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Thank you, everybody! I'm just gonna say, I'm not gonna shut you down because if I were in the audience, I'd be just as excited because we have such a great show for you. Later on, we are going to be talking to David Byrne, the legendary musician and artist and founder of Talking Heads, in his honor. After tonight's show, we will be burning down the theater. But we want to talk to your head first, so give us a call. The number is 1-888-WAIT-WAIT. That's 1-888-924-8924. Let's welcome our first listener contestant. Hi, you're on Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me. Yes, hi. Hi, who's this? Hi, Lucy. Lucy, where are you calling from, Lucy? I'm calling from DC, but I'm French from Luxembourg. Oh, wait a minute. If you're French from Luxembourg, doesn't that mean you're Luxembourgian? No, that means I'm an expat. Oh, I see. And what do you do now that you're here in DC? I work for a very big organization that aims to end poverty around the world. Wow, that's pretty great.
Any schedule for that? Because you've been waiting. Well, we still want to have a job, right? Yeah, exactly. Right. Do it, do it, do it, but slowly enough that you can, you know, get your retirement. I get that. That's a good strategy. Works for everybody. Lucy, it's great to have you. Let me introduce you to our panel today. First up, she's a comedian you can see most nights performing live somewhere in New York City. It's Rachel Koster. Hi, Lucy. Thank you for your hard work. Next, he's a comedian you can see at Punchline Houston, November 5th through the 7th, and Punchline Atlanta, November 20th through the 22nd. It's Alonzo Boden. Hello, Lucy.
And making his debut on our panel today, he is a New York Times best-selling author whose pop culture commentary you can see on HBO, Hulu, and NBC. It is Rob Anderson. Hey, Lucy. Hi. I like your capitalistic approach to poverty. Well, Lucy, welcome to our show. You're going to play Who's Alzo this time. Alzo, Slade, right here, is going to read you three quotations from this week's news. If you can correctly identify or explain two of them, you will win our prize. Any voice from our show, you might choose for your voicemail. Are you ready to go? Yes. Okay, your first quote is from a woman on TikTok.
If you see a tech bro run for your life. So the tech bros may seem to be running the world right now, but it turns out they're having trouble finding what? Oh, I'm going to need a hint. Well, the person who said run for your life from tech bros was a woman. Women. Yes. Gates.
Okay. Girlfriends, dates, spouses, partners. According to a report in Wired magazine, it is becoming harder and harder for tech bros to find dates. Today's women are quick to reject them for no other reason than that they are the worst people on earth. The article says even their gigantic salaries are not enough to overcome sort of the tech bro stigma. Guys, just make up something about how you got all that money. No, no, no, no. I don't work for Anthropic. I embezzled it all from a children's hospital.
But I don't think I don't think it's easy for a tech bro to hide his job that little that little vest gives it away One of these guys this is true that in order to seem more attractive and nicer to the women he meets instead of saying he works in tech He says he works in AI dude. No, that's like saying. Oh, I'm not a murderer. I'm more of a serial killer If he's an AI guy, does he really need a live woman? I mean isn't isn't that what they're working on robots to replace them? Yeah, you may have a point imagine being turned down by the robot you created
Even the robots are like, yeah, no. All right. Here, Lucy, is your next quote. It is Missouri Senator Eric Schmidt in a hearing on Tuesday. You will go down in history as a total dirtbag. He was yelling at Jack Smith. That was the special counsel who had investigated whom? Your president? Oh, no, no, no. Don't rub that in. Don't be there. Wait a minute. No, no, no, no, no, no, no. Wait a minute. Uh-uh.
It may be literally true, but you chose to live here. Don't you dare. President Trump. Yes, President Trump. At a televised Senate hearing, Senator Schmidt accused Jack Smith back in 2024 of going to Atlanta to engage in a secret conspiracy against the president. The senator's proof? Texts about Smith going to an Atlanta Hawks basketball game on a certain date. Because who doesn't say, I'm going to take a secret flight to Atlanta to advance my evil conspiracy, and I'd also like to take in an NBA game while I'm there. Turns out that Senator Schmidt was confusing the Atlanta Hawks.
with the Iowa Hawkeyes. Jack Smith, on that date, was actually watching Caitlin Clark playing basketball 700 miles away. Nevertheless, Senator Schmidt said that couldn't be true because, gotcha, dirtbag, there's no such thing as women's basketball. So everybody, I mean, this went viral. It was all over the place. Did you guys see it, Rob? Did you see it? I saw a clip on TikTok and I think, Senator, I thought she was saying hot guys.
