【文稿】完美主义or强迫症？（上）

Heyang: Do you have a very strict routine that you have to follow everyday and never let yourself go if you couldn't make it, or you insist finishing washing all the dishes in the kitchen even when you are sick, or you have to organize your closet in military style otherwise you won’t be able to leave the house? If your answer is yes, you might be a perfectionist, or someone with OCD! That is obsessive-compulsive disorder, so it actually could be a disease. So guys, could you please enlighten me first with the definition perfectionist and OCD? What is going on here?YuYang: Oh yeah, research on perfectionism has indicated that there are two main types. The first type is healthy perfectionism. This type of perfectionism is categorized by high standards of yourself, as well as other persistence in the face of adversity, and conscientiousness. Healthy perfectionism usually goes along with goal-directed behavior and good organizational skills but the second type of perfectionism is the so-called not that healthy, unhealthy perfectionism. This type of perfectionism is characterized by excessive preoccupation with past mistakes, fears about making new mistakes, doubts about whether you are doing something correctly. Excessive preoccupation with control is also a hallmark of the unhealthy perfectionism. So in general, while healthy perfectionism tends to be associated with good psychological well-being and high achievement both at school and at work, the unhealthy perfectionism has been associated with distress, low-self esteem and symptoms of mental illness, such as OCD.Ryan: Okay, but Yuyang, you know you described excessive preoccupation with past mistakes, and fears about making new mistakes, doubts about whether what we are doing, if we are doing correctly. This sounds like something maybe everybody has, but maybe you can paint a picture because you have told that sometimes, you fit in the category of perfectionist in describe, what is it? YuYang: I can go on endlessly. First of all, the first thing I do every morning after steeping into the office is cleaning my desk, my chair, the computer keyboard, or even my earphone sometimes. I know it sounds weird but it is me.Heyang: No! It is not weird at all. And every morning, I see Yuyang working as busy as a bee, and she is not even seated yet, she is just cleaning everything first and she gets her own little rag thing that she gets, a piece of cloth that is very clean and she uses it to clean more things. Otherwise, she will not feel comfortable being seated there.YuYang: I think so. I think I will feel more comfortable after I finish cleaning all of them. Clean it first, and then I can do other stuff. Ryan: Well so we were talking about this early this morning, and so, my first exposure to OCD, I remember our specific story, at first, I thought it was really funny and I want to share with you guys. So, there is this guy, he lived in whats called a cul de sac in the story. And so a cul de sac is like a circle of houses surrounding this one common area street, the circle. And so, he wanted every morning to bring his trash out, he would have to come out of his house and look directly at the ground. And his neighbor is like “This guy is so weird, like why he is just starring at the ground?” The thing is he had OCD, in which, he could not look, you know out of sight out of mind, he could not look at other people's trash cans. His neighbors, and because it was a circle, he would see them easily. He couldn’t look at them without having the, if he did look at them, go over there and organize their trash. So, they said sometimes, you know, a car with honk, and he would look up. The people that saw him would see this expression like, “Awww man, no I gotta go to organize everybody’s trash!” So basically, this guy could not do it. You know there is a feeling of urgency. This very strong feeling he couldn't resist that he knew if he saw all these trash cans, something inside of him, had to go and organize. YuYang: You know what Ryan, after hearing your story, actually I feel good. I realized that I am not that extreme and I am still healthy maybe.Heyang: Oh definitely! So it sounds like you are the perfectionist, but you haven't got OCD, compulsive…what is it? What is the O stands for? Obsessive-compulsive disorder. YuYang: Yeah, exactly. But sometimes I think I am standing in the middle. And I think I have a very strong impulse after I arrive home. To do cleaning firstHeyang: Still cleaning?YuYang: Still cleaning, but not that extreme. I collect all the garbage and throw them outside. But I don't care much, that much garbage on the road or other places. Yeah I think Ryan you have given me a good therapy. Ryan: I am happy to helps. But you know research, we have found something, I should say something first of all, I am, what we call in the English language, a, hypochondriac, too low level, but sometimes, I feel like I have something when I read more about it, and so, we will doing this “I feel like I have some of these symptoms.” But, maybe you guys can chime in and let me know if you have fallen into any of these categories. So, it is says unhealthy perfectionism can also be described as if you do not feel you have the perfect certainty that you've locked a door, turn off the stove as you are trying to leave the house. For me, I know I literally have a problem where when I am walking away from the ATM, I have to check it 5 times to make sure A, I pull out the money and B, I got my card. And like I will leave, and like I walk a couple steps, and then come back. And I have done this three times. I do know to a certain extent that “Oh yea, I probably did it.” But there is a nagging suspicion in the back of my head. And I just can’t ignore. So, I am definitely fall in to that category, I think.Heyang: The frequency is a little bit high. And actually it is a really good point that you should always check. But usually I don’t think we have the problem of taking the money, but taking the card with you. Sometimes you just forget! But anyways, maybe I am one of those exact opposite person to perfectionist. Maybe I don't really see why there is such urgency with these things. And my belief in life is I think 70% good is superb. YuYang: Wow that's quite healthy Heyang, I am jealous of you. You know sometimes being a perfectionist is tedious.