Week 140: As of now, I'm not a writer

Week 140 - a number. Finished recording Sunday 11:43 PM - I wrote the rest before recording. I'm being too dreamy and not practical enough. I need to focus on my life, my skills, my capacity and become more capable.  I need to put my life in order, before thinking of writing books that will put the world in order, I took my thinking too far and my current self is always suffering for it. Not able to live and experience life to its fullest as I am where and when I am.  All in the path of learning, and I have learned, about people, my expectation and acting towards work, and very importantly, what I like doing and what I don't like doing, and how I think I can take my learnings to suit myself best and become capable of working in a way that I find good to my standards.  And also, my craft as a writer. I am seeing what it is, what it keeps and what it doesn't, how it opens up new doors to see something new, and to compare voice and states from one day to the next, a week to the next, and it's unbelievable to see how much a state changes within a day or a week. No longer will I live in a dream world. Not being practical or useful, waiting. As if it's an explosion that will happen and waiting to happen and leaving myself in a state of tension till it happens. That ends now. My internal world is the constant explosion, every day, with who I am and where I am. I need to be more capable and smarter, make smarter decisions, more acute with my arguments and logic. And as I learn, read, develop my skills and what I'm capable of, my writing will reflect that, it will be able to show more and in more directions and in more thoughts, past or future, layered or unlayered and simplistic. There is no need to rush completion.  Such is the case with On Writing. I wrote the first draft in 4 days and less, but to really finish it and bring it together completely, I need the space for it and time, or so I tell myself. And it seems like life is opening my direction in a different way, in a different direction. I do not need to a writer. Not now. Far from it. As of now, I am no longer a writer. I am a man. A man living, exploring, improving, solidifying, and becoming more concrete, “confined” comes as a word in proper form. I’ll be learning business intelligence, I bought 4 books on writing and the perspective of writers in them. I wish to read 2 hours a day at least, and reflect on my writing. And when I am in the space to realize that truth, I will seize it, and I will fulfill it completely