So wait a minute, so you were talking about the senator Amy Klobuchar, who corrected Senator Schmidt, and Scheinman said, no, I don't think he was saying the Hawks in Atlanta, I think he was saying the Hawkeyes, and you heard her say... But the way she said Hawkeyes, and everyone went, oh, she got him, and I went, Hawkeyes. But I was like on the same page, but on a completely different book. Yeah, at that time... Wasn't Caitlin Clark and the Iowa Hawkeyes, like, literally the most famous basketball player? Yes, she was. It wasn't hard to look up a reason to be watching the Iowa Hawkeyes. They had the greatest women's basketball player in the country at the time. It seems he would go to that game as opposed to the Atlanta Hawks, a team on which you couldn't name one player.
All right, Lucy, your last quote is from a woman responding to a debate that broke out this week on the internet about babysitting. That's as good as stealing. That was one of the many, many people who went online this week to say that babysitters should not be paid for the time when they're doing what? Um, holding the baby because this is such a sweet thing to do. That's so sentimental. The idea is for the babysitter that you're off the clock as soon as the lullaby ends. Oh, as soon as the baby sleeps? Yes, they believe, these people, that babysitters should not be paid or not be paid as much just for sitting around while the kids are asleep. This week, countless people went online to argue about this. How much should parents pay babysitters once the kids go to sleep? The idea is that the babysitter should not get paid for just sitting on the couch watching TV. What? That's the job.
So remember, okay babysitters under this new rule to make the most money just keep the kids awake until the parents get home By any means necessary, that's what I was gonna say, you know the babysitter just feed that kid candy Can you imagine the baby's nodding off and the babysitter like I don't have kids but I have a dog like now like I pay a dog sitter when I you know when I leave and I know my dog sleeps 18-19 hours a day I know, after she feeds and walks and he's done, but I wouldn't not pay her. Then they just, why wouldn't they just leave? Like, all right, kid, I'm off the clock. See you later. Exactly. Also, how did Lucy do on our quiz? Lucy did great. Perfect score, three out of three. Congratulations, Lucy. Thank you so much for playing and take care. Thank you.
Right now, panel, it is time for you to answer some questions about this week's news. Alonzo, question for you. Alonzo, more parents these days want their kids to have the same kind of experiences they had growing up, so they're taking their kids to playgrounds that are what? Unsafe? Exactly. Dangerous. Yes.
Toughen those kids up. This culture of overprotectiveness and obsessions about safety, it's making our kids too soft. Do you realize there are playgrounds nowadays without one single piece of metal to burn your leg on when it's sunny out? Terrible. So parents are taking kids to playgrounds that are designed to be dangerous, like a real one called The Yard in New York City, which has features strewn about it like hammers, a big old empty water tank, and this is true, used wheelchairs for the kids to play with. They get the wheelchairs from the people who used the playground last year and have healed up. Peter. Yes. That's just a project.
You know, when the cop slide went viral, the one in Boston, and then they shut it down the next day? Like, that is pretty safe compared to what things used to be. Yeah, a real slide is made of aluminum. Exactly. So when you slide down in the summer, you leave the skin on the slide. Helps the kids molt so they can grow faster. Coming up, our panelists find a great parking spot in our bluff. A listener game called 1-888-WAIT-WAIT-TO-PLAY. We'll be back in a minute with more of Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me from NPR.
Oh, Kevin, it feels good to be back. It sure does, Casey, and what a time. The world is talking about AI and what's going on in Silicon Valley, and we are here with a new show to tell you all about it. That's right, Kevin, on our new show, Machine Gods, twice a week, we'll be bringing you the biggest news in tech and bring you unmatched access to the real titans of this industry. You can find Machine Gods from NPR on the NPR app or wherever you get your podcasts. This is Terry Gross. Listen to Fresh Air for thoughtful questions, like when I asked Steven Spielberg about porn titles. When John Waters was on our show, he said his favorite was shaving Ryan's privates. Did you know about this?
No, not until this very moment. Listen on the NPR app or wherever you get podcasts. From NPR and WBEZ Chicago, this is Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me, the NPR News Quiz. I'm Alzo Slade. We're playing this week with Alonzo Bowden, Rachel Koster, and Rob Anderson. And here again is your host at the Studio Baker Theater in Chicago, Illinois, Peter Sagal. Thank you, Alzo.
Right now, it is time for the Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me Bluff, the listener game. Call 1-888-WAIT-WAIT to play our game in the air. Hi, you are on Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me. Hi, this is Morgan Overhausen, calling in from New Haven, Connecticut. Oh, I love New Haven. Spent many happy times there. What do you do there? Currently, I'm a small animal veterinarian here in downtown New Haven. Oh, okay. How small? Just your cats and dogs. You're not smaller than that. Really? Do you have like a minimum size? Do I have to be larger than something? Big enough for us to at least hold. I got this mosquito I need. Exactly. Well, welcome to the show, Morgan. You're going to play the game in which you must try to tell truth from fiction. Oz, what is Morgan's topic?
