Weasel Slappers and Monkey Farmers episode artwork

EPISODE · Feb 3, 2020 · 4 MIN

Weasel Slappers and Monkey Farmers

from Wizard of Ads Monday Morning Memo

It takes four people to make a world.One person wants acceptance.They hope to save the relationship.Under pressure, they acquiesce.One person wants accuracy.They hope to save face.Under pressure, they avoid.One person wants applause.They hope to save effort.Under pressure, they attack.One person wants accomplishment.They hope to save time.Under pressure, they become autocratic.When I was taught these things 40 years ago, I didn’t know what ‘autocratic’ meant, but I knew I was the fourth person, the ‘autocratic’ one focused on accomplishment.Impediments and incompetence annoy me, and I see no value in committees.In case you didn’t know, that last statement was autocratic. AAutocrats are socially awkward, but we are good at making things happen. If you want to get something done, put an autocrat in charge. If they need a friend, they’ll buy a dog.If you want acceptance, you will try to win those people who do not believe in your dream.If you want accuracy, you will study and plan and update your plan again and again.If you want applause, you will talk to the people who admire you.If you want accomplishment, you will leap to the challenge and deal quickly and directly with impediments and incompetence. This is what it means to be a weasel slapper.Monkey farmers see a problem and embrace it, form a bond with it, try to understand it, then carry that monkey on their back. This monkey attracts other monkeys. Are you beginning to see the problem?I said, “Autocrats are socially awkward, but we are good at making things happen.” But the things we make happen aren’t always good. This is why the other three people are so important.The one who wants acceptance will make sure customers love your company and your employees never want to leave it.The one who wants accuracy will make sure the bills are paid and that you never get in trouble with the IRS or with any other regulatory agency.The one who wants applause will make sure everyone has heard of you.By yourself, you are just a lone nut charging a windmill with a lance.Would we have ever heard of Don Quixote if there had been no Sancho Panza?Would we have ever heard of Steve Jobs if there had been no Wozniak?Would we have ever heard of ‘Look at Me’ Paul McCartney without brooding, negative John Lennon? Could Lennon and McCartney have been The Beatles without sardonic George Harrison and ‘I Love Everyone’ Ringo Starr?It takes four people to make a world.Anyone who thinks they can do it all alone…is going to find themselves…all alone.Roy H. Williams

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