Vulvodynia, Desire, and the Diagnostic Odyssey: One Writer's Journey from Shamans to Sex Toys

What happens to desire when your body becomes unpredictable?Sara Sturek is a writer and founder of Writing Shamelessly, whose essay "From Shamans to Sex Toys" is published in Women's Health magazine. She has lived with hormonally-mediated vulvodynia since she was 21, and she writes about desire, sexuality, and the diagnostic odyssey with an honesty and literary precision that's rare in this space.In this episode, Sara walks me through her full journey — from the first gynecologist appointment that sent her home with Advil and a bath suggestion, through months of worsening pain she kept trying to push through, to the pelvic floor PT who finally identified a hormonal component. We also cover the long search for answers beyond the physical: the Valium suppositories, the CBD lube, the Reiki, the shaman in New Mexico who told her she was abused in a past life. And we spend real time on what this journey did to her relationship with desire — the fear that slips in before sex, the dissociation during it, the moment she realized she was the only person in the gynecologist's office who cared about her pleasure. A sex therapist helped her find a new framework: starting over, lowering the heat, and extending herself a lot more grace.Whether you're still in the thick of your own odyssey or have been looking for someone to put words to what this does to your sexuality — I think this one will stay with you.In this episode:How Sara's vulvodynia started — and why it took months to realize something was seriously wrongThe hormonal component: going off birth control and what shiftedThe diagnostic odyssey — from Reddit threads to pelvic floor PT to a shaman in New MexicoWhat desire and arousal actually feel like when you live with vulvodyniaThe dissociation that happens during painful sex — and what helped Sara stay presentWhy her gynecologist visits kept glossing over her libidoThe "boiling pot" framework her PT gave her for understanding flaresWhat sex therapy added that physical treatment couldn'tWriting Shamelessly: Sara's creative writing consultancyConnect with Sara Sturek:Instagram: @sassyy_assEssay: "From Shamans to Sex Toys" — Women's Health: https://www.womenshealthmag.com/sex-and-love/a70848271/vulvodynia-sexual-dysfunction-personal-essay/ Website: writingshamelessly.comConnect with Mathilde:Instagram: @theworldstightestcommunity Website: theworldstightestcommunity.com• Email: [email protected]