Parking garages around the world. Parking garages are everywhere, and although you may not know it right away, each one is unique as a snowflake. A boring, sad, concrete snowflake. This week, we read about an international parking garage that is shaking things up with an exciting new feature. Our panelists are going to tell you about it, pick the real one, and get the waiter of your choice in your voicemail. Are you ready to play? Sure am. Okay, first up, let's hear from Rachel Koster.
Business people in France have been arriving earlier to work than ever before since the implementation of new technology in a parking garage in Paris La Défense Financial District. As part of the parking garage's latest renovation, they got rid of all the stairs and added a bunch of fun slides. Employers at Société Générale remarked that their bankers have never shown up so early for work or with so much static electricity in their hair. The only downside noted stylish businessman Pierre Lafreu was that the slide gave him a wedgie. He did not let that stop him from sliding four times before work and sneaking in a couple rounds during his lunch break.
Unlike normal garages where drivers try to park as close to the exit as possible, people have been arriving early and fighting for spots on the top floor so they can ride down the longest slide, which has the most turns. Brooks Brothers is even releasing a brand new wedgie-proof suit just for enjoyers of the slide. You might be wondering how people get back to their cars, and so is the parking garage company. Hope you like crawling. A parking garage in Paris that replaced their stairs with slides to make exiting that much more fun. Your next parking parable comes from Robbie Anderson. In Lyon.
Finding a parking spot is no longer about availability. It's about alignment. Parking operator Stationment Ron Lumiere has drawn national attention after converting its downtown garage into a feng shui model. When drivers arrive, they're greeted by a parking intuitive, an attendant who asks them to step out of the car for a reading. The attendant circles the vehicle slowly, sometimes resting a hand on the hood, sometimes simply standing in silence. The vehicle is then directed to one of the almost 1,500 visually identical spots that possess differing energies.
Many people believe they drive a sedan, says senior parking intuitive, but the car knows. Sometimes it's carrying hatchback energy. It wants to open from the back, and it wants to be honest. The company says it made the switch after noticing that customers stayed longer in the pay-by-hour garage when their spot matched the car's personality. Some customers, however, point out that they stay longer because the vibrating can take up to two hours. A parking garage.
The parking garage in Lyon, France with Feng Shui experts will help you park your car according to its inner energies. And your last carport report comes from Alonzo Bowden. Are they shooting a cheese commercial? That's the strangest car alarm I've ever heard. Well, if you're in Austria, that car alarm or cheese commercial is part of the latest craze, yodeling in a parking garage. A parking garage offers the same perks as the high mountain, says yodeling teacher Anna Marie Gucci. I mean, yeah, the views aren't the same and the smells are worse, but it works. And it's really catching on. Students from everywhere love the energy of group yodeling.
Jamie Sohn from South Korea joined a class to experience the Austrian culture. Andrea Allen from Buffalo has newfound confidence thanks to yodeling, while her roommate is probably looking for a new roommate. Tom Button, a teacher from New York, says it's like group meditation. He likes walking deeper and deeper down in the parking lot, singing louder and louder, which sounds like a great way to practice yodeling or how to be the scariest murderer ever. All right.
So let's imagine you're driving around Europe and you go into a particular parking garage. Would it be, in real life, from Rachel, a parking garage in Paris, where slides instead of stairs to make getting out of the garage really fun, from Rob Anderson, a parking garage in Lyon, France, with feng shui experts to help you park your car in the appropriate energetic place, or from Alonzo Boden, a parking garage in Austria, which has become a home for yodelers to practice their mountainous art. Which of these are the real parking garage we found out about in the news? This is a tricky one. I'd also love to park in any one of these three, but I think I'm going to have to go with the yodeling. You're going to go with the story about the yodeling? Well, to bring you the correct answer, we spoke to an expert on the topic. Yodeling gets a bad rap, but I think it would be a wonderful thing to hear in your local parking garage. That was Alice Wallace. She's a singer-songwriter and yodeling instructor at the Old Town School of Folk Music here in Chicago.
Confirming that, yes, it's the parking garage in Austria where all the yodelers are congregating. Congratulations, Morgan. You got it right. You're in a point for Alonzo just for telling the truth. And you've won our prize, the voice of your choice in your voicemail. Congratulations. Thank you so much for crying, Morgan. Take care.
