We Are Not Prisoners to Our Pasts: My Story of Moving from Addiction to Recovery

Can you actually recover from sex and love addiction, and build a life you’re proud of? Host Dani Raschel Chou says yes, and this week she tells her own story of living as a high functioning addict. After years of asking guests to be honest about the hardest parts of their lives, Dani hands the microphone to friend of the show Jeff Mercier and takes the guest seat herself.Dani Raschel Chou is the host and producer of With Hat and Cattle, a Dallas–Fort Worth podcast built on honest conversations with people who’ve put in the miles. In this episode, she shares that she is a recovering sex and love addict, and explains why that experience is the reason the show exists.In this conversation: growing up in Freer, Texas, and the 1,200-calorie dieting trap of the ’90s; the high school hallway moment when attention got wired to weight loss; three marriages and the pattern underneath them; the 2012 journal entry that read, “If I don’t change my ways, I’m going to end up dead in a hotel room”, whick finally acknowledged the problem; the therapist who gave the addiction its name; seven years of the real, unglamorous work; co-parenting done right; meeting Bryan; and the bad cup of coffee that proved the work works. Told without graphic detail and without a tidy bow.It’s for anyone who has been told they are “just a” something, anyone carrying a past they think disqualifies them, and anyone who needs to hear that where you have been is not the ceiling on where you can go.Resources: Sex and Love Addicts Anonymous (S.L.A.A.) — free meetings worldwide, slaafws.org. National Alliance for Eating Disorders — free therapist-staffed helpline, Mon–Fri 9am–7pm ET, 1-866-662-1235, allianceforeatingdisorders.com. In crisis, call or text 988 or chat at 988lifeline.org.Chapters00:00 — Cold open: the journal entry00:30 — A note from Dani before we begin01:20 — Jeff takes the host chair04:00 — Freer, Texas: grass and central air07:00 — Childhood wounds and numbing the void13:30 — Dieting in the ’90s: the 1,200-calorie trap15:00 — The hallway: when attention became a drug16:30 — Married at 1819:00 — Losing 100 pounds — and the first affair21:30 — The second marriage and the chat rooms23:30 — “Dead in a hotel room”: the journal entry, in context26:00 — Six years, a separation, and a move to Dallas29:00 — Getting the label: sex and love addiction30:30 — Where was my kid? Co-parenting done right32:00 — The third marriage: “I’m battle-tested”35:00 — Women, shame, and double standards38:00 — Trading one addiction for another39:00 — “No, we’re not doing this”40:30 — The relapse42:00 — Seven years with the right therapist43:00 — What I chose not to share44:00 — 2021: running vs. DoorDash45:00 — Breaking the pattern48:00 — Meeting Bryan48:45 — The knife tattoo: “It’s not your job, it’s mine”49:30 — The three-minute reset52:00 — Honest from the first date53:30 — Faith, grace, and a kinder God56:00 — We are not prisoners to our past57:00 — When you can’t make amends58:45 — The woman at the well59:30 — Next week: the Rubin BrothersGuest Host InformationConnect with motivational speaker and DTM Jeffery Mercier on LinkedIn and follow him on Instagram.Find his episodes on With Hat and Cattle and listen now!Building a Personal Brand on Buzzsprout and SpotifyFraming the Future on Buzzsprout and SpotifyThat's the With Hat and Cattle promise: Bringing you stories from people who walk the walk and leave you better off for listening.Connect with Dani Raschel Chou on Instagram @withhatandcattle or via email at [email protected]. Subscribe to our YouTube channel for more conversations that leave you better off for listening: With Hat and Cattle I Hosted by Dani Raschel Chou - YouTube! Go to www.withhatandcattle.com to sign up for our mailing list so you don't miss weekly insights. Be sure to check out our affiliate links!