We’re Terrible at Fighting. Here’s How to Get Better.

Most of us try to avoid conflict. But done right, fighting can be a path to stronger teams and healthier communities. On this episode of Hello Monday, Priya Parker makes the case for embracing “healthy heat” and learning how to navigate conflict with care. Priya Parker is a conflict resolution facilitator and author of The Art of Fighting: The Transformative Power of Conflict. Drawing on her work with teams, organizations, communities and groups, she shares practical ways to face conflict effectively. Jessi and Priya discuss: Why conflict is often a sign of relevance, and why we tend to fight with the people and groups we care about most The difference between healthy heat, unhealthy peace and destructive conflict How healthy conflict can create connection, clarity, better decisions and stronger teams Why our “fighting muscles” have atrophied, particularly after the pandemic How digital communication can flatten or exacerbate conflict rather than help us hold productive tension How to become an artful fighter by approaching conflict with curiosity instead of immediately trying to shut it down How to identify “hairline fractures” before they grow into larger rifts within teams and communities How to determine whether a conflict is worth facing The role of an outside facilitator in helping teams navigate conflict and develop practical conflict-resolution skills Why preparing your body for conflict matters, including breathing, grounding and learning to stay physically relaxed under pressure How listening can transform conflict and why staying in the heat long enough to hear each other can create breakthroughs A lesson from the Canlis restaurant team: how treating feedback as “an investment in you” can help people listen without becoming defensive What the Seattle Seahawks can teach us about culture and hairline fractures Why learning to gather and fight well is increasingly important as AI reshapes the workplace Follow Jessi Hempel and Priya Parker on LinkedIn Join us for Office Hours, Wednesday at 3pm EST