And now the game we call Not My Job. Back in the 1970s, David Byrne dropped out of art school, moved to New York, and started a band called Talking Heads. In the years since, he has won Grammys, an Oscar. He's been inducted into the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame. He won a special Tony Award for his Broadway show. He has created books and scores and theater pieces and artworks and a new immersive play that is being performed here in Chicago right now. All of which makes you wonder, what could he have accomplished if he had just gotten that art degree? David Byrne, welcome to Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me.
Thank you. Good to be in Chicago virtually. It's great to have you here virtually because in Chicago people can still see your play, your experience called Theater of the Mind has been running for months here with the Goodman Theater. I have been to it. I don't know if you'd even say seen it. I have experienced it. But I can't really explain adequately what it is. Can you? I can try a little bit. Okay. As an audience member, you're given a new identity and you go through with a group of 16 people and you're friends, you're acquaintances, you're workmates with an actor.
and you go through different rooms, and you experience kind of perceptual illusions of different things that make you doubt what you're seeing, what you're smelling, what you're tasting, what you're hearing. Yeah, but you skipped, I think, an important detail, which is that actor you mentioned who leads you and the other members of your small group is named David. Yeah, he left that out. Do you ever sort of come to, snuck into Chicago and just checked on it, come to see it yourself, gone through the experience? Oh, lots of times. Yes, yes. I've been a member of the audience. And do people, I'm assuming, they must recognize you. Well, maybe they do. Maybe they do. I don't know. I try not to pay attention to that. You think? You think? Yeah, go ahead. Yeah, because I'm trying to pay attention to, like, how's the actor doing? Is the actor kind of...
Is the actor selling these ideas? Is the actor selling this part? I'm just trying to imagine there's a group of you who said 16 people going through this thing over the course of about 90 minutes, and they're all, I'm just imagining, they're all standing there going, is that, is that David Perl? No, no, no, that's another actor. Exactly, this must be part of the concept. It's part of the show, yes. I'm thinking of the actor when he sees you like,
Oh, boy. Who am I now? Yeah, exactly. I was joking about it earlier, but when you quit art school to move to New York and pursue your own art and your music, did anybody give you grief? Were you like, David, you can't quit school. You're going to get your degree. No, quite the opposite. I showed a teacher the stuff that I was doing, the artwork I was doing. He said, we don't teach that stuff here. Really? Yeah, you should go to New York and try your luck.
Really? That's good advice. Apparently. Do you think that person was really impressed with you and felt you should put your work on the world? It was just trying to let you down gently. I could have been either one. Yeah, you're not going anywhere with this. I'm not going to say that. Even art professors know the degree is pointless. Exactly. Speaking of advice, we heard a story that when you were starting Talking Heads, the band, starting to perform in downtown stages, CBGBs, Lou Reed himself gave you some fashion advice. Is that true?
Well, yeah, yeah, yeah. He looked at me and said, I had really hairy arms at that point. Really hairy. I mean, I've seen photos. Now they're not. I don't know where the hair went. But they, he said.
You should never wear short sleeves. Wow. Body shamed you. I guess that explains the suit when you think about it. Your show American Utopia, which ended up on Broadway, earning you a Tony, featured you and the other performers, including musicians, in grey suits, monochrome suits, and bare feet.
Back when you were doing American Utopia, did you and your ensemble keep stepping on sharp objects? Actually, we were really lucky. Some of the band and dancers, performers said, ah, no, I'm going to put on some little fake shoes. Really? Back in the... Yeah, we had these little slippers that were colored according to their skin tone, and then I would go up and draw toes.
Oh, you want to wear them, huh? Well, they've got to look right here. They've got to look like you've got bare feet. I wanted to ask you one more thing before we move to our game. Famously, you are a bicyclist, a bicycle enthusiast, an advocate. You ride all over New York City on your bicycle. Does anybody in a car or a truck recognize you just as they're about to run you over and decide not to?
Yeah, the fact that they might recognize me, does that give me some protection? Exactly. They're like, oh, that son of a bitch, I'm going to go, oh, it's David. Oh, no, you can't run over a famous guy. You'll be the guy that ran over a celebrity. Yeah, you can't do that. You'll be known for that forever. No. Well, I can't say, David, what a personal thrill it is for me to talk to you. And there are more thrills ahead because we have asked you here to play a game we're calling Talking Heads Meet Walking Deads. Right.
That's right. We are going to ask you three questions about The Walking Dead or zombies. Answer two or three questions correctly. You'll win a prize for one of our listeners, the voice of anyone they might choose from our show. Also, who is David Byrne playing for? James Miller of Orlando, Florida. All right. Ready to go? I'm ready. All right. You may not have taken tests because, you know, you didn't graduate. So...
