【文稿】“宅”是脱单最大阻碍

Xiaohua: Being indoorsy is the biggest obstacle for single people to find a partner, according to a new report. As they spend too much time at home, they don’t get to meet new people. Do you think that it is the biggest obstacle?Zhou Heyang: I think it seems to have captured the essence of the problem. First of all, this report was released by the matchmaking website Baihe.com and looked at 73,000 net users and it also surveyed 200 single people offline with these detailed interviews. It seems to come to this conclusion that it is because you don’t go out enough and you stay in too much and that’s why you don’t even give yourself a chance to meet people.Mark: But what about social media? Is that not being taken to an account. I mean if you look to this ten years ago, I would have agreed. What do they say? They say 63% of single people spend 6 hours alone inside on a day off. Yeah, ten years ago if you did that, of course you wouldn’t meet anyone. But now you could be on some social networking, we all have Wechat going on. Previously, we had Weibo, which is kind of being out-fashioned now I think, isn’t it? So really now everyone is in touch all the time, with an ever increasing group of what they like to call friends, they are not really friends, but they could become friends in the future.Xiaohua: That’s exactly the point. Is social media a good way to meet new people, especially prospective partners?Zhou Heyang: I think that’s actually quite difficult.Not as easy or as friendly a place that you might think. And when you look at what do people do, if they don’t go out, the top three activities are surfing the Internet, hanging out with friends and I don’t really understand what that implies here, so maybe hanging out with your friends on Wechat. So still mingling with the people that you know and probably don’t really have a prospective relationship future with and thirdly is just do nothing and veg out. I like doing that, but that’s probably why I’m still single.Mark: I mean though have you never thought of befriending someone or you met on the social network and then become a friend?Zhou Heyang: Yes, I made friends of such, but I wouldn’t really consider them as someone that I might go out with in the future.Mark: No, but you might. I mean the thing is though that first of all you have to make a friend, if you just go looking through and thinking who would make a suitable marriage partner, you are not going to anywhere cause you don’t know who they are. You never even met them. But if you just think of it as a way to make friends as you have done, then perhaps not with the people that you met so far, but maybe in the future you might meet some and then after you meet them through this rather artificial modern way of meeting new people, after that the conventional way of just actually meeting them from time to time would take over. Then maybe a relationship will develop if that’s what you are looking for.Xiaohua: I think that is the point. Yeah, social media may be a good way of meeting new people or chatting with people you have just met in an offline event. But eventually, you have to go to offline in order to date, right? Nobody does all the dating through Wechat or some sort of social media. And if you are too intrigued on using Wechat and not on actually going out and meeting people, it’s still going to be hard.Mark: It would be better to maybe try to go to some events with group of people. There are loads of sort of interest groups that are online on social media, for things like people who like certain kind of musical something like that, you can find like-minded people through the social networks.Zhou Heyang: Yeah, I think that’s some very good suggestions that Mark you are giving to people, including myself I suppose.Mark: You make us cry, Heyang. Pass me one of those tissues, Xiaohua.Zhou Heyang: I don’t know why there is total of sorrow in my voice all of a sudden. But I think our discussion has been focusing on being sociable. It’s just a matter of online or offline, but that is the problem, because we single people often are not sociable at all. As according to this report, 30% of female single people who stay in a lot, we just watch TV online or just do our own staff. We are still not being sociable.Mark: But most people meet their future husband or wife at work. These are people you see everyday. That’s the fact.Xiaohua: I do like your attitude, Mark, that instead of complaining about social media, maybe it’s good to take advantage of it in order to find someone. But again, according to some of our listeners, sometimes social network can be untrustworthy, for example Bella says I hear that a lot of married people go to these dating websites and also Koey says there are many unknown things behind social media. Maybe you are talking with female, but then she pretends that she is a male.Mark: But let’s think of a much safer environment which is when you’re at work for example or it’s your university or college for example. If you’ve got Wechat, then you can get to know people are in your working environment, though you normally might not get to know them. If you just make someone in elevator, and you chat to them for no particular reason and then you say what’s your Wechat. And then that’s another person at work you met, Heyang. I should be charging for this.Xiaohua: You are talking about a pickup technique. You should give a lecture about it I think, Mark.Mark: I mean that’s another person you met in your work place or college that you can then send them message or something, saying if you want to come to the office and have a look at it and so forth. So that’s a much safer environment, because these people are you working with, it’s not completely strangers.