. You're standing in the middle of the room talking to me.
That is not every day, Veronica. Do not pay a picture. That's not true. Here I am.
Oh, I'm calling with you anxiety. Don't worry about it. You should be anxious about this. I'm not a phantom.
I'm phantom of the age. I'm coming. It just mean you like you. How can I put this?
Just appear. You appear. You're very fluid in your movement around the house. Like you're like you go from one room to another room and you're like sometimes you'll be talking to me in a different room.
And I'm all the way over here. I'm like a step. And I'm like I don't know what you're saying. But I swear like you could be two rooms over for me.
And you're like Veronica by the way I think we should be painting. This wall in October of 2028. And you like think I'm going to hear it. But you're over there.
I never say it that quietly. OK? It feels like you're in problems. It feels like a way to me.
You do have hearing problems. I do. Thank you for acknowledging. Of course.
I'm not like upstairs in the bedroom going hey Veronica. Can you hear me? Jesus Christ. I'm not.
I'm yelling at the top of my goddamn lungs. And you're still not hearing me. So yeah. OK well all I was trying to say is it feels like you move very like freely through the house as you should.
Yeah. Great. It's cool. That's weird.
I like it. It's because you can't hear me coming. It's not I'm not graceful. You can't hear me Veronica.
OK maybe that's really the crux. I think so because I walk pretty heavy. I don't think so. You deaf girl.
I think you're pretty. I'm like a. I don't mean to joke about being deaf. But like you know what I mean.