Wanting To Want It: Desire After Birth with Dr. Emily Spaeth

You're cleared at your six week checkup, but your body doesn't necessarily get that memo. If you're missing closeness with your partner, can't locate an ounce of desire, or wonder if something is wrong with you, this episode is for you.In this solo episode, Dr. Emily Spaeth breaks down the physiology and psychology of postpartum desire, why low libido after baby is not a personal failure, and what you can actually do about it.What we coverThe hormone crash. Why the drop in estrogen and progesterone right after birth (and the effects of prolactin, oxytocin, and testosterone while chestfeeding) directly suppress desire and arousal, and why that's chemistry, not a reflection of your relationshipThe dual control model. Introducing the "accelerator and brakes" framework for the nervous system, and why low desire is usually a brakes problem (stress, sleep deprivation, feeling touched out) rather than an accelerator problemResponsive vs. spontaneous desire. Dr. Rosemary Basson's circular model of sexual response, where willingness and closeness come first and desire shows up after arousal has already started, not beforeArousal nonconcordance. Why your body's physical response and your felt desire don't always match, and why that's normal, not dysfunctionTouch saturation. Why being "touched out" by the end of a day with a baby is real and valid, and doesn't mean you don't love your partnerPractical tools. Talking to your partner before baby arrives, building a "secret language" or signal system for initiating intimacy, and why lube and time (and possibly a vaginal estrogen cream) matter for the first postpartum penetrative experiencesThe big reframe. Postpartum intimacy isn't about finding your way back to how things used to be, it's about building something newFree workshop: Sex After BirthWant more support with this topic? Join the free Sex After Birth workshop.When: Thursday, August 20th, 12–1pm (and check for future dates!)Who: Open to birthing bodies pregnant or postpartum, and partners, too!Details and future session dates: bewellbaby.org/sex-after-birth-classRelated episodesSex After Baby, with Crystal GuardLoved this episode?If it helped you, send it to a friend who's pregnant, postpartum, or supporting someone who is. And if you have a minute, leaving a review helps other families find the show.Connect with Be Well BabyInstagram: @BeWellBabyPDXWebsite: bewellbaby.org