Welcome to Swingtown, with Ashleigh Renard

INTRODUCTION Are you someone who has a hard time putting themselves first? Do you have a hard time vocalizing what your needs are? Many of us who answer yes to both of these questions often struggle with our interpersonal relationships, especially romantic ones. We do things for other people while ignoring or not even realizing what it is we really want. This can lead to resentment, frustration, and feeling like our needs don’t matter. Oftentimes, this is something we learned in childhood when high expectations are thrust upon us, and we don’t realize the wounds that cause until later in life when we can process it with more fully formed minds. Ashleigh Renard knows what I mean all too well. She spent her childhood, and a good part of her young adult life, on the ice. She skated through injury and pain because she felt she needed to be perfect. During this time in her life, she was rewarded for suppressing her needs and living for others. However, this came to haunt her in adulthood when her marriage nearly fell apart. She worked her way through it, though, in a way that many of us might find unconventional—by opening up her marriage. After doing so, she realized what she needed in life and found the strength and courage to admit it to her husband—and now their marriage has never been stronger. Listen in to hear her talk about that, and so much more! MEET ASHLEIGH RENARD As a figure skating coach and choreographer, Ashleigh Renard spent two decades building trust and fostering teamwork, growing her synchronized skating organization to one of the biggest in the world. Now she offers support and encouragement to millions of couples every week through her lifestyle blog and coaching practice. She also co-hosts a podcast for content creators looking to grow their platform. Her memoir, Swing: A Memoir of Doing it all, has been called the sexiest, funniest, most deeply felt memoir you will read this year. I’ve read it and completely agree! KEY TOPICS COVERED Ashleigh’s background as a figure skater and coach How putting her needs last impacted her relationship with her husband Her motivation for writing Swing and the risks she took opening up about her personal life throughout the book The importance of prioritizing ourselves, understanding and voicing our needs The secret to building a platform for content creators How her advice blog is impact relationships and marriages in a positive way     KEY TAKEAWAYS   Find your voice. While many of us have been rewarded for putting ourselves last, it is important to remember that we are human, we have needs, and we need to express them. No one will just know them without us speaking up. It's not too late. If your personal relationship is on the rocks, it’s never too late to turn things around. Communication is key! Monogamy isn’t for everyone. Sometimes opening up a marriage can lead to increased communication and stronger feelings of trust and love. Get Physical. Physical intimacy is a natural and healthy extension of a relationship. Our best sexual intentions are often put to rest, however, as we collapse into an exhausted heap at the end of the day. Instead, you and your partner need to consciously commit to turning up the heat. Be Vulnerable. Sometimes you must dig deep and become vulnerable. Couples may find it surprising, but if each one becomes curious about one's own blind spots, discovers them, and then is courageous enough to share that vulnerability, it can help create deeper intimacy. MEMORABLE ADVICE “Give yourself permission to do something physical, get in your body, do something that's that lights you up, whether that's painting, taking a ceramics class or taking the dog for a hike. Those are the things that I think are going to help you connect with your partner physically.” WHERE TO BUY SWING Amazon  Bookshop.org GET IN TOUCH https://ashleighrenard.com/links If you liked this conversation, please tell a friend about it as well as like, rate, and review Uncorking a Story wherever you get your podcasts. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices