【文稿更新】老爸是全能手，老公啥也不会修

Xiaohua：Many girls see their dads as all-rounders, as they can fix everything at home, including leaking pipes and burned-out lights. However, when the girls grow up and get married, some of them find their husbands are not as versatile as their dads. Is it true? John：This is just strange to me, I mean like a burned-out lights, you are telling me that people can’t change the light-bulb? Man or woman, there is something, what, how, I just don’t get it. Zhou Heyang：Ok, well, I think there is a reason behind why guys don’t seem to be all that competent in fixing everything. John：Why aren’t women competent in changing a light-bulb? Zhou Heyang：Ok , let me just answer your first question first, ok… John：Oh, the second question first. Zhou Heyang：Stop messing, you know, the order of things. Anyway, so it seems like sometimes, the newer version of lights we get now is isn’t all that user-friendly. Sometimes, it is not as simple as sticking a different light-bulb on, but there’s like hooking the wires andstuff. So I mean if it is like a more advanced technology that requires more advanced knowledge in fixing it, come on, I don’t think guy is, or even the dads probably have that kind of knowledge that’s required sometimes. John：But also it is really annoying, mean its its… Zhou Heyang：why? John：No, not…What you said. But looking at, you know, woman comparing their husbands to their dads, I mean, it is kind of interesting, because they are actually being very honest about where their archetypes of masculinity are coming from. I’m now sure we should necessarily expect people to be able to do that. But it shows a bit of awareness, perhaps that somehow women tend to do have such awareness. But at the same time, you know, do you want to be marrying your father is one of the bigger questions we should to be asking here. And inevitably, we do end up marrying a version of our parents, whether it is composite of your mother and father, or whether you know, more father, or more mother. For either sex, I think it just kind of happens. Because it is what we are familiar with, this is what we are used to. And also, especially with the daughters to father, and sons to mother, that’s our archetype of how the other sex is formed or what we are supposed to expect from them and things like that. But at the same time, you know, you couple that, you know, the gender archetype with the huge generation gap. And of course, your husband is not going to be able to do the same things as your father. And actually it is quite insulting to be like what..why can’t man fix stuff anymore or ok fine but why can’t she cook anymore, why can’t she sew my clothe anymore. Why are you now at working instead of staying at home watching the kids all day. I mean come on, grow up, we are living in the different world. Zhou Heyang： Well, that is true that we are living in the different world. And I think maybe is not so much as fixing a water pipe, a fountain type. But now what is often expected for guys is you can fix the computer or you can work around all the gadgets that are available. And so I think guys do acquire new skills in that regard as time has moved on，but for the guys that can’t even do that, I am sorry to have that tone here. Still, there are certain things that are sort of expected from you and it sort of comes from gender roles. John：Also, but this thing is about one woman said that she bought a bookshop for asking her boyfriend to set it up. And he said it, without even trying, without even looking at it; he said that he cannot do it. This is a big problem because we generalized from that one example; I mean that for all I see, it’s just a lazy guy. Without even trying, he doesn’t even do anything. And I think that is totally different, and we shouldn’t generalize from that example. But it is a complicated picture. Because on one hand, most people are used to when they come to furniture these days, someone delivers it and they put it together. But what I think is interesting is that DIY is becoming a bit more fashionable, you might say. But the problem is I mean that, I grow up at a time where, I grow up with Legos, and Lego is great, because there are different types of sets, one type of set is free-formed, and you built whatever you want. Some come with its structures. Xiaohua: Exactly. John：So from when I was a young boy, I grew up following the instructions on how to build big starships and things like that. And IKEA is the very same thing, but it can be a little confusing if you are not used to it. So I can imagine that many Chinese men who have no experience of building anything whatsoever, had no experience building according to instructions, and may be confused by things coming from IKEA. Zhou Heyang： And also well, just to sort of bounce back on what John said just now, I think there is a problem with our education system here as well. Because during your primary school days, I think it is hugely useful for both boys and girls to learn how to sew and how to fix things or do some just easy manual work. And I think that part is often lacking. John：I will say this, there was a study done a couple of years ago in US and UK, that showed that in couples that in couples that split chores along traditional gender roles, they usually engaged in more intimate relations. So, guys fix stuff, women, clean stuff, you will be lot heavier. Xiaohua: I think there are still the expected skills of man and woman.