Welcome To IHOP, I'll Be Your Lesbian Predator

On Today’s Show:Mourning the loss of another beloved U-tard: King Cobra JFS has passed awayA religious drummer goes rogue and turns praise music into a personal drum soloA hot dog–costumed woman takes revenge with toilet paperAn IHOP waitress moonlights as a lesbian predator on the jobEpisode Sponsor: Thanks to Haley’s Comet for sponsoring today’s stupidity and praising DV’s commitment to hard-hitting “porn news journalism.” Want to sponsor? Just $25 via PayPal at [email protected] revisits Pure Hypochondria, marking its one-year anniversary—stream it on Spotify, Apple Music, and beyond.Opening track: Semen Latte, inspired by Pastor Manning’s Starbucks rant and a true DV classic.DV pays tribute to the legendary YouTuber known for his drunken mead-making, Taco Bell devotion, and bizarre live streams.Audio highlights include Cobra’s “deathbed” complaints, Taco Bell philosophy, and his ill-fated relationship with Jessica Messica.Cause of death? Possibly bad homemade booze… or just Cobra being Cobra.Corey Feldman mangles Stand By Me with Jerry O’Connell.A church band’s drummer hijacks worship to bang for Christ like Animal from The Muppets.Body cam footage captures two unruly women who insist “you’re not going to arrest us.” Spoiler: they are arrested.One claims to be an Attorney General, demands body cams be shut off, flees, cries, then demon-screams.Fallout: Rhode Island’s AG office suspends her without pay for the outburst.IHOP Predator: A waitress in St. Petersburg harasses and gropes a 51-year-old woman mid-pancake run.Hot Dog Revenge: A drunk woman in a wiener suit vandalizes her neighbor’s car with toilet paper.Freak commentary on slow-witted stadium workers, Gary Puckett’s creepy collab dreams with Mead Skelton, and Unicorn Hamster scouting Sniffies hookups.Tim reminisces about childhood cereals: Cookie Crisp, Smurf Berry, PB Cap’n Crunch, and more.Support DV and get exclusive shows all week:Monday & Wednesday: Bonus segment showsTuesday & Thursday: Full-length exclusive episodesJust $9/month (less with longer plans). Sign up at DistortedView.com, Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or Patreon.Closing Thought:“You’re not going to arrest us.”— Every drunk woman ever, right before being handcuffed.🎶 Musical Oddities🪦 RIP King Cobra JFS🎤 Cringe Performances🚔 Cop Cam Chaos🍳 Florida Follies📞 Listener Voicemails📢 Join The Sideshow