That's right. Might be new experience for you. Here's your first question. George A. Romero, of course, is the father of the modern zombie movie with his Night of the Living Dead and its sequels. Before he made his name with the brain-eating undead, what was his job? A. Directing short films for Mr. Rogers' Neighborhood. B. Performing as a street mime in Toronto. Or C. He was a night watchman in a mortuary with a lot of time on his hands.
Oh, I'd be really tempted to say Night Watchmen in a mortuary, but that's probably too good to be true. So I think I have to go with number two. You're going to go with Performed as a Street Mime in Toronto. No, he actually directed short films for Mr. Rogers. Oh my God. This is true. Before he made Night of the Living Dead, Mr. Romero made such films as How Light Bulbs Are Made and Mr. Rogers Gets a Tonsilectomy.
Two terrifying films. Absolutely. Still have two more chances. Although Night of the Living Dead, that early movie, made George Romero very famous, it did not make him rich. Why? Why? Well, that's the question. Why? Here are your choices. A, he lost his share of the profits on a bet he made in the 1969 Super Bowl. B, the distributor forgot to put that little Circle C copyright mark on the poster. Or C, he was successfully sued by the HG Bakery Company, makers of living bread.
I'm going to say the copyright thing, but... You're right. That's what happened. It turns out, if you don't put that little C mark on something, it's not copyrighted, so anybody from the moment it was released was able to show it for free. Okay, last question. If you get this right, you win. Since Night of the Living Dead, of course, created the genre, there have been countless zombie movies, including which of these? Which of these is real? A, Zombiever, about innocent campers attacked by undead beavers. B, Flight of the Living Dead, about zombies on a plane. Or C, Nudist Colony of the Dead.
Which is self-explanatory. Which one is real or which one is not real? Which one is real? Which one is real? The first one. Yes, Zombie Beaver is real. But as you probably guessed, all of them are real. Those are all zombie movies you can see if you're a completist. Also, how did David Byrne do on our quiz? Well, he passed this test. Two out of three. Great. Congratulations. That's all it takes. That's all it takes.
David Byrne is a Grammy-winning musician and one of the founding members of Talking Heads. His interactive theater experience, Theater of the Mind, is happening in Chicago right now. Come and experience it. More information is at theaterofthemindchicago.com. David Byrne, what a joy to talk to you. Thank you so much for being here. Take care. In just a minute, Alzo raids his granny's closet in our listener lyric challenge. Call 1-888-WAIT-WAIT to join us in the air. We'll be back in a minute with more of Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me from NPO.
I'm Kevin Roos. And I'm Casey Newton. And together, we've been tech journalists for decades. Now, we're your hosts of Machine Gods, a new podcast from NPR that makes sense of what AI means for your work, your life, and all of our futures. Twice a week, we'll be exploring the biggest moves in tech and give you unmatched access to the real titans of industry. Listen to Machine Gods from NPR on the NPR app or wherever you get your podcasts. This is Terry Gross. When I was celebrating my 50th anniversary hosting Fresh Air, I asked my guest, Roastmaster General Jeff Ross, to roast me. Terry Gross, a barely living legend.
Still at it? Listen to Fresh Air on the NPR app or wherever you get podcasts. From NPR and WBEZ Chicago, this is Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me, the NPR News Quiz. I'm Alzo Slade. We're playing this week with Alonzo Bowden, Rob Anderson, and Rachel Koster. And here again is your host at the Studebaker Theater in Chicago, Illinois, Peter Sagal. Thank you, Alzo. Thank you so much.
Thanks, everybody. In just a minute, Alzo reads us his journal. It turns out it's just full of limericks. It's our Listener Limerick Challenge. If you'd like to play, give us a call at 1-888-WAIT-WAIT. That's 1-888-924-8924. Right now, panel, it is time for more questions for you from the week's news. Alonzo Tombstone Pizza announced they're releasing a special October frozen pizza. It's pizza that's topped with pepperoni...
And what? It's a new pizza topping they're adding? Well, it's a topping that comes with this. It's a special Halloween themed pizza. Candy corn? Yes! Whoa. You know what's funny? You know what's funny? When I said Halloween and you went right to candy corn, all of a sudden I felt so terrible for what your childhood must have been. If I say Halloween and you think of candy and that's the candy that came to your mind, Alonzo. No, because that's the candy that's always in the news.
It is? Every Halloween, there's a controversy over candy corn. Is it good? Is it bad? What does it taste like? It has nothing to do with corn, this or that. Peter, it may not appear so, but I'm a bit of a news nerd, Peter, believe it or not. After 100 episodes, I thought you might pick up on that.
