We Raised Them For A World We Couldn't See

The world our adult children grew up in is not the world we grew up in. The economy shifted. The technology shifted. The pace, the pressure, the rules for building a stable life, all of it moved while we weren’t looking. In this episode, Dr. Janet Steinkamp steps back from the arguments and the hurt feelings to ask a bigger question. Not what our adult children believe, but what world shaped them, and why understanding that changes everything.In This Episode•    Why the ground genuinely shifted for this generation, and how easy it is to mistake a different reality for a personal rejection•    What the numbers actually say about how often young adults change jobs today, drawing on US Department of Labor data•    How constant social comparison reshapes the way our adult children measure their own lives•    The difference between agreeing with our adult children and simply understanding them•    The one internal shift, from certainty to curiosity, that changes almost every conversation that followsVoices From This Episode•    "Not what our adult children believe, but what world they came of age in. Because the ground shifted under them. The economy, the technology, the pressure, the pace, all of it looks different from the world that many of us stepped into as young adults. And when we forget that, we can mistake a different reality for a personal rejection."•    "When I started out as a guidance counselor in the 80s, we told students as they graduated that they should anticipate changing jobs about five times in their career. What we say now, based on the US Department of Labor and Statistics, is that people will change jobs on average 17 times in their career, and that they may actually change into completely different industries."•    "As adults, when we hear them say that we didn't prepare them, they're not altogether wrong. And we are not at fault. It isn't an issue of blame or shame. It's an issue of not knowing."•    "There have been unprecedented changes in the level of social comparison. Where we used to talk about keeping up with the Joneses, and that was based on our neighbors, the people at work, maybe the people we knew from the schools. Today it is a constant inundation of messaging about what success looks like, how quickly success should come, who gets to decide what success is. And this isn't just local, this is global."•    "Curiosity is not agreement. It never was. It's simply the willingness to ask what your adult child is up against before deciding what their choices mean, before deciding whether you agree with them or not. That one shift from certainty to curiosity changes almost everything in the conversations that follow." ConnectFind the show on YouTube at @DrJanetSteinkamp. If this episode spoke to something you have been carrying, share it with a parent who needs to hear it.One Next StepIf you would like a low-pressure place to bring your questions, Dr. Janet holds Virtual Office Hours. No commitment, just a chance to be heard and to hear from others walking the same road. You can find the details and register through the website.REGISTER FOR OFFICE HOURS: https://www.whenouradultchildrenwalkaway.com/office-hoursLEARN MORE: WhenOurAdultChildrenWalkAway.comProduced by Balancing Life’s Issues.Hi Listeners. I'd love to hear from you!DISCLAIMERThe content of this podcast is based on my professional work as an estrangement coach and my personal estrangement journey. Any examples, characters, or stories referenced are drawn from my own lived experience or represent a composite of multiple real-life situations shared with me over time. PROFESSIONAL STANDARDS: Dr. Janet SteinkampWhen Our Adult Children Walk Away with Dr. Janet Steinkamp explores healthy communication, ethical interaction, safe family relationships, and reciprocal (appropriate) boundaries. The podcast provides education and support for parents navigating family estrangement, communication breakdowns, grief, reconciliation efforts, healthy boundary development and adult family relationship dynamics.Dr. Janet Steinkamp's work emphasizes emotionally healthy communication, adult accountability, ethical and safe relationship practices, mutual respect and appropriate boundaries, voluntary communication and reconnection and safe and appropriate family systems. Listeners gain practical tools to improve communication, understand the dynamics of estrangement, and pursue emotional responsibility, compassion, and integrity.