We Agreed to Disagree About White Culture. Here's the Fourth Way

Send us Fan MailLast week, Jonelle and Karen ended in a stalemate over whether white people have a culture. This week, they finish the conversation and land somewhere hopeful. The breakthrough is a distinction: white culture is the dominant, often invisible set of social norms we were built inside, while heritage is the specific, nameable story of where your family came from. Confusing the two is how white people end up either glorifying a sanitized 'small town' whiteness or reaching for someone else's culture to fill the gap. The real answer, drawn from Beverly Daniel Tatum and Ali Michael, is the fourth way to be white: an antiracist white identity that is neither pride nor guilt. You name the default, drop the shame, claim the lineage of white people who resisted racism, and build belonging through chosen values and heritage told as a story, not as a claim on cultures that were never yours. Karen shares how the safety of her Chicago suburb was built on other people's backs, and Jonelle connects bell hooks’ on consuming the other to the cornrows debate from last week. They close where Toni Morrison left them: if you take racism away, are you any good? The fourth way is how you answer her without flinching.CALLS TO ACTIONCatch yourself this week the next time you reach for someone else's culture as a spice, a hairstyle, a phrase, a ritual, and ask what void you were actually trying to fill.Tell one heritage story about your own family as a story, not a claim. 'My grandmother went to a German Lutheran school' instead of 'German culture is mine.'Pick one piece of the fourth way to practice: talk about race openly, learn to spot a system, or build one real cross-racial friendship that is not about your own growth.We would love to hear from you! Contact us at [email protected] Link: https://www.whitewomenwakeup.com/community-surveySupport the show