Water Your Garden episode artwork

EPISODE · Apr 7, 2026 · 1H 49M

Water Your Garden

from Finding OK - Healing After Sexual Assault and Abuse · host Hecate

Water Your Garden with ThiccSparkleButt: Leaving a Religious Doomsday Cult, Reclaiming Voice, and Naming Rape by Deception. Hecate of Finding OK talks with poet and Twitch streamer, ThiccSparkleButt, about her healing journey. Thicc talks about growing up in a doomsday religious cult and how it damaged her family relationships, established poor boundaries, stifled her identity, and lay the groundwork for patterns of abuse in her life. She shares her journey through abusive relationships, coercion and deception, claiming identity and autonomy, and finding support. Therapy (including EMDR) and supportive Twitch spaces helped her reclaim her voice, streaming, and creativity; it helped her improve boundaries, grieve lost friendships, and speak publicly about rape by deception. Thicc encourages survivors to remember that healing isn’t linear, and to remember to “water your garden”. TW/CW: Religious trauma, cults, suicide, abuse, PTSD, sexual assault, coercion and deception, substances, and strong language. Episode Notes: Thicc on Twitch: https://www.twitch.tv/thiccsparklebuttTherapy for Black Girls: https://therapyforblackgirls.com/ Finding OK: https://www.finding-ok.com/ Hecate's Links: https://linktr.ee/FindingOK Support the Podcast and become a Patreon member! https://www.patreon.com/CrossroadsCrowStudios Finding OK is funded entirely by generosity of listeners like you! https://www.finding-ok.com/support/ Music is "Your Heart is a Muscle the Size of Your Fist" used with the personal permission of Ramshackle Glory. Go check out their music! https://open.spotify.com/artist/0qdbl... Timestamps: 00:00 Traumatic Two Step Poem 02:12 Podcast Welcome and Guest Intro 04:40 Trigger Warnings and Support 05:51 Icebreaker Questions and Self Care 11:57 Growing Up in a Cult 17:16 Leaving and Family Fallout 23:47 Realizing It Was a Cult 28:50 Controlling Relationship in Atlanta 32:38 Podcast Friend Turns Abuser 45:32 Deception Is Not Consent 46:26 Aftermath and Reclaiming Voice 49:46 Therapy Journey and Healing 53:40 Twitch As Healing 55:22 Reclaiming Streaming 58:41 Leaving The Ex 01:00:39 Reclaiming Poetry 01:03:32 Naming The Assault 01:06:17 Speaking Out Online 01:10:59 Friends Need Boundaries 01:19:08 Forgiving Yourself 01:25:31 Race And Therapy 01:33:40 Grief And Being Undeniable 01:39:42 Inner Child Strength 01:42:53 Advice And Farewell 01:45:59 Credits And SupportSupport the show

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Water Your Garden with ThiccSparkleButt: Leaving a Religious Doomsday Cult, Reclaiming Voice, and Naming Rape by Deception. Hecate of Finding OK talks with poet and Twitch streamer, ThiccSparkleButt, about her healing journey. Thicc talks about growing up in a doomsday religious cult and how it damaged her family relationships, established poor boundaries, stifled her identity, and lay the groundwork for patterns of abuse in her life. She shares her journey through abusive relationships, co...

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Water Your Garden

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This episode was published on April 7, 2026.

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