So it melts, I guess. Well, here's the thing. So you get the pizza, it comes with the pizza, with the pepperoni on it, and a little packet of candy corn. So presumably the idea is you bake the pizza, you take it out, you sprinkle the candy corn on it in the manner of... Parmesan. Exactly, or red pepper. Except it's candy corn. Have these people eaten food before? That's not gonna work. You don't sprinkle candy corn. Those things are heavy. It's more of a placement. Tweezers, that's what they do in the fine restaurants.
I'm not discerning about pizza at all. You could put anything on that. It could be cold, moldy, just kind of scrape off a little piece and it's still good to me. The candy corn sounds amazing. Girl, you are crazy. If I get dunked, I don't care. Am I going to get sick? It gives it an extra umph. Yeah, Rachel's like, it's not moldy, it's just an adorable little fur coat on my pizza. Rachel, this week we heard about a new concept called attention infidelity. It's when people in a relationship neglect their partners and instead spend all their time with what? Their phone. Exactly right. Oh, it makes me sick to think of.
I'm sorry to hear that. There was a pregnant pause there. I was expecting to get some kind of confession. No, I don't have a boyfriend to ignore. But if I did, I wouldn't, because what a gift to share your life with someone else, I imagine. And time spent in real life is time that matters. And time spent on your phone is time watching fruits cheat on each other because of AI. I was watching someone ignore their loved one on the bus while I was on my way here, and I was thinking about how sad it made me. But that's not interesting to talk about, so I'm sorry I brought it up. I think.
Can I bring up a somewhat related question? Why are we still calling them phones? That's a good question. It's like the least use, you know, I saw this whole thing about the new Apple folding phone or whatever. People like $2,000 for a phone? I'm like, no, $2,000 for a computer that folds up and fits in your pocket. Right. Like, they're not phones anymore. Well, if you call them something else, what would it be and how could you convince people to use that term? My life. My precious. See, Peter, you're trying to slip me into that tech bro role. Yeah, I know. I'm on to you, Peter. We got a vest fitting for you back in the back.
Coming up, it's lightning fill in the blank, but first it's the game where you have to listen for the rhyme. If you'd like to play on air, call or leave a message at 1-888-WAIT-WAIT. That's 1-888-924-8924. You can see us most weeks right here at the Studebaker Theater in downtown Chicago, or you can join us on the road. We'll be in Kalamazoo, Michigan, coming up on October 22nd, and in normal Illinois on November 12th. For tickets and information to all our live events, go to nprpresents.org. And if you love our show, but you wish it was only about eight seconds long, you can check us out on our socials at waitwaitnpr. Hi, you're on Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me. Hi, this is Rachel Simonson from Billings, Montana. Billings, Montana, a beautiful place. What do you do there?
I am a charitable giving specialist at a senior living community. Wow. So you work at a senior living community where seniors live? Seniors live there. And your job is to go around and talk with the residents about exactly how they should screw their children by giving their money away. Or, as I like to say, they can disinherit the IRS and make sure that the people who run out of money always have a home with us. Oh. Did she say disinherit the IRS? Yeah. I think what you mean is the money that you give to charity you don't have to pay taxes on or an estate tax or anything like that. It's not like the IRS offended you and you're cutting them out of the will.
Welcome to the show, Rachel. You, of course, are going to play our Listener Limerick Challenge, which means that Aldo Slade right here is going to perform for you three news-related limericks with a last word or phrase missing from each. If you can fill in that last word or phrase correctly, two of the limericks will be a winner. Ready to go? I am. Here's your first limerick. I'm approaching each morsel with dread. Eat it plain or enhance it with spread. At this overblown price, I must savor each slice. 60 bucks for a plain loaf of...
Bread. Right. The bakery rye in New York City is going viral for their $60 loaf of, wait for it, rye bread. And it's not even party-sized or covered in gold leaf. For $60, a loaf of bread better have a $50 bill stuffed inside. Wow, have you tasted the rye? No. We bought it as an investment. Can you write it off on your taxes? Maybe. I don't know. Well, we have an expert. Can you write off a $60 loaf of bread on your taxes?
