Vulnerability in relationships: listener question

We could talk and explore the ''THEM'' course for the rest of our lives. For me it always opens so much pain, grief, anger, resentment and of course shame.And the last one goes so perfectly hand in hand with the vulnerability of which you talk about in today's course video.Each time I faced painful feelings I tried to hide them in front of others, even the closest people in my life. It was and still is unbearable for me to show weakness to be seen weak. I was always the one who took care of others, comforted them, etc. I was in no position to ask others for help and allow myself to receive it.I guess this is still one of my biggest confusions in friendship relationships.Wanting them and pushing them away at the same moment.And when things accumulated I cry ... alone ofcourse :) How do you see crying in the role of healing? And also in a role of letting ourselves be or feel vulnerability?