Wait… did I just marry the wrong guy?!

QUESTION: Salaam, I have a question regarding this 'optimal spouse' thing. Can an optimal spouse be one that brings you closer to Allah through the difficulties you have to deal with due to them? As a reult of there behaviour/character? Or is it only if you are content with them and everything  more or less 'clicks'? What is the interpretation of an 'optimal spouse'? ANSWER:  For context, the sister asking this question has been married for decades and has a good number of children - some fully grown and some still young.