Probably not. Okay. When I first heard about this, I thought it was a front for the mob because a lot of those businesses pop up in New York. I'm not going to name them because they'll kill me. Christidis, they also, at this rye place, they slice them and then they put wet toppings on them and they sit all day. So they're pre-decorated and you get a wet piece of... Have you seen that? Have you been here? Have you ever been to Denmark? That's like typical. That answers that. Yeah, it really does. All right, here is your next limerick. I've got a wild storm that's internal. When I write it down, it's less infernal.
but it makes me feel bleak and someone might peek. So it's time I stop keeping a... Journal. Yes, a cultural reporter at the Washington Post says, journaling might be actually bad for you, which is surprising because it's long been recommended by the wellness industry and the people who like to sit with a hardcover notebook in the middle of a coffee shop and see if anyone notices them. Now, this writer explained, well, of course, keeping a journal, you think about when you tend to write things down. It's been a hard time. So keeping a journal will just remind you of the darkest periods of your life. But the real danger, she says, is that people might read them. Hold on. Don't we keep journals so they can be read by somebody? Really? Like, when I was a kid, I was writing things down so my mom could find it. Like, she would ground me, and I'm like, that ****. Really? She'll pay for this. Yeah, and I'd leave it somewhere where she could find it. No? Isn't it just to, like, kind of get attention? So anyway, this woman thinks maybe you shouldn't keep a journal. Here's your last limit.
Their garments so flowy they might drown. It's a new trend with which I'm not quite down. They are giving street cred to what mom wore to bed. They are all heading out in a... Nightgown. Yes, nightgown. They're back. Old tiny nightgowns with the high lacy neck and the long itchy sleeves are apparently this year's new little black dress. It's an outfit that says to the world, you boy, buy me the biggest goose you can find at the market.
The kids yearn to bed rot. I'm sorry. I think it's because no one wants to shave their legs. Everyone wants to be bloated, which feels good. I support that, yeah. If you're bloated, you've got to let it out. And you should always be ready to go to bed. Right. You're in the club, and it's like, well, I'm sleepy. Also, how did Rachel do in our quiz? She did great. Three out of three. Perfect score. Congratulations. Thank you. Thank you so much for playing, Rachel. Take care. Me too. Thank you so much.
Midlife brings a lot of changes. Your Turn with Alison Aubrey is a new podcast to help you navigate the twists and turns. From health and relationships to creativity and purpose, we can help steer your next chapter. With Your Turn with Alison Aubrey. Find it on the NPR app or wherever you get your podcasts. This is Terry Gross. When I was celebrating my 50th anniversary hosting Fresh Air, I asked my guest, Roastmaster General Jeff Ross, to roast me. Terry Gross, a barely living legend. Still at it. Listen to Fresh Air on the NPR app or wherever you get podcasts.
It is now time for our final game. Lightning fill in the blank. Each of our players will have 60 seconds in which to answer as many fill in the blank questions as they can. Each correct answer now worth two points. Alzo, can you give us the score? Of course. Rob and Rachel each have two, and Alonzo is blazing in the lead with four. Oh my gosh. How did that happen? Okay, well, that means Rob and Rachel are tied for second. Rachel, I'm going to arbitrarily pick you two go first. Here we go. The clock will start when they begin your first question. Fill in the blank. This week, health officials said that October is the best month to get the blank shot. COVID. Flu.
I'll give it to you. This week, a new report shows that Democrats account for the majority of mail-in blank requests. Voting. Right. This week, police in Latvia were called in to break up a fight between blank and blank. Bad guys and the good guys. No, between a badger and a hedgehog. After multiple reports of injury, Six Flags announced they were permanently closing their X2 blank. It's a roller coaster. It is, yes. On Monday, middle-aged basketball star Blank made his first appearance as a Philadelphia 76er. I don't know. Oh, my God. You're giving me the worst ones ever. LeBron James. This week, a man who crashed his car into the front of a Texas grocery store explained that he did it because blank.
Because he was late to become a black belt. No, he crashed it through the front of a grocery store because he really needed to use the bathroom. I've been there. The man was panicked when he got to the store at 4.30 a.m. and found out it was closed, so he did what any of us in that situation would do. He got back in the car, hit the gas, and crashed right through the front windows, ending up a really good distance down one aisle toward the back of the grocery store because, you know, if you're going to smash your car through a window to get to the bathroom, why not drive the whole way? I had E. coli for a summer, and I had thoughts like this every single day.
There was not a building that I would not find a way into to use the bathroom when it happens. How many times have you had E.coli? Shut up. Continuous. A month. Yeah. Tell me again about eating moldy pizzas. They taste good. Oh my god. You guys are so judgmental. Also, how did Rachel do in her quiz? You don't have to say, actually. She got three right for six more points, total of eight. All right. Okay. I'll take them.
