Wanted

Can you bend a bullet like Beckham? Sure you can. Our friend Jen Garcia returns to talk about the misogyny that is Wanted. Grab some peanut butter and rats, forget Tyler Durden, get a robot bullet and listen to Paul’s Morgan Freeman impressions. As Jen described the film, “a back-to-back string of ‘wouldn’t it be cool if’ moments.” Enjoy the show as we audition lots of closing taglines. Find this frown-y film for your own eyeballs, if you dare. The trials and tribulations of finding a domain name not taken are discussed. It reminds us of an old SNL skit Paul calls this film The Matrix by Michael Bay. The writers of this film wrote the sequel to The Fast and the Furious and 3:10 to Yuma? Peter Bradshaw’s spot on review of this film. This film was only beat by WALL-E? Jen tells us that James McAvoy wasn’t the first choice for the lead. Paul says the film is a mix of blood and Thomas the Tank Engine crashing. Chris wants to cut Morgan Freeman from this movie into Bruce Almighty. Is this movie trying to do callbacks to Office Space and Mimi from The Drew Carey Show. This is the gruesome and ‘utterly ridiculous’ scene we keep talking about (a gun through a human head). They tried to bend bullets on Mythbusters. Hey everyone, the Loom of Fate is just the ASCII code. Huh? Why bend bullets when you can shoot around corners with a fancy gun? Jen and Chris agree that Crank is a much better ridiculous action film. We get into the geopolitics of the climate crisis and fast fashion because of the Loom of Fate. Paul suggests that our hero use his powers for good in the office, and bend paper, like in this 80s production logo. Paul says this movie is just Tomb Raider 3 for Angelina Jolie. The film has a twist within a twist and we wonder if M. Night was a production assistant on this movie. Paul hypothesizes that the Loom of Fate uses TC/IP to deliver the names. Jen says you have to unplug the loom and wait 15 seconds before plugging it back in. A character missing from the film that was in the graphic novel is someone made of excrement. Paul says his brothers went to see this film and all they remembered was Morgan Freeman saying, “Otherwise..” Watch A Knight’s Tale instead, says Paul. Jen says King Arthur was okay. Paul thinks this movie forfeits the Bechdel Test by not even having more than one woman on the screen at any time. Paul wanted this film to go full parody like Tropic Thunder. We have no idea what “video” Chris wanted to share with Jen and you listeners, so enjoy some Dolph Lundgren facts. There you have it. A film you should avoid, Unwanted. Thanks to you for tuning in and listening. Thanks to Paul for recording and our amazingly fun and hilarious guest, Jen Garcia! Like a bad sequel, we will be back sooner than expected. Support Film Frown on Patreon