All right. Rob, you ready to do this? You're up next. Fill in the blank. This week, a group of 100 scientists released a report warning that blank temperatures were rising faster than predicted. Sea level. Ocean. Ocean temperatures, yes. On Monday, blanks Starship rocket reached orbit for the first time. SpaceX. Yes. This week, police in Fiji are suspecting an inside job after $10 million worth of cocaine stored in their evidence locker was blanked. Stolen. No, it was replaced by $30 worth of flour. Of course. Of course.
On Thursday, online retail giant Blank unveiled a complete redesign of their Kindle e-readers. Amazon. Right. Following heavy rains that led to flooding this week, residents in a New Jersey town were shocked when they saw Blank going down the streets of their city. The zombie-verse. No. Beware the zombie-verse. No. A shark. After a nor'easter caused flooding across the East Coast, several people in a New Jersey town filmed a shark swimming through the town streets. It was even caught swimming up someone's driveway, which was scary, but it was even scarier when it got up to their front porch and was like...
Door dash. Also, how did Rob do in our quince? He and Rachel are best friends tied up. So how many then does Alonzo need to win? Alonzo, two to tie, three to win. That's still pressure. That's still pressure. That's still pressure. Here we go. This is for the game, Alonzo. Fill in the blank. On Wednesday, White House lawyers returned to court to defend Trump's global blanks. Paris. Right. Following a meeting with the White House, top tech executive signed a pledge to self-police blank development. AI. Right. This week, Chanel, Dior, and Louis Vuitton all held shows during blanks fashion week. Paris. Right. After a judge approved their settlement with 12 states, the merger between Paramount and blank was allowed to proceed. Warner Brothers. Warner Brothers is right. This week, a crane collapsed on a house in Florida while it was being used to blank.
This is Florida. It could be anything. I don't know, launch alligators? No, while it was being used to remove another crane that had collapsed on the same house. That fits. It really does. On Monday, the FDA warned of a blank outbreak tied to raw cheese.
E. coli? E. coli, yes. An E. coli outbreak. Wow. On Tuesday, fans of Backpack were thrilled when he was named the winner of Fat Blank Week. Oh, Fat Bear Week. Right. This week, the Guardian newspaper in England warned that that country is running dangerously low on blank. England's running low on, I don't know, sausage? No, England is running low on hunky guys. Organizers of the Mr. England campaign realized they had a problem this week when they noticed the pageant was only 13 days away and only seven guys had signed up. Turns out England only has four handsome men and every single one of them is busy auditioning to be the next James Bond.
Also, did Alonzo do well enough to win? Alonzo kicked ass. Yes. He got six right for 12 more points, total of 16, and the win. Congratulations.
Coming up, our panelists predict how will the lonely tech bros rehabilitate their romantic image. But first, let me tell you that Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me is a production of NPR and WBEZ Chicago in association with Urgent Haircut Productions, Doug Berman, the benevolent overlord. Philip Godica writes our limericks. Our public address announcer is Paul Friedman, our ops manager. It's Jasira Fardak. Thanks to the staff and crew at the Studebaker Theatre, BJ Liederman composed our theme. Our program is produced by Jennifer Mills, Miles Norblas, and Lillian King. Special thanks this week to Blythe Robertson, Gary Yeck, Janie Hoffman, and Dom Banyas. Peter Gwynn has a dog.
Emma Choi is our Vibe Curator. Technical Direction is Lorna White. Our CFO is Colin Miller. Our Production Manager is Robert Newhouse. Our Senior Producer is Ian Chilog and the Executive Producer. Wait, wait, don't tell me, that's Mike Danforth. Now panel, how will Tech Bros get their mojo back? Rachel Costner. Who cares? Rob Anderson. They'll finally open up about their feelings on their Substack.
And Alonzo Bowden. They're going to keep it in-house by ordering AI women from Amazon. And if any of that happens, panel will ask you, but I don't know, wait, wait, don't tell me. Thank you, Alzo Slade. Thanks also to Rachel Koster, Alonzo Bowden. Thanks to Rob Anderson. Congrats on a great debut. Thanks to all of you here in the Scooter Bakers Theater and everybody out there listening wherever you are. Peter Segal, we'll see you next week.
This is NPR. Maya Higa built an animal sanctuary that's closed to the public but welcomes thousands of online visitors every day. All the silly things that animals do when we aren't looking or when they think we're not looking, we can watch on the live cams. Ideas about understanding wild animals without getting in their way. That's on the TED Radio Hour podcast. Listen on the NPR app or wherever you get your podcasts. This is Terry Gross. When I was celebrating my 50th anniversary hosting Fresh Air, I asked my guest, Roastmaster General Jeff Ross, to roast me. Terry Gross, a barely living legend.
Still at it. Listen to Fresh Air on the NPR app or wherever